"Forgiven to Forgive"
Ephesians 4:25-32
Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
I. The Example of Forgiveness
a. His message
One of the main themes of the Lord's teaching and preaching ministry was forgiveness.
Matthew 6:12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
Matthew 18:21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
b. His ministry
When you examine the ministry of the Lord Jesus you will find that His friends and foes sinned against Him and He forgave them all. Our text declares that God is able to extend forgiveness to us because of what Christ has done on the cross!
c. His model
Some of the Lord's last words from the cross were words of forgiveness.
Luke 23:34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.
II. The Experience of Forgiveness
a. The need
We are great sinners therefore we need to experience true biblical forgiveness. We must experience forgiveness ourselves in order to truly appreciate the fact that we need to forgive those "...who have trespassed against us..."
Many Christians are living defeated lives, because they are hanging onto their pasts. They see their sins more than they see the solution to their sins, and that is the blood of Jesus! They spend more of their time dwelling on their sins, then dwelling on what Jesus has done for them!
Repentance - the key to being forgiven
Proverbs 28:13, "He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy."
If you can confess it, you can be forgiven of it! It doesn't matter what you've done, if you turn to God and confess your sins, He will forgive you of ALL unrighteousness... that includes anything you've done, that you are willing to bring before Him! 1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness."
There is no sin too great for God to forgive: Titus 2:14, "Who gave Himself for us to redeem us from EVERY lawless deed, and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds." (NASB)
Isaiah 1:18, "Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool."
The only sin God can't forgive, is the one you won't take to Him!!
Did you know that it's the goodness of God (when we realize His great love for us) that is supposed to draw or lead you to repent and turn to Him? Romans 2:4, "Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?" Also look at Jeremiah 31:3, "...Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee."
b. The neglect
An unwillingness to forgive others prevents us from being forgiven. It closes the door of God's grace to us. This is a truth that we must come to grips with. I've heard folks say, "I could never forgive that person for what they have done to me," but we must understand the implications of this position of unforgiveness.
14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
ILL - The book "Will Daylight Come?" by Richard Hoefler, illustrates the truth, that forgiveness frees and unforgiveness enslaves.
A little boy visiting his grandparents was given his first slingshot. He practiced in the woods, but he could never hit his target. As he came back to grandma's back yard, he spied her pet duck. On an impulse he took aim and let it fly. The stone hit its target. The boy panicked. Desperately he hid the dead duck in the woodpile, only to look and see his sister watching. Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing. After lunch that day, Grandma said, "Sally, let's wash the dishes." But Sally said, "Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen today. Didn't you, Johnny?" And she whispered to him, "Remember the duck!" So Johnny did the dishes. Later Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing. Grandma said, "I'm sorry, but I need Sally to help make supper." Sally smiled and said, "That's all taken care of, Johnny wants to do it." Again she whispered, "Remember the duck." Johnny stayed while Sally went fishing. After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's, he couldn't stand it. He confessed to Grandma that he'd killed her duck. "I know, Johnny," she said, giving him a hug. "I was standing at the window and saw the whole thing. Because I love you, I forgave you! I wondered how long you would let Sally make you a slave."
(Leadership Magazine, Christianity Today, Inc., To Illustrate: Forgiveness by Steve Cole; Leadership 1983, pg. 86.)
c. The Nature
ILL - "Forgiveness doesn't make the other person right, it makes you free."
-- Stormie Omartian
Part of the problem for us in forgiveness is a lack of understanding about the nature and nuances of forgiveness and that brings me to the third point.
III. The Exercise of Forgiveness
a. The truth
Among the many things we learn as we consider forgiveness is that it is first and foremost a choice, an act of the will. It involves our volition. We must choose to forgive:
ILL - "But forgiveness is not an emotion--I knew that too. Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart."
Holocaust Victim Forgives Captor, Citation: Corrie Ten Boom, Tramp for the Lord (Berkley, 1978), pp. 53-55
1. Without restraint -- freely
Matthew 10:8 Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give.
2. Without reciprocation -- unilaterally
If we expect the other person to respond or reciprocate our action in some way we will never be free. There doesn't have to be any response at all for forgiveness to take place.
3. Without restriction -- fully
YOU CAN'T OR YOU WON'T?
ILL - Ray Stedman tells the story of one man's explanation for his lack of forgiveness: He said, "A man once said to me, 'I know I'm a Christian, but someone once did an awful thing to me -- something I just can't forget or forgive.' I replied, 'Are you sure you can't forgive him?' He maintained that he had really tried to forgive this man, but was unable to do so. As we continued talking, I said, 'I know, I have found that we often use the word can't when what we really mean is won't. It's possible that what you are saying is not, "I can't forgive him,' but 'I won't forgive him?' If it is really true that you cannot forgive this man, then it indicates that you yourself have never been forgiven and you are only kidding yourself about being a Christian.' This shook him a bit. He thought it through and then, with a rather sheepish grin, he said, 'I guess you're right. I guess I won't.' It wasn't long before he came to me and reported with joy that he had finally forgiven the man who had injured him."
SOURCE: Ray Stedman. Talking With My Father. ( Grand Rapids; Discovery House, 1997) p. 73.
b. The transformation
Forgiveness is life changing for us as we experience God's forgiveness and when we forgive others.
ILL - A woman testified to the transformation in her life that had resulted through her experience in conversion. She declared, "I'm so glad I got religion. I have an uncle I used to hate so much I vowed I'd never go to his funeral. But now, why, I'd be happy to go to it any time." (Autoillustrator.com, A CURE FOR HATRED)
Luke 7:47 Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.
ILL - "At last I understood: in the final analysis, forgiveness is an act of faith. By forgiving another, I am trusting that God is a better justice-maker than I am. By forgiving, I release my own right to get even and leave all issues of fairness for God to work out. I leave in God's hands the scales that must balance justice and mercy.
Yancey, "What's So Amazing About Grace?" p.93
c. The triumph
ILL - One day a visitor leaned on the old fence around a farm while he watched an old farmer plowing with a mule. After a while, the visitor said, "I don't like to tell you how to run your business, but you could save yourself a lot of work by saying, 'Gee' and 'Haw' to that mule instead of just tugging on those lines." The old farmer pulled a big handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his face. Then he said, "Reckon you're right, but this animal kicked me five years ago and I haven't spoken to him since." The moral of this story is: A grudge is harder on the one who holds it than the one it is held against.
Forgiveness in Action
Pastor Hayes a man in his middle forties, was well-loved by his congregation, and faithful to God and to his family. He enjoyed a successful ministry in an exuberantly vital, growing church. Just when everything seemed to be going well, a cloud came over this man and his ministry. Rumors circulated through the church that Pastor Hayes was guilty of moral misconduct. He had been seen at the home of Miss Morrow, a school teacher, just a few weeks before she resigned for "personal reasons" and moved to another city. Apparently someone in the church put two and two together-and came up with five. Pastor Hayes was innocent, but the stain of the alleged scandal could not be erased. The rumors followed Pastor Hayes for years, seriously hampering his effectiveness as a pastor. It was difficult for him to endure the rejection, mistreatment, and misunderstanding caused by the false rumors. But it was even more difficult for him to witness the toll of these events on his wife and on his teenaged son. It was ten years later-after his son graduated from college-that Pastor Hayes learned how the hurtful rumors began. One night a man the pastor had not seen for years appeared at his door. "Brother McLean!" said Pastor Hayes in surprise. "I haven't seen you in..." "Eight years," McLean supplied. "It's been eight years since I left the church." McLean had been an elder in the church, but left a few months after his term expired. Pastor Hayes studied McLean's features. He looked older, and something was clearly troubling him. "Please come in," the pastor invited warmly. "No," McLean answered quickly, "I only have a few minutes to talk. I just had to tell you-I was the one responsible." "What? I don't...." "The story about you and Miss Morrow," McLean interrupted. "I was the one who started it all." "You!" Pastor Hayes' hands and voice trembled as old emotions flooded back. "But why? You knew I was innocent, didn't you? Miss Morrow left town to care for her dying father. She called me to her house the day she learned of her father's cancer. I went there to pray with her. How could you twist that into..." "I know! I know!" Tears began to fill the other man's eyes. "I was twisted, Pastor I twisted with jealousy! You see, before you came, I was a leader in this church. The previous pastor asked my advice on everything. People looked up to me. The programs I was involved in were flourishing. "But when you came, a lot of new people came into the church. There were so many new programs and people didn't listen to my ideas anymore. The church got so big-and it took a different direction. I felt left behind. I was so angry and bitter against you. Pastor Hayes, I don't expect you to forgive me, but I just had to tell you." The pastor stepped toward the man who had deeply hurt him for ten years. He wrapped his arms around Mr. McLean and embraced him. There in the yellow glow of the porch light, McLean sobbed away years of pent-up sorrow and guilt in the arms of the man he had wronged. And Pastor Hayes held him with strong arms of forgiveness and unconditional love, saying repeatedly, "I forgive you, my brother. I forgive you."
From Courage to Begin Again, Ron Lee Davis
