JESUS' OPINION: Jesus says the path to life is not in “finding yourself” but in “denying yourself.”
- Matthew 16:24; Mark 8:34.
- I’m thinking of the stereotypical statement that is so common that it’s almost a cliché: “I’ve got to go find myself.” It is forever being used to express the pursuit of truth and your true heart.
- Another similar phrase: “You’ve got to follow your heart.”
- It’s jarring to consider this morning that Jesus says those statements are lies. In fact, even for many Christians the sentiments are so common that we don’t even think twice about it. We just presume that they must be true.
- Does this go against everything that we’ve been taught in our culture? Yes.
- This morning we’re going to look at the challenging words that Jesus says in calling us to “deny yourself and carry your cross.”
- We need to really step back to the basics, so we’re going to start with simply defining what those phrases even mean before we move onto talking about why it’s a wise choice to pursue what Jesus is saying.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
a. To “deny yourself” means to surrender your right to have things your way.
- Matthew 16:24; Mark 8:34.
- “I surrender my right to what I want.”
- “I surrender my right to have it my way.”
- The idea that I have the right to have things my way presumes that I’m in charge of my life. I’m not. 1 Corinthians 6:20 reminds us that we are bought with a price. Jesus is Lord of my life when I become a Christian – He is the one calling the shots.
- It is the natural direction of the human heart to want what it wants.
- In fact, it’s a popular plot in TV shows and movies to have a couple “follow their heart” in order to be together. Any damage that happens in the pursuit of that is fully justified because, presumably, there is nothing higher than “following your heart.” Just to cite one example, years ago on the TV show Frasier, when Niles and Daphne finally confessed their star-crossed love for each other, the plotline effectively destroyed two marriages in order to bring them together. But there was no hint that anything was wrong with that because they “were meant to be” and they had to “follow their heart.”
- It is a sea-change for us to say, “No, I don’t have to have my way. I am not in charge of my life. I am going to deny myself and my natural desires.”
- This is an act of the will, not of the emotions.
- The elevation of the emotions is one aspect of this “follow your heart” truth. “We must do what our emotions call us to do,” we are told. Emotions are not good truth tellers. Emotions make good cabooses, but terrible engines. (That is, they’ll come along usually when our will leads in the right direction, but they are poor guides to follow.)
- Pursuing what your emotions tell you is true is pretty much a recipe for ruining your life.
- Instead, we need to put our will in charge. Which leads us to the second half of the statement.
b. To “take up your cross” means to embrace the sacrifice.
- Matthew 10:38; Matthew 16:24; Mark 8:34; Luke 14:27.
- This means to embrace the sacrifice that Jesus calls us to.
- This means to carry the difficult things of the Jesus life.
- Unlike Jesus who literally carried a cross, it’s a figurative thing for us. The cross represents sacrifice.
- Obeying Jesus is going to demand that we do things that are difficult for us. (More specifics coming up.) It’s going to demand that we do things that are not on the easy path. It’s going to demand that we put aside “what I want” and pursue “what He wants.”
- There is definitely a sacrifice here. It’s found in the pursuit of what Jesus tells us we need to do. Much of what He commands us does not come naturally to us.
- When we come to follow Jesus expecting sunshine, rainbows, and lollipops for everyone, we will presume that we’re off track when He leads in directions that require sacrifice and struggle. We should not be surprised by sacrifice and struggle – He called us to “carry our cross!”
- Yet somehow most American Christians have managed to completely ignore that part of the gospel.
- These two ideas go together: you are “laying down” your desires as you “take up” what Jesus is calling you to do.
WHY IS THAT A WISE CHOICE?
a. Your heart’s goals are faulty.
- How can I prove this point? If I do everything I want, where is that going to lead me? Very often it will lead me toward what feels good, toward what is easy, toward what excuses my behavior.
- My heart’s goals would often not have my long-term maturity or expansion of the Kingdom at their heart.
1. Long-term maturity.
- Putting aside what is easy or comfortable in order to become a mature individual is not going to happen very often on our own.
2. Expansion of the Kingdom.
- Desiring to put God’s Kingdom before my own kingdom is also not likely to get my traction normally.
- There is definitely a tendency toward shallow things and self-centered things with our heart’s usual direction.
1. Shallow things.
- For many, what’s easy or what flows with their natural tendencies is what they would pursue.
- Examples: the 20-something guy who sits around playing video games and looking at porn; the couple that sleep together on the second date because they’re “in love;” the woman who runs up credit cards because she wants a certain lifestyle.
2. Self-centered things.
- For others, we pursue lofty goals, but the reasons that we do are focused on self.
- Examples: the student who wants to be a lawyer because he wants to have the money and the power; the person who is put out whenever someone at work makes his job a little harder, even if it means the larger purpose is being served; the teen who wants the household to center on his needs.
- We have to understand the truth of a simple equation:
The Bible > My ideas
- If “follow your heart” worked, then we’d see a society full of great results, which we don’t.
- It’s worth noting here that pursuing this comes in the context of God wanting to bring good things into our lives. Even though there is sacrifice involved, God’s heart is for blessings and abundance in our lives.
- Certainly the pathway to that blessing is not the path we would choose if left to our own devices, but it is a pathway to blessing.
- It sounds harsh, but it’s for our ultimate benefit.
- There might be some concern about the idea that “denying yourself” means that God wants to turn us all into anonymous robots without unique characteristics. On the contrary, it was God who created us and who understands our gifts and talents. The Bible is clear on the idea that in being the Body of Christ each of us in the church brings unique, needed gifts to the church. What this means is that the path of self-denial is not one that erases our individuality. We are trusting God to guide us, but He knows us better than we know ourselves, so His leading can get us to where we truly need to be.
b. Your heart’s GPS is faulty.
- There is a presumption today that everything that comes from my heart is intrinsically good and trustworthy. We presume that we can trust, if nothing else, our heart.
- That is a faulty presumption.
- The Bible says that our heart is wicked. We are tainted beings. Sometimes our heart tells us what’s right, but often it points us in questionable directions.
- To “follow your heart” is not a reliable guide.
c. It’s typical with a master teaching a novice that doing things right will be uncomfortable at first.
- Take, for instance, a novice golfer who goes for lessons. There is a good chance that the natural way that he swings is not going to be the best for long-term golfing success. The golf pro may make some corrections in his swing to get him on the right track toward long-term success.
- As we look at Jesus’ teaching, much of it is not what we would choose for ourselves if we were given the choice. That’s exactly the point! He is calling us to is not business as usual. His approach to the world is of God and therefore doesn’t line up with what the world typically tells us. And since our hearts have more in common with the world than they do with God, it also doesn’t line up with what our hearts tell us.
- And so we have to acknowledge that the fact that what Jesus is telling us to do it “different” is a good thing – it means we’ve chosen a different path than the world. It’s certainly going to be challenging and feel a little awkward at first, but that’s a positive sign.
WHAT DOES THIS LOOK LIKE IN REAL LIFE?
1. Example: Reading Bible or forgiving or giving financially.
- This is a situation where what the Bible has to say is direct.
- There is direct instruction about what to do on each of these situations.
a. Reading the Bible daily.
- There are a ton of reasons why we don’t read the Bible regularly: we don’t know where to start, we don’t have the time, we struggle to understand it sometimes, we just don’t want to.
- For many Christians, we say the Bible is great, but we don’t read it. And if we listen to what our self is telling us, we won’t read it.
- For the person who understands “deny yourself and take up your cross,” this is straightforward: I may not feel like doing it, but I am commanded to do it. So I do it.
- Now, I believe from personal experience as well as from the promise in the Word that the daily reading of the Word is going to be transformative. It’s something we’ll be glad that we did as we grow, but for most believers it’s not something that comes naturally.
b. Forgiving someone.
- This is a similar situation. The Bible is very clear that Jesus expects us to forgive. For most of us, this is not at all the path that we would naturally choose. We would much prefer revenge.
- Even though it’s not the path that we would choose naturally, we are to “deny yourself and take up your cross” when it comes to forgiving someone. I deny my desire for revenge and I pick up the cross of forgiveness.
- Now, I believe, again from personal experience, that we’re going to find the results of forgiving to be much better than the results of pursuing revenge. Just for one thing, our heart can be filled with peace instead of resentment.
- But we have to deny ourselves – our natural desires and inclinations – in order to see that.
c. Giving financially to the Kingdom.
- There are a lot of reasons why we can’t give generously to the Kingdom: we’ve got kids in the house, we don’t have enough money, we only have one income.
- It’s clear, though, that God expects us give to support the church and the Kingdom. There are a lot of reasons why: from the obvious practical need for money to take care of expenses to the need for us to have trust of God for our financial needs.
- So we need to “deny ourselves and take up our cross” by putting aside our inclination to hoard our money for our own expenses and instead trust that Jesus has a better financial plan.
2. Example: Choosing a career.
- This gets a little more complicated because there is nowhere in Scripture that says, “You shall work as a carpenter” or whatever. Obviously the different choices for occupation are almost as varied as number of people pursuing it.
- While there is not a direct Scripture to apply, there are still things to consider:
a. The job cannot be something immoral or that requires me to do things immoral.
b. The job needs to make enough money to support my family.
c. I need to consider a career goal knowing that the accumulation of money is not the ultimate goal of my life.
d. I need to understand that our primarily legacy lies in the people’s lives that we touch.
e. I need to know that I have spiritual gifts as well as natural abilities that will color what I should do.
- All five of these have Scripture to back them up.
- When I am pursuing the right career choice, none of those provide a direct answer, but they do color what I am inclined to choose.
WHAT IS MY MAIN CONCERN? Is it “Do I want to?” or “Is it Jesus’ leading?”
- Wrong question:
a. “Is this easy?”
b. “Do I want to?”
c. “Is this what I want?”
- Right question:
a. “Is this Jesus’ leading?”
b. “Is this Jesus’ guidance?”
c. “Is this what the Bible tells me to do?”
- Jesus promised that we could experience abundant life (John 10:10). That doesn’t happen by accident. It happens when we choose to follow Him and pursue all that He has for us.
- The point that some are at this morning: we want to experience Jesus’ abundant life, but we don’t like a lot of what Jesus tells me that I’m supposed to be doing. You’ve got to trust that He knows what He’s talking about and follow Him.
