Bullying: Far From Harmless
March 3, 2013 Chester FBC, Chester, IL Dr. Mike Fogerson
Introduction
A Each of us have experience with bullying: either as the one wounded or the one doing the wounding.
1 Maybe you’re there right now!
a Someone is stabbing you with words, kicking you with cruel acts, hurting you, taking away your dignity.
b Maybe you can’t sleep @ night dreading to see the people @ school or @ work.
aa They have a name for you-but it’s not your real name.
bb They have a mission to take away your dignity, self-esteem.
cc Spit on you, trip you, knock your books out of your arms, stomp your ankles from behind.
cc Make fun of what you where; You get something for yourself they want to take it, steal it, tear it.
2 Why? For no particular reason.
a Because your small, whistle a certain song, chorus, band, not in sports, you can’t throw/catch a ball.
b Can run fast, far, don’t have the right clothes, . . . you’re different.
3 You tell the people who love you, shelter you, protect you . . . the only instruction/council we’re given is . . .ignore them, stay away from them . . . but no one does anything to stop the verbal, physical, emotional abuse.
a Ignore? Ignoring is acting.
aa Act like the words/actions don’t hurt.
bb You hear the words, feel the blows.
b You can act deaf/impervious to the pain but the stabs & arrows hit you anyway.
B You don’t have any choice but to be there (Gotta go to school, need the job)
1 If you had a choice in the matter you wouldn’t be there (classroom, hall, locker room, bus, cafeteria, the way you walk home)
a You gotta go so you get your books, back pack, lunch . . . gone.
aa “Kids will be kids; life is tough, we all went through it, it’s part of growing up.”
bb It’ll make you stronger; suck it up, kid.
cc Or, you wanna work here you’ll just suck it up & not cause waves.
2 Everyday you get more wounded, stabbed, bleed.
a Wounds fester, infected.
b That infected wound changes you because your spirit has been wounded has been wounded painfully (sometimes permanently.)
c Prov. 18.14, The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear? (KJV)
3 When injury/tough times come, we must be able to draw upon a reservoir of hope, faith, & confidence that God has put inside of us through His Spirit & the love/encouragement of friends.
a Bullies knock holes in our reservoir, drain us of joy, love, confidence.
b Won’t Christ sustain us? Give us the hope/grace we need?
aa I wouldn’t be here today if He didn’t! (That’s the rub.)
bb To prove anything ultimately it takes time/experience.
cc You have to live it out for a while, maybe a long while.
C There is a process that is involved with living out the proof that Christ sustains us.
1 Today, some of us are in the process.
a We have unresolved issues, wounds that need to dressed.
aa Forgiveness that needs to be forgiven; healing received.
bb Some of us adults have been carrying unhealed wounds since childhood.
b In my opinion, much of the violence/school shootings are executed by boys who have a wounded spirit.
aa Bullied, hit, picked on, deodorant sprayed in their face . .
bb Told, “Oh, just ignore it. Kids will be kids, it will make you stronger. . . .”
2 We have an army of young people & adults who have been deeply wounded in their spirit by authority figures/friends.
a We must stop ignoring the problem of bullying & address it.
b Those who have been wounded often become those who wound other.
aa We don’t see it until they snap, take desperate actions, violent measures.
bb We can’t ignore the problem, be in denial that it doesn’t happen in our families, schools, churches, workplaces.
c All of us (wounded or wounded others) need some healing, forgiveness, & a new attitude toward each other.
I The Rules were always there for a reason.
II For 50 years we have taught students that “only the strong survive.”
A We evolved from slime, no absolute objective moral values exist, no ultimate designer/creator, no heaven/hell, no ultimate destiny.
1 We have taught our young people to decide for themselves what is right/wrong. (You determine what’s right)
a If evolution is true . . .
aa there is no God, if there’s no God then no fixed eternal source of truth & morality.
bb No fixed eternal source of truth & morality, then truth & morality are left up to individuals.
b If the individual judges killing all the “stupid & weak organisms” in life is justified/right, by what basis can we question his judgement? He’s only following the moral compass evolution provides.
2 If this seems too philosophical, pedantic—remember the end result is very practical & personal.
a It affects what is taught in every H.S./College classroom, heard in music, seen on TV/Movies/Video Games.
aa To what the supports of the homosexual lifestyle espouse.
bb To abortion, assisted suicide, to radical anti-Christian movements.
b How? We’ve removed Mrs. Crosby & her rules from the playground.
aa W/O her & her rules, we’ve left what dictates right/wrong to our own hearts.
bb Jeremiah 17.9 "The heart is more deceitful than all else, And is desperately sick; Who can understand it? (NASB)
B With nothing in place to stop bullying from happening is it little wonder why there is hell in the halls?
1 Why shouldn’t kids taunt, tease, torment each other?
a Why shouldn’t those who are bullied retaliate w/ guns if they want to?
b Why shouldn’t the husband blacken his wife’s eye to remind her he’s in charge?
2 If we’re just grown-up goo, animals . . . what does it matter?
C The ultimate issue of naturalism/evolution is not fossils, bones, strata . . . it’s God.
1 Rejection of God & our accountability to Him is foundational to evolutionist thinking.
a Rejection of God comes first, then comes the interpretation of the data.
b With God rejected, morality becomes arbitrary; the rights/dignity of others become secondary.
aa The survival of the fittest, only the strong survive, guard what’s yours, seek revenge becomes a perfectly logical alternative.
bb If a loving creator DOES exist & rule the universe then we have in Him a transcendent source for meaning, source for right/wrong- - - God’s Word, Bible.
2 If we remove God from our culture/value system/thinking then we have no rules - - - and either do our children.
a Two secular authors, John H. Hoover & Ronald Oliver, recognized the relationship between abusive behavior & the absence of spiritual values in their work, The Bullying Prevention Handbook.
b “In the end, bullying is related to our ultimate beliefs about the worth of individuals and the way they should be treated. The topics of morality, moral education, ethical reasoning, and spirituality lie at the core of society’s problems, including child-on-child aggression. As practitioners think about bullying in the future, it would be beneficial to examine the role that moral development plays in learning to care about one another. Educational leaders may look to the world’s religions for answers to the problems of how we interrelate. For example, the Judeo-Christian-Islamic view that man is created in the image of God has enormous moral implications for how the weakest among us are treated. In the Christian tradition, Jesus stated that whatever was done to the weakest was done to him.”
3 When we have Colombines, Sandyhooks, we all shed tears, lament @ the horrible thing that has happened.
a If the “Let’s tear down the rules” crowd is right (no absolutes, no right/wrong, transcendent scheme of justice in the universe) then nothing wrong happened @ these schools.
aa After all, we’re just ANIMALS ANYWAY.
bb Lions eat gazelles, bats eat bugs, kids shoot kids. What’s the problem?
b The trust is we all know something horrible happened at these places (& dozens of others just like them)
aa No matter how adamantly men & women attempt to deny God, we still hint at His existence every time we “get moral” about something.
bb When you say something is good/evil, you have to have some overall moral scheme, moral law to figure out what is good/evil.
D To have a moral law, you have to have a moral law giver.
1 If there is no moral law giver, then there can be no moral law & what is, is.
a We can’t make any judgement about it!
b Even the most devoted relativists & avowed Atheists know when they’ve been wronged, treated unfairly, ripped off, abused, taken advantage of.
aa How did they get that idea? Who taught them?
bb Even kids who have never taken philosophy, theology know when they’re getting the shaft.
2 Johnny, no cookie before supper. Susie did!; Johnny, time for bed. Susie gets to stay up.
3 I believer every human being is born with a sense of transcendent justice because we are all born in the image of God. (Gen. 1. 26,27)
26 Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth."27 God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Gen 1:26-27 (NASB)
a God is a moral God, moral law giver, & He has written His moral law upon the heart of every human being (Rom. 2.12-16)
12 For all who have sinned without the Law will also perish without the Law, and all who have sinned under the Law will be judged by the Law;13 for it is not the hearers of the Law who are just before God, but the doers of the Law will be justified.14 For when Gentiles who do not have the Law do instinctively the things of the Law, these, not having the Law, are a law to themselves,15 in that they show the work of the Law written in their hearts, their conscience bearing witness and their thoughts alternately accusing or else defending them,16 on the day when, according to my gospel, God will judge the secrets of men through Christ Jesus. Romans 2:12-16 (NASB)
b When people try to get around this truth things get silly quickly.
aa “It’s wrong to impose your morals on others!”
When you tell me its wrong to do something aren’t you imposing your morals on me?
bb “There are no absolutes.” Isn’t that an absolute?
cc “No one’s moral opinion is valid because we all speak from how we’ve been indoctrinated?”
That applys to you as well, which means what you’ve just said isn’t valid either.
dd “Everyone should be able to believe whatever they want!”
Then why are you arguing with me?
ee “Life is meaningless.”
Would you consider that a meaningful statement?
ff “You can’t know anything for sure.” You seem rather sure about that.
gg “Students, no view of reality is superior to any other.”
Not really, why are you grading my papers?
hh “You have no right to say truth is eternal! We all create our own reality.”
Then I’m YOUR fault.
ii “Here we go again, another right-wing fundamentalist making bold assertions of fact!”
Pardon me, didn’t you just make a bold assertion of fact?
jj “There is no right or wrong?”
Is that statement right or wrong?
kk “You can’t tell anybody they’re wrong!”
Am I wrong in doing so?
E It gets silly, especially if you ascribe to a biblical code of ethics.
1 We can’t say things are good or evil if we don’t acknowledge there is an objective, eternal truth & morality.
a How does a relativist/atheist know it’s wrong when their hose is broken into? God said it’s wrong to steal!
b God the eternal, objective giver of truth & morality says that some things are right/wrong.
c He gets real specific about what matters to Him:
8 He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God? Micah 6:8 (NASB)
2 God has created us in His image & put each of us here for specific purposes.
a That means all of us has value, worth, preciousness, meaning, dignity.
b Why? Because we all matter to God!
3 Not only is it wrong for me to devalue another person, to belittle, to bully, or to abuse another person created in God’s image, I MUST DO WHAT I CAN TO DEFEND THOSE WHO CANNOT DEFEND THEMSELVES FROM SUCH ABUSE.
a Acts 17.26-28; and He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, 27 that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; 28 for in Him we live and move and exist, as even some of your own poets have said, 'For we also are His children.' (NASB)
b We really are “family” whether we choose to admit or not.
F God says it’s right respect, love, care for, protect our fellow man.
1 It’s wrong to abuse, tease, taunt, intimidate, hurt, harass, or violate anyone.
a Step further, it’s sin if we do. (Direct disobedience to our Lord Jesus Christ.)
aa Luke 10.27, And he answered, " YOU SHALL LOVE THE Lord YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND; AND YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF (NASB)
bb Matt. 7.12, "In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you . . .(NASB)
b That’s not a bad code to live by!
2 It beats the stuffing out of “only the strong survive” & “survival of the fittest.”
Conclusion:
A Every time a bully bullies, he/she sends a message of mockery of God’s handiwork.
1 If I’m made by God then I’m wonderfully & fearfully made (Ps. 139.14.)
14 I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. Psalms 139:14 (NASB)
a I’m not fat, stupid, slow, uncoordinated, too short, retarded, c-word, b-word, . . . .
b Either the bully is lying or God is (Num. 23.19.)
19 "God is not a man, that He should lie, Nor a son of man, that He should repent; Has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good? Num 23:19 (NASB)
2 When God is removed from our thoughts, lives, schools, society – evil prevails because there is NO argument against it.
a People are no longer intrinsically, precious, so it’s pretty easy to mistreat the weak, the less intelligent, the less affluent, the physically disfigured . . . for whatever reason don’t measure up.
b When we devalue human life, bully, we’re not simply cutting someone down . . . we’re disrespecting the Giver of life/dignity . . God Himself.
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Respectfully,
Mike Fogerson
