Rebuilding Broken Families Pt. 4 February 24, 2013
Terminating the Termites
A In Odin, they were tearing down an old, majestic house I rode by hundreds of times while I was growing up.
1 I knew one of the guys tearing it down & I struck up a conversation. Why?
a Termites. The outside looked sound, solid in order.
aa The foundation, the frame had been rotted away.
bb The house could collapse at any moment... You’d never know it by looking at it.
b Driving away I thought, “How many homes are like that old house?” (The outer veneer looks solid/responsible, & inside it’s rotten with problems.)
aa The modern home has “termites” that eat away at the foundations of the family.
bb They look solid, happy, stable, but the inside is full of turmoil & hostility.
2 Satan has unleashed the power & resources of hell on the family & he knows that disruptions of the home yields three devastating results.
a The Word of God is blasphemed.
5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:5 (KJV)
5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. Titus 2:5 (NASB)
aa Blaspheme / dishonor means to speak lightly or profanely.
bb The bible is not taken seriously.
b The Prayers are Hindered.
7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 (NASB)
aa If a husband in Christ isn’t fulfilling his responsibilities towards his wife, God may not answer his prayers.
bb There is an interruption of all the promises of prayers heard & answered.
13 "Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.14 "If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it. John 14:13-14 (NASB)
c The next generation is robbed of a good & long life.
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.2 Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise),3 So that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth. Eph 6:1-3 (NASB)
aa The founder of Google & Facebook have est. an organization that will award monies to scientists, researchers, engineers who make advances in curing intractable diseases & extending human life. “Breakthrough Prize in Life Sciences”
bb Long life is extended by following His Word, obeying your parents.
3 I believe Satan laughs & mocks those trying to live the Christian life with things not right in their homes.
B A recent secular study showed the three major “causes” of divorce: incompatibility of temperament, mental cruelty & alienation of affection: Baptize them!
1 Incompatibility of temperament. (Drunkard)
a An alcoholic is a selfish person who has made the bottle God instead of God being God.
aa Self gratification becomes God.
bb The problem with alcoholism is basically a problem of selfishness: Nobody has it bad as them - self pity.
b 34 Jesus answered them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is the slave of sin. John 8:34 (NASB)
We call Alcoholism a disease, Jesus calls it an addiction / sin.
2 Mental Cruelty (Many meanings, but it can mean one of the parties is stingy) Finances after we baptize it.
a At the heart is self gratification! Couples in their greed for more wind up in debt / constantly arguing over money.
b The desire to please self is the enemy of the home.
3 Alienation of affection (Sexual Problems) Selfishness
a When lovemaking is just for self gratification, no tenderness / no effort to please your wife / husband, it’s simply a selfish desire.
b Some marriage partners will use sex as a weapon.
aa “I’ll go sleep on the couch,” until I get my way.
bb To withhold physical love for use sex as a “pay off” for getting your way is a prostitution of marriage.
cc Secret: This is selfishness & is the cause of much of the adultery today.
c (IL.) If the wife makes her husbands favorite meal, spreads it on the table, good plates.
aa He comes home from work, “You don’t treat me right, you’ve hurt my feelings.” She lists all his failures.
bb He sees that food but he can’t have any - How many meals do you think he will miss before he goes out to a restaurant? (Of course this example is ridiculous. No one would think of withholding food from a hungry person.)
cc There are many who withhold physical love from someone.
dd 3 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Cor 7:3-5 (NASB)
(Nevertheless Satan attacks the home on this front)
C The problems of alcohol, financial mismanagement & lack of sexual satisfaction are basically problems of selfishness.
1 Most divorces are due to one or both partners demanding their own way.
a The homes basic problem is a spiritual problem.
b The homes greatest enemy is selfishness.
2 How can we remedy this problem? Cure?
a The opposite of selfishness is love!
aa We are capable of living unselfishly due to a deep commitment to Jesus Christ.
bb (John 3.16) God’s kind of love is self giving & self sacrificing.
cc God gave His best, His Son as a lavish display of love.
b. 16 We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. 1 John 3:16 (NASB)
Says we perceive / understand love when we see the sacrifice of Jesus
aa We practice that love when we are willing to “lay our lives down” for others.
bb The only way we slay selfishness is for the love of God to be poured into a heart.
c 5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5 (NASB)
aa If you are a born again Christian you have the capacity to love self-sacrificially.
bb When the love of God is in your heart / home, there are weapons to fight with at your disposal to combat the enemies / termites of the home.
T.S. 1 Cor. 13 lists the contents in that armory to conquer the enemies of your family.
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails. 1 Cor 13:4-8 (NKJV)
1 Love is long suffering “Love suffers long...”
a Most families are inpatient / short with each other.
aa We’ll be patient with our bosses, customers, co-workers; Put up being treated badly from others.
bb When we get home we “snap” at our kids, spouse.
cc Sunday morning I believe the devil has a “hey day” in many Christian homes. (The H.S. has been quenched by the time they come up the stairs to church.)
b (IL) Joseph Parker (Famous pastor in Britain in the 1800s) said he was trying to win a man to Christ. The man said if Christianly couldn’t change his wife’s temper, it sure couldn’t save him.
aa A few hours later, the wife came weeping, begging Pastor Parker to go witness to her lost husband.
bb “I won’t do it & I don’t want you to mention your husband to me again until you learn to live as a Christian witness at the home.” - This moved her to prayer & repentance.
cc Later that week, the man came home & accidentally broke his wife’s favorite lamp. He was ready for the wrath he’d receive.
dd She came in & very patiently told her husband that it was all right - she hugged him, kissed him, & told him how glad she was that he was home. - Within a week he gave his heart to Jesus & was saved.
2 Love has a gentle touch “...and is kind...”
a The word means a kindness that acts.
aa Attentiveness to the little things, helpfulness, good manners.
bb Husbands: holding doors for their wife, carrying in groceries...
cc Wives: Consideration / thoughtfulness.
dd Children: Appreciation & helpfulness.
b Simply put, It’s letting the “Jesus life” shine through us.
aa IL. A man running through a busy airport knocks over kids small box of toys.
bb One man stops to help pick up the toys, “Mister, are your Jesus?”
c Our kind acts in the home should make us like Jesus.
3 Love is not suspicious “...love does not envy...”
a Means love isn’t jealous, not constantly “checking up on your mate.”
aa Love doesn’t suspect wrongdoing.
bb Partial blame I put on popular books / soap operas: Themes are adultery & unfaithfulness.
b Real love has confidence in the love of the mate.
c Even in the cases where there is unfaithfulness, the answer is fathful, forgiving, & sacrificial love.
4 Love Lifts Others “...does not parade it’s self, its not puffed up...”
a Greek: “Love is not a proud windbag”
aa It has a humble spirit, gives its place to another, serve without complaining.
bb Love will appreciate even the smallest favor.
b Many times, pride creates a man who is a hard hearted dictator; he exudes tension & hostility.
c Just as bad is a woman swaggering around that must rule or ruin any situation.
d Love should display a gentle Christ-like spirit.
5 Love has good manners “...does not behave rudely...”
a Greek: Etiquette: Family members treat one another with respect and good manners.
b (IL) Good-byes kisses, hello kisses, telephone calls if your going to be late, remembrance of special days.
c Love expresses itself in courtesy.
6 Love Holds No Grudges “...does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil. Does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth...”
a “Thinks no evil” literally: does not keep a mental record of wrong.
aa A selfish person loves to take out the books & remind their spouse of past failures.
bb Real love removes all past sin.
b “I can forgive you, but I can’t forget.” Real forgiveness & real lvoe erases the record.
aa Maybe heard about the man who said, “When my wife & I fuss she gets ‘historical!’ You mean hysterical. No I mean historical. She remembers everything I have ever done wrong!”
c Every family should make it a practice to forgive daily: and every member should memorize Eph. 4.31-32
31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you . Eph 4:31-32 (NASB)
7 Love succeeds “...love never fails...”
a The family that walks in pathway of Godly love may have problems, but they will not fail. - Nothing can stop love.
aa “I can’t stay in this marriage a moment longer.” - You don’t love without God’s love.
bb Love is going to win because it can endure faithfully until God brings an answer.
cc It can suffer for the salvation & transformation of a wayward partner.
b The homes enemy is selfishness.
aa The only weapon that defeats it is love.
bb The only way you can have that live is through Jesus Christ.
Conclusion
A We’ve identified three causes / termites that destroy the home.
1 Drunkards, Finances, Sexual Problems: Selfishness.
2 We’ve seen several weapons in the arsenal.
a Love is longsuffering
b Love has a gentle touch
c Love is not suspicious
d Love lifts others
e Love has good manners
f Love holds no grudges
g Love Succeeds
B I read a story years ago about a woman’s husband who went to work in the Philippine Islands.
1 One day he wrote his wife a letter,” I want a divorce. He was never coming back. He’d fallen in love with a native girl.”
a Years later, he grew ill & died, leaving the native girl with no support.
b The loving woman brought this girl to America and led her to Jesus.
aa She took care of her & today like a daughter to her.
bb Some would say she was crazy. I say love won.
c Love triumphed over the heartbreak of a broken marriage.
aa This woman’s husband had written her asking forgiveness before he died. Love triumphed over tragedy.
bb The love of Christ displayed on the cross is the answer to your families needs.
cc Will you accept His love? Share His love?
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