WHAT MUST I DO? SEEK PEACE WITH ONE ANOTHER
1 PETER 3:8-17
Big idea: Living in harmony requires us to check our tongue, watch our step, and mind our manners.
SERIES INTRO
We are asking ourselves “What Must I Do?” and looking at the New Testament for answers. We have discovered that “Whatever God’s Word says I MUST do, God knows I CAN do!”
Paul said: “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)
Jesus said, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)
It is with the confidence of Christ’s help that we approach these Biblical charges.
SERMON INTRO
Kathy * posted a very interesting and pertinent quote on her FaceBook page recently. It comes from Chris Seay’s book, “The Gospel According to Jesus.”
You can’t say to Jesus, “Hey, Jesus, you and I have this great intimate personal relationship, but I am just not into your people. They are too much work. Very needy. They don’t keep their word and they wear too much makeup.” Well, you would be right on some fronts. Jesus’ people are not perfect. They are broken, they will disappoint you, but they will also inspire you. They will fail you, but they will also love you. If you love Jesus and want to be a part of Jesus’ reign, it also means that you are part of Jesus’ (broken people). Welcome to the family.
If there was ever a quote that got to the heart of current conversations here at the Naz it is that one. We are discovering that we are all broken. I preach to you week after week as an “unfinished soul” and you minister to each other week after week as unfinished souls. And yet, by the power and presence of the Holy Spirit, we have the potential to genuinely inspire and experience transformation.
One of the challenges that we, God’s people, have in loving, understanding and accepting one another is the fact that we are all flawed and it is easy to focus on each other’s flaws.
I think that is one reason why every New Testament author seems to stress and re-stress the need for God’s people to love each other … because it’s not always easy.
But it is always worth it.
Listen to Peter’s words from 1 Peter 3:8-17. Notice the three “must” statements we find in the text.
1 PETER 3:8-17
8 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10 For, "Whoever would love life and see good days MUST keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. 11 He MUST turn from evil and do good; he MUST seek peace and pursue it. 12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil." 13 Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened."15 But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 17 It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.
The power of harmony
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another;
I wonder; do you think Peter might have been thinking of the many Brou-hah-hahs that he had seen in Jesus’ church in its few short years of existence when he wrote those words?
• Peter and Paul had a dust-up in Antioch over how Peter treated different people groups differently.
• Peter certainly knew of the polarizing moment between Paul and Barnabas when they could not see through their differences and had to part ways.
• Maybe Peter was thinking back even further, like when the 12 were debating over who was the greatest.
• Or even right after Jesus’ resurrection when he became more concerned about the marching orders Jesus was going to give John than carrying out the marching orders Jesus had given him (to feed his sheep).
I wonder if Peter was wondering if Jesus’ church had learned any lessons yet.
In any case, Peter sees it important to tell his church; Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another.
Have you noticed that the letters to the churches in the New Testament are to less-than-perfect churches? The words I quoted from Chris Seay’s earlier speak volumes. “If you love Jesus and want to be a part of Jesus’ reign, it also means that you are part of Jesus’ (broken people). Welcome to the family.”
Harmony is always desirable but when human beings are involved it can become a challenge to achieve. That can be true in any relationship including the church. Harmony seems a lot like chemistry to me. If you mix together a bunch of compounds that you’ve never worked with before may get a nice perfume, a new cure for cancer, or a mushroom cloud. The chemistry involved when a diverse group’s experiences, perceptions, and understandings are thrown into a “test tube” together can be just as interesting.
It is, however, possible for God’s people to achieve harmony. When we introduce the Holy Spirit and God’s Word to the “test tube” the result can be beautiful; and a powerful agent for wholeness and healing.
In fact, if the church is going to have an impact on the world, it must demonstrate to the world the reality of its faith. It can only do that when Christian virtues are lived out by the members of the Body of Christ. One of the most important and most observable is harmony. Galatians 5:15 states that “…if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!” Harmony is critical both to church survival and outreach.
Harmony is defined as follows:
1: Agreement in feeling or opinion
2: A pleasing combination of elements in a whole.
3. Mutual understanding: accord, agreement, concord, rapport, tune, unity.
In music, as I understand it, harmony is a group of notes played together that support the melody and give the music texture or mood.
Harmony does not happen when every one sings the same note but everyone must be singing the same song. Harmony is not every church member being identical to the person next to them. But it is everyone choosing to “be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult …”
Harmony is unity of thought, belief and mission, not the loss of individualism.
In Peter’s passage he gives us three “must” statements that can help a church or family, (or probably any organization) achieve Christian harmony.
1. CHECK YOUR TONGUE (V. 10)
Whoever would love life and see good days MUST keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech.
The framework of what is being discussed here is relational. When Peter says to keep your tongue from “evil” is is intended to be applied relationally. The word “hurtful” must be understood as central to his meaning.
I sometimes wish God had created my tongue with a five second delay. But he did not, it is my responsibility as a disciple of Jesus to submit my tongue to God’s glory and discipline myself.
As an unfinished soul, I often feel the chastening of what I say or how it is said. Just as a single off pitch note can disrupt harmony in a chorale or choir, so a single misspoken word can disrupt harmony within relationships.
Colossians 4:6 says, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
Ephesians 4:5 tells us to “speak the truth in love” so that we may all grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.
There is a huge gap between the ideal and the real in most relationships. It will be that way until we are with Jesus. It is always easier to find fault (and share that fault) than it is to look deep within the relationship and look at the transformation that is happening there. Once a critical or opinionated word is out it takes on a life of its own and, as we have all experienced I am sure, that event grows and erodes into something even more sinister and more corrupt than it originally was.
In my observation that is where spiritual warfare is often so effective for the enemy. He takes a word, a phrase, or a rumor and lets it grow to cause discord, hurt feelings and false scenarios.
I never ceased to be amazed at how many times we take up an offense for someone else based upon hearsay. We take positions and judge people and their motives based upon what someone else has said and so many times what we have heard is not what really happened.
The Church in Corinth was a church without harmony and Paul speaks to this point. He reminds them that the discord comes from the evil one.
“Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.”
(2 Corinthians 2:10-11)
There is an old adage in the military that says, “The first report is always wrong.” We, God’s people, would be wise to heed that maxim and make sure we have heard the whole truth before casting judgment.
Proverbs 18:17 says, “The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him.”
I am trying to be very loving and careful with my words these days.
I am also trying to be very diligent in what I hear and how I hear it too. I believe strongly in giving people the benefit of the doubt when things are said that might come across hurtful.
Would you join me in doing the same?
In Jeff Manion’s book, “The land between” he says,
The heart drifts toward complaint as if by gravitational pull—after all, complaint seems a reasonable response to a sequence of disappointing events. Generally, you don't have to extend an invitation for complaint to show up. It arrives as an uninvited guest. … Even as you seek to dislodge complaint—as you move its bags to the curb and change the locks—it crawls back through the guest room window. Complaint resists eviction.
Before we know it, complaint feels right because it is familiar. With every struggle, we become the Israelites murmuring in the desert. We miss the faith lessons. God desires to prepare us and build things into us, but we are hunkered down in our pattern of response. We need to wake up and notice what is happening! How do we evict that spirit of complaint?
I have heard it said that "bad movement pushes out good movement" and "good movement pushes out bad movement." We can discourage complaint's residency in our lives by inviting another guest to move in with us. That new guest is trust. When we choose to trust in the face of deep disappointment, complaint has less space to maneuver. … Trust evicts complaint. Trust and complaint are incompatible roommates. One inevitably pushes the other one out.
If you wish to be in harmonious relationships you must:
1. CHECK YOUR TONGUE (V. 10)
2. WATCH YOUR STEP (V. 11)
He MUST turn from evil and do good.
Again, evil and good are placed within a relational framework here. This is about how we treat each other. The word “turn” means “to eschew, to avoid, to go out of your way not to do something.” The language used is intentional. It’s about our behavior. He is telling them to stop hurting each other and start blessing each other.
Have you ever seen the Movie “Fire Proof” with Kirk Cameron?
Spoiler alert …
It’s about a fireman named “Caleb Holt.” Caleb lives by the motto "Never leave your partner behind" when it comes to his men at the fire station but his marriage with Catherine is suffering and she wants a divorce. Differing life priorities have led their marriage to a breakdown. She complains that he is addicted to internet porn; she views his saving money for a boat of his dreams as selfish, thinking that the money should be used to provide her ailing mother's medical equipment. Caleb feels respect from everyone except his own wife, who he says does not value him.
Well, Caleb's father, John, challenges him to commit to a 40-day "Love Dare" which is a Christian devotional program designed to strengthen marriages. “Love Dare” gives you a scripture passage and a brief devotion and then “dares” you to do a particular loving act each day.
For example: Day #1’s love dare is as follows: “For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It’s better to hold your tongue than to say something you’ll regret.”
Well, Caleb reluctantly agrees to try it, and begins following the program in an attempt to win Catherine back. It is not easy and there are many hurdles but Caleb carries through with his father’s 40-day challenge. He begins doing more household chores and errands. He leaves her more expensive beautiful roses and even smashes his computer to remove its temptations.
Long story short, the loving acts rekindle the love in both Caleb and Catherine. They renew their vows and, in the most important human relationship of all, no partner is left behind.
(Source: Wikipedia)
I think that is what Peter is getting at. He is telling the church to stop hurting each other and start blessing each other.
What if our congregation took a “40 day love dare?” What if we went to those with whom there is tension and talked about it a bit and then, for each Sunday between now and the end of the year we did something kind for the other party or parties.
• Maybe placing a small note in their church mail box telling them we prayed for them this week.
• Maybe slipping them a gift certificate to a restaurant.
• Maybe volunteering to watch their kids for an evening.
• Maybe sitting next to them in church.
• Maybe mailing them a card.
• Be creative – make your own list.
I’m not very good at starting such programs but man I would shout glory if this began to happen.
WRAP-UP
1. CHECK YOUR TONGUE (V. 10)
2. WATCH YOUR STEP (V. 11)
3. MIND YOUR MANNERS (V. 11)
He MUST seek peace and pursue it.
Seeking peace is a proactive and assertive command. To seek peace means to chase, pursue, stalk, hunt, and be obsessed with it. It cannot be passive. It requires YOU to make the first steps. YOU must initiate the relationship and, if necessary, the reconciliation.
Forgiveness
In 2005, Journalist Jay Evensen wrote a piece in the Desert Morning News (a newspaper in Bedford, Iowa). He titled it … "Forgiveness has Power to Change the Future"
He wrote about Victoria Ruvolo, a 44-year-old collection agency manager, and 19-year-old Ryan Cushing. Mr. Cushing and his friends stole a credit card and then took off on a shopping spree.
They stole a 20-pound frozen turkey and proceeded to throw it from their speeding vehicle headlong into the windshield of the automobile driven by Victoria Ruvolo. The result: Victoria underwent surgery for six hours as metal plates and other pieces of hardware were fitted together in an effort to rebuild her face.
The prosecutor in Ruvolo's case stated that for crimes such as this one, victims often "feel no punishment is harsh enough." In fact, "Death doesn't even satisfy them," the attorney stated.
How did Victoria react to what had happened to her? She was primarily concerned with "salvaging the life of her 19-year-old assailant." She did not seek revenge in any way. She sought information about the youth and how he was raised, insisting that he be offered a plea deal. He could plead guilty to second-degree assault, be put in the county jail for six months and placed on one year's probation. Or, he would be sent to prison for 25 years, returning to society middle-aged with no job skills or prospects.
According to Evensen, "this is only half the story. The rest of it, what happened the day this all played out in court, is the truly remarkable part."
The young man walked "carefully and tentatively" to where his victim was seated in the courtroom. With tears and in a whisper he apologized, "I'm so sorry for what I did to you." He and Victoria embraced, both weeping. She stroked his head, patted him on the back, and comforted him. "It's OK," she said. "I just want you to make your life the best it can be." It was reported that "hardened prosecutors, and even reporters, were choking back tears."
The editor concluded: "Slowly, humans seem to be learning to understand the power of forgiveness. As a healing agent, it appears to be stronger than any surgery, counseling or anger-management course."
Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.” (Matthew 5:9)
Jesus also said, “A house divided against itself cannot stand” (Mark 3:25).
I guess the choice is ours as to which we choose to verify. But you can’t verify both at the same time.
John Wesley is credited with two words of advice that inform and challenge us to seek peace.
• “We should be rigorous in judging ourselves and gracious in judging others.”
• “In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; and in all things, charity.”
8 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10 For, "Whoever would love life and see good days MUST keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. 11 He MUST turn from evil and do good; he MUST seek peace and pursue it.
How far are you willing to go to bring harmony in your relationships?
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This sermon is provided by Dr. Kenneth Pell
Potsdam Church of the Nazarene
Potsdam, New York
www.potsdam-naz.org
