Jephthah the Gileadite was a mighty warrior. His father was Gilead; his mother was a prostitute. Gilead’s wife also bore him sons, and when they were grown up, they drove Jephthah away. “You are not going to get any inheritance in our family,” they said, “because you are the son of another woman.” NLT.
Introduction
Among the most crucial issues of today is the issue of child support. Some states in America have more stringent laws concerning this than others. Child Support Enforcement conjures up images of frustrated moms, angry dads, and irritated case managers trying to get money from dads who have been ordered to pay whether or not they see their children; tension and hostility burn through both ends of the phone lines as accusations and excuses pile up on the floor. Wages are attached; tax returns intercepted, bank accounts drained --a protracted game of hide and seek evolves.
Television talk shows have gotten involved in this issue because it offers them great ratings. Maury Povich of the Maury Show just loves to scream what has now become a famous trademark of his, “You are the father!” this is after a father has denied his child on national TV simply because, “he or she doesn’t like me!” and when he has been proven to actually be the child’s father via a DNA test, guess what Maury will ask him next? “Now! Are you going to do the right thing?”
What do you do when as a father you’ve made a terrible mistake and you don’t want to be irresponsible; this particular mistake bothers you so much until you just want to make things right? One of the biggest issues in America today is a single mother raising children in homes that are absent of a father. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 24 million children in America—one out of three—live in biological father-absent homes.
Our text introduces us to a man named Jephthah the Gileadite and let’s us know from the very start that he was “a mighty man of valor” or “a mighty warrior” and as far as great warriors of the Bible are concerned I’d say you could add him to the list along with David, Joshua, and Gideon. He was a mighty warrior with an embarrassing problem his mother was a prostitute, who took money in exchange for sex. His father was named Gilead, a man who had two women, his wife in which he legally married and then Jephthah’s mother.
Tragically, this type of set-up is very prevalent in America today, very little is known about Gilead, he had no title, no position, he didn’t rule over a kingdom. His only claim to fame is that he was the great-grandson of Joseph and the great x4 grandson of Abraham and Sarah. Other than this, Gilead was simply a common man; the Bible does not give us any further background concerning him. The only thing we really know for sure about him is that he was married; he practiced infidelity and adultery resulting in him fathering a “love child” by the name of Jephthah.
It’s all in the news today, stories of well-known celebrities and politicians who are fathering love children. Some admitting to it and others denying it, but I want to explore just how Gilead handled his mess and maybe it can help other men who find themselves in the same dilemma today. There was a time when parents were known only as a mother and a father. However, society has inadvertently added a few new terms to define a type of parenthood. I hear young men refer to a certain young lady as “My Baby’s Momma” and I hear very often young women referring to a certain young man as “My Baby’s Daddy” indicating that they share a child without the benefit of marriage.
This has actually become the norm in America today, But God through the writer of Hebrews says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” –Hebrews 13: 4. Gilead while married had an intimate sexual relationship with a prostitute. The prostitute bore him a child, and the child lived with Gilead and his legal wife. How dysfunctional can you get! Gilead got caught up in adultery. There’s nothing new under the sun about this, almost every man from presidents, senators, congressmen, movie stars, rock stars, hip hop artist, soldiers, sailors, marines, CEO’s, clergy, and the average man in the world today has been known to get caught up in adultery and an unintended child is born.
And this child does need his or her father just the same. Gilead did not have a one-night stand with the prostitute; he had an honest to goodness tryst, he had an affair with her. Gilead does not question if the child is his—he does not demand a DNA test, he doesn’t say something like “the kid is not my son” given the mother’s occupation you’d think he would use the old adage. “Mama’s baby daddy’s maybe” he accepts the fact that Jephthah was indeed his son and then decides to the right thing.
1.) Do the Right Thing No Matter Who Knows
I cannot tell you how many times I have heard through the years of men who fathered children from afar off. Seriously, I know quite a few [guys] who say, ‘I got a daughter who lives over here and a son who lives over there,’ and the way they say it, it seems like they don’t care. They say it as if it somehow makes them a real man to have babies by this woman and that woman and not even have to spend one red dime to support these children because the mother decided to not take them to court over the matter. I counseled one young lady who at the tender age of 21 already had three children ages 6, 5, and 3 by one man she says, and this means that she gave birth to her first child at the age of 15. She supports these three children by herself while working on a job, which pays her only $9.25 per hour. She receives very little to no support from the father who now lives with a new common law wife who herself has six children by a man or men other than he.
That’s right, he supports some other man’s children—but refuses to support his very own. When asked the question why don’t you take him to the Child Support Division in your hometown? Her answer is, I don’t want to do that because he’s “my babies daddy” and I know pretty soon he will do the right thing. Here in text, I just believe Gilead really thought things over and initially he was worried whose going to know. Up unto the time he got the prostitute pregnant he enjoyed a good reputation in the Gilead community. I know a man, a pastor as a matter of fact who fathered a child outside of marriage and never admitted it until the day he died because he was worried about what people would think, he didn’t want to ruin his reputation but died with a not so clean reputation just the same.
Gilead had to worry about hurting and traumatizing his poor wife, he had to worry about those Church folk, the kind who just love juicy gossip, he had to worry about his in-laws and must’ve remember his father-in-law saying, “Boy—if you ever hurt my daughter I’m gonna…” and he had to weigh all of this together and still do the right thing. I am happy to report to you this morning that none of this tempted Gilead, his concern was for the child. He owned up to his responsibility and his child born out of wedlock deeply outweighed the cost.
2.) Do the Right Thing No Matter How It Hurts
Just think about how many times we have witnessed via our television sets recent media coverage labeled “Breaking News” with a senator, governor, congressman, and even a president along with his wife standing shoulder to shoulder with him while he openly declares that he betrayed both his wife and the people who elected him. To date, I have not seen one woman in politics or otherwise having to do such a thing—why is it always men?
Nonetheless, this wife standing beside him is even wearing an obviously manufactured smile as her husband is begging for our forgiveness. We are not stupid, we all know she is deeply hurting inside, and we all know that she is extremely embarrassed. And at the risk of not trying to sound too cynical it often seems (to me at least) like the apologies by most of the politicians never come until they get caught and news of their infidelity is just about to hit the news stand, then it’s time to say “I’m sorry and I won’t do it again.”
The Bible does not say this, but Gilead’s wife had to be hurting. When she learned that her husband slept with another woman and even had a child out of wedlock by this woman, a woman of the night no less. He violated his marriage vows with a prostitute. She was hurting, and if you were she you would have been hurting too. However, what a wonderful woman she was, now, there’s a debate going on today and a few of these political wives are called weak women who don’t want to lose a good thing. There are some women who contend that if that no good so and so ever cheats on me I will take everything he owns even down to his last pair of underwear. While others say, I will stay with him for the sake of the children although I will never forgive him and from now on we’ll sleep in separate rooms and I will never forget what he has done.
Gilead’s wife continued to follow her marriage vows eventhough she really didn’t have to, biblically speaking marital infidelity is ground for divorce. However, since God hates divorce, divorce really should be the very last resort because “What God has joined together, let man not separate . . . I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery” (Matthew 19:6, 9). And so legally she could have dissolved the marriage she had with Gilead.
But it appears that after much begging for her forgiveness, his wife chose to stick to the vows eventhough she was hurt, maybe she concluded that the vows did not say “for perfect or worse” but rather “for better or worse” and she even accepted Gilead’s love child into their home who must have served as a constant reminder of her husband’s infidelity and indiscretion. Let’s not forget that some children of these kind of relationships also have a deep hurt from feeling unwanted by their own flesh and blood. The feeling of being unwanted is such a terrible feeling; sometimes the essence of feeling unwanted is in the child’s cry "I should never have been born". And so Gilead wanted to make good and sure that he do the right thing and let his son Jephthah know that he was indeed wanted and by no means is any child ever to be considered a mistake because God knew them yet while they were in their mother’s womb--and God never makes a mistake.
3.) Do the Right Thing No Matter What You Have To Do
Look at this; Gilead did not call on social services for assistance in the matter. He did not hire a lawyer in order to protect his interest or leave it up to the court and allow some stranger of a Judge to render his decision. Before Jepthah was born he didn’t suggest to the mother that she get an abortion. Yes, there were grave consequences—for one Jephthah’s brothers (sorry I don’t believe in term half brother or half sister) threw him out, and that’s another sermon. But still Gilead purposed it in his heart to do right by his son no matter what he had to do.
Well, what did he have to do? He had to own up to his mistakes. He had to repent before God and all who were hurt by his mistake. I could almost hear him say, “This child was produced by me and a harlot in a moment of lust and passion, but it is not my child’s fault” and “the mother may decide to stay in her profession as a prostitute but my child will not live in that environment—I cannot allow him to grow up in a brothel only to protect my own self.”
“No I don’t need to be made to pay child support because I am my child’s support!” “He is my son, he is not illegitimate (in fact none of God’s children are illegitimate), he is not a so-called ‘bastard’ he is my son, he will live with me here in my home, he will wear the clothes I buy him, he will eat the food I have provided for him, and I swear this will happen no matter what. This will take place—no matter what I have to do!” “I started this mess, but I will clean up my mess and try my level best to not allow my child to suffer because of what I carelessly decided to do before he was born. How wonderful it is, when a father who made a mistake decides to do the right thing! You’ve heard of the Prodigal Son? Well in America today there are a few prodigal fathers and this should not be as the Church as a whole remains silent on the matter.
Conclusion
I loved my earthly father, the late Deacon Eugene Miller—he taught me how to be a father myself. I’ve tried to follow the example he left me with on a regular basis. However, I have a heavenly Father who watches over mw both day and night. We all have Father in heaven that cares so much for us until He sent His Son to Calvary and He didn’t care who knew it, in fact He sent a dove to usher in a message to us and said, "This is My Son in Whom I Am well please." Why did God the Father do this?. Well, He had to do the right thing—because you and I were headed for an eternal hellfire. He didn’t care who knew, in fact the Bible you’re carrying right now tells you all about it.
He had to do the right thing, no matter how it hurt, because when He sent His Son, they whipped Him, and that hurt. The scorned Him and that hurt, they drugged Him through the streets of Jerusalem--and that hurt, they placed a crown of thorns on His precious head—and that hurt. They nailed Him to the cross, they nailed His hands to the cross. And then they nailed His feet—He died on the cross. They placed Him in a borrowed tomb and they sealed it up, and that hurt. But the Father did the right thing—no matter what He had to do, He did it! It was all night Friday, all day Saturday, and all night Saturday night. But early Sunday morning He got up and when He got up He paid for my many mistakes; He paid for your many mistakes, He declared, “All power has been given unto me, in heaven and in earth” that’s good news today. Because it means that you still have time to make it right. Don’t wait until tomorrow, do the right today. Amen.
