Rebuilding Broken Families 1 The Foundation Remains Feb. 3, 2013
A 18 Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."19 Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky , and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name.20 The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky , and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place.22 The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.23 The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman , Because she was taken out of Man ."24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Gen 2:18-25 (NASB)
1 The first social institution / union God established was the home / family unit with Adam & Eve reigning as king & queen of the earth: stewards of God’s creation.
a Satan’s first plan of attack was to come between husband & wife.
1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, "Indeed, has God said, 'You shall not eat from any tree of the garden'?"2 The woman said to the serpent, "From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat;3 but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, 'You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.' "4 The serpent said to the woman, "You surely will not die!5 "For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."6 When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings. Gen 3:1-7 (NASB)
aa Adam was off doing something else when he should have been with his wife.
bb Eve let some smooth talking snake in the grass talk her into eating forbidden fruit.
b To this day, the devil has persistently continued his attack on the first & primary social institution on the earth, the home.
2 We are witnessing the deterioration, dissolution, and destruction of the family.
a In some major cities there are more divorces granted than there are marriage licenses.
b Adolescent suicide rising; children / teenagers are insecure, run wild, godless, because there is no authority at home.
aa Family doesn’t communicate, talk...
bb Unsubmissive wives clamor for freedom / rights & give children over to the government to train.
cc If fathers are at home many have simply become boarders - give responsibilities to their wife.
c The average house in America doesn’t contain a home / family.
aa Homes are filled with heated arguments, icy silence, rebellion, nobody is happy, happy, happy.
bb Bibles been replaced by magazines, face time with God replaced by facebook, faith by credit cards, Christ is unwelcome or unknown.
d The situation is desperate, but not hopeless.
aa House can become a home, family can be rebuilt because the foundation still stands.
bb Family’s need to blow dust off the bible & recover the building plans.
B God has a fourfold purpose for family.
1 Spiritual Purpose.
27 God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Gen 1:27 (NASB)
a It takes a man & a woman to complete the image of God, “in the image of God created He them...”
aa From Him came the authority, strength & sacrifice of a husband / father.
bb From Him came the tenderness, resourcefulness, and the love of a mother.
b In Christian marriage we see the complete image of God.
2 Physical Purpose
24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. Gen 2:24 (NASB)
a Husband & wife are to delight each other physically.
b 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Cor 7:4-5 (NASB)
Gives a warning about the withholding of sex by either partner - selfish, fraud.
aa The bible reserved physical pleasure for marriage.
4 Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Heb 13:4 (NASB)
18 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth. Prov 5:18 (NASB)
9 Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun ; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun. Eccl 9:9 (NASB)
bb Much of the out - of - control adultery / fornication is a direct result of failure to fulfill the physical pleasures of marriage.
3 Social Purpose
a 28 God blessed them; and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth." Gen 1:28 (NASB)
Make babies to fill up the nursery.
23 The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman , Because she was taken out of Man ."24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. Gen 2:23-24 (NASB)
Marriages, self-supportive / separate from the in-laws.
b Your home is the first school your kids attend & the lessons learned there last longer than anything they are taught at school.
aa 19 "You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up. Deut 11:19 (NASB)
4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Eph 6:4 (NASB)
6 Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it. Prov 22:6 (NASB)
bb Do not depend on public / private schools to teach your babies principles for living - that is your job parents.
4 Practical Purpose
a God only withheld this “It’s good” seal at creation for the “aloneness” of man.
18 Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." Gen 2:18 (NASB)
b He wants us to enjoy the fellowship, companionship, friendship of a suitable partner.
aa We’re incomplete without marriage according to the blueprint. (God does grand some the gift of celibacy)
bb “One flesh” describes how close we are to be to our spouses!
I There are 3 principles vital for a strong family.
A Authority
1 Marriage is not just the joining of man & wife but a marriage of three: Jesus must be at the center of the marriage / family / home. (He is the head of the household)
a 22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,30 because we are members of His body.31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife , and the two shall become one flesh.32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. Eph 5:22-33 (NASB)
Paul outlines / describes the authority structure of a home by comparing it to the authority in the church.
b If there is not authority there is anarchy: anarchy is always wrong, particular among Christians.
2 Christ should be the head shepherd in the Church & home: The bible is His final authoritative word in both. (Where scripture speaks plainly there is zero room for interpretation.)
a In the local church he installs Pastor to be over & in charge.
aa 17 Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they keep watch over your souls as those who will give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with grief, for this would be unprofitable for you. Heb 13:17 (NASB)
12 But we request of you, brethren, that you appreciate those who diligently labor among you, and have charge over you in the Lord and give you instruction ,13 and that you esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Live in peace with one another. 1 Thess 5:12-13 (NASB)
12 And we beseech you, brethren, to know them which labour among you, and are over you in the Lord, and admonish you; 13 And to esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake. And be at peace among yourselves. 1 Thess 5:12-13 (KJV)
In the early church there was already some form of church government they were to recognize as in authority.
bb Charge over / instruct / admonish.
cc Admonish is correction (by word or deed) towards one who needs correction – nobody likes discipline – but 1 Thess. Gives the Biblical mandate for it.
14 We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly , encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 1 Thess 5:14 (NASB)
dd Church members never have the “right” to nuisance, trouble makers - Pastor / Leadership have a responsibility to keep these types in check.
b In worse case scenario, Titus says “reject”them, excuse yourself from them - Don’t let them chart the course... be the authority.
10 Reject a factious man after a first and second warning, Titus 3:10 (NASB)
3 In our homes, there is an authority structure.
a Men & women, husbands & wives are equal but there must be a leader among equals.
b God’s principle is throughout scripture but Eph. 5.22 - 33 Is the key passage.
22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,30 because we are members of His body.31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife , and the two shall become one flesh.32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. Eph 5:22-33 (NASB)
aa Husbands love wife as Christ loved church; Responsibility to provide, protect, & lead his family. (as Christ did)
bb Wife follows alongside her husbands as the church follows the authority of Christ.
cc Children obey your parents who are setting the course of their homes morality, values, exemplifying God’s pattern of marriage.
B Affection: The home must have love, warmth, affection.
(Authority without Affection is Abuse.)
1 Men your wife’s number one need as a woman is affection / attention.
a This one thing, affection, lets your wife know you care.
b Never be as rude as the ol’ farmer who hurt his wife’s feelings.
Walking along the wife said, “Honey, we’ve been married now for 40 years. Why don’t we kill the hog?”
aa Of course, she meant to a have celebration.
bb He answered, “It’s been bad, but I don’t see why we ought to kill the poor ol’ hog over it.”
2 Show affection to your spouse & kids - Physical Affection.
a Men I’m not talking about backroom meetings: Hold her hand, wait for her, walking on the outside nearest to the road, open doors for her, pat on the bottom, tell her “I love you” before you leave.
aa Ask her “what do I do that makes you know I love you.”
bb Wives, same deal.
b Kids: Mom’s & Dad’s need to show your babies you love them!
3 Hug’s Kisses are still the easiest.
a Notes in lunch box, facebook, text
b Get involved in what they are involved in (Paint ball, toy collecting)
c Spend time
aa Quality time vs. quantity time: It’s all quality time.
bb 2 weeks in Disney World is not as important is the 50 other weeks you spend with them in the real world.
d Take for ice cream, cold drink, shooting, shopping, homework, watch a movie - the most important thing you can spend with your kids is your time.
4 They need to know you love them. (Show them you love their mom)
a Dads: One of the best ways you can show your love to your sons/daughters is to love their mom.
b Moms: Same concept.
c Your home should be full of lots of love, hugs, laughter, & kisses.
C Admonition
1 Admonish means to caution, counsel, to rebuke with mildness, inform by warning.
a The family’s guidance / counsel comes from the word of God.
b Everything you need to know about being a godly husband, wife, parent, student, child, is written on the pages of scripture.
2 Our families can no longer afford to just be told not to do something, they must be shown the scriptural mandate & consequences of it from scripture.
D The witness of a Godly home
1 18 Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."19 Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky , and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name.20 The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky , and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place.22 The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.23 The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman , Because she was taken out of Man."24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Gen 2:18-25 (NASB)
Account of the creation of women
a Adam put into a deep sleep, rib taken, woman created - Bride / Wife
aa Picture of the birth of the church!
bb At Calvary, Jesus’ side was riven & the bride (church) poured out. (Blood & Water)
b The church is patterned after marriage.
22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, Eph 5:22-25 (NASB)
2 The Godly home will present the plan of salvation!
a There should be Godly fathering, sacrificing & loving the way Christ loves the church.
aa A saved mother submissively serving & loving her husband.
bb The children see the pattern of salvation played out at home.
3 Let...
a The family live the gospel of Jesus Christ.
b His presence be the source of family joy.
c His forgiveness, not only received by passed on to the sinful & erring.
d His peace be the secret of contentment & satisfaction.
e His word be lovingly received, gratefully shared, & completed obeyed, family altars & daily prayer.
f The family be a lighthouse to the lost & a living testimony to the power of God.
Wrap - Up
A The family’s future depends on the home being built on the right foundation found in God’s word.
1 Spiritual Purpose, Physical Purpose, Social Purpose, Practical Purpose
2 Principles: Authority, Affection, Admonition, Witness of a Godly home
B Each person in the home has a responsibility, role
1 Examine your heart (dads, moms, husbands, wives, kids)
a The family will not rise above the Spiritual commitment Mom & Dads.
aa Mom & Dad are faithful, committed, kids follow.
bb Mom & Dad are unfaithful, uncommitted, kids follow
b Home improvement / rebuilding is possible when the foundation are rebuilt according to the master manual.
2 You get the picture!
a Do you want to rebuild? Recommit? Reconfirm?
b Pray
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