Building Relationships
Luke 15:1-10 and Acts 8:26-40
In our Scriptures today, we see two encounters, which lead to making disciples. The first is when Jesus has a group of tax collectors and sinners who have gathered to hear him talk. Tax collectors were some of the most hated people in Jesus’ day because they were thought to be crooks. Yet this doesn’t stop Jesus because these are the types of people that Jesus came to save. And what was the religious leaders response? “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.” In fact, Jesus spent most of his time with sinners rather than the religious. This encounter and Jesus’ ministry to such folks teaches us that lost people matter to God. All of us are surrounded by people just like the tax collectors and sinners, people who are far from God. They’re in our neighborhoods, our families, our churches and our workplaces. They may have tried to be religious, maybe even prayed, read the Bible, or even gone to church at one time. But something is still missing: a connection to and relationship with Jesus. One of the keys to making disciples is building relationships.
In our second Scripture passage, Philip encounters an Ethiopian official who served as the Secretary of Finance for his government. As an Ethiopian diplomat, he would have had everything in the world at his fingertips and yet there was something missing in his life. That led him on a search for God. From this encounter, we discover eight vital lessons about building relationships and making disciples. First, go where the people are. “Now an angel of the Lord said to Philip, “Go south to the road—the desert road—that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.” If you want to make disciples, you have to go where the people are. Philip was sent to Samaria, a place where every Jew was forbidden to go, to a deserted stretch of road, for a chance encounter with an Ethiopian on a search for God. God sent Philip to the place where people needed salvation. We need to go where the people are as well, whether that be at the park, the mall or your neighborhood. God didn’t say the whole world needs to go to church, he said the church needs to go to the world. We need to remember that we are a sent people so “Go!”
Second, obey the Spirit’s leading. “The Spirit told Philip, “Go to that chariot…” A lot of us think the Spirit never speaks to you. But today I want you to consider that the Spirit speaks regularly to you and maybe we’re not listening well. Some of us allow the voice of the Spirit to be drowned out. The Spirit can speak in any number of ways: through dreams, Scripture, a thought or impulse, another person or even in the midst of our circumstances. The best way to ensure that you’re going to hear the Spirit’s leading is to begin each day with a simple prayer, “O God, lead me that I may do your will and help me to be responsive to it.” The Spirit leads Philip to travel 80 miles by foot and what did he do? He seized the moment because he had already determined God was going to lead his life and ministry. We need to decide ahead of time that we are going to obey the Spirit’s leading so that when it comes, we respond!
Third, approach with tact. Notice that Philip didn’t go up to the guy and say, “Are you saved?” Instead, he sought to establish dialogue. Tact is defined as saying the right thing at the right time to open discussion. Unfortunately, this skill is lacking in too may Christians. Too often, Christians come off judgmental and condemning when encountering someone disconnected from God. That never opens up somebody for a conversation. Instead, we need to remember that we are talking to someone just like us who has hungers and pains and problems and is seeking the meaning and purpose of life. When speaking with them, watch your language! Avoid church talk like salvation, redemption, justification or even grace. Speak using words as if they have never been exposed to the Christian faith. Don’t preach. Speak to them as a friend.
Fourth, show them you care. “Then Philip ran up to the chariot and heard the man reading Isaiah the prophet. “Do you understand what you are reading?” Philip asked. Notice that Philip didn’t casually stroll but showed his excitement and interest by running up to the chariot. And Philip immediately noticed this man’s spiritual hunger. This man not being of Jewish origin was a Gentile and had come to believe in the God of the Jews. This meant he was a god fearer, one who followed the laws of the Jewish faith but were not allowed in the Temple. They worshipped from the outside looking in. So while included, they were also outsiders. Philip sees this man reading from the prophet Isaiah so he asks him about it. To show someone you care doesn’t means you have involve spiritual things. It can involve anything in their life which they care about: their career, someone sick in their family, their spouse, their kids, a hobby, whatever. Just show your interest in them and what they care about and let it be genuine.
Fifth, spend time with them. “The Spirit told Philip, “Go to that chariot and stay near it.” In other words, proximity and time are the foundation to building relationships. You can’t do it alone through pda, Facebook, texting or email. You’ve got to have proximity and spend time together. And Philip got the opportunity: “So he (the Eunuch) invited Philip to come up and sit with him” to spend some time with him. And so he did. Jesus did the same when he had dinner with the sinners and tax collectors. In Jesus’ day, dinner was an evening long affair. It wasn’t a quick bite. So Jesus was stopping and spending a significant amount of time with these people. By doing so, he was saying you matter! An invitation to spend time with someone is an invitation into someone’s life. Last week we learned that making disciples takes time. Developing relationships takes time too. This may be one of the most challenging things for us in making disciples. There are no such things as microwave or fast food Christians. It takes time. The problem is all of us are overcommitted in our lives and our relationships are suffering as a result. Close friends are rare today. Most of our “close relationships” are more like acquaintances these days. To make disciples, you’re going to have to invest in relationships and that means time. That means you’re probably going to make the time in your life.
Sixth, establish common ground. Philip took the time to assess the Ethiopian’s situation and relate to him as a person, not just another potential convert. Here was a man reading Isaiah 53, an unusual experience to say the least to see a Gentile reading the Jewish Scriptures, and Philip offered to explain it to him. As he did, he began to ask questions and got to know this man. You’ve got talk to people, really talk to them beyond the weather, the Saints, food or any other superficial thing and talk to them about life, their hopes, their dreams, their struggles and their needs. Then you will gain some insight into their life and hear about the best way to minister to him and to share the Gospel. In conversation, unexpected doors of opportunity can open as you learn more about that person. They need to know that before they will ever care what we have to say. Many times, to understand a person you have to not only listen but as the old saying goes, “walk a mile in their shoes.”
Paul found that he needed to become like the people he was trying to reach. “To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel…” In these words, Paul is saying rather than judging or trying to change people, we need to accept people where they are but don’t get dragged into their bad habits. This is the risk we take in reaching out to people far from God but it is a risk the Gospel calls us to take. Get as close to them as you can while still living as Christ. Then by your life and your words, you can begin to show them there’s a different way to live.
Seventh, join in the spiritual journey together. This is where your relationship with the person takes a spiritual turn. You move from hanging out, doing fun things together and enjoying one another’s company to have some spiritual conversation and beginning a spiritual journey together. “The eunuch asked Philip, “Tell me, please, who is the prophet talking about, himself or someone else?” Then Philip began with that very passage of Scripture and told him the good news about Jesus. As they traveled along the road…” Now starting a spiritual journey together can sound like a frightening thing. How can I do that? Well, it can be as simple as inviting someone to attend church, a Bible study or even an outreach event with you. Essentially, you are looping them into your spiritual journey where you can travel together on the road to being a disciple.
The second thing you can do is invite them into a discipling relationship. We mentioned this last week but it bears sharing again. In this discipling relationship, you walk together through a resource introducing the Christian faith and what it means to live for Jesus like Greg Ogden’s resource, “Discipleship Essentials: A Guide to Building Your Life in Christ. Don’t offer to disciple them, that’ll probably scare them away. Instead, just say, I’m reading this book and wanted to know if you might like to read it with me and we can discuss it. You become mutual travelers on the road to discipleship of living like Jesus and growing into him. In the course of this experience, you have the opportunity to allow others to peer into your life of living for Jesus, your victories and challenges of living for Jesus and even sharing your own personal faith story and the difference Christ has made in your life.
Eighth, guide them to a decision. Everything that Philip had done and said with the Ethiopian eunuch was geared toward leading them to a decision for Christ. That’s what happens when you are exposed to the Truth. It always leads us to make a decision, one way or the other. Notice that Philip didn’t ask for a decision, it was the eunuch who asked to be baptized. Sometimes we can have the opportunity to ask people and other times when we have invested in the lives of others, they ask us if they can be baptized. When we find spend time with people, show them we care, find common ground, build relationship with them and share in the spiritual journey with them, we can experience the joy and have the blessing of seeing them give their life to Christ and gain a brother or sister for eternity as we make disciples who make disciples.
Edward Kimball was ordinary Christ who worked in a shoe store. He had been developing a friendship with a co-worker when one day he got up enough courage to share his faith. That day, Dwight Moody gave his life to Christ, you know him as DL Moody, who became one of the great preachers of the 19th century. One day DL was preaching and Frederick Meyer gave his life to Christ. He established a nationwide preaching ministry. Frederick Meyer was preaching one day and a young man named Wilbur Chapman gave his life to Christ. He became an evangelist and soon needed help so he invited a former baseball player named Billy Sunday to come preach with him. One day, Billy Sunday was preaching in Charlotte, NC and he invited an unknown preacher named Mordecai Hamm to preach. On the final night of that revival as Mordecai Hamm preached a young think man by the named of Billy Frank came forward and gave his life to Christ. You know him as Billy Graham who has preach to more people than anyone in history, all because of a shoe salesman who took a risk and shared his faith.
We don’t celebrate the Edward Kimballs of the world. We remember the DL Moodys, the Billy Sundays and the Billy Grahams. But this we know, no one has ever come to faith in Jesus Christ apart from another person sharing their faith in Jesus. Why didn’t God just appear to the Ethiopian? Because God has chosen to work through people like you and me. He has chosen to entrust the most precious message of the world, the Gospel, and the most important work in history, the salvation of the world, in our hands. He has promised to be with us and has given us the power of the Holy Spirit to proclaim it. The only question is, “So what are you going to do with it?” and “Who are you going to begin building a life transforming relationship with today?”
