Self Help
Ephesians 4:22-24
Have you ever had difficulty trying to change a habit? Human beings are creatures of habit. The 19th century psychologist William James observed, "All our life ... is but a mass of habits." We develop habits and tend to continue acting as we have acted in the past. Habits not only create routine in our lives, they create safety and security as well. Like a the Mississippi River flowing through Louisiana, the longer a habit continues, the more deeply it becomes ingrained, and the harder it is to change. This is true of all habits. Habits are your mind's way of taking care of the little things that you have to do every day, but you don't want to have to think about. Imagine how frustrating life would be if you had to think about all of these things every day: Where the garbage can in the kitchen is, where the light switches are located or where are the numbers on the phone or the letters on a keyboard located? Because these things do not change very often, your habit learning system takes care of them for you. That way, you can think about more important things. There are good habits which enhance your life and there are bad habits that harm your life like, your health, your relationships, your career and even your life.
The journey of faith is a call to change your habits to those of God. Paul writes in Ephesians 4:22-24, “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” In other words, major changes must occur when we are converted to serve God. Old practices, habits and attitudes must be replaced by new ones. We must eliminate bad habits like foul language, uncontrolled temper, gambling, drugs, gossip, lying, pornography, sexual promiscuity, and replace them with good habits like Bible study, prayer, love, faith, patience, worship, giving, serving, etc.
Since the first sin of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, people have had a host of bad habits and sins to deal with, sins that come with living in a fallen world. The reality is that people need help in living a healthy and Godly manner. One answer has been the self help books which can be found in their own section at any bookstore, even in many Christian bookstores. Thousands of new self-help books are published annually and it’s a booming business. Forbes Magazine writes that Americans spent a total $21 billion last year on self-improvement books, CDs, seminars, coaching and stress-management programs. Self help gurus seems to be everywhere. Oprah, Suze Orman, Anthony Robbins and Dr. Phil are everywhere, blanketing bookstores and the airwaves. Covering everything from personal finance to spiritual renewal — often all at the same time — they fill a deep-seated need to feel like we have control over our lives and are growing and improving them. One problem is the lack of proof that they actually help others. The recommended techniques may be good, but no one ever tests them. Sadly, 95% or more of those books are published without any scientific evidence of their effectiveness as stand-alone, self-help materials. And Americans aren't asking for test results either. They just buy and follow the instructions blindly and the buyers of books, speeches, tapes and seminars continue to spend. Self help materials are expected to grow annually by more than 6.2%.
The church has not been immune to this cultural movement of self help. So often, we see a heavily psychologized version of Christianity that promotes the idea that you can help yourself. Many people believe, “God helps those who help themselves” is from God’s word and they follow it religiously when in fact, it was stated by Ben Franklin. Pastors have contributed to this idea of personal improvement through self help by providing inspirational sermons and uplifting recipes for successful living, community, consolation, encouragement and recovery – to meet your needs and satisfy your wants. Like the secular self-help gurus they promise personal growth, "recovery" and other worldly benefits. But the message is the same: through your own efforts, you can achieve salvation, healing, wholeness and personal growth. A generation ago, it was Robert Schuller and his “Hour of Power” whose message could be summed up by “the power of positive thinking.” Today it is Joel Osteen who teaches things like, “Do all you can to make your dreams come true” and “you can change your world” Regardless of the pastor, the message in many is the same: “It is all about your strength. You can do it.” Yes, God is important they say, but then they provide the tools to help yourself, leading people to rely on themselves for change and almost cutting God out of the picture.
It’s reflected in Bible study curriculum too. Here’s the title of one Bible study: “How to Change Yourself: A Bible Pattern for Self-Help and Self-Improvement.” The material starts with these words: “Becoming a Christian requires change. We must remove old habits and develop new ones. This study considers Bible principles to help us improve ourselves: faith, love, repentance, Bible study, prayer, avoiding temptation, and patience. God's word is the best source of guidance for self-help and motivation for self-improvement…. Let us study 12 specific, practical steps the Bible gives to show us how to change and improve our selves to become what God wants.” A shift has taken place in the church where people are encouraged to become empowered and take control of their own lives; when the Gospel has always been about surrendering one’s life to Christ, now in the name of Christ, we are to take control of our lives and change under our own efforts.
Another sign within the church of the self help mentality are ministries like “Celebrate Recovery” which is a Christian based 12 step recovery program for those living with addictions.
What is happening is that through ministries like this, more and more, it is not the Word of God that binds our hearts and minds in common unity, but rather our particular "dysfunction,” "addiction" or "need." Jim Owen writes, “The church is being fragmented into small groups centered on the group's common problem and often organized around the 12-step method…one often sees the mission of the church as meeting one's own particular "need," which in most cases is defined as "helping to control my 'problem' [never my sin] and work through the pain it causes me." In a narcissistic and self-centered world, we have become wrapped up in our selves and preoccupied with self improvement for our sake. In doing so, we defeat our purpose. You, and other Americans whose only hobbies are themselves,… In the US, Christianity has been absorbed into a mishmash of self-help programmes and therapies,
Perhaps the most popular Scripture today is Philippians 4:13: "I can do all things in him who strengthens me." A Lutheran Pastor in Dallas Texas who blogs under the name relieveddebtor writes, “But there is something that irks me about this verse being so popular. It's starting to feel a whole lot like inspirational, feel good, lollypop, band-aid Christianity. It's so attractive because it's so self-empowering. We've even managed to make our favorite Bible verses ultimately about us, and about achieving. Where is the cross? Where is the sacrifice? And what is it we're supposed to be achieving, anyway?....Jesus clearly told his disciples to carry their own cross, not exactly what we would call self-help. Indeed, the common refrain of biblical repentance, of changing direction, of living a life of service worthy of God, speaks not of self-aggrandizement, but of self-sacrifice, But I think it's worth asking if faith is really worth much if all it is a motivation to succeed. It's great if we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us….But if all things really only means material success, it is making Philippians 4:13 a terrible idol, and an unwilling companion to our sin.”
How do we get out of the self help trap as followers of Jesus? First, realize you can’t help yourself. Self help isn’t what the Christian faith or the Christian life is about. The Gospel is not a self help book and Christianity is not a self help religion. It is a book that says, “You can’t do it yourself, so Christ did it for you.” It says we are weak but made strong through Christ. It states that we can do all things through Christ (that is, the will of God and the work of Jesus Christ), who is the source of our strength. We find within the pages of the Gospel that in our weakness, we are made strong only through Christ. Christianity is not “Self help”; it is instead, God helping, equipping, and empowering us as believers.
Second, remember it’s not about you. "I'm Third." It came from Kanakuk, a Christian sports camp in Missouri. There’s the story of a young man who went to college. A few days after the young man arrived in school, he received a small framed motto appeared above his desk with these words upon it: "I'm Third." Everyone coming into the room was attracted by the uniqueness of this motto, and many asked what it meant. The young man would always reply, "I will tell you what that means the week I graduate from college." Finally the last week of his senior year came, and his friends came for their answer of what the "I'm Third" meant. He said, “when I was leaving home for college, my parents told me they were anxious that I should do well in school; that I should make the athletic teams; that I should be popular, but that there were some things which they did not want me to sacrifice for these things; and they were not anxious that I should be a great star or headliner, but they were exceedingly anxious that I should remember to keep God first in my life, the others second, and to remember, 'I'm Third.’ I have tried to keep in my life." There was a silence among his friends and then they, too, understood why he had been chosen president of his class, president of the YMCA, and voted the most popular man in school. If anyone needed his friendship, he was always there. No freshman ever came to him with a problem, no matter how insignificant, that he was not willing to help; because he had in his life one motto: "God first, others second, and I'm third." Jesus put it this way, When the teachers of the law ask Jesus, "What is the greatest commandment?" he responds, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself' " (Matt. 22:37-38).
Third, rely on the power of Jesus. The Christian's growing reliance on such methods as the 12 step program is a terrible admission about our lack of reliance on the reality and power of our Lord Jesus. Scripture offers us a far more excellent way than any 12-step method. Only in him is the power to change.
Fourth, recognize you are a new creation in Christ. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17 In his first letter to the church at Corinth, Paul lists many sinful behaviors that once characterized the Corinthians. Some had been sexually promiscuous, others had been adulterers, prostitutes, idolaters, thieves, greedy money-grubbers, drunkards, slanderers, and swindlers. Yet concerning this group, Paul says, "And that is what some of you were"—past tense. You were that but you are not that anymore. He goes on to say, "But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of God" ( 1 Cor 6:11), cleaned up, made straight, and set free, sanctified, and justified "in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." They were not "recovering" victims of any stripe. They are now new creations in Christ.
Christ didn’t die so that your relationships would be happier. He didn’t die to make sure your wish list prayer requests got answered. Christ didn’t die to make you god. Christ died to set you free. He died to give you new life. He died to infuse life and freedom into your very core. The Christian life is not about getting better; it’s about being completely different. It’s not about trying harder, it’s about letting go. It’s not about realizing your dreams, it’s about dying to self. It’s not about you. It’s about Him. It’s about what Christ has done in you so that then you can go out to share the Good News and helping others experience what Christ can do in their life. And when you live like you’re free, they can’t help but see: Jesus is alive, and He died to set you free. That’s not self help. It’s eternal life. It’s not self actualization. It’s total transformation. It’s not up and down, one step forward two steps back Christianity. It’s living in daily victory. It’s freedom in Jesus. Amen.
