This Marriage Thing! Holy Ghost
Ephesians 5:22-33
Someone once told me that if you're single you're incomplete but when you get married you're finished! If you happen to get married to the wrong woman you're completely finished! Lol.. Funny as it sounds there's an element of truth in this statement. Several times I've been told that I cannot claim to be on fire for Jesus until I'm married. Men and women alike who were on fire for God have suddenly slowed down or outrightly gone cold after getting married.
As I prepare to take this big step in my life my desire and prayers is that I'd not be part of the statistics. I have been carefully studying what the bible says about the institution of marriage. I know there are so many books out on marriage and marriage seminars but I want a first hand revelation from the Master's manual itself (the bible). I've read and listen to different interpretations and ideas from different marriage experts but I want to know what Ultimate Expert expects of me exactly. After saying "I do" and the excitement of wedding ceremonies and honeymoon what next? When the honey comes back from the moon how am I to conduct myself? Oh, I'm going for marriage counselling but that's supposed to be an addition to what I've learnt myself.
A careful study of the passage above has really blown my mind. I personally believe the brothers get the hard end of the deal in this passage. Lol.. This passage relates the marriage between the man and his wife with the marriage between Christ and His church! The man should be like Christ whilst the woman should be like the church.. Hellooo! How? I can't even be like Peter well enough not to talk of Christ!
The passage began with a popular instruction to the wives.. Wives, submit.. Every married man must know this scripture by heart I'm sure.. Lol.. Who is a wife? A wife is a WOMAN joined in marriage or matrimony to a man and considered as his spouse. Wives! Not every woman is a wife you know, but every wife MUST be a woman! Some women don't know how to be women because of their background. They've been 'acting' the man all their life that even when they get married they confuse their roles. No need you trying to be the man, be the best woman God has created you to be. Wives!
The next word is submit- to submit means to yield or surrender (oneself) to the will and authority of another! Now this is reallyyyy difficult! This means willingly relinquishing your will to another. Submission is a word that has lost relevance in our generation. An example of submission is found in the book of Genesis 12:1-5- God told a 75year old man to leave his home and family to a place that he knew nothing about and he didn't argue, question or rationalise he just obeyed. Sarai was more interesting to me because she wasn't the one God spoke with so she had every right to say no but she never questioned the instruction. I know this wouldn't go down well with women in our generation at all. Imagine your husband wakes up one morning and says "honey we are travelling out of our country, we would resign our jobs and go somewhere" so the woman would ask "where exactly are we going cause you're not making sense at all". Man: "hmmm (scratching his head) I will tell you when we get there" Woman: "are you having a laugh or you've just lost your mind! You mean I should leave my job that pays the bills and follow you to a place you don't even know! Shameless, irresponsible man!" Most men who would have responded to the call of God to leave where they are to go somewhere God is taking them are still busy trying to convince their wives whilst God has moved on to find an alternative. Submit! Submission like someone pointed out is a fusion of 2 root words, Sub- Mission. Though you have your own plans and mission it should be surrendered to your husband's authority and can the church say amen! I honestly don't think most women understand the advantage of this instruction. If you're submitted to someone's authority they're automatically responsible for whatever happens to you! Which means that every time you submit to your husband God holds him responsible for your welfare!
Wives, submit yourselves unto YOUR OWN husbands.. Your own husbands! The bible is very specific in it's instructions to us as believers. Wonder why the bible would say your own? Why is it necessary to specify? There are women who are very respectful and submissive to other women's husbands but never submit to their own husband. There are Christian wives who would never submit to their husband because he's not as 'spiritual' as they are. There are wives who would not submit to their own husbands because they pay the bills. You submit to your boss at work like he's your God but disrespect your husband- you're a good staff not a good wife! You submit to your pastor, deacons and HOD but only submit to your husband when convenient you're a good church member not a good wife and certainly not a good Christian! Proverbs 31:10-31 describes a model wife and mother but the first quality mentioned in her relationship is to her husband. Verse 11 says the heart of her husband safely trust in her.. Has confidence in her! Verse 23 further explains what his confidence in her does to him outside! Maybe you're the reason why your husband is still on the level he is! If you emasculate your man at home he would never rise up outside!
I know most women would say they have tried there best in the area of submission but the next statement in that verse is really deep... As unto The Lord.. Hmmmm.. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, AS UNTO THE LORD! I know we don't have problem submitting to God, you know God's got lightning and thunder and stuff. No, most Christians want to submit to God! We know that He is good and submitting to Him takes us to higher levels but how do I submit to a dumb thing! I'm sorry but the true test of submission is when you know more than what you're required to submit to! Have you ever had a boss at work that's a complete dummy! You wonder how on earth did he get the position, and yet you're meant to submit to him! I know you would submit because if you don't you'd be looking for another job in a season of recession. Same way God expects you to submit dear wife to your 'stupid' husband and not only that but as unto The Lord! The same way the church is meant to submit absolutely to the bridegroom Jesus,(though we sometimes play the harlot), that's how God expects the wife to submit to her husband.
The following verse says for the husband is the head of the wife.. Deep, deep stuff.. Think about the relationship between the head and the body! The head is the representation of the body. That's why ID pictures show the head! Your husband is a representation of you woman! Whatever is being felt by the body is usually express on the face. If I'm happy you'd see it on my face, if I'm sad you'd see it on my face. If I'm in discomfort or pain it would show on my face! The head has eyes for vision hence the man should be the visioner in the marriage. The head carries the ear- the man should be able to hear God on behalf of the body ( wife). The body is nourished from food taken through the mouth which is located on the head- the man must not only be able to bring in food for his wife but also be able to eat the bread of God's word and pass it down unto the body (wife). The nose is the organ responsible for olfaction- big English small meaning- smell! The husband is meant to be able to perceive or smell trouble or blessings. Husband is the antennae (physical and spiritual) for the body. A large percentage of the head also carries a grey or whitish substance called the brain- this is the hub in the human body where information feed into, processed and action and responses are taken from! The Head! Without the brain most part of the human body would be paralysed! Having looked at the head and what it is meant for it is also needful to look at the body as well. As big as the head looks it cannot go anywhere without the leg! No matter how brilliant and intelligent your ideas are you need your wife to run with it for you. That's why when God created the first wife (eve) she was the help meet for her husband. The head needs the hands to carry out what's thought up in the brain. The heart is the organ that pumps blood to every part of the body including the brain. If it stops then the whole body with the head would suffer heart failure. Wife you're the heart of your husband. Don't try make the man emotional, that's your responsibility. The Backbone is the skeletal structure that gives the body a shape and supports the whole body frame. This also holds the head up through it's extension. Wives you are the frame on which the head rest. The backbones also protects the spinal cord and several nerves for sensitivity.. No wonder women are very sensitive! Don't try get your man to be overly sensitive! Lungs, kidney, intestines, reproductive organs are some of the parts on the body that can define the roles a wife should play which I would bore you with.
Again the admonition to wives end in verse 24 by say the wife should be subject.. Now that's another word with meaning close to submission-Being in a position or in circumstances that place one under the power or authority of another or others. As the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be subject to their own husbands IN EVERYTHING! You know there are many churches that have created their own heads aside from Christ. They can justify it even from the scriptures but it doesn't make it right. The same way there are wives who would rather be subjects to other people's husbands and try to justify it. As There are churches who are subject to christ in certain areas but not in other areas, there are also wives who are subject to their husbands in certain areas but not in others. The bible doesn't go half way- it said - in everything!
Ok now, so Mr Husband, and Mr Husband-to-be before you start printing this out for your wives and fiancees here is something for us to think and cry to God for help about! Verse 25 says Husbands.. Need I say that not everyone that wears trousers is a man and not every man is an husband! The English word husband, even though it is a basic kinship term, is not a native English word. It comes ultimately from the Old Norse word husbandi, meaning "master of a house," which was borrowed into Old English as husbanda. The second element in husbandi, bandi, means "a man who has land and stock" and comes from the Old Norse verb ba, meaning "to live, dwell, have a household." The master of the house was usually a spouse as well, of course, and it would seem that the main modern sense of husband arises from this overlap.. Hmmm so ask yourself are you really an husbandi? You're bandi- master and hus- house. So if you cannot provide a household for your wife we'd just call you bandi- master of nothing! Are you an husband?
It doesn't stop at being an husband, it says love your wives- YOUR OWN! Not another man's. Some men would freely and easily complement another persons wife but very reserved when it come to their own wives. Why are you watering another man's garden? Love YOUR wives! Now loving your beautiful wife shouldn't be that difficult or is it? I don't think loving your very humble, always smiling never troublesome wife should be a problem. Any casual male looking at this verse would have smiled and conclude that we got the better deal but! On a closer look! I saw the most frightening instruction yet in the bible since I've been reading it.. Husbands love your wives.. Wait for it! EVEN AS CHRIST ALSO LOVED THE CHURCH, AND GAVE HIMSELF FOR IT! Phew! Are you kidding me?! How on earth is that possible! Oh you know Christ He's love and how can I love like He loved? You know Christ loved the church even when the church was messing about! Bible said whilst we were yet sinners Christ died for us! So are you telling me that good or bad I must love my wife?.. Even when she brings up those not so good attitude? Christ came and look for his church bought us with a prize- his life- cleansed us. How are you brotherman going to love your woman like Christ loved you? I ask myself at times how Christ is able to bear a person like me- now this scripture means the same way Christ loves the unlovable me should be the same way I love my wife! Unconditional love! Beyond that it goes on to say Christ gave himself up for the church-wow! You know the grace of our Lord Jesus who though he was rich became poor so that we through his poverty may become rich! Oh! oh!! Meaning I'd must give everything I have to make my wife comfortable. You know how he became sin who knew no sin that through him we might attain unto the righteousness of the father! You know Christ was nailed (crucified) for the sins of the church! Even after Christ never left His church, He went away but made provision for His church! He is seated on the right hand of the father constantly interceding for His bride (the church).. Hmmm how am I going to be to my wife what Christ is to His bride (the church)? You know Christ is working through the Holy Spirit to present His bride without spot or wrinkle to Himself- How can I work to present my bride without spot or wrinkle?
Whoever said the husband got the easy part should think again! I'd take the submission gladly in exchange for dying! That's why I believe every wife and wives to be need to pray that God would help their husband through the Holy Spirit to meet heaven's standard of a husband!
For those that are in it already I greet you! For those that are in it but wearied I pray that God would strengthen you again! For those that have thrown in the towel I pray the Comforter would never leave you! For those that are just starting I pray sufficient grace for the journey!
