We’re going to be talking about four letter words that, when used here in the Church make us cringe, raise an eyebrow or we shy away from because they make us uncomfortable. And I’m not talking about curse words, although we might give a similar reaction. I’m talking about spiritual disciplines.
I truly believe the four things we’re going to talk about in this series, these four letter words, are oftentimes desired in our lives. But too often they are dodged because we don’t understand them, we don’t know what God wants from them, or we’ve been misinformed about them. So my prayer is that out of this series, we would each gain a new passion, a new desire to live out these disciplines in the way God has designed for our lives.
Take a quick poll to set up an illustration. Just for men today.
1. Men, by show of hands, how many of you are married?
2. How many of you married men consider yourselves to be romantic by nature?
3. Harder to be honest with this next one. Married men, how many of you became less romantic after you got married?
Now, I’m not saying this is a good thing, I’m just stating facts. For me, after I got married, I didn’t focus on romance as much as I should have or as much as I did when we were dating. I think a lot of guys suffer from that. For most of us it just happens naturally. It’s just the way we are wired. Now this is going to sound horrible, but as guys we are often task oriented people and competitive by nature. So, when we’re dating or when we’re engaged, the task is to win her heart. And when our girlfriends or our fiancés become our wife we default into victory mode. The task is complete. We won the heart. And when we get married in victory mode, we unfortunately no longer try as hard to win her heart.
Before Sabrina and I were married, I did a really good job of seeking her. Of finding out what she wanted or what she needed and doing those things for her for random or special occasions. The first birthday that Sabrina had while we were dating, I knew that she liked to cuddle with something while she slept. So I bought her a new stuffed animal. I gave it to her with a card that said something like this. “When you’re feeling lonely or scared, just hold this bear and think about me. I’ll be there for you. These 5 words I swear to you. When you breathe I wanna be the air for you……” Bon Jovi goes a long way with the ladies. And I probably also stole a line from Bryan Adams…. P.S. – everything I do, I do it for you.
Another occasion Sabrina was talking about how she loved to read in a rocking chair. She didn’t have one. I didn’t have a lot of money, but I saved up some money from a job I had. I went and bought a used rocking chair and loaded it up in the back of my parent’s minivan. I went over to her house. Blind folded Sabrina, walked her down, opened up the back doors of that mini-van (pretty sure Chicago’s greatest hits were playing) and I undid the blind fold and there was the rocking chair and she was overwhelmed with gratitude for these things I was doing for her. Those are the kinds of things I did for Sabrina before we were married; the ways I sought her and served her. As I said, after we got married I didn’t do such a good job of that. Not that I loved her less or cared about her more when we were dating. It just didn’t seem as important as it did before. If you haven’t caught on, the first couple of years of our marriage I wasn’t the greatest husband. If you asked Sabrina now, I think she would say I’ve turned things around dramatically. But to be honest, God had to do a work in my heart to get me over myself and start seeking, serving and spoiling my wife. Not so I could win her heart. I already had her heart. It’s what she deserved and it’s the way God called me to treat her regardless of who she is… whether she’s my wife or not. So God changed that in my heart and I believe I’m totally different today than I was when we got married. Now, I keep an Evernote file on my iPhone that syncs with my computer and my iPad. There’s a note in there called Sabrina’s favorite things. And if we’re driving down the road or at the mall shopping and she says in passing “I’d love to go there” or “I’d love to have that”, I put it in my iPhone notes and keep track of when I can give her those things. Right now there are 21 things that she’s mentioned or alluded to.
For the first couple years we were married, let’s just say I didn’t keep a file on things my wife wanted or needed. Sabrina got pregnant with our first child, Jonah in the Fall of 2000. At that point in our lives, our house did not have a dishwasher, so Sabrina cleaned the kitchen, did all the dishes for every meal. Now, those are some of the things I do for her every day in a way to serve her and model for my children what a man should do for a woman. When Sabrina is pregnant, she is sick all the time. So I soon learned after her getting pregnant that the kitchen doesn’t get cleaned as much. And if I cleaned it, it would cut into my TV time. So it was apparent that something needed to happen. Sabrina’s birthday was right around the corner, a week before Christmas, so I did what any good husband would do. I spent a lot of time shopping. I spent a lot of money on my wife that year. I worked hard to find just the right thing for her. Her birthday & Christmas came around and I gave her the present and I was shocked and hurt that her reaction wasn’t just a little more appreciative; when I gave her a dishwasher for the kitchen and a TV for the kitchen counter. Romance personified
There’s nothing wrong with buying a dishwasher or a TV for the kitchen. Normally they would’ve been a great gift. The only thing is it wasn’t what my wife wanted. It wasn’t what she needed. In fact, at the time, it only benefitted me. And that’s exactly how I think we approach many of these disciplines we are talking about in this series. Specifically this first discipline we are talking about today. That’s the attitude we have. Here’s the first 4 letter word – PRAY.
That’s how we often approach prayer. We don’t pray in a way that God wants us to and we really only pray if it benefits us. In fact, for a lot of us, the only times we pray is when we want something from God. So if that’s our approach to prayer, I think it leads to a great big question.
How does God want me to pray? Main Scripture: I Kings 18:41-46
Before we go further, I don’t understand everything about prayer and we’re not going to cover everything about prayer in this sermon. There are things the Bible says about prayer that flat out confuse me. Three times in the span of 2 chapters in the Gospel of John, Jesus says things about prayer that I don’t understand. I believe it, but I don’t understand it. For instance:
John 15:7 – “But If you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted!”
John 15:16, “I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name.”
John 16:23, “At that time you won’t need to ask me for anything. I tell you the truth, you will ask the Father directly, and he will grant your request because you use my name.”
Those are 3 out of a number of other scriptures that talk about prayer and the results of prayer that I don’t understand. I cannot explain. Here’s one thing I know for certain. Jesus expects us to pray. Jesus said on numerous occasions, “When you pray.” Not if you pray, or when you want to pray, but WHEN you pray. He considered prayer to be a normal discipline in the lives of believers. Next to fasting, which we’re also going to talk about in this series, prayer might be the most misunderstood, underutilized discipline in the church; and it’s not like the Bible doesn’t talk about it. The Bible’s loaded with verses on prayer. It’s a massive subject that we’re just touching the surface of. I did a quick search online or verses that talk about prayer and there were 438. Our problem is not that the Bible doesn’t talk about prayer; our problem is that we don’t pursue it. When it comes to prayer we say things like, “It doesn’t work” or “I don’t know how” or “I don’t have time to pray.” And when we say things like that it just shows how much we misunderstand prayer.
Psalm 37:4 “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.
We hear verses like that and the ones we read earlier from Jesus and oftentimes it causes us to view prayer as a way to get God to do what we want. To give us what we want. Prayer’s not about getting God to do what we want, prayer is about getting what God wants in our hearts. Psalm 37:4 actually means when we delight ourselves in God, He plants within our hearts, what we should desire. He gives us our hearts desire. So we start desiring the thing that He wants. That changes everything. Do you realize there are times when God doesn’t give us what we want, what we ask for, because what we’re asking for will take the place of Him in our hearts? As the great theologian Garth Brooks said, “Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers.”
James 4:2-3 “Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you do ask you don’t receive it for your motives are all wrong. You want only what will bring you pleasure.”
I Thessalonians 5:17 – we hear two words, Pray continually. I hear people all the time in the church say, I don’t really have time to pray, so I pray all the time. Do you have a time where all you do is pray? Where God gets your undivided attention? It’s a huge subject. We did a whole series on it in 2010. We’re focusing on some principles in our prayers. I believe there’s a way that God wants us to pray. It has nothing to do with the words we use. It’s not the addition of words that God’s looking for that we use in our prayers; it’s the attitudes of our hearts. Prayer is our lifeline to God. It’s our connection to Him. People say, “We tried this, and we tried that… I guess all we can do now is pray”, as if prayer is the last resort. Prayer is not the last resort; it’s our only real option!
We just need to know how God wants us to pray. In I Kings 18, we’re going to read part of the story of the prophet Elijah. Great picture of what I believe are the 4 keys to praying in a way that God desires. They aren’t the only things that should be in our prayer lives and aren’t the only thing that the Bible talks about. But for today, and in this text, this will begin to explain what God wants from us in prayer. In Chapter 18, it had been 3 years since a drought had hit the land of Israel. Elijah predicted, even commanded this drought to come. And in I Kings 17, God told Elijah to go present himself to King Ahab and tell him that He was going to soon send rain. So Elijah went to Ahab. Elijah and 850 prophets of Baal and Ashera had a showdown on the top of Mt. Carmel to see whose God was the real God. The prophets and Elijah both set up sacrifices and God sent down fire from heaven and consumed Elijah’s sacrifice signifying that He had the one true God. That led up to here in Chapter 18, where we’re going to catch a glimpse of the prayer life of the great prophet Elijah. Now I know how we operate. Some of us are going to say, “Well, that’s Elijah, the prophet of God, the hero of the Bible, how can I compare my prayer life to Elijah?”
James 5:17 “Elijah was as human as we are, and yet when he prayed earnestly that no rain would fall, none fell for three and a half years!”
James was saying there’s nothing special about Elijah. He believed in God and he prayed. And I believe he prayed in a way that God wants us to pray. With four principles that should inhabit our prayer lives. And when we put these things into practice and take our prayer life seriously, we’ll start to see God do things in our lives, in the lives of those around us and in our churches that we only ever dreamed about seeing.
I Kings 18:41 “Then Elijah said to Ahab, ‘Go get something to eat and drink, for I hear a mighty rainstorm coming!’”
That’s a bold thing to say. There hadn’t been a drop of moisture in over 3 years. He’s kind of going out on a limb here. Maybe he should’ve started with “I think it might sprinkle later on today” or “tomorrow morning, maybe there’ll be some dew on the ground.” In that one statement Elijah models for us, the 1st principle I believe God wants in our prayers.
1. Expectantly
Ladder illustration throughout sermon – the top is the most that God could do. Elijah prayed to the top rung of the ladder. Elijah’s prayer was based on the promise of God, not just the potential of what God could do (expectant). The higher we climb the ladder, the tighter we cling to Jesus (earnest).
Elijah was able to tell Ahab that a mighty rainstorm was coming because he prayed expectantly. He believed God was going to come through. But more than he believe God would come through, he believed God would do what he said he would do. Elijah’s prayer was based on the promise of God not just the potential of what God could do. Elijah’s prayer was based on who God is, not just what God is able to do. The potential of what God can do is unlimited. It’s the promise of God though, that helps us to pray expectantly. Believing God for what he said he could and would do. God told Elijah to tell Ahab, “I will soon send rain.” Elijah knew that if God was going to send rain, he wasn’t going to pray for some sprinkles or some dew in the morning. He would expect some mighty rainstorm. He prayed for the most God could do based on the message he had received. He prayed earnestly, expectantly. He prayed boldly. The only way we’re able to pray expectantly, is based on the promises of God. And we find his promises in his Word. I believe there’s a direct correlation between our effort to be in the Word and the expectancy of our prayers. Psalm 139:2 – “your promises are backed by the honor of your name.” We find out who God is and what he promises in his word. And the more our prayers are based on the promises of God and who He is and the power He has, the bigger and the bolder our prayers will be. You might have an addiction (top rung prayer). You think you’ll never be able to overcome it. You need to pray the promises of Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. You may be struggling with believing that God’s presence is with you as a Christian. You might need to pray the promise of Joshua 1:5 “I will never leave you nor forsake you”. You might have a temptation you think you’ll never escape or overcome. You might need to pray the promise of I Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God’s faithful. He will always provide a way for escape. He’ll never let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.” You might need God to provide something in your life. You might need to pray the promise of Philippians 4:19 “God will provide all your needs according to his riches in glory”. You may be overwhelmed with the pressure of life, the weight of this world. Wondering, does God even care? You should pray the promise of I Peter 5:7 which says, “Cast your cares upon God for He cares about you”. The Bible is loaded with promises that when partnered with God’s power causes us to pray expectantly. Believing him for the most he can do based on the message that He gives.
Those promises and the countless others in scripture, those are for Believers; those that are following Jesus. There are some prayers he won’t answer or even hear. Psalm 66:18 “If I have not confessed the sin in my heart the Lord would not have listened” Proverbs 28:9 “God detests the prayers of those who ignore the law” I Peter 3:7 – if we husbands don’t treat our wives the way we are called to, our prayers will be hindered. There’s only one prayer of a Christian with un-confessed sin. There’s only one prayer of a non-Christian that God has promised to hear. Forgive me. It’s the only prayer God’s promised to hear among people that have things between them and Him. Forgive me. Pray expectantly, but don’t expect God to even hear your prayer if you’re keeping things between you and Him.
I Kings 18:42, “So Ahab went to eat and drink. But Elijah climbed to the top of Mount Carmel and bowed low to the ground and prayed with his face between his knees.”
Some commentaries say that Elijah would have gotten on the ground and put his forehead on the ground with an attitude of complete surrender. It’s not about the posture of prayer; it’s about the principle in it. How does God want us to pray?
2. Earnestly
How do we know he was praying earnestly? We believe that earnestness was a normal part of his prayer life. Because we already read James 5:17 – when he prayed, no rain fell. And in verse 16 is says, “The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” The problem for us is that we think of earnest as the length of time, or the words we use or the way we pray. Earnestness is not found in our ability to pray, it’s found in the attitude of our prayers. A prayer in one moment can be just as earnest as a prayer prayed for a lifetime. It’s about the temperature of my heart toward God. Earnest, in the dictionary means showing sincere and intense conviction. It’s why praying expectantly is so key in our prayers. The bigger our prayers are the more earnest our prayers will be. The more we climb the ladder of prayer the more tightly we cling to Jesus. “God, I’m not going to let go of you, or the promise of what you said you could do. No matter how you answer it, I’m never letting go of you.” Praying isn’t about getting more of what we want, it’s about getting more of the God we need.
Fear of heights illustration – Radio Tower workers climbing 1,768 feet tall. From this height you can see 55 miles to the horizon. Majority of the climb is free climb – no safety lines. The only time a safety line is used is when they stop to rest of when they reach the top to work. That is crazy!!
When I think of earnest prayers, that’s what I think of. In the same way my hands would be clinging to the rungs of the ladder on a steep climb is the same way I must cling to Jesus. It’s only in Him that my prayers will be fulfilled. Whether I receive what I’m asking for or not, the farther I climb up the ladder of prayer, the more I cling to Jesus. Why do you think God wants us to pray bigger prayers? Because the bigger the prayers we pray, the more we hang onto him.
I Kings 18:43-44, “Then he said to his servant, ‘Go and look out toward the sea.’ The servant went and looked, then returned to Elijah and said, ‘I didn’t see anything.’ Seven times Elijah told him to go and look. Finally the seventh time, his servant told him, ‘I saw a little cloud about the size of a man’s hand rising from the sea.’”
The Bible doesn’t say how long this lasted. Seven times, Elijah sent the servant to see if he could see anything. Elijah was going to keep on praying until God answered the prayer. If it had to be 70 or 700 or 7,000 times, Elijah’s prayer was based on the promise of God and he wasn’t going to stop praying until he found His promise.
3. Endlessly
Many times we stop praying too soon. God wants us to pray endlessly. Maybe God doesn’t answer our prayers right away, because He knows we’ll stop seeking Him if He does. If He immediately answers, then eventually I’ll stop seeking Him and only what He can give me. There are times that God delays His response so we keep on pursuing Him. I think one day there will be some people who ask God, “Why did you never answer my prayer?” And He’ll ask them, “Why did you stop praying?” Pray endlessly.
I Kings 18:44b-46, “Then Elijah shouted, ‘Hurry to Ahab and tell him, ‘Climb into your chariot and go back home. If you don’t hurry, the rain will stop you!’’ And soon the sky was black with clouds. A heavy wind brought a terrific rainstorm, and Ahab left quickly for Jezreel. Then the Lord gave special strength to Elijah. He tucked his cloak into his belt and ran ahead of Ahab’s chariot all the way to the entrance of Jezreel.”
4. Escalating
If I were Elijah, this might be my reaction when I saw the cloud the size of a fist. “It’s just a tiny little cloud. God I’m asking for a rainstorm. There’s no rain coming from that cloud!” But Elijah saw a puny little cloud and it lead him to believe that God’s promise was on the way. One of the biggest benefits to my prayer life has been praying in steps or stages what I call escalating prayers. When we pray in steps or stages our prayer life is infused with energy. We are encouraged to keep on praying; to pray endlessly. Because we see progress in our prayer lives. Instead of praying, ‘God free me from this addiction for the rest of my life.’ Instead of ‘free me forever’, why not start with ‘As a first step of being free from that addiction, help me not to give into that for 1 day’ and then another day, then another day, etc. Until you find your freedom in Jesus. (Escalating) Or instead of praying for your husband to be saved (which is based on a promise of God for all men to come to repentance), what if you prayed “God, as a first step toward my husband’s salvation, I pray he would come to church 1 time.” Then, the next step, next step, next step, etc. Until they experience Salvation. Instead of “God, I pray that you’d help us get out of debt.” You might pray, “God help us to tithe first.” Because until you honor God with your resources, he will never honor you. Next Step, Next Step…. Freedom.
If you’re praying for God to help you get out of debt, more than likely God isn’t going to unload a truck of money, but he will give you discipline to use your money the way the Bible has commanded you to. When you start praying in steps or stages, you’ll start to see clouds the size of a man’s fist as a coming rainstorm. Until eventually the sky is black with clouds and God’s promise is fulfilled.
What’s one thing you could pray for this week expectantly, earnestly, endlessly and escalating(ly)? What’s the one thing burning in your heart that you could pray every day for this week? (Card with opportunities for community prayer with ladder on front of card as reminder)
Every hour that I’m awake, set a timer at 4 after every hour, set a reminder or timer to remind you to pray. Every hour on FB and Twitter at 4 after the hour “Don’t forget to pray.”
Link to sermon: http://www.elementweb.net/?page=media&SermonID=30&series=11
