(A few years ago, I called the IRS. I was really anxious to have them correct a mistake they’d made. They were saying I only had one daughter, when I knew perfectly well that I had two. In fact, the daughter they said didn’t exist was the one that was costing me the most money. All agents were busy and I was put on hold. My wait time was 7 minutes. There was no music or message and that was unsettling. Perhaps the line was dead. After waiting several minutes, I hung up and I called back. Wait time was 12 minutes. I sat there holding on to a silent phone waiting for a friendly voice.) I’m talking about those times when life is like that. You’re on hold. You don’t know how long the wait might be. You wonder: “Have I been forgotten?” That is a question that comes from those who are living in God’s story. This series is following the life of Joseph. He has gone from favorite son, to slave, to prisoner for a sex crime he didn’t commit. This young man—who had God-given dreams of greatness—now sits in a prison cell. He had to feel forgotten. But even as he spent day after day in prison, he was part of God’s great storyline. If you have ever been abandoned and disappointed by other people, if you have ever felt forgotten by God, this Scripture has a word for you.
Genesis 40 opens with Joseph as an inmate. He is a model prisoner, and is trusted by the warden and given responsibility. As years go by, two celebrities get tossed in to jail with him. They were two royal workers, the cupbearer and the baker, who had messed up and made the king mad. The cupbearer served the wine to the king. It was a position of influence and trust. The baker was like a head chef, also an important position. Somehow they had offended the king, maybe with a horrible meal and were thrown in prison.
V.4a Ever have one of those times when things couldn’t get any worse and then they do? That has been Joseph’s life so far. In total he will spend 13 years as a slave and in prison. And now, as a prisoner, he is assigned to serve two other prisoners. Can you imagine how he might feel? Life had been so good as the favorite of 12 sons with dreams of greatness. Now it just seems he’s been forgotten. But day after day he keeps attending these men.
V.5 I don’t know how much stock you place in dreams. I believe God certainly can and does still speak through dreams, but his word has priority. No dream from God will contradict what is said in Scripture. I’ve heard of many instances when God has spoken to Muslims through dreams, and that is how they have heard of salvation through Christ. (http://muslimjourneytohope.com) God may use dreams to comfort you or challenge you or get your attention. But as Ecc. 5:7 warns, beware of the person who is always having dreams. This is not the normal way God will speak.
Vv.6-7 Joseph notices the men looking sickly, pasty-faced. The dreams were so vivid they were frightened, wondering what it meant. But I am so impressed with Joseph’s question. Why are you so sad? The obvious answer would be, “Hey genius, look around. We’re in prison. We have no job. Life stinks.” It would have been easy for Joseph not to ask anything. He had problems enough of his own. He was in the same situation. Why should he care if they were unhappy? But even though he has every reason to feel forgotten, he actually ministers to others. Let me tell you what’s wrong with some of you today. Your prison of self-pity keeps you from noticing the needs of others. You are so wrapped up in your own problems, and your predicament, you don’t see anyone else’s. You are so focused on the injustice done to you, the pain you feel, the loss you’ve experienced, that you have no ability to appreciate the loss and pain of those around you. In fact, that prison of self-pity can keep me from realizing that the person next to me may be struggling with much more than I am. Joseph wasn’t blinded by self-pity. By ministering to the needs of these two fallen officials, Joseph shows how to live in God’s story, even when life is at its worst. Could you lift your eyes off of yourself today? Is there someone around who needs to have a caring question asked of them? “Why are you so sad? Are you hurting? Can I help? How are you doing really?”
V.8 If the officials still had their jobs they could have talked to the dream interpreters in Pharaoh’s court. They would have consulted the dream books. Those royal volumes listed the meaning of images from dreams. They could have looked up each of their dreams. But in prison they had no such help. Joseph is quick to point them in the right direction. Truth won’t come from a dream book, or an expert, but from someone willing to listen to God. I find this remarkable. If anyone had reason to doubt dreams from God, it was Joseph. He had dreams of greatness, and all that happened was misery. So far, his dreams have only brought jealousy, hatred, betrayal, slavery, and imprisonment. Despite that, he is ready and willing to minister to these two in God’s name. The cupbearer goes first: He dreamed of a vine with 3 branches. They blossomed and produced grapes. The cupbearer squeezed the grapes into Pharaoh’s cup and handed it to him. Joseph interprets:
V.13. When the baker hears this he thinks “Great. This dream interpretation stuff is easy. I can’t wait to hear what mine means.” (I heard Allistar Begg say that this is often how we think. We expect that if something good happens to our neighbor, it will happen to us as well. If they prosper, we will prosper. If they were blessed, we should be blessed. We are so intent on comparing ourselves to others, and expecting life to be fair. When we think like, we don’t handle it well when that’s not how God works. Like the church-going couple who aren’t able to have a baby of their own. They see others with a child and God hasn’t answered their prayer, so their faith is shaken. In fact, the husband has given up believing in God.) That comes from the mistaken notion that God works the same way with everyone. No. God can do what he likes. The good word for your neighbor might be a bad word for you. Such was the case with the baker. Unlike the cupbearer, his dream was all bad news. And Joseph delivered it:
V.19 That’s a hard message to deliver. It would be tempting not to give that hard word. What harm would it do? At least let him feel good for the next 3 days. But Joseph faithfully delivers the truth. (I was thinking of all the times I’m tempted to not speak God’s truth. For example, when a good friend told me why he was leaving his wife and had taken up with another woman. He listed all his wife’s failures, many of which were true, and said: “I deserve to be happy.” It would have been easy to agree. Instead I had to say, No. You don’t deserve to be happy, if you disobey God in the process.) Joseph didn’t pull punches. He gave the interpretation that the baker would be executed in 3 days. His body left for the birds to eat. The Egyptians did this to prevent the spirit from resting in the afterlife. I’ve been studying this chapter for years, and never before realized what a gift the baker was given. He had 72 hours to prepare to die. That is a gift few of us have. What would you do if you knew the day of your death? Would you for the first time take seriously the good news about Jesus? Have you made peace with God, through his son Jesus? By his bloody sacrifice on the cross, Christ opened up the way to the Father. By faith we receive grace and forgiveness and righteousness and life eternal. In whatever time you have on this earth, are you prepared to die? We aren’t told what the baker did.
Three days later it all comes to pass. Pharaoh returned the cupbearer to his original position, and executed the baker. The interpretation was exact. Despite Joseph’s remarkable success as an interpreter, the scene ends with a downer, v.23. Joseph is forgotten. The cupbearer goes on his merry way, giving no thought to Joseph. This could have been reason to despair. God uses Joseph to predict the release of others, but he remains in prison. It was as if he was abandoned by God. Have you been in that position? Things are bad. You pray. God is silent. Years go by. Nothing happens. You feel forgotten.
When You Feel Forgotten You Might:
-plot revenge (Joseph had a long list of people to hate. All 11 brothers. Mrs. Potiphar. The cupbearer.) We’ll see later that Joseph did not waste his time on revenge. Are you dreaming about the day you can get even? “I’ll show her.” “I’ll get him.” Rom. 12:19 “Do not take revenge…leave that to God.”
-become angry and bitter. If you harbor anger, you will miss out on what God wants to do in your life. If Joseph had been consumed with bitterness, he wouldn’t have noticed what his fellow inmates needed. Eventually, God used his ministry to the cupbearer to get him out of prison. If anger and bitterness consume you, you will fail to care for others, and never get where God wants you to be.
-wallow in self-pity. Joseph could have been stuck in the “Why does everything bad happen to me?” In reality, one of the guys next to him was in a worse position. He had 3 days to live. No matter how bad things are, there is probably someone around you could minister to. Phil. 2:4 tells us that a Christ-like attitude is one that looks out for the interests of others, not just your own. The natural way of doing things is “every man for himself.” But Jesus followers look out for others.
-go into isolation mode. I see this all the time. People get hurt, offended, experience loss, grief, injustice, and so they check out. Avoid church, friends. Withdraw from ministry, accountability, service, activity. That is the opposite of what we must do when feeling forgotten. Staying focused on you, keeps you imprisoned. When you feel forgotten, the way out is to do more than just hold on.
(My friend Lee Eclov told me what happened to a man from his church named Ted. Ted was at O’Hare on his way back from a business trip. He went to get his luggage from the baggage area. Almost everyone else had already claimed theirs. Ted spotted his bags heading toward to the canvas flaps and decided he could grab them before they disappeared into the back room Ted has a health condition that makes him a bit shaky on his feet and when he reached for the bag he lost his balance and fell onto the stainless steel conveyor. There he was, flat on his back, hanging on tightly to the handle of his suitcase over his head, riding through the flaps into the darkness beyond. Several thoughts were going through his mind: I’ve been wanting to do this for years. I could get arrested. Now is probably not the best time to get off. So he rode, still gripping his suitcase, till he and his bag pass through the flaps again into the light. There waiting for him was an official-looking woman who said, “You’re not supposed to do that.” To which he replied, “Have you ever tried this?” She bellowed, “No.” And he said, “Don’t.” Then he swung his feet to the floor, tightened his grip on the suitcase handle, stood up and walked away. Life is like that sometimes, isn’t it? You fall into a situation you don’t want to be in and you can’t get off.)
It would be sound, spiritual advice to say, “Just hold on. Don’t let go of the God who will not let you go.” But Joseph shows us something more than that here. Yes, he held on, even when it seemed God had abandoned him. But don’t miss what else Joseph did. Here is a lesson for us in how to live when we are in that forgotten place. It’s not thrilling or extraordinary, but it is key to making sense of your imprisonment. THE WAY OUT OF YOUR DUNGEON IS TO TRUST THAT GOD WANTS TO USE YOU TO BLESS OTHERS.
The temptation is to quit being productive, to hunker down and survive, to simply wait out your depression, your pain, your hurt, your illness, your sense of abandonment. Though he had every reason to, Joseph did nothing of the sort. He ministered in his prison. He always did his best in every miserable situation in which he found himself. He carried out his responsibilities with excellence, then went beyond what was expected and cared about those fellow prisoners, offering help in their time of need. In desperate times you are tempted to be selfish, complaining, inward focused, disillusioned, bitter, and survivalist. You look at your situation and think, “This is not part of the plan. This is not the dream. This is not the road to blessing.” And so you shut down. But even the time in the cell is part of the plan, the way to the dream. So you must do more than grin and bear it, more than simply endure, you must represent God, and serve others. Unless you do that you will lack contentment in every situation. In every circumstance I can bless others, even when it looks like God has put me on hold. Scripture says that you are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. The appropriate response to your imprisonment is to serve others in Jesus’ name.
What does this look like in your situation?
Maybe you are feeling forgotten in marriage. The relationship is rocky. Your spouse is not fulfilling your needs, meeting your expectations, or showing you affection. You feel alone, neglected, like your soul is shriveling. It might seem like you are stuck in a prison. You might say, “I don’t love her/him.” Diane Sollee says: "To get divorced because love has died, is like selling your car because it’s run out of gas.” I agree. Let me encourage you to represent God and serve your spouse. Even in that dead relationship you can bless your spouse in Jesus’ name.
Maybe you are feeling forgotten in grief. (Like a friend of mine who said, “Everybody else is done grieving for my husband. I’m not. It bothers me that they’ve moved on.”) Your grief over the death of a loved one, the death of a relationship, the death of dream, may leave you feeling forgotten. Can you trust that God wants to use you to bless others? Don’t remain trapped in solitary grief, isolating yourself, thinking only of yourself. God has more for you to do.
Maybe you are feeling forgotten in value. (Looking for someone to speak at our spiritual life conference next month. It’s so hard to get someone good on short notice. Do you know anyone?) You aren’t being appreciated and recognized for all you have to offer. It would be easy to get bitter, withdraw. Don’t give up because you aren’t valued the way you think you deserve. Trust that God wants to use you whether or not other people recognize it.
Maybe you are feeling forgotten in crisis. (Novelist Laurell K Hamilton “When God ignores you, the Devil starts looking better.”) That is absolutely true. When you feel forgotten by God, doubt and disobedience come closer. It becomes tempting to dull the pain with drugs, shopping, alcohol, food, pornography, entertainment, sports, fantasy, work, unconstructive behavior. You might even consider suicide as a way out. I plead with you not to go down that road. That is never what God would want. In your pain, in your feeling of hopelessness, understand that God still wants to use you. He has you alive for a purpose. No matter how dark the dungeon or long the prison sentence, God has not forgotten you. He still wants to use you. After a decade in prison, it seemed like Joseph had a way out. But he is forgotten. Two more years of nothing. I can’t imagine how hopeless and empty that must have been. But God had not abandoned him. The greatest part of the story was yet to come. No matter how dark your situation is, you have no idea what God has in store. All I can assure you of is that he has not forgotten. Keep representing him. Keep serving. Your way out of the dungeon is linked to that. If you bury yourself in pity or anger or isolation, you will miss what God wants to do.
I can’t promise how long it will be. Did you ever realize that while Joseph could tell the cupbearer and baker exactly what would happen to them and when, he had no idea about his own future? That’s how God works. You don’t know. How long must I wait? I have no idea. Will the feeling of abandonment and hopeless go away soon? I don’t know. But if it doesn’t happen when you want, don’t quit. John Calvin wrote that it is improper for us to tell God when he must help us. Why? Because God “keeps his own people in anxious suspense, so they may truly know what it is to trust in Him.” Here’s what you should do in your time of anxious suspense, serve others in Jesus’ name. Don’t give up, stay bitter, plot revenge. Don’t even just survive, endure, or hunker down until things improve. Keep on serving God well. Even when you don’t get that promotion; even when your spouse is a jerk; even when the loan doesn’t come through; even when the admissions office says no; even when your sweetheart says it’s over; even when the tests come back with bad news; even when no one listens to your opinion; even when there seems to be no way out. THE WAY OUT OF YOUR DUNGEON IS TO TRUST THAT GOD WANTS TO USE YOU TO BLESS OTHERS. If nothing else today, please hear that God has not forgotten you. He is writing a great storyline. Don’t miss it. Don’t quit too soon. Don’t get lost in self-pity and despair. You have a purpose. You have a place in what God is doing in this world. So be confident in this: that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
