INTRODUCTION
• PC VIDEO
• SLIDE #1
• Ouch! Conflict can be and is always painful in some way. Conflict can take an emotional, spiritual and as in our video clip, a physical toll on you.
• Conflict can destroy relationships, organizations, teams, teeth, and families.
• Today I want us to us through a three-part mini-series on the issue of being a peacemaker or put another way how to deal with the issue of conflict.
• Today we will explore three principles that can help us to prevent conflict before it begins.
• Prevention is the best method of avoiding the pain and aftermath of conflict. Once we get into a conflict, we can fix the situation, but the pain caused by the conflict can last much longer than the actual conflict.
• The context of the passage today deals with unity in the church. The principles we will explore can help us to prevent conflicts before they can inflict their damage.
• Let’s turn to Ephesians together and our examination will begin with verse 1 and 2 from chapter 4.
• SLIDE #2
• Ephesians 4:1–2 (ESV) 4 I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,
• SLIDE #3
SERMON
I. Strive to make sure your conduct reflects your special calling. (1-2)
• Many conflicts start because someone wants their way no matter what the cost or no matter what methods they need to use.
• Some conflicts turn into search and destroy missions. In the midst of conflict it is easy to forget who we serve, it is easy to focus on what we want and forget about the fact that we are ambassadors for Christ.
• Paul in his plea to maintain unity begins with reminding us who we serve and then urges us to make sure we walk in a manner worthy of our special calling in Christ.
• The word urge comes from a word that means to “come along side of.”
• The root of the word is used when Jesus speaks in reference to the coming of the Holy Spirit.
• SLIDE #4
• John 16:7 (ESV) Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you.
• The word URGE also gives us a flavor of the word not being something that is optional. It is a mandatory plea, an appeal for folks to come along side of each other or to join forces to see that we do what God has called us to do.
• The word denotes a stirring call to action.
• We are being urged to make sure that the way we live matches the call we have from God to live for Him.
• We are urged to walk in a manner WORTHY of the calling to which we have been called.
• This word WORTHY has interesting meaning in the original text.
• It speaks of balance as on a set of scales.
• In our context on one side of the scales is the manner in which God calls us to live and on the other side of the scale is the way we actually live.
• We are to live in balance with our calling.
• We need to realize that we are called to a VERY HIGH STANDARD by God and we are called to strive to reach that lofty standard even when the standard seems out of reach, God’s standard for us is our goal.
• By the power of the Holy Spirit with in us and by God’s grace we can inch closer and closer to being able to live our lives in balance where our walk matches our talk!
• One of the ways we WILL prevent conflict and the subsequent damage that follows is to simply strive to conduct ourselves in such a way that our walk lines up with our calling.
• Too many times when someone or something gets in the way of what we want we are too quick to toss our faith aside. It is easy to do; I have to fight the same temptation.
• We are in this together so we can help one another stay strong!
• As a reminder, Paul shares verse 2 with us. In verse 2 we are given a glimpse of what a worthy walk should resemble.
• I want to do a short overview of each of these traits, and as we look at them, it because evident as to why making these traits the focus of our life will help us to prevent conflict.
• It starts with HUMILITY.
• Humility as I have stated before was not a trait that was not valued in Paul’s day, it was attributed to an attitude of a slave.
• Christianity brought the true meaning to the word. Humility is not looking down on yourself and seeing others a more worthy or valuable that yourself, but rather it is understanding that you are valuable before God, BUT ALSO OTHER PEOPLE HAVE THE SAME VALUE BEFORE GOD.
• It also entails accepting God’s authority over your life instead of acting like you are in supreme control of your life.
• A person who is humble will also order their life in such a manner where they serve God in part by serving others!
• Humility helps one to see the value of others and it helps one allow God to have His proper place in one’s life.
• Gentleness is another mark of the worthy walk. Gentleness is not weakness but rather it is power under control.
• Many times we will start a conflict with someone we know we can run over.
• Gentleness is followed by PATIENCE.
• The essence of patience is believing that God’s timetable is good no matter what it is.
• SLIDE #5
• Hebrews 6:15 (ESV) And thus Abraham, having patiently waited, obtained the promise.
• You see a lot of patience being displayed in the saints of the Old Testament!
• God made promises to Abraham and it took years and even generations for them to come to pass. Abraham trusted God’s timing even though at times he wavered.
• Then we see a final trait, BEARING WITH ONE ANOTHER IN LOVE.
• Bearing up is a willingness to put up with something or someone in a spirit of love.
• Really when you boil it down if we could just incorporate this first point into our lives, we would prevent many of the conflicts we deal with.
• Conflict usually happens when two or more people want what they want no matter what the cost.
• The calling we have from God is special and it behooves us to make sure we remember that whenever a potential conflict could arise.
• Let’s turn to verse 3 now.
• SLIDE #6
• Ephesians 4:3 (ESV) eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
• SLIDE #7
II. Do not seek conflict. (3)
• Sometimes we can go looking for a fight.
• When we go looking for a fight or a conflict we will usually find one.
• Job reminds us in Job 4:8
• SLIDE #8
• Job 4:8 (ESV) As I have seen, those who plow iniquity and sow trouble reap the same.
• When you go into a situation looking for a fight, you will come away with one.
• If you want to prevent conflict, do not look for it.
• Verse 3 reminds us to be EAGER to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
• The word EAGER stresses the thought of making EVERY EFFORT, to do so swiftly with deliberate effort.
• In the context we are called to eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit.
• This tells us within the context of the church, that God provides unity through the Holy Spirit and it is our job to maintain the unity.
• If we go into situations not looking to divide and conquer but instead look for ways to promote unity we will be able to avoid conflict.
• When you look at Washington we see a good example of folks on both sides looking for a fight so they can get their way instead of looking out for the good of the country.
• When we look for a conflict or seek conflict you may win the battle but ultimately the cost can be so high that you lose the war.
• Think about some of the conflicts you may have had at home, how many of those were pushed way too far because one or both of you were looking for a fight?
• It takes at least two in order for a conflict to happen, if you choose to take the high road or dare I say possibly be willing to give ground, and now I am going to really push the envelope, CONDUCT YOURSELF IN A MANNER WORTHY OF YOUR CALLING, I bet the results will be much better!
• SLIDE #9
• 2 Corinthians 13:11 (ESV) Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.
• Don’t look for conflict because you will find it!
• Let’s finish with verses 4-6
• SLIDE #10
• Ephesians 4:4–6 (ESV) 4 There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
• SLIDE #11
III. Understand your potential adversary is or could become family. (4-6)
• I know at times we can be hurt and we can hurt our family the most.
• But here is something to consider when we are contemplating going down the road of conflict.
• The person that is setting up to be your adversary may be a Christian.
• In verses 4-6 we see seven areas that untie Christians.
• The passage speaks for itself, so in short we need to know it does not make God happy when we get into conflict with people who belong to His family.
• We are all called with the same calling, serving the same God.
• Christians, we are family and a healthy family loves one another.
• Another issue that can give us reason to pause before we go on the offensive, the person you are about to engage may not be a Christian, but do you want them to be one day?
• You conflict could help keep them away from God.
• WE need to look at EVERYONE under one of two lights.
• They are either family (as in being in the family of God) or number two; we WANT to see them in the family!
CONCLUSION
• We are going to be better off if we can work though issues without getting into conflict.
• Conflict usually leaves various levels of pain and hurt.
• In all situations God has called us to conduct ourselves in a manner worthy of our calling!
• Next week we will look at how we can help people without hurting them.
