Hebrews 13:4 "Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery."
Our goal as followers including those of us who are married is to remain faithful. We started the series on Marriage and the Jesus follower by asking three questions from the teaching of Jesus designed to help us reflect on our mission as followers.
1. Do I love Jesus more than my stuff?
2. Is the family of God more important to me than my own?
3. Will I gladly leave my home behind to share the Gospel of Jesus with others?
We discussed how selfishness is a core motivator that keeps us from the mission of Jesus, and how this sin is a serious contributor to the breakdown of marriages and other relationships. Married individuals who are each centered on Jesus is a marriage that can answer these questions with a resounding YES.
Then last week we talked about our motive for doing religious stuff. We asked, "Why we do what we do?" If I bless my wife because I want something in return from her, does that prove I love her? Does she respond to that kind of manipulation in a positive way? Uh, the answer to that question is obvious. The same concept is true with our relationship in Jesus. When we come to Jesus because we want Him to meet our needs, we want to be saved, go to heaven, receive whatever blessing we're asking Him for at the time, we have the wrong motive. I do religious stuff not because of what God will do for me, but because the stuff I do are disciplines that help me see Jesus more clearly. I want more Jesus. Not more of what Jesus can do for me. It's impossible to be a follower of Jesus unless you have been changed, transformed from a selfish person to a selfless person. Jesus changes us. We don't change ourselves.
Let's take these ideas one step further. Hopefully your heart is at a place now where you've answered the three questions posed above in the affirmative. You love Jesus more than your stuff. You believe the family of God is more important than your own. And you are gladly willing to leave your home to share the Gospel of Jesus with others. Jesus is changing you. You don't do religious stuff like pray, read the Bible, go to church, take communion because you have to, or because it's a ritual you're used to, you do these things because they are disciplines that help you see Jesus more clearly. You learn more about the heart of Jesus, and you long to be with Him more and more.
Let's look at a marriage relationship. Paul says in Ephesians 5 that husbands are to love their wives as Jesus loves His church. He also concludes that when a man and a woman are united into one "it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one."
When a husband and a wife "come together as one" this process is what we call intimacy. What would you think of a marriage if you knew that one or both spouses had no desire for the other? Would you believe this marriage to be healthy? Why or why not? I'm pretty sure that in a marriage where one or both spouses have no passion for the other, this is not a healthy relationship. According to educated and experienced people who know such things, men have an incredibly powerful emotional need – his need to know that his wife desires him. In the book "Captivating - Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul", John and Stasi Eldredge write, "Your feminine heart has been created with the greatest of all possible dignities - as a reflection of God's own heart. You are a woman to your soul, to the very core of your being. And so the journey to discover what God meant when he created woman in his image...that journey begins with your heart. Another way of saying this is that the journey begins with desire."
Let's take a break here and talk about another way to illustrate intimacy. Let's say we're talking to a guy who is really passionate about hockey. How would you know that he's really into hockey? He would know a lot about the game, players, stats and he would be able to talk about it for some length. That makes sense right? If this same guy claims to be really passionate about hockey, but, doesn't know a whole lot about it, we would question, and rightly so, his 'passion'.
So with this idea in our heads what would you think about a husband who doesn't really know what turns his wife on? Or a wife who has no clue what her husband needs from her? Does it make sense to question their desire for each other? I think so. Now Paul says, that a husband should be just as clued into his wife's needs as Jesus is clued into what the church needs. This is desire; and desire is the beginning of intimacy.
I've heard many preachers, ministers and church leaders complain that many in our churches are Biblically illiterate. They think that many people don't know their Bible very well. I think that may be true. But, I don't believe that knowledge of Scripture begins with Bible Study. I believe intimacy is the key to discovering God through His Word. A husband doesn't learn more about his wife by studying books about women, he learns more about his wife and who she is by being with her. And a husband who loves his wife is motivated by love, passion and desire to find out more about who she is. So, why do I study Scripture? To learn more about God? That's a terrible answer.
King David was connected. If anyone in Scripture other than Jesus Himself was wired into intimacy with God, it was this guy. Psalm 63 a song David wrote walks us through what it means to be intimate with God.
perfecting intimacy with God begins with desire.
vs. 1, "O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you"
People search a lifetime for fulfillment. They try to find it by finding themselves, or they think that another person will make them happy, money, fame, promotions, you name it, people try to fill the emptiness they feel a hundred different ways. But David knew that God was his fulfillment. God would fill the emptiness and make him whole. God was his desire, his passion.
Desiring God leads to raised awareness of who He is
vs 2 - "I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory"
When God is the object of our desire something happens. Our awareness of who He is raises. Have you ever wondered if God really cared about you? Have you wondered about His will for your life uncertain about whether God is there for you or not? If you have felt this way, or are feeling this way now, there is something you can do. Actually it's a choice. Make God your ultimate desire. David claims to "see" God. The king of Israel is aware that there is a greater power in the room than himself. Kings are not typically humble people. But David isn't typical, he's not perfect, he's made a lot of mistakes and he's a sinful guy like the rest of us. But David is aware of who God is. He is tuned in to the power and glory of God because God is his ultimate desire.
A raised awareness of who God is leads to reshaped priorities that fit His.
vs. 3-4 - "Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you! I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer."
You'll notice the religious stuff in this verse, namely praise and prayer. Why does David praise God? Why does David pray? These are not meaningless rituals to him. Desiring God leads to raised awareness of who He is and a raised awareness of who God is leads to reshaping priorities that fit His. Praise and prayer are top priority of those who desire God. There is nothing on earth that compares to the unfailing love of God. This is why Paul claimed that everything he once considered his priorities he now considers as garbage.
reshaped priorities that fit His condition us to recognize that God is enough.
vs. 5-6 - "You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy. I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night."
God is enough. Desiring God leads to raised awareness of who He is and a raised awareness of who God is leads to reshaped priorities that fit His, and reshaped priorities that fit His condition us to recognize that God is enough. Hebrews teaches us that we must remain faithful in our marriage. When a husband or wife are no longer confident that they are enough for their spouse feelings of insecurity cloud that relationship. A wife needs to know that she is enough for her husband, that he's not going to seek out another person for his needs. A husband must know the same about his wife. Well, guess what? This is true in our spiritual relationship with God. God is enough. He satisfies. And a follower of Jesus who is intimate with God understands this core truth. God is enough.
When we recognize God is enough we become completely dependent on Him
vs. 7-8 - "Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings. I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely"
Desiring God leads to raised awareness of who He is and a raised awareness of who God is leads to reshaped priorities that fit His, and reshaped priorities that fit His condition us to recognize that God is enough and when we recognize God is enough we become completely dependent on Him. This is intimacy. This works in a marriage, too. As I love and desire my wife I enjoy a raised awareness of her needs and as I understand her needs, I reshape my priorities to meet them. This process conditions me to recognize how much I love and need her and there is no other woman on earth that I want to be with and while I'm not completely dependent on my wife, I do depend on her and trust her like no other person on earth. Does that make sense?
I follow a facebook page called "Living Thru Lanie" Lanie is a little girl who needs a triple transplant of her kidneys, liver, and pancreas. Her parents are Jesus followers. People can claim to be anything they want to be. There are a lot of folks who claim they are Christians. Sometimes they point to all the religious stuff they do as proof. When Christians walk away from God because of their problems, or even tragedy, and they blame God, or they can't justify a "loving God" because of what they are dealing with, they do this because they were never intimate with God in the first place. But I want to share with you a paragraph from a post that Lanie's mom put on facebook a few days ago.
This is proof of what intimacy with God looks like.
"I don't think that it's true that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. I can't handle this. I can't be thankful, on my own for sunshine and soft blankets and forehead kisses and big pink bears that I get to sleep with on nights that Lanie doesn't notice. I'm not strong...or gracious...or even kind when I use words in and of themselves. And if God did only give us what we could handle, what would be our need for Him? It makes more sense to me that God allows us to be involved in circumstances that we CAN'T AT ALL handle so that He can shine through. He can be exalted. And I just get to spend the morning sitting in the sunshine and being excited for the day"
Desiring God leads to raised awareness of who He is and a raised awareness of who God is leads to reshaped priorities that fit His, and reshaped priorities that fit His condition us to recognize that God is enough and when we recognize God is enough we become completely dependent on Him. "I just get to spend the morning sitting in the sunshine and being excited for the day"
"Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need" - Jesus.
