THE CURE FOR COMPLAINING
So, what did you complain about this morning?
The person driving too slowly in front of you on your way to church?
The temperature of your coffee?
That this room was too cold, too warm, the sound too loud, not loud enough?
Your kids, your wife, your husband ... ?
Complaining has become as American as apple pie, don’t you think? Why?
Entitlement mentality- We feel entitled to fast internet, cell phone service, food served quickly ... (It’s a long list) and when it doesn’t happen, we feel entitled to gripe, grumble, and complain.
Boredom - Those who are not engaged in work that provides them with a sense of fulfillment are much more prone to fall into complaining about the efforts of others.
Poor self-image - Some complainers actually gripe because they feel miserable about themselves. In a curious twist of selfishness, they are incapable of seeing good in others and they have this need to pull others down, to criticize and to complain even about those who attempt to help them!
Think that’s harmless, that the complaining has no consequence?
The Bible teaches us otherwise.
The example of Israel -
The nation of Israel was enslaved in Egypt. For 400 years, the descendants of Abraham were living far from the land God had promised them, increasingly under the heavy hand of their oppressors. God called a man named Moses to be their deliverer and with a series of miracles brought about the defeat of a super-power, advanced society so that the people of Israel could leave Egypt and return to the land of their father, the Promised Land.
But, almost from the beginning, they were a people of miserable complaint!
Just days after seeing God’s amazing power, while they were encamped at the Red Sea, they saw the dust of the approaching Egyptian army on the horizon to the west. What did they do? They complained!
“Why did you bring us out here to die in the wilderness? Weren’t there enough graves for us in Egypt? What have you done to us? Why did you make us leave Egypt? Didn’t we tell you this would happen while we were still in Egypt? We said, ‘Leave us alone! Let us be slaves to the Egyptians. It’s better to be a slave in Egypt than a corpse in the wilderness!’ ” (Exodus 14:11-12, NLT)
Did God abandon them to the Egyptian army? No. He parted the Red Sea and they miraculously escaped, walking through on dry land!
Yet, weeks later, when they were short of water, instead of praying, they complained! When supplies were about to run out, they complained some more!
"There, too, the whole community of Israel complained about Moses and Aaron. “If only the Lord had killed us back in Egypt,” they moaned. “There we sat around pots filled with meat and ate all the bread we wanted. But now you have brought us into this wilderness to starve us all to death.” (Exodus 16:2-3, NLT)
Even then God sent them manna, a perfect heavenly food that they gathered each morning.
Were they thankful? No. Soon they had this complaint.
"The people of Israel also began to complain. “Oh, for some meat!” they exclaimed. “We remember the fish we used to eat for free in Egypt. And we had all the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions, and garlic we wanted. But now our appetites are gone. All we ever see is this manna!”
(Numbers 11:4-6, NLT)
It might seem humorous to us, but their endless lack of gratitude, their refusal to grow in faith,
was a sin with serious consequences!
∙ Their community cohesion broke down and they formed factions that fought with each other.
∙ They turned on their leadership time and again, which cost them dearly.
∙ Ultimately, their complaining destroyed their faith and their relationship with the Lord. This led them to refuse the Lord’s plan outright. After about a year of travel, of training, of receiving God’s Law - it was time to enter Canaan and take possession of God’s promise, but they would not do it!
And, the great tragedy was that at that moment, the Lord gave them what they wanted. He told them that they would spend the next 40 years living in the desert, wandering around in circles, until the last person of the faithless generation had died off! Only then, would their children be permitted to enter the Promised Land.
"But as surely as I live, and as surely as the earth is filled with the Lord’s glory, not one of these people will ever enter that land. They have all seen my glorious presence and the miraculous signs I performed both in Egypt and in the wilderness, but again and again they have tested me by refusing to listen to my voice. They will never even see the land I swore to give their ancestors. None of those who have treated me with contempt will ever see it." (Numbers 14:21-23, NLT)
"But as for you, you will drop dead in this wilderness. And your children will be like shepherds, wandering in the wilderness for forty years. In this way, they will pay for your faithlessness, until the last of you lies dead in the wilderness. “ ‘Because your men explored the land for forty days, you must wander in the wilderness for forty years—a year for each day, suffering the consequences of your sins. Then you will discover what it is like to have me for an enemy.’ I, the Lord, have spoken! I will certainly do these things to every member of the community who has conspired against me. They will be destroyed here in this wilderness, and here they will die!” (Numbers 14:32-35, NLT)
One Bible teacher reminds us that - “Discontentment magnifies what is past, and vilifies what is present, without regard to truth or reason.” - Matthew Henry
Complaining Christians are expressing a form of unbelief
which leads them inevitably to some form of rebellion.
(Would you say that with me?)
When we give in to complaint, we are really telling God that we know better than He does what is best for our lives, that we do not believe He loves us enough to care for us. PAUSE
Here’s what the Word asks of us-
"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe" (Philippians 2:14-15, NIV)
____________
The Cure -
If your plan is to just ‘stop complaining’ by filtering the words that come out of your mouth, I can tell you right now with 100% certainty, that before the sun sets today, you will have failed in your quest.
Something or someone will aggravate you, fatigue will overcome you, disappointment will set in - and you will complain!
∙ It might be about one of your kids, or about your spouse.
∙ It may be the server who fails to remember that you asked for the salad dressing on the side.
∙ It could be that the football team you fanatically support will fumble three times, or be the victim of a terrible call... and you’ll talk trash at your TV.
So, am I suggesting that we just have to accept we are a bunch of whiney, entitled people who will always complain? NOT AT ALL!
The cure for a complaining attitude does not start at my lips, it starts in my heart!
(Would you say that with me?)
Jesus teaches us that what we say is an overflow of the things tucked deep inside of us. Give a person enough time to talk and he will eventually reveal what he believes and what he thinks.
“Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him." (Matthew 12:33-35, NIV)
The cure for a complaining attitude does not start at my lips, it starts in my heart!
So, what can be done?
1. True thankfulness is born when we acknowledge, without excuse, the sin of our complaint to Christ.
The Bible gives an amazing promise to those who ‘own’ their sin. John says that
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us ... we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One." (1 John 1:8-2:1, NIV)
You can offer a thousand reasons why it is OK that you complain....
∙ My spouse would drive Jesus, Himself, to complaining.
∙ My kids make me crazy.
∙ Have you met my boss?
∙ Do you see this illness I have to deal with constantly?
And if you make excuses, you will never change. Only when you face yourself and tell God the truth, agreeing with Him about what’s wrong, will you experience the transforming power of the Holy Spirit!
2. True thankfulness flows out of complete trust.
How big is YOUR God? When we complain about life, we diminish Him. I essence we are ripping the heart out of our faith, and that faithlessness builds a wall that keeps us from knowing His gift of grace.
Did God know what would happen to you today? YES!
Did He allow it? YES.
If that is true, then HE is capable of taking the good, the bad, the pleasant, the unpleasant - and using all it to accomplish His divine purposes- in the world, and in us. When we cultivate the child-like trust and live in that way, we meet each day with a true sense of gratitude and expectation.
I love Psalm 37 and read it often because it teaches me to TRUST completely.
"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land." (Psalm 37:3-9, NIV)
3. Thankfulness is a choice.
There is a phrase in the Bible that shows us that thankfulness is as much a choice as it is a response! Christians are told "Through Jesus, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that confess his name." (Hebrews 13:15, NIV)
A sacrifice is an offering given to God as an act of worship! When we learn to speak thankfully,
when we still the complaining, God is honored!
Such gratitude marks us as very different, people with a changed heart.
This ‘attitude of gratitude’ flourishes when Self is dethroned and we express real thankfulness.
Note the imperative voice of this passage. It’s not a suggestion. It’s not advice. God directs us to a choice!
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7, NIV)
"Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." (Ephesians 5:19-20, NIV)
Last week I reminded you that “we are about as happy as we choose to be.”
Today, I want us to accept that “We are as thankful as we choose to be.” (Say it with me)
__________
Gratitude, true thankfulness, is a beautiful thing.
Christ shines through the life of the Christian who is sincerely thankful.
So.... let’s remember that ...
1. True thankfulness is born when we acknowledge, without excuse, the sin of our complaint to Christ.
2. True thankfulness flows out of complete trust.
3. Thankfulness is a choice.
This is the cure for complaining.
PRAYER
