Today is Mother’s Day. On this day we honor the women among us who have or are raising children. And this is a worthy thing. Mom’s deserve our respect, attention and honor. But I would like to take a look at something Jesus said, that will broaden your perspective on this day, or at least I hope that it will. Jesus said this as recorded in Matthew 12:50, “Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother!” Do you see what Jesus does here? He broadens the definition of family in one statement. For those of us who are followers of Jesus our physical family is the secondary, and our church family is the primary. In other words, if we’re going to celebrate Mother’s Day as followers then we should primarily be celebrating women among us who are the Spiritual mom’s in our church.
This doesn’t mean that mom’s are not important. The opposite is actually true, just as our mom’s are honored, as they should be, our Spiritual mom’s are to be celebrated, too. Now when you take a look at Titus 2:4, “These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children” We see this mothering aspect from a Spiritual perspective. And this has everything to do with what we’re going to be talking about for the next few Sundays.
Today we are beginning our series on marriage and Jesus followers. We're going to be discussing Hebrews 13:4. "Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery."
Today we’re going to discuss faithfulness over happiness. It's no secret that marriages break up every day. Many times selfishness is the core motivator. I know it sounds harsh to say this, but, it doesn't matter how you coat it, it's pure selfishness many times that destroys marriages. I wish I had a dollar every time someone said, "God just wants me to be happy," in a discussion in which they were justifying their break up. Let me make this as clear as I can, that's bull crap. This doesn't define God as mean, hurtful, and punishing. God is love. The truth is there's no mention in the New Testament that what God wants for your life is your perception of happiness. The Bible does tell us that God wants you to be filled with joy. And there's only one way to experience the joy of God, by following His Son Jesus.
Here's the irony. We receive joy when we're faithful to God and to our human relationships. We've talked about this before in our first session on defining love. Genuine love is faithful and joy is the result. But our selfishness intervenes sometimes. A person can become obsessed with their happiness. When this happens to a person, they will try to find something that will encourage their happiness; often believing that they 'find' it in another relationship.
The Bible calls the things we use to pursue our happiness, idols. James 4:1-3 is an outline for why we suffer conflict in our relationships. When our motive, the reason for why we do what we do is to pursue pleasure or happiness, then we're worshiping an idol.
To pursue faithfulness over happiness there are three questions we should ask ourselves consistently to make sure we are not seeking idols, but, instead seeking after Jesus. I believe married Jesus followers should consistently reflect on these questions. Honest reflections of these questions have strengthened my marriage to Kristi and our personal answers to these questions have enabled us to weather tragedy together like losing a son, and nursing another through bone cancer. We are deeply committed to each other and our faith in Jesus, not because we're more special or holy than any one else, but because we've reflected many hours together on these questions.
Do I love Jesus more than my stuff? This may seem like an easy answer on Sunday, but, ask this question of yourself every day. How would your life be different if you loved Jesus more than your stuff every day of the week? Matthew 6:19-21 “Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.”
I attended college in Edmond Oklahoma about thirty minutes from Oklahoma City. A couple of years after I graduated, the city was rocked by the bombing of the federal building in 1995. This terrorist act took place almost across the street from where Kristi and I were married at the Oklahoma County courthouse. Today where the federal building stood is a monument, a park and a museum, dedicated to the victims and survivors of that horrible day in April, 1995. In the park is a tree: a sprawling, shade-bearing, 80-year-old American Elm.
A few years ago when I visited the site, it was the thing that brought me to tears. Standing at the base of the tree and putting my hands on it, I couldn’t help but reflect on the symbol of it. Max Lucado writes in his book, Facing Your Giants; “This Elm endured the Oklahoma City bombing. Timothy McVeigh parked his death-laden truck only yards from her. His malice killed 168 people, wounded 850, destroyed the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building, and buried the tree in rubble. No one expected it to survive. No one, in fact, gave any thought to the dusty, branch-stripped tree. But then she began to bud. Sprouts pressed through damaged bark; green leaves pushed away gray soot. Life resurrected from an acre of death. People noticed. The tree modeled the resilience the victims desired. So they gave the elm a name: the Survivor Tree. “
This is the story of Resurrection. The Surivor Tree is an example. We can talk about all kinds of religious stuff, but, the Truth is pretty simple, really. Jesus was buried. He was written off. He was dead, done for, and gone. His followers were confused, abandoned and alone. The power of what we seek is found in the person of the Resurrected Jesus.
Maybe you feel the same way right now. Maybe you think your life is miserable, you feel buried under pressure, stress, worry or other burdens. Maybe you're worried about your marriage right now. Maybe you're even being tempted to be unfaithful. Or one day you might be, and in that moment, I ask you a simple question. Where is your treasure? For real? Do you love Jesus more than your stuff? Do you want to experience the Resurrection with Jesus, do you want to stand, even grow through the burdens of life, do you want to survive forever? Then understand that everything in this world is temporary. Everything. Every person, every job, every penny, all the stuff, vacation spots, hobbies, or anything else we prioritize, it’s all temporary because your life is finite. Your marriage is temporary. Where is your treasure? Jesus asks you this. Maybe you should try making following Jesus your treasure. I hope today you’ll decide to make understanding His teaching your priority.
The second question I should ask to make sure I’m following Jesus or seeking Him first is
Is the family of God more important to me than my own? Jesus said, “Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother!” Matthew 12:50 Jesus made it clear who His brothers and sisters are. Kristi and I have four kids. Our oldest is in college and is learning to make his own way. We have always stressed to our kids that the most important part of their journey on earth is to do the Will of God. There is no other priority more important than that. While we hope that our kids will live close to us, or maybe have grandkids we can spoil regularly, this is not what we expect. We expect our kids to do the Will of God. Maybe their mission for Jesus will take them to another country. We want them to believe that this is not only possible, but, likely. Why? Because the Gospel of Jesus needs to go where the lost need to hear it.
It’s not easy to live far away from family. The closest that Kristi and I have lived to our parents is in Marshalltown IA where we moved from to live here. We were about five hours from Kristi’s parents. There are days I wish I lived closer to family. I miss my parents. I miss my brothers. I’m not participating in the lives of my nephews and nieces. I can’t give my mom a hug on Mothers Day. I haven’t hugged my mom on Mother’s Day in over 20 years. And if I spend a lot of time thinking about it, I get bummed. But, I know this awesome truth. The power of what I seek is found in the person of the Resurrected Jesus.
If family was more important to me than preaching the Gospel, or living the mission of Jesus, I wouldn’t be here. If I could choose to live anywhere in the world I would live in Fort Collins Colorado. But that is my flesh talking. My Spirit tells me to live where I can be the most effective for the mission of Jesus Christ. And I choose to listen to the Spirit.
So what if I don’t see my kids after they graduate from High School? I want them to go and live the mission of Jesus Christ. What if I never see them on this earth again? If my kids choose to pick up their cross every day, deny themselves and follow Jesus, to live His mission out on the earth, I sacrifice a few years. But we gain our eternity together.
And this leads me to the third question
Will you gladly leave your home behind to share the Gospel of Jesus to others? The teaching of living as a genuine follower of Jesus does not accommodate North American comfort. We make all kinds of excuses for why we can't be missionaries, but, Jesus doesn't budge. Matthew 8:22
James 4 teaches us that we’re not in touch with God when we’re seeking what we want instead of seeking the things of God first. In verse 3 the word to describe this is hedone, this is a selfish word that means 'I'm the center', everything circles around me, everything is about me. When people choose to be selfish, to seek pleasure, to be the center they are not seeking faithfulness, but pleasure. This is the idea behind idol worship. A person doesn't need a shrine designed around some kind of wooden or stone image, idol worship may be discovered on our credit card bill. Our pursuit of happiness/pleasure may be discovered in how we budget our money or our expectations of others that love us. Sometimes, according to James 4, this “I’m the center” attitude is discovered in feelings like jealousy or greed. Jesus says in Luke 9:23 that the decision a follower must make as they “pick up their cross daily” is to “deny themselves.”
If we're Jesus followers we'll seek His Kingdom first. He is the King of kings we serve, He is the One to whom we belong. Jesus doesn't expect spouses to leave each other for Him, He created marriage, He celebrates the union between a man and a woman, but, if the couple are two Jesus followers, they will pursue Him first, together. In relationships where only one is a Jesus follower and the other spouse is not, or maybe a fan rather than a follower, then the Jesus follower has the privilege of living for Jesus in the home. In this way, the mission of Jesus is very close. 1 Corinthians 7:13-14
The reality is that every follower of Jesus has a mission. I hope and pray you are seeking faithfulness over happiness. I pray you know that the power of what you seek is found in the person of the Resurrected Jesus.
