Living As A Godly Wife
Text: 1 Peter 3:1-6
Introduction
1. Illustration: All of the charms and beauty a woman may have amounts to nothing if her ambitions are self-centered. But if she reflects her creator and assumes the posture of a graceful servant, she cannot not help but command high respect and favor (Jeanne Hendricks).
2. So far in our study of 1 Peter we have examined how Peter instructs us to live right side up in an upside down world. Now, however, Peter is going to get more specific; gender specific.
3. The next two sections will discuss how women and men are to live right side up.
4. Today Peter shows us the...
a. Example of Submission
b. Example of Inner Beauty
c. Examples of the Past
Proposition: A godly wives beauty is seen in her inner character.
Transition: First we see the...
I. Example Of Submission (1-2).
A. In The Same Way
1. Often times in Scripture the simplest and shortest phrases carry the biggest impact.
2. This is certainly true in the opening conjunction of 1 Peter 3. Peter begins this chapter with, "In the same way..."
a. The phrase in the same way (or “likewise,” homoios) most likely referred to 2:13, “Accept all authority.”
b. While wives are to serve their husbands “in the same way” as slaves serve their masters, Peter was not saying that wives were slaves.
c. Instead, the wives’ service should have positive motives (“for the Lord’s sake,” 2:13) and should be consistent no matter what the attitude of the one in authority.
d. As with the other units in this section, the exhortation to submit in 3:1a is part of a larger pattern: living a holy life before unbelievers with the hope that such conduct will have a positive impact on them.
e. In Jewish perspective, while women were respected and protected in the laws, they were treated as inferior in most every way to men.
f. While it would be wrong to think that everything was bad for women in the Jewish world, it would not be wrong to think that their world was highly restrictive, patriarchal, and clearly debilitating to the development of their gifts.
g. What all of this means for our text is simple: Peter is urging the women of the Asia Minor churches to live a life that is respectable in society so that they will be able to maintain a good reputation for the gospel.
3. Peter then continues this idea by saying, "you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words."
a. Peter's injunction to Christian wives is that they conduct their lives so as to win their husbands to the Christian faith "without words" (McKnight, The NIV Application Commentary – 1 Peter, 181-183).
b. Christian wives were to accept the authority of their husbands in obedience to Christ to keep harmony in the family and to encourage unbelieving husbands to believe.
c. However, when both wife and husband were Christians, the woman should respect the God-given authority of her husband, while the husband exercised his authority in a loving and gentle manner.
d. For marriage and family relationships to run smoothly, there must be one appointed leader—and God has appointed the husband and father.
e. The wife should willingly follow her husband’s leadership in Christ, acknowledging that this is his responsibility.
f. Submission does not mean blind obedience, nor does it mean inferiority.
g. A wife who accepts her husband’s authority is accepting the relationship that God has designed and giving her husband leadership and responsibility (Barton, Life Application New Testament Commentary, 1114).
4. Then Peter says, "They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives."
a. Peter's point here is that the wife's godly behavior is the most valuable testimony to open the husband's heart to the gospel.
b. He will need to hear the words of salvation, perhaps from her.
c. But it will be as he is able to observe her submission as a faithful wife that she truly commends the gospel to him.
d. How a believer lives in that most intimate relationship helps make the grace of Christ believable (MacArthur, MacArthur New Testament Commentary – 1 Peter, 178).
B. Spirit of Willingness
1. "Love is giving up control. It’s surrendering the desire to control the other person. The two—love and controlling power over the other person—are mutually exclusive. If we are serious about loving someone, we have to surrender all the desires within us to manipulate the relationship."
― Rob Bell, Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections Between Sexuality and Spirituality
2. Submission is all about love; loving God and loving your husband God has given you.
a. Ephesians 5:24 (NLT)
As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
b. Submission is not about controlling or being controlled.
c. Submission is not about who's the boss.
d. Submission is not about demanding your own way.
e. Submission is about loving your husband because he is a gift to you from God.
f. Submission is about respecting your husband because he is a part of the plan that God has for your life.
Transition: Now Peter shows us the impact of character.
II. Example Of Inner Beauty (3-4).
A. Beauty That Comes From Within
1. In our society there is a lot of stress upon outward beauty.
a. Recently I did a Google search for "obsessed with glamour," and the search resulted in over 7,000,000 hits.
b. We are obsessed with how we look on the outside.
c. But Peter stresses that a godly wife's emphasis is to be beautiful on the inside.
2. He says, "Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes."
a. Having mentioned that women ought to have a life that is noted by "purity and reverence," Peter develops this lifestyle issue further by delving into the matter of appearance.
b. He contrasts external beauty with internal beauty.
c. Every culture has its own ideas of external beauty for women. Today, for example, the "ideal woman" is tall and thin, shapely, dressed in the latest of fashions (which change by seasons), and full of zest and confidence.
d. For Peter's day, the image was that of the woman with "braided hair," who wore "gold jewelry and fine clothes" —comments that might indicate some of Peter's churches contained women of wealth and standing.
e. Some have suggested that Peter's comments here actually prohibit Christian women of all ages from braiding their hair and wearing jewelry and fancy clothing, but the majority see a comparison of values: External appearance is relatively unimportant, but internal virtue is the prime pursuit of life.
f. Yet this interpretation ought not to lead to the view that Christian women can dress as they like; rather, Peter urges them to regard their external appearance as a secondary matter to personal beauty and to dissociate themselves from the cultural trend of that day to adorn themselves so as to attract attention (McKnight, 184).
3. In contrast, Peter says, women "should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God."
a. The virtues Peter praises are "the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."
b. The "quiet spirit" Peter enjoins here is that Christian wives avoid a cantankerous grumbling that would prevent a non-Christian husband from seeing God's grace and goodness in her behavior.
c. Such a beauty emerges from "your inner self," the hidden person, a person who has been transformed from the inside out by God's Spirit.
d. Such virtues are pleasing to God and have a powerful impact on unbelieving husbands (McKnight, 185).
B. The Inner You
1. "People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."
― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
2. Real beauty does not fade.
a. Proverbs 31:30 (NLT)
Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised.
b. Outer beauty is here today and gone tomorrow.
c. Outer beauty is dependent upon things like make up, fashion, and fitness.
d. But all of those things fade.
e. Inner beauty not only does not fade but increases with time.
f. Inner beauty is not dependent on external forces of nature, but only upon the love, grace and blessings of God.
Transition: Peter then brings all of this together by an...
III. Example Of The Past (5-6).
A. Women of Old
1. Peter demonstrates the benefits of submission, gentleness, and inner beauty by pointing to great women of faith from days gone by.
2. He says, "This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands."
a. Peter now legitimates his instructions to Christian wives about their good behavior by appealing to "the holy women of the past."
b. What is noticeable here is that Peter extends the instruction to include women who had believing husbands, showing that his instructions to submit are not just some pragmatic expedient (McKnight, 185).
c. The holy women of the past were both holy and beautiful, not because they lived perfect lives and had perfect looks, but because they trusted God.
d. Another ancient writer understood this: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised” (Proverbs 31:30).
e. These women trusted in God and knew how to submit to the authority God had established, by accepting the authority of their husbands (Barton, 1115).
3. Then Peter gives a specific example from the Old Testament. He says, "For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do."
a. Why did Peter use Sarah as an example? Sarah was considered the mother of God’s people (as Abraham was the father, according to God’s covenant promises.
b. Not only was Sarah an example to be followed because of her faithfulness to God and to her husband (she did submit to Abraham to have the child), but also because she was the mother of all believers—under the old covenant, the mother of the Jewish nation; under the new covenant, the mother of all who believe (Barton, 1115).
c. Wives who follow Sarah's pattern have made the commitment to do what is right or good, even though they might nevertheless have some serious fears as to where such submission under an unsaved husband could lead.
d. The Greek word for fear is ptoēsis, a strong word meaning “frightening,” or “terrifying.”
e. Instead of succumbing to such terrors, those who are faithful to submit because it is good and right can be used by the Lord in the salvation of their husbands (MacArthur, 180).
B. Living Illustrations
1. Illustration: A Pastor's wife, Grace Driscoll, writes, "Our ability to gain our husband’s trust and respect him in our journey toward godliness begins with our submission to God first! Our goal can’t be to fix our husband or make him respectable before we show respect. God is working on all of us, and when we seek how God wants our hearts and motives to change first, it will result in trusting God through our actions."
2. Is there an example of a godly woman in your life?
a. Maybe it's your Mother.
b. Maybe it's someone in the church.
c. Maybe it's another godly woman you know.
d. Learn from, and allow yourself to be mentored by her.
e. Spend time from her, and above all, pray with her.
Conclusion
1. Peter teaches wives about...
a. Example of Submission
b. Example of Inner Beauty
c. Examples of the Past
2. Ladies, are you allowing the Holy Spirit to mold you into a godly wife?
