I’m so glad that I have finally found a church where everyone is good to everyone all the time and no one ever gets their feelings hurt or does mean things to one another. I hope you detect the sarcasm I am using to make a point here. The truth is that we face the potential for hurt everywhere we go – even within the church
Even Christian people have flaws in their character and say and do things they shouldn’t. Unfortunately, we’re all likely to offend or hurt someone at some point. Ecclesiastes 7: 20 says, “Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins.” But the difference I hope exists between the church and rest of the world is our willingness to ask for and extend forgiveness and mercy to one another.
Ephesians 4: 32, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Colossians 3: 13, “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
Today, I want to talk about the importance of forgiveness in the life of a Christian. I want you to see that forgiveness is a huge part of preparing your heart for revival. The Holy Spirit cannot operate unimpeded in our church family if we are harboring bitterness or resentment in our heart. C.S. Lewis is quoted as saying, “Everyone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive.” In other words, I bet most people who hear this sermon today will have no problem agreeing with the truth of what I’m sharing. But, when we are hurt by someone, that particular situation will feel like it should be an exception to what we’re talking about today.
But we are called to forgive EVERY person who offends us – no matter what their offense against us is. That may seem like an impossibility to you right now. And perhaps you’re right – it IS impossible for YOU to forgive. But we’re going to talk today about allowing the forgiveness of God to work IN you and THROUGH you. The Bible has a lot to say about the importance of mercy, grace, and forgiveness toward others:
Hebrews 12: 15, “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”
Forgiveness is a salvation issue. I read that a man named General Oglethorpe once said to John Wesley: “I never forgive and I never forget.” To which Wesley replied: “Then, sir, I hope that you never sin.” For you see, the scriptures seem to state that, if we are unwilling to forgive another person, we are choosing to cut off our own access to GOD’S forgiveness.
Matthew 6: 15, “But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Jesus told a parable that illustrated how hypocritical it is of us to refuse to forgive another person. Perhaps His parable will help you understand why God takes such a seemingly tough stance on forgiveness for others and our own salvation.
Matthew 18: 23 – 27, ““Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. 26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.”
I read one source that estimated the amount the man owed the king at around 25 million dollars. I’m not sure how you run up a debt that high, but there was no way he could repay it all. The king in this story represents God. The servant who owed the huge debt represents us. The Bible says that, because of our sin, we all owed a huge debt that we could not pay. We deserved death and eternal punishment. But, through the blood of Jesus, God has cancelled the sin debt of everyone who calls to Him for salvation.
But then Jesus shows us what our unwillingness to forgive others looks like in God’s eyes. Matthew 18: 28 – 30, “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. 29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’ 30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.”
How hypocritical of that servant! He had just been forgiven a huge debt he could not possibly pay, but he shows his gratitude by going to fellow citizens and harassing them for owing him a fraction of the debt he’d just had cancelled? Yet, that’s just how ridiculous and offensive our unforgiving hearts must seem to God.
So Jesus reiterates the point that our lack of forgiveness can nullify God’s forgiveness for our sins. Matthew 18: 31 – 35, “When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened. 32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
Unwillingness to forgive hinders us from connecting with God. Mark 11: 25, “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”
If you can honestly say today that there is someone you simply cannot or WILL not forgive, then you’re probably wasting your time coming to church. Your time in communion is expressing something less than genuine. Your songs of praise are just noise (like clanging symbols). Your prayers are just powerless chatter. Your desire to enjoy intimacy with God will most likely be unfulfilled.
We are to be the ones to INITIATE (not just wait for) an opportunity to reconcile. In his book "What’s so Amazing About Grace," Philip Yancey tells a story about a man and wife who one night had an argument. Of all things, the argument was about how supper was cooked. It was so heated that that night they slept in separate rooms. Neither has approached the other to say I’m sorry or to offer forgiveness, and they have remained in separate rooms years after the argument. Each night they go to bed hoping that the other will approach them with an apology or forgiveness, but neither went to the other. As Christians, are called to be peace makers. That is what is preventing restoration in many cases – an unwillingness by both parties to make the first move.
Perhaps it’s PRIDE that keeps you from initiating it. “They’re going to have to come to me and say, ‘I’m sorry,’ or else I’m done with them forever.” Or perhaps it’s a FEAR of confrontation that keeps you from initiating it. You just don’t have the courage to face them. You worry that it might not go well and could end awkwardly. You’re right, it could. But we are called to do what we can from our end to SEEK reconciliation.
I wonder how many wounded relationships there are in this room this morning that could be healed if we would finally take the initiative to reach out in reconciliation. Imagine the weight that could be lifted! Imagine the witness that the restored relationship could be to others!
This week, there are some very practical action points that go with this sermon. If you just ignore these points, then nothing is likely going to change and there’s a slim chance you’ll experience true revival in your heart. But I encourage you to join me in these action points – as challenging as they may be.
In some situations, maybe YOU are the one who was in the wrong. The offended person has been bitter toward you for some time, maybe years. You’re afraid to approach them or even fear it could be a hostile encounter. I encourage you to reach out in some way. It might be through a phone call, an email, a letter, or through Facebook. Even if they totally rebuff your efforts at reconciliation, it’s important to YOUR emotional and spiritual well-being to have the opportunity to express a few things:
- To acknowledge what you did and the pain that it caused (own it)
- To express your regret and remorse
- To ask for forgiveness
James 5: 16, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed...”
Even if they don’t grant forgiveness, you have taken an important step in being set free from the mistakes of the past. You can’t control another person’s reaction to you, but at least you can find closure in knowing that you’ve done everything you can do to make amends for the past.
Romans 12: 18, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
In other situations, you may be the one who was hurt. It could be something that happened recently, a few months ago, or even something from years ago. You may be still carrying scars from something that happened during your childhood. Perhaps you were abused physically, emotionally, or sexually. Perhaps you were abandoned by someone who was supposed to love you more than anyone in the world. Maybe someone hurt someone you love or took something from you that you cannot get over.
Chances are that you feel very entitled to carry the grudge that you’ve carried for all these years. The vast majority of people wouldn’t blame you either! But today you hear the voice of the Holy Spirit saying, “Forgive.” I encourage you to begin the process of reconciliation today.
Forgiveness begins with a CHOICE to forgive. The choice almost always precedes the FEELINGS of forgiveness. Secondly, begin praying that God will work in your heart and help you FEEL forgiveness. Contact the person who hurt you. But don’t leave out the important step of letting that person know you have forgiven them. Again, perhaps the feelings of bitterness are mutual and the person will reject your efforts. But God’s favor upon you is not dependent upon how the other party reacts to your efforts at reconciliation. He is interested in YOUR heart and YOUR actions.
While I can’t GUARANTEE the success of your efforts, I CAN say that most people will welcome such expressions of forgiveness with open arms. In his short story, The Capital of the World, Ernest Hemingway tells of a father and son who had stopped talking to one another. Things got so bad that the son left home. After several years, the father wanted to mend the relationship and so he looked everywhere for his son. When he came to the capital city of Madrid, he decided to go to the newspaper office and take out a big ad in the newspaper that said this: “Paco, please meet me at 12 noon tomorrow in front of the newspaper office -- all is forgiven. I love you. Your Father.” The next day at 12 noon, there were 800 men named Paco standing in front of the building! You see, I believe there are many people connected to people in this room today or to those watching on television or listening by radio… Who would relish the opportunity to have a burden lifted and feel the wonderful freedom that comes from being set free and having a debt cancelled.
Finally, put the icing on the cake of forgiveness by going out of your way to BLESS your former enemy.
Luke 6: 27, “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you…”
Proverbs 25: 21, “If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.”
As God provides healing, He will enable you to do what once seemed unthinkable -- to reach out and bless those that have persecuted you! And what a powerful testimony it is to the world when we display the grace of Jesus at work through us! Watch this video clip of one such story and be blessed….
When forgiveness takes place, we have the opportunity to see some of the most painful experiences of our life become some of the most powerful and transforming experiences of our life
Romans 8: 28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Our trial can become our testimony of God’s transforming power! Genesis 50: 20, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”
When we hold a grudge against someone:
- We are endangering our own salvation
- We are allowing emotional baggage to remain in our heart and rob our joy
- We are hindering the work of the Holy Spirit in our heart
- We are crippling our prayers
But when we choose to forgive, we are like the jailer that chooses to set the prisoner free. And, many times, as the warden, we also discover the freedom that comes when we no longer have to guard the cell.
