Malachi Series
Divorce & Remarriage Pt.1
July 14, 2013
Chester FBC, Chester, IL Dr. Mike Fogerson, Pastor
Introduction:
A God hates divorce . . . but He doesn’t hate the divorce’.
1 Divorce, at least in certain churches/circles, disqualifies people from ministry (typically being a pastor/deacon.)
a Other questions being?
aa Can a divorced person remarry in the eyes of God?
bb Should a woman leave her unfaithful, unbelieving husband?
cc What about abandonment? Abuse & Physical danger?
dd What are the biblical guidelines for divorce/remarriage?
ee Implications for the church?
b Anytime divorce & remarriage are studied/preached it can be counted on to be 1) Controversial 2) Emotional.
aa Divorce writes its misery on the partners, children, church.
bb Divorce has its own fruits (guilt, emptiness, loneliness, frustration)
cc Also, uncertainty (future relationships, ministries.)
2 Today, I do not want to look at what the traditions are of this church, but rather I would like to look at Scriptures, God’s Word has to say about divorce, remarriage.
a Malachi 2:10-16 (NASB) 10 "Do we not all have one father? Has not one God created us? Why do we deal treacherously each against his brother so as to profane the covenant of our fathers? 11 "Judah has dealt treacherously, and an abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem; for Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the LORD which He loves and has married the daughter of a foreign god. 12 "As for the man who does this, may the LORD cut off from the tents of Jacob everyone who awakes and answers, or who presents an offering to the LORD of hosts. 13 "This is another thing you do: you cover the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping and with groaning, because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. 14 "Yet you say, 'For what reason?' Because the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. 15 "But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. And what did that one do while he was seeking a godly offspring? Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth. 16 "For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously."
aa The men of Israel had began to divorce their lil’jewish wives because some other filly had caught their eye.
bb The fillies were “daughters of a foreign god.” v. 11
cc Paul in 2 Cor. 6.14-16, would call this unequally yoked. (Not about black/white/latino/hispanic/Asian . . . Lost/Saved.)
2 Corinthians 6:14-16 (NASB) 14 Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15 Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? 16 Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said, "I WILL DWELL IN THEM AND WALK AMONG THEM; AND I WILL BE THEIR GOD, AND THEY SHALL BE MY PEOPLE.
b v.10, God made men & women for each other, establish marriages for the good of the human family.
aa What Israel was doing was contrary to what God wrote in the nature of His covenant!
bb As a result of their disposable view of marriage, God said these men were “cut off rom the tens of Jacob.” (2.12) Lit. Excommunicated from the rest of the assembly!
cc They were still going to “church”, offering sacrifices . . . but they weren’t happy (v.13)
dd I suggest they weren’t crying because of the sorrow for their sin but because God didn’t accept/ give blessing to their sin.
c God desired the Jews to be different that other people. Why?
aa Israel was called by God to be the channel for bringing the Messiah into the world, and anything that corrupted that stream would work against His great plan of salvation.
bb By marrying pagan brides, they were having kids that were spiritually confused, not loving/following YHWH.
B The Jewish men in Malachi’s day had broken their vows to God & to their wives.
1 They were treating their vows at if they meant nothing. (Sounds familiar)
2 I want to spend today & tonight looking at divorce & remarriage.
a Tonight is perhaps the more controversial of the two because it will deal with more specific guidelines than I will give this morning. (Adultery)
aa Tonight we’ll go into more of the gray areas that are often misunderstood.
bb When is it wrong to remarry? Right to remarry?
cc What about divorce on the grounds of abandonment?
dd What if you get remarried after your spouse passes away?
ee If your former spouse remarries are you free to remarry?
ff Are abuse & physical danger are grounds for divorce?
gg What do biblical guidelines for divorce & remarriage mean for the church?
b Let’s pray!
I The Old Testament’s view of divorce.
A God’s ideal for marriage is a life long bond between a husband & wife–one flesh. (Matt. 19.5)
Matthew 19:5 (NASB) 5 and said, 'FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH'?
1 Marriage is God idea that is not to be dissolved at the will of man.
a Separating what God has established does at least two things:
aa Displeases God.
bb Threatens the social order.
b Malachi 2:15-16 (NASB) 15 "But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. And what did that one do while he was seeking a godly offspring? Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth. 16 "For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously."
aa The family is the nucleus of civilization.
bb Strong families begin with strong marriages: a man and a woman who love each other and want to live each for the other and both for the Lord.
cc Anything less than that is less than God’s will.
2 Moses (Deut. 24.1-4), allowed divorce if the wife became “indecent” (NIV), “no favor” (NASB/KJV)
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 (NASB) 1 "When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house, 2 and she leaves his house and goes and becomes another man's wife, 3 and if the latter husband turns against her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her to be his wife, 4 then her former husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her again to be his wife, since she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the LORD, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the LORD your God gives you as an inheritance.
a All depending how you viewed “indecent/no favor”.
aa Adultery, sexually immoral,
bb Any reason whatsoever (infertile to bad cook)
b The primary reason Moses allowed divorce was so a man couldn’t remarry his ex-wife after she had married another man.
aa Give me back my wife! She ain’t your wife no more!
bb The law was intended to discourage divorce, not to encourage it.
c Divorce was done publically (certificate of divorce) so she could remarry without civil/religious sanctions.
B In the OT, a man was allowed to divorce his wife yet the wife wasn’t allowed to divorce her husband for any reason.
1 Legally, the wife was bound to her husband as long as they both lived or until he divorced her (1 Cor. 7.39.)
1 Corinthians 7:39 (NASB) 39 A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
2 And, if the woman was found guilty of adultery she could be stoned to death .. . and if a man thought his wife was not a virgin on their wedding night, and could prove it to the elders of the city, he could have her put to death (Deut. 22.13-21)
Deuteronomy 22:13-21 (NASB) 13 "If any man takes a wife and goes in to her and then turns against her, 14 and charges her with shameful deeds and publicly defames her, and says, 'I took this woman, but when I came near her, I did not find her a virgin,' 15 then the girl's father and her mother shall take and bring out the evidence of the girl's virginity to the elders of the city at the gate. 16 "The girl's father shall say to the elders, 'I gave my daughter to this man for a wife, but he turned against her; 17 and behold, he has charged her with shameful deeds, saying, "I did not find your daughter a virgin." But this is the evidence of my daughter's virginity.' And they shall spread the garment before the elders of the city. 18 "So the elders of that city shall take the man and chastise him, 19 and they shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give it to the girl's father, because he publicly defamed a virgin of Israel. And she shall remain his wife; he cannot divorce her all his days. 20 "But if this charge is true, that the girl was not found a virgin, 21 then they shall bring out the girl to the doorway of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death because she has committed an act of folly in Israel by playing the harlot in her father's house; thus you shall purge the evil from among you.
II New Testament view on divorce.
A In Jesus’ day, people were very confused about the grounds for divorce.
1 There were two major schools of rabbinical teachings: Rabbi Shammai & Rabbi Hillel.
a Shammai: Taught only adultery were acceptable grounds for divorce. (Jesus would have aligned with Shammai at this point.)
b Hillel: Accepted many reasons, including such things as poor cooking.
c This was the confusion Jesus encountered on the issue of divorce & remarriage during His ministry.
2 There were Pharisees who divorced their wives (for reasons other than adultery) w/o giving them “certificates of divorce.”
a This certificate allowed them to remarry/cleared her reputation (an adulteress typically wouldn’t be given a certificate of divorce.)
b In fact, adulteresses and adulterers were subject to stoning (seldom carried out though.)
aa John 8:4-11 (NASB) 4 they *said to Him, "Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act. 5 "Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do You say?" 6 They were saying this, testing Him, so that they might have grounds for accusing Him. But Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground. 7 But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, "He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." 8 Again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. 9 When they heard it, they began to go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the center of the court. 10 Straightening up, Jesus said to her, "Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?" 11 She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said, "I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more."]
bb The Messiah defended/forgave her? Yes!
cc Jesus’ teaching in the area struck out against the male oppression in their relationship with women.
B The key passage on the matter of divorce in the NT is in the Sermon on the Mount (Matt. 5.27-32, KJV.)
Matthew 5:27-32 (KJV) 27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: 28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. 29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. 30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. 31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
1 Jesus declares “lust” to be adultery!
a In our day, would a person who has lusted in his/her heart be permanently disqualified from service in the church?
b In v. 31, the man putting his wife away has already got his eyes on another woman.
aa His wife is innocent, faithfully stayed true to the martial bed, but her husband was a jerk.
bb He was going to dismiss her w/o a certificate of divorce (Screamed she was guilty of adultery when she was innocent, ruined her reputation)
cc The husband was actually the adulterer, his actions were legally acceptable, but she and the man she would marry would bear the stigma through no fault of their own.
c v.32, “causeth her to commit adultery” KJV “Makes her commit adultery” NASB
aa Causeth: to produce, to construct, to form, to fashion, to be the author of, or the cause.
bb She wold be stigmatized through no fault of her own!
cc Who did Jesus defend, the husband or the wife?
d Today, the church often takes the role of the Pharisees by condemning the innocent party.
a A man is married, faithful to his wife, she cheats on him/leaves him/divorces him . . . he’s innocent!
b Sorry, sir. You can’t be a pastor, deacon. You’re divorced. In light of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, I don’t know if Jesus would agree with that. He sided with the victim/innocent.
2 Matthew 5:28 (NASB) 28 but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
a If we applied this passage even-handedly, every person who has ever looked upon another person other than his/her spouse w/ desire is an adulterer, and therefore disqualified from ministry/ deaconship. (Of course, not practiced.)
b The fact is clear: adultery can be forgiven . . . it’s not the unpardonable sin.
c Without a doubt, not a person reading v. 28, could plead innocent in the face of Jesus’ interpretation.
III Sexual unfaithfulness: A legitimate cause for divorce.
A Jesus faced Pharisees who desired to justify their actions against their wives (Matt. 19.3-9.)
Matthew 19:3-9 (NASB) 3 Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?" 4 And He answered and said, "Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, 5 and said, 'FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH'? 6 "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." 7 They *said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND her AWAY?" 8 He *said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. 9 "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."
1 Jesus affirms God’s ideal for marriage.
a God created the man with the woman to form a union.
b The sexual union between a man & woman was considered the consummation of marriage.
c 1 Corinthians 6:15-20 (NASB) 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be! 16 Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, "THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH." 17 But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. 18 Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? 20 For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.
aa Sexual unfaithfulness was viewed as a type (albeit counterfeit) of marriage.
bb Adultery/fornication was/is a mockery of what God intended intimacy to be.
2 Jesus rebukes them for the hardness of their hearts (Matt. 19.8.)
Matthew 19:8 (NASB) 8 He *said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.
a Be careful of people with strong convictions but lack compassion . . . they are hiding something!
b God’s displeasure at the people’s callous attitudes are obviouse.
3 Jesus gives a valid reason for divorce (Matt. 19.9).
Matthew 19:9 (NASB) 9 "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."
a Bitter truth!
aa If you divorce your spouse for any reason other than adultery/unfaithfulness, only to remarry, you are now committing adultery in your remarriage. (THIS POINT WILL BE CLEARER TONIGHT, PLEASE GET THE COMPLETE TEACHING)
bb (There wasn’t a valid reason for divorce in the first place.)
cc If your spouse was unfaithful, you can divorce & remarry.
b Bitter truth is still a clear principle: If your spouse has cheated on you, you remarry, that remarriage is not considered adulterous.
B Adultery doesn’t mean divorce is automatically pursued.
1 Forgiveness/restoration are possible & should be considered before any divorce.
2 An innocent mate should realize that a promiscuous partner is putting his/her own health at risk (AIDS, STD’s.)
a In the cases where a life-threatening lifestyle & perversion are evident, divorce is not out of order.
b At least not in Scripture
IV The Goose & the Gander
A Mark 10.11-12, Mark affirms what we assume about Biblical principles applying equally to men & women.
Mark 10:11-12 (NASB) 11 And He *said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; 12 and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery."
1 Luke 16.14-18, we see the Pharisees’ own confusion towards divorce.
Luke 16:14-18 (NASB) 14 Now the Pharisees, who were lovers of money, were listening to all these things and were scoffing at Him. 15 And He said to them, "You are those who justify yourselves in the sight of men, but God knows your hearts; for that which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God. 16 "The Law and the Prophets were proclaimed until John; since that time the gospel of the kingdom of God has been preached, and everyone is forcing his way into it. 17 "But it is easier for heaven and earth to pass away than for one stroke of a letter of the Law to fail. 18 "Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery.
a The adultery exception is not mentioned here at it was in Matthew 19.1, it is still implied.
b There are three notable words in the original language that are worth mentioning.
aa v.18, “divorce” NASB/ “putteth away” KJV (Present active participle); one who is repeatedly putting away a wife . . . divorced again, again, and again.
bb v.18, “another”, lit. another of a different kind; another woman other than his wife catches his eye. (His wife is innocent, yet she and her future husband will be stigmatized as adulterers because of the hardness of her adulterer husband.)
cc v.18b, “her husband” KJV, talks of the promiscuous woman who goes from husband to husband; she has been put away for her unfaithfulness; commits adultery indicates repeated marriages.
c Principle: Men & women who habitually break marital vows with infidelity are seen as destroyers of God’s ideal.
2 What was the reason Jesus allowed for divorce to happen?
a Jesus thought that a person dissolves his/her marriage by creating a sexual union with someone other than their marriage partner.
b Gen. 2, God gave Adam one wife, not many, and He declared that the two were one flesh; sacred “oneness” intended by God when He brought them into the first marriage.
Genesis 2:21-25 (NASB) 21 So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. 22 The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. 23 The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." 24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
aa Infidelity, adultery, divorce violently pulls apart what God had “sewn” together (Mal. 2.16, KJV.)
Malachi 2:16 (KJV) 16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
bb Today, we put rings on our spouses fingers, in Ancient Israel they would put the corner of the garment over their spouse (Ezek. 16.8; Ruth 3.9.)
Ezekiel 16:8 (NASB) 8 "Then I passed by you and saw you, and behold, you were at the time for love; so I spread My skirt over you and covered your nakedness. I also swore to you and entered into a covenant with you so that you became Mine," declares the Lord GOD.
Ruth 3:9 (NASB) 9 He said, "Who are you?" And she answered, "I am Ruth your maid. So spread your covering over your maid, for you are a close relative."
cc If a man divorced his wife, the garment meant to symbolize love turned to violence. . . tore apart what God intended to stay together in the sacred “oneness.”
c When a marriage partner is sexually unfaithful, the divorce reflects the fact that the marriage is already broken.
aa A man who divorces his wife because she’s been unfaithful doesn’t make her an adulteress by divorcing her, she already was one by being unfaithful.
bb Divorce on the grounds of adultery usually frees the innocent partner to remarry w/o incurring the guild to adultery (Matt. 19.9.)
cc However, this is sometimes confused/questioned.
B Although Jesus allowed divorce for adultery, He didn’t require it.
1 He insisted that divorce disrupts God’s plan for marriage & left the way open for repentance and forgiveness.
2 God’s plan for marriage is one man, one woman, for one lifetime.
a Is it legal to divorce your spouse for whatever reason you want? Yes. Is it biblical/scriptural to do so? No.
b Divorce for any other reason other than those given in Scripture, although legal, grieves the heart of God.
Conclusion:
A I know this message on divorce & remarriage was tough on those who have went through divorce or are contemplating getting divorced.
1 God clearly wants marriage to be one man, one woman, becoming one flesh, and God being a partner in that union!
a Marriage is a physical union “one flesh” and can be broken for physical causes.
aa Death (Rom. 7.1-3)
Romans 7:1-3 (NASB) 1 Or do you not know, brethren (for I am speaking to those who know the law), that the law has jurisdiction over a person as long as he lives? 2 For the married woman is bound by law to her husband while he is living; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law concerning the husband. 3 So then, if while her husband is living she is joined to another man, she shall be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from the law, so that she is not an adulteress though she is joined to another man.
bb Sexual sin (Matt. 19.9)
Matthew 19:9 (NASB) 9 "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."
cc Desertion (1 Cor. 7.12-16)
1 Corinthians 7:12-16 (NASB) 12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. 15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
b Adultery rips the fabric of the sacred oneness violently apart. . . . sometimes it’s irreparable.
2 God hates divorce, but He doesn’t hate the divorce’.
Notice to Sermon Central Users:
My name is Mike Fogerson, and I pastor a Southern Baptist Church in Chester, Illinois. I have been a long-time user of Sermon Central and truly appreciate its content and contributors. Some of the best sermons I’ve ever preached have been reworked material from this website. As you use the material from my sermon bank, understand that it is work that has been done from not just myself, but from hundreds of other pastors as well. If you see part of your message, or a bunch of your message with my name on it and this upsets you, please email me and I will quickly respond and cite you as the main source. My intent is not to claim someone’s work as my own. I am disclaiming up front that I use the resources from Sermon Central and appreciate the tool. I simply want all those who use my work to know that some of these messages were inspired by the Holy Spirit working through other pastors. Because I do use the messages of other pastors I waive all claims of originality or origin of creativity for the messages posted under my messages. I pray God blesses your preaching ministry for the glory of His Kingdom.
Respectfully,
Mike Fogerson
