Resolving conflict
James chapter 4:1-4:10
Introduction-
Turn to James chapter 4:1-4:10
In these verses James addresses two issues- Our issue of selfishness and why we have so many disagreements that explode into conflicts that need resolution. The second thing he addresses is our selfishness and why we need to surrender ourselves to God.
(1) Fighting (2) Surrendering to God.
Fighting is sure not new- Countries, Nations, people fight all the time.
Companies spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to make sure their employees get trained on anger management, conflict, resolution, employee stress, keeping their hands to themselves, keeping quiet and not becoming a disgruntled employee.
What causes quarrels and conflict? Envy!
Envy defined – a feeling of anger towards someone because they have something you want. (Repeat)
It is why countries go to war, it is why people go to war!
(2) tells us that some lust, hate, murder to have what they want.
I like what you got, I don’t like that you have it!
Illustration
Most of you have heard of the Hatfield’s and the McCoy’s. The two famous families from Kentucky, but most do not know why this feud lasted over a decade, or why at least 12 people died. It was over a pig, that’s right, a pig!.
It started over a pig
It turned into timber rights
Escalated because one Hatfield was interested in a McCoy
Until bullets fly and years later they don’t even remember why they hate each other. They just do!
Fussing and fighting isn’t new. One of the first fights in the Bible is Cain getting mad at his brother Abel and killing him out of jealousy.
Just pick up the newspaper
Just turn on the news.
There is conflict everywhere.
Okay, what is the cause of conflict?
James doesn’t pull any punches- it comes from a battle within you. When you don’t get something that you want, you are ready to fight.
What starts as a spark, we pour gasoline on, until it is a full-fledged fight and a battle of desires.
We battle against other people
We battle against God.
Churches, a place of worship, a place where God’s people gather has been a place of conflict.
Denomination split
People leaving churches because so and so didn’t say hi to me.
Divorce within the church.
Board and pastor fight, pastor and congregation fight.
Christian homes become a place of turmoil
Hurt feelings
Broken relationships.
Divorce, people not talking to one another.
If I have not struck a cord yet, give me a minute. Because conflict hits every level of society.
Catch this,
This happens because of a battle that goes on inside of us.
(3) “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”
Ask what? Ask for God’s help!
You don’t receive- why? Because you have wrong motives… it is all about you!
Oh God….fix that husband of mine.
Oh God…fix that wife of mine.
Change my boss, straighten out my neighbors, give me better parents, change my kids,
It is everybody else’s fault!
One time I talked to a couple because all they did was fight! When I approached them, the husband said we fight all the time, but we love each other! If you love each other, stop the fighting and find resolution instead of conflict.
Some live for the drama and attention! You wonder why God has not responded?
Because you are asking with the wrong motive.
Begin with yourself. What can you do to resolve the conflict?
What part do you playing finding happy ground.
“Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God, or do you think scripture says without reason that the Spirit he causes to live in us envies intensely.”
When the battle is between you and the Lord, the Spirit of God in your life and the battle of flesh and selfishness. If the Spirit of God does not change us, don’t look for Him to put his okay on our bad behavior or attitude.
“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
What is the cure for conflict (v7-8)
“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands , you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”
Boom, there it is!
Submission to God, surrender! Two of our favorite words.
As a kid, we played the mercy game. You would bend back someone’s finger until they surrendered. That is how we view God, pulling us back, taking all our fun until we cry uncle or surrender to Him.
Christ wants us to submit our lives to him, to submit is the better life! It comes with blessings, and less heartache, it comes with stability and direction.
We are on a journey from our first breathe to our very last, what you do in between determines eternity and quality of life we live here (repeat)
The Scripture is clear:
Submit to God
Come near to God.
Keep our hands clean.
Humble ourselves before God.
Promises of God:
Helps us resist the devil
He will draw near to us.
He will help us keep our hands clean.
He will lift us up.
We would all have to agree, if we would listen to God for directions, we would see more of God’s promises.
We don’t want to surrender or submit to anything or anyone. Obedience is a spiritual discipline that allows God to work in our lives.
We agree to God that we cannot fix it ourselves, we have messed it up, we need His help to do it.
Devil has tactics, God has weapons to help us accomplish that!
So if we are going to submit to God- submit is a military word that means to put in proper order or rank, to subject oneself to another, to obey.
So in every conflict, we are going to have to run it by the Lord and make sure it is His will and not our will that will get done.
Those that spread rumors are gossipers.
Those that start trouble are trouble makers.
Those that tame their tongue are peace makers.
Those that humble themselves, the Lord will lift up.
Which do you want to be?
Let me close this morning,
Conflict is all around us at every level of our lives. Some we control and some we don’t.
God word is clear
Come before Him broken hearted.
Come humble before the Lord and He will lift us up.
Tame our tongues and allow God to handle situations bigger than we are.
You want God’s presence in your life? Humble yourself before Him and surrender those conflicts to Him.
God loves to help hurting people! God loves to help those that ask for His help.
We all want peace with God, don’t we?
We all want to live at peace with each other right! Turn to the one next to you and say “I want to live at peace with you.”
The cure for avoiding arguments is humility.
“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.” Col 3:15
Bruce Larson tells how he helped people struggling to surrender their lives to Christ:
"For many years I worked in New York City and counseled at my office any number of people who were wrestling with this yes-or-no decision. Often I would suggest they walk with me from my office down to the RCA Building on Fifth Avenue. In the entrance of that building is a gigantic statue of Atlas, a beautifully proportioned man who, with all his muscles straining, is holding the world upon his shoulders. There he is, the most powerfully built man in the world, and he can barely stand up under this burden. ’Now that’s one way to live,’ I would point out to my companion, ’trying to carry the world on your shoulders. But now come across the street with me.’
On the other side of Fifth Avenue is Saint Patrick’s Cathedral, and there behind the high altar is a little shrine of the boy Jesus, perhaps eight or nine years old, and with no effort he is holding the world in one hand. My point was illustrated graphically.
We have a choice. We can carry the world on our shoulders, or we can say, ’I give up, Lord; here’s my life. I give you my world, the whole world.’"
Attitudes are contagious, is yours worth catching?
Amen.
