3 for it is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; 6 and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. 7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 8 Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8
This morning I would like to present five ways and five whys to remain sexually holy.
3 for it is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality;
Sexual purity is God’s will.
For a follower of Jesus, that statement alone should be enough.
Yet for many Christians, sexual purity simply doesn’t appear on their radar-it is a foreign concept.
Many studies have been done on this subject. If you would like to track them down I suggest you visit a few sites and follow their links.
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2005/may/34.28.html
http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/285426/evangelicals-collapsing-sexual-mores-david-french
All the research reaches the same conclusion: Basically, Christians tend to follow the mores of society. If secular society is prudish about sexuality, Christians are as well. If secular society is promiscuous, Christians are as well.
But such should not be the case.
We are to live according to a standard set by God, not according the standards set by the world.
To be clear, the word here translated sexual is pornea-it is often thought to refer to pornography, and that, surely, is a part of what it should mean to us as modern readers. But the word is much more extensive than that. It means sex outside of marriage, and would include (but may not be limited to):
• Adultery
• Pornography (Jesus said to look on another to lust is the adultery of the heart)
• Sex with only one person you are not married to
• Taking off your clothes in the presence/view of another person
• Giving or receiving any kind of sexual pleasure with another person
All of these qualify as fornication. You want to know God’s will for your life? Part of it is that you would be holy, and holiness includes sexual purity-the avoidance of any form of sex outside of marriage. D.M. Martin said
I sometimes wonder why people would seek the will of God at a pivotal moment in life if they have been ignoring God’s will in their daily lives. (Commentary, pg. 121)
1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 begins and ends affirming and reaffirming this truth. God’s will is for us to be sanctified. To be sanctified is to be made holy. What is holiness?
To understand holiness, we must first understand that God is holy and what that means.
Numbers 20:12 Kadesh means holy.
Isaiah 6:1-9
4 that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God;
Holiness is not automatic. Unholiness is. We have to train ourselves in holy behavior. There is a method, a pattern to follow, a recommendation about how to obey God’s will. We are not left to fend for ourselves, or guess how it might be possible to keep such a counter-intuitive command. We are told why, then told how, then a combination of why & how.
The first part of knowing how to live a sexually holy life is to commit to progression. Vs. 3 begins with “for” in Greek (why it is missing in some translations mystifies me). Vs. 3, therefore, is an explanation of what came before-Paul is exhorting the Church to follow these guidelines “more and more”. Learning to become holy is a process which takes time. You become. You develop. You learn.
It is not something which necessarily happens all at once, as much as we might like it to—like a spell from a magician “abracadabra! You are Holy!!!” Our sanctification must be worked out as we become increasingly disciplined with our words, actions, intentions, thoughts, and the use of our eyes, and ears. We must intentionally move towards sanctification.
Some practical suggestions:
1. Don’t start!
• Job said “I’ve made a covenant with my eyes, that I might not sin against God”. “Friends” and devices may push you to look at things you know you should avoid. DON’T LOOK.
• Once you begin to awaking sexual desire it is much more difficult to stop. Stopping before you start is much easier.
The lady in the Song of Solomon tells her companions again and again
2:7 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires. (also, 3:5 & 8:4)
I believe this is one of the central themes of the Song—avoid awakening sexual desire until it’s time, until marriage. Otherwise you’ll face unneeded struggles.
2. If you started, already in the past, confess and commit to change.
3. Get into an accountability partnership (a male if you’re male, a female if your female, who can ask you difficult questions and with whom you can be honest).
4. If you are married, commit yourself, again, to finding sexual fulfillment in your spouse alone.
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure. . . Hebrews 13:4
This, of course, means the marriage bed is pure. It must be kept that way.
The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.
1 Corinthians 7:4-5
The Bible never refers to normal sex within marriage as a dirty thing. It is, in fact, the first thing God commands human beings to do (Genesis 1:28). Sexual fulfillment in marriage is designed for us by God and is a central element in His purpose for our lives.
5. Replace the destructive with the constructive.
a. Pray, fast, be silent, have times away from the busyness of Bangalore life, tithe/give. All of these spiritual disciplines work together to develop the character necessary for a life of purity. Through these disciplines we learn to control our body.
As Lauren Winner so eloquently stated:
In baptism, you have become Christ's body, and it is Christ's body that must give you permission to join his body to another body. In the Christian grammar, we have no right to sex. The place where the church confers that privilege on you is the wedding; weddings grant us license to have sex with one person. Chastity, in other words, is a fact of gospel life. In the New Testament, sex beyond the boundaries of marriage—the boundaries of communally granted sanction of sex—is simply off limits. To have sex outside those bounds is to commit an offense against the body. Abstinence before marriage, and fidelity within marriage; any other kind of sex is embodied apostasy. From Sex in the Body of Christ Chastity is a spiritual discipline for the whole church. by Lauren F. Winner-an excerpt published in Christianity Today (see link above)
6 and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him.
Sex outside of marriage wrongs and takes advantage of another person.
There are many reasons a person may commit to sexual purity. Among them are:
1. Promiscuity leads to a variety of diseases, including over 30 Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD’s) which are fatal if not treated-of these, HIV/AIDS is only one.
In 1996, the World Health Organization estimated that more than 1 million people were being infected daily. About 60% of these infections occur in young people less than 25 years of age, and of these 30% are less than 20 years. Between the ages of 14 and 19, STIs occur more frequently in girls than boys by a ratio of nearly 2:1; this equalizes by age 20. An estimated 340 million new cases of syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia and trichomoniasis occurred throughout the world in 1999.[27]
. . . At least one in four U.S. teenage girls has a sexually transmitted disease,[28] a CDC study found.[29] Among girls who admitted ever having sex, the rate was 40%.[30]
AIDS is the single largest cause of [death] in present-day Sub-Saharan Africa.[31] The majority of HIV infections are acquired through . . . sexual relations between partners . . . AIDS remains the leading cause of death among African American women between ages 25 and 34.[33] Hepatitis B is also classed as a sexually transmitted disease because it can be passed on sexually.[34] The disease is found globally, with the highest rates in Asia (including India) and Africa.[35] Worldwide, an estimated two billion people have been infected with the hepatitis B virus.[36] (from Wikipedia)
2. There are psychological benefits to monogamy-monogamous married couples live happier, healthier lives.
3. People of faith who are monogamous are more satisfied sexually than their promiscuous friends.
But,
4. More fundamentally, the Bible teaches that having sex with another person outside of the commitment of marriage is an abusive act. One of the most unloving things you can do is have sexual relations with someone to whom you are not married. God calls us to love.
5. Finally, sexual relations outside of marriage dishonors God.
The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. 7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 8 Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-7
God has given His Holy Spirit (once again-HOLY Spirit). We are to live a holy life because the Holy God lives in us. We have become united to Him. Anything we do in our body is done with a body which now belongs to Christ. God has set us aside as His dwelling place. We are His temple. The temple of God must not become a place of self-indulgence.
As R. C. Sproul famously quipped:
The Bible never says that God is love, love, love, or mercy, mercy, mercy, or wrath, wrath, wrath, or justice, justice, justice. It does say that He is holy, holy, holy, the whole earth is full of His glory. . . . We often describe God by compiling a list of qualities or characteristics that we call attributes. We say that God is a spirit, that He knows everything, that He is loving, just, merciful, gracious, and so on. The tendency is to add the idea of the holy to this long list of attributes as one attribute among many. But when the word holy is applied to God, it does not signify one single attribute. On the contrary, God is called holy in a general sense. The word is used as a synonym for his deity. That is, the word holy calls attention to all that God is. It reminds us that His love is holy love, his justice is holy justice, his mercy is holy mercy, his knowledge is holy knowledge, his spirit is Holy Spirit. (Holiness, pp. 25 & 40)
We are His people. We must, therefore, be holy, for the LORD our God is Holy.
