Bricks That Build A Successful Marriage
1 Peter 3:7
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Introduction:
1. I’ve heard it said, “A marriage may be made in heaven, but the maintenance must be done on earth.”
2. If people would simply get back to God’s Word, marriage could be the sweet, satisfying relationship that it was intended to be. A good marriage happens by each marriage partner simply meeting each other’s needs.
3. Men and women are different, and their needs are different. When you take time to find out what those needs are, and then start trying to meet those needs, marriage can be a little taste of heaven on earth.
4. Here in 1 Peter 3:7, God is going to give husbands some spiritual bricks that they can lay to build a successful marriage. If your marriage is struggling, there is no need to throw it on the trash heap. Simply go back, take the bricks here in 1 Peter, and begin rebuilding your marriage.
The first brick is communication.
1. Notice that Peter says, “…dwell with them according to knowledge…”
• Ignorance is dangerous – especially in marriage – and it is no excuse.
2. Peter says, “Dwell with them…” Husbands, we have to get to know our wives. They need and thrive on loving communication.
• One survey showed that the average husband and wife spend 37 minutes per week in actual communication. Is it any wonder that our marriages are falling apart in America? The brick of communication has never been laid.
3. A lady desires to be with someone that she feels cares about her and for her. When meaningful, daily communication takes place, she feels a bond and an intimate closeness to that person.
4. When a woman has to talk to her husband through a newspaper, or magazine, or over ESPN blaring away, she may someday give up trying. This is a bad day because this is when the drifting apart begins.
• When they go to a marriage counselor and she begins telling how she feels, the husband says, “I never knew you felt that way.” That is a confession that communication broke down somewhere along the line.
5. God made your wife as a special creation. There is no one else like her in the world. To know your wife means you know the answers to the complex questions about her. What are her deepest desires and concerns? What does she fear the most? What does she need from you?
• How do you find these things out? It takes time, it takes talking, it takes listening. When a husband really knows his wife, it gives her security and turns romance into a deep, life-long love.
6. Aren’t you glad God didn’t leave us in the dark? Aren’t you glad He has communicated with us? He gave us His Word and sent His Son into this world so we could know the way to heaven. God expects us to also dwell with our wives according to knowledge.
The second brick is honor.
1. Peter says, “Giving honor unto the wife…” This means that a husband considers his wife a valuable being – a precious treasure, worthy of high esteem. This is what the word “honor” means – something that is highly valued.
• It is the same Greek word translated “precious” in 1 Peter 1:19 referring to the blood of Christ.
2. “Weaker vessel” means that wives are physically and emotionally different, but it does not mean less valuable. A husband is to treat her like a beautiful, expensive, fragile vase – a precious treasure.
3. Remember when you dated? You were courteous, polite, and thoughtful. When you got engaged she thought, “He’s the perfect gentleman.” After being married a few years, she’s thinking, “He’s more like Grizzly Adams.”
4. After a few years, a husband can be rude, obnoxious, and inconsiderate. Instead of treating his wife like a precious vase, she gets treated more like a linebacker for the Green Bay Packers. She’s thinking, “Where is that honor and affection from when we dated?”
5. How does a man honor his wife? He respects her feelings, thoughts, and opinions. He lifts her up publicly and compliments her. He tells her often that he loves her, writes her love notes, and thanks her for the little things.
6. Our wives should know that they are #1 in our lives (outside of our relationship with Christ). Nothing supersedes your relationship with her.
• She needs to know and feel that there is nothing else so precious that you wouldn’t give it up for her.
7. Husbands – we must be the thermostat, setting the spiritual and emotional temperature for our marriage. But remember, your wife is the thermometer. She will let you know what the temperature is!
8. Whatever she senses that you have put ahead of her, she will probably resent it and fight against it.
9. Men, your wife needs your honor and affection. It is what cements your relationship with her and shows her that you really love her. Without it, she feels alienated from you.
10. In the Song of Solomon, chapter 4 is the wedding night. Before he touches her in an intimate way, he praises her seven times.
The third brick is spiritual leadership.
1. Peter says, “That your prayers be not hindered.” Notice, he just assumes that husbands and wives are praying together. But very few do.
2. Husbands, God has called us to be the spiritual leaders of our homes. If we are not, we cannot expect God to do a mighty work in our marriage and in our home.
3. Here are some practical things to do:
• Pray with your wife.
? This doesn’t mean there won’t be tough and difficult times. But God’s Word is pure – if we call on God, He will help us.
? Over the last 40 years, more books have been written on marriage than in all the preceding 2,000 years of church history. We have all the “how-to’s,” but homes are still falling apart. The real thing that will keep you together through the hard times is prayer – pure and simple!
• Read the Bible together as a family.
• Lead the way to church.
? This should never be a discussion. It is automatic, and Dad is leading the way. He wants to go and learn from God’s Word.
• Keep ungodly influences away from the home.
? Dad, you are responsible to God for the atmosphere of your home (TV, movies, music, language, reading materials, computer, etc.).
? Set a godly example for your children to follow. The most valuable thing you can hand down to your children is a godly heritage.
• Never undermine your wife to the children.
? When you do this, you destroy your kids and also make your wife’s life miserable. When Mama says “no” to the children, they cannot go to Dad and get a “yes.” This will destroy your children. You and your wife have to work together as a team in unity.
4. Men, we must be the spiritual leaders. If you know Christ, you can be a man that your wife and kids will look up to, respect, trust, and follow. Through Christ, you can be the spiritual leader and godly influence God wants you to be.
