“Quarrelsome Christians”
October 20, 2013
2 Timothy 2:14, 23-24
“Keep reminding God’s people of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen.”
“Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.”
We are continuing on this grand theme of being discipled by Jesus. You may remember me saying that the big problem in Christianity today is undiscipled disciples. Every church is full of them. You may be one of them. But we have been taught for so long that all we have to do is accept Jesus as our Savior and we have our ticket to heaven. Or all we have to do is ‘believe’ in Jesus and we have our ticket. There is no motivation to change; no motivation to repent; no encouragement to be transformed.
The Bible doesn’t teach that. The Bible teaches that we are to become “a new Creation”. The Bible teaches that we are to be “born again”. The Bible teaches that we are to be “transformed” into the image of Christ. The Bible teaches that we are to be ‘discipled’ and then we are to go ‘make disciples’.
When Jesus was growing up in His earthly father’s home, He was learning the trade of carpenter – because his father was a carpenter. James and John were learning how to be fisherman – because their father was one. In fact, most people learned their trade from their fathers. They didn’t go to school. They had OJT or ‘On the Job Training’ they usually received from their fathers. Sometimes if the son wasn’t interested in doing the family business or the family wanted to advance socially or businesswise, the son would become an indentured servant to a craftsman of some kind. Often they would sell themselves to the craftsman and become their servant for up to seven years. In return they would learn the trade from the craftsman.
That was kind of the idea of a disciple. A disciple was a willing servant to his master and in return he was ‘discipled’ in the belief or philosophy of the master. Usually the discipling process took a number of years.
Some of Jesus’ last recorded words were for us to “go and make disciples”. I have to admit that I often thought that meant to go and win people to the Lord. It has been my goal for many years to bring people to a place in which they would pray a prayer of repentance and receive Jesus into their hearts.
That’s not what Jesus taught. He said to go and “MAKE disciples. He had just done that very thing. For over three years the disciples, or apostles, of Jesus walked with Him. The ate with Him. They spent day and night with Him. They learned how to be “Christlike”. They learned “the Way” God wanted them to live. And they were called “Followers of the Way” for many years. It wasn’t until many years later that they began to be called Christians because they had matured to such a degree that they were “Christlike” in the way they lived.
Today many people call themselves Christian who are nothing like Christ. They may know nothing of Him or what He taught and have no desire to follow His teaching. But they call themselves Christian anyway.
We need to desire to become like Christ. We must desire to be discipled by Christ. We must desire to be transformed into His image. How do we do that? By inviting Jesus to speak to us and disciple us today. What are the three primary ways He does that today? Through His Spirit speaking directly to our hearts; through His Word (the Bible) and through His Body (other Christians).
Last Wednesday evening in our Bible Study we took the time to share the times that Jesus has spoken to us in those three ways. Everyone could relate specific times that Jesus spoke to them in those three ways. Jesus still wants to speak to our hearts today.
Last week was a little difficult for me. I came down with a flu bug or a cold or something and I felt like I wasted a couple of days being sick. Consequently, I got a late start on my message. I kind of had an idea of what direction God wanted me to go – then on my morning walk on Thursday Jesus spoke to my heart in a completely different area – a completely different direction than what I was going to go. So here is what the Spirit laid on my heart; here is what I believe God wants me to share with you today. The subject is on quarrelling.
I think the purpose is two fold. First, God wants us to know that He does not want us to quarrel and secondly, God wants us to be able to recognize when His Spirit is not speaking – either in us or in someone else.
We live in such a quarrelsome world, don’t we? Ever watch those talk shows? Ever watch those reality shows? We live in a very contentious and quarrelsome age. Some people just LOVE to quarrel. The Bible says,
“Whoever loves a quarrel loves sin...” Proverbs 17:19
“An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends and against all sound judgment starts quarrels.” Proverbs 18:1
“It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.”
Proverbs 20:3
So many people just love to quarrel don’t they? Even in the home it’s a problem. The wisest man who ever lived apparently had a problem with a quarrelsome wife – or wives! He wrote,
“... a quarrelsome wife is like the constant dripping of a leaky roof.”
Proverbs 19:13
In case you didn’t get it in chapter 19, Proverbs repeats it in chapter 27.
“A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.”
Proverbs 27:15-16
In our day and age we don’t have a problem with leaky roofs. We have composition shingle roofs, slate roofs, slat roofs and metal roofs and they don’t leak, but I grew up in tar paper shacks up in northern Minnesota where it rained and snowed a lot – and the roof often leaked. Sometimes we would put a pan or a pail under the drip to catch the water. It sounds kind of nice at first. But when you hear that plop, plot, plot for hours on end – it gets a little irritating to say the least. Ever live with anyone like that? Ever live with a quarrelsome person? Solomon did. He said,
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” Proverbs 21:9
In case you didn’t catch it in chapter 21, Proverbs repeats it.
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” Proverbs 25:24
But He isn’t done. He says,
“Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.”
Proverbs 21:19
Do you begin to get the idea that living with a quarrelsome person isn’t very pleasant? Some of you know exactly what I mean!
If we are going to be discipled by Jesus we need to know that He doesn’t approve of being quarrelsome. The problem is that we have gotten so good at justifying ourselves and rationalizing our behavior that few quarrelsome people would admit that they have this problem. We ALL have this problem. It comes from the flesh. Since we live in a fallen world in fallen bodies – we naturally do the fallen thing. We all naturally are quarrelsome and the only way to stop it is to admit it, confess it and get spiritual help with it. The Bible says,
“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight...” James 4:1-2
“You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere humans?” 1 Corinthians 3:3
What causes quarrels is that we want our way – and they want their way. What causes quarrels is that you desire something of someone and you can’t have it – whether it is a thing or an idea or an action. You don’t get it – so you throw a fit. You gripe and criticize. What is the cause? Selfishness.
Self-centeredness. Proverbs calls it pride (13:10). It calls quarrelling - sin.
God does not want us to be quarrelsome. I know, I know – we think we have to defend the Bible or the truth or some other noble thing. But the Bible says,
“Keep reminding God’s people of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen.”
2 Timothy 2:14
“Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.” 2 Timothy 2:23-24
“The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Galatians 5:19-21
Does it need to be any plainer? Discord, fits of rage, dissensions, factions – those are all words for one form of quarrelling or another. Is this the way Christians are to act? I don’t think so. Jesus was in a number of situations where He would have been justified in quarreling. The rich young ruler said he kept ALL the commandments. He didn’t even keep the first one. Did Jesus point that out? No. It doesn’t do any good to be quarrelsome. Jesus skipped over the obvious fact and simply said, “You still lack one thing...”
When the woman who was caught in adultery was brought to Jesus and they asked Him what to do with her – He could have got on his bandwagon and let those hypocrites have it. But He didn’t. He kept quiet and wrote something in the sand. I wonder if it was their sins. But He didn’t quarrel. He gave them permission to give her what she had coming to her. He told them to go ahead and stone her – only the one who was without sin was to cast the first stone. Only Jesus could have done that. Only He was without sin. But He gave her mercy and not justice. His instructions to her were to “go and sin no more.”
I know, I know! Some quarrelsome person will point out the fact that Jesus was in conflict. He drove the money changers out of the temple with a whip. Jesus wasn’t afraid of conflict. If He wanted to He could have whipped any of them. He had the power. He had the resources. But He choose to act out of love. He was not a quarrelsome person. He was a person of peace.
Jesus left us an example of how we should act and live – and it is not to be quarrelsome. The Word says,
“Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam...” Proverbs 17:14
Can you imagine standing in front of a dam when it was breached – (that means to break apart)? What would happen if you were standing in from of Shasta Dam or the Lake Siskiyou Dam when it split? You would be swept away –wouldn’t you? Not only would you be swept away but everyone close by would be swept away.
That is what happens in a quarrel. Every one gets sucked in. Everyone get hurt. The Bible says,
“Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.” Proverbs 17:1
Ever been to a thanksgiving dinner or a Christmas dinner where there was quarrelling going on? It isn’t much fun, is it?
So how do we stop it? Let’s look to Proverbs first. It says,
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Proverbs 15:1
“A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.” Proverbs 15:18
“It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.”
Proverbs 20:3
Don’t be a fool. Don’t be quick to quarrel. It is to your honor to avoid strife and quarrelling. We are afraid someone may think we are afraid; that we are a chicken – so we think we have to defend ourselves. The opposite is true. The Bible says to let God defend you. We need to imitate Jesus when He was going through all the false accusations and that kangaroo court. He didn’t say a word. The Bible says,
“Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Philippians 2:14-15
Did you get that? We are to do everything without grumbling. We are to do everything without arguing. We are to do everything without complaining – as the King James Version puts it. Here’s some more direction for you.
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29
Do you want to be a true disciple of Jesus? Then put a bridle on your tongue. Think before you let that thought pop out of your mouth. Ask yourself if this thing you are about to say is ‘constructive’ or ‘destructive’. Only what is helpful to others should come out of our mouths. Only those things that build up - should come out of our mouths. What we say should not be for OUR benefit – but for those who are listening to us. We should be meeting THEIR needs. This is God’s will for your communication.
For years I have said that the biggest hindrance to Christianity; the biggest hindrance to Kingdom building is Christians – who aren’t very Christ-like. The world looks at Christians quarrelling and don’t want anything to do with us. Can you blame them? Don’t get me wrong – we don’t have to agree on everything. We don’t have to see eye to eye on everything. It is okay to disagree – but we don’t have to be disagreeable while we do it.
Sometimes, like Jesus at the temple we need to take a stand. Maybe even get a little physical or vocal – but it needs to be for the right cause. It needs to be ‘God approved’ before you do something like that. Remember, in three and a half years of minister – Jesus only did something like that once or maybe twice. He was known for being loving and kind. He was known as a man of peace. He was known for His gentleness – not for being quarrelsome.
Let’s strive to be more Christ-like. Let’s desire to be discipled. May it never be said of us that we are quarrelsome or unkind. We need to take a stand against the evils that are so prevalent in our day. But let’s do it in a Christlike way.
May we live out the fruits of the Spirit daily. May God bless you as He disciples you into His own image.
SONG
