THE MISUNDERSTOOD GOD: THE NEEDY GOD**
1 CORINTHIANS 13:1-5
Big Idea: God does not seek fulfillment at your expense; God seeks your salvation and welfare at His expense.
INTRO
A few weeks back we began looking at 1 Corinthians 13 from a bit of a unique perspective. I have suggested to you that the world’s understanding of love is often in conflict with this picture of God’s love and, that sadly, Christians have been subtly deceived into adopting the world’s definition of love over God’s. As a result, our acts of love are skewed and the image we hold of God (since God is love) is also skewed.
We have looked at misunderstandings of God that a misunderstanding of love will produce. I have tried not to be intentionally provocative yet I have tried to show you that probably all of us are guilty in one way or another of misunderstanding God because our understanding of love is faulty. So far we have looked at:
• The Hair Trigger God (it fails to understand that love is patient and kind)
• The “It’s All About Me” God (it fails to understand that love does not envy)
• The Rock-Star God (it fails to understand that love is not boastful and pride)
Listen as I read 1 Corinthians 13:1-5 to you this morning:
1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love … 5 is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
Can you say it with me?
Love … is not rude, it is not self-seeking
Have you ever been around a “clingy” person? Maybe it was a boyfriend or girlfriend or just a friend. It might have even been a parent or a sibling.
At first the neediness seemed endearing and innocent enough but soon you began to see it for what it really was – selfishness. It masquerades as insecurity and love but whenever the neediness is not catered to, and its expectations not met, it can become manipulative, aggressive, or even dangerous. It becomes “rude” and “self-seeking.”
The world even suggests that this is a full-blown and mature love. That it is deep and passionate. But in truth it is anything but. A lot of love songs enforce this. There is a name for such songs, they are called “stalker songs” and they have been around forever and can be found in every genré.
• The Police: “Every move you make, every step you take I’ll be watching you.”
• Death Cab for Cutie: “I Will Possess Your Heart”
• Dido: “Here with Me”
• Morrissey: “The More You Ignore Me the Closer I Get”
• Carrie Underwood: “Before He Cheats”
Some tend to think God operates like this. They think he is always pestering those he chases until he finally wears them down and they give in. They think of God in terms of a stalker. That he will “possess your heart” whatever the cost. But God does not need a restraining order. That is not love; that is psychosis; desperation.
Might I leave you with three very closely related thoughts about God’s love; about selfless love?
1. SELF-SEEKING LOVE SEEKS FULFILLMENT AT YOUR EXPENSE. GOD’S LOVE SEEKS YOUR SALVATION AND WELFARE AT HIS EXPENSE.
Self-seeking love chases you to amass from you. God’s love seeks you to give to you.
The Borg
There is a mortal enemy in the Star Trek series called, “The Borg.” Every trekkie knows about them. Whether you follow the Next Generation, or the Voyager series you know about these ghastly characters. In fact, TV Guide rated them as the #4 worst villains of their top 100. “The Borg” are an alien “cyber-species” and they “assimilate” other life forms in order to ravish and consume all their resources.
Their motto is “resistance is futile.” They will eventually wear you down or defeat you and they will eventually possess your life force and every other resource that you are or have.
Some people see God’s love in this fashion. Many think love (and hence God) is like “The Borg.” They suspect that a relationship with him is akin to being “assimilated.” They think he siphons off everything they have to offer and leaves them as nothing more than a robotic shell that is now dependent on him in order to function.
God is not “The Borg.”
Sin is “The Borg.”
Sin siphons off of you until you are simply a lifeless shell. Sin leaves you deaf, dumb, and blind. It’s called “death” in the Bible. The living and loving God seeks you to give “life to the full” not amass from you.
Free will is part of the image of God. He made you with free will and celebrates it because it reflects Him. God does not chase you and wear you down to get his way and God does not offer you his salvation and then force you to accept it. He freely offers you his love (His divine self) because you need it – not because he needs you to need it. It is your choice whether to repent and follow Him. You do yourself an injustice by choosing not to, but God is not threatened or smaller or worse off because you choose to reject Him.
That makes the offer of salvation and His Spirit very appealing. How? Because grace is genuinely offered on my behalf, not with some ulterior motive of fulfilling a need within God somehow.
In the same manner, we His people and church, must learn to love without strings attached. Something with strings attached is a puppet not a loving relationship.
Can you say it with me?
Love … is not rude, it is not self-seeking
1. Self-seeking love seeks fulfillment at your expense. God’s love seeks your welfare at His expense.
2. SELF-SEEKING LOVE “PUNISHES” YOU FOR NOT CARING ENOUGH. GOD’S LOVE REWARDS YOU FOR COMING JUST AS YOU ARE.
I am saddened when I see Christians who think God threatens us with hardship or sickness in order to get us to “love” and follow him. Jesus is the fullest expression of God, since he is God, and Jesus never does anything of that sort.
Love is Conditional
A few years back, while my son-in-law was pastoring the Ithaca church, they made friends with a two other couples in their neighborhood. Both of these couples came from what I will call a “fringe” Christian group. One of these couples seemed particularly nice to Kris and Tiffany. They seemed to always want to share relationships and experiences together. Then one night this group had Kris & Tiffany over for a meal. After the meal they asked to have a serious conversation with them; there was something urgent they wanted to talk about.
Well, long story short, they told Kris and Tiffany that they were going to hell if they did not convert to this “fringe” Christian group. They said they wanted them to convert because they “loved” them so much. Kris reasoned with them from the scriptures; showed them that salvation was by grace through faith; that it was the work of Christ not the work of the Christ-follower that assured merit for heaven.
After that night, one of the couples stopped calling and declined any further invitations to do things together. The friendliness that these two were expressing was not genuine love. It was self-seeking. Once they saw that Kris and Tiffany would not be counted among their converts they no longer had time for them.
Real love is not a tool or a means to an end. Real love is an end in itself. Loving is worth doing simply for loving’s sake.
Did you know that you are loved by God whether you come to Him as a follower or not?
Jesus’ willingness to go to the cross is the perfect illustration of that kind of love. On the cross Jesus jumped between you and the beast called sin and blocked its way from devouring you. On the cross sin devoured Jesus and you were spared long before you even knew him. That’s love in action.
Can you say it with me?
Love … is not rude, it is not self-seeking
1. Self-seeking love seeks fulfillment at your expense. God’s love seeks your welfare at His expense.
2. Self-seeking love “punishes” you for not caring enough. God’s love rewards you for coming just as you are.
3. SELF-SEEKING LOVE IS CONCERNED ABOUT “HOW THIS BENEFITS ME.” GOD’S LOVE IS CONCERNED ABOUT HOW IT CAN BENEFIT YOU.
Everybody Loves Raymond
I remember an episode of “Everybody Loves Raymond” where Deborah did not want to be seen at the PTA meeting with Ray because she did not like how he dressed, ate from the buffet line, etc. She was embarrassed by him. She was ashamed to be seen with him in public. She was worried about how Ray was going to make her look.
In real life, we have all seen examples of wives and husbands that no longer want to be seen in public because they feel their spouse “makes them look bad.” That is not love that is rude and self-seeking.
I have even heard preachers say things like “When you sin you make God look bad.” That is a selfish understanding of love that has been erroneously translated into God’s character … and hence his love. God is not concerned about His reputation. God is concerned about you! When you fall or fail God is concerned about restoring you and delivering you from sin’s grip / from harm’s way; he is not irritated that you have made him look bad! If God was concerned about you making him “look bad” he would have never “become sin for us who knew no sin.”
God’s hatred of sin has nothing to do with how it affects him. It has everything to do with how it affects you. It brings death and he wants you to live … truly live … not die.
Jesus’ church can be very vulnerable at this point. We want to reach people for Jesus but if we are not careful we will want to reach people like us or people with a certain social status or political slant or manner of dress, etc. Why? Because people who are different from us can be taxing – they affect us and require from us.
Illustration #1 – “Orchestra Auditions”
In 1997 Princeton University conducted an experiment using orchestra auditions as their guinea pig. It was discovered that different people were selected when the auditions were performed from behind a sheet or curtain rather than when the orchestra auditions were performed in view of the conductor and his committee. When the musician in question could not be seen, but simply heard, the best musicians were often chosen without other prejudices factoring in. For example, women have a 7.5% better chance of being selected for a trombone section if they audition behind a curtain where their gender cannot be discerned.
Today, more orchestra auditions are conducted in this manner. They are called “blind auditions.” The Vienna Philharmonic uses this method as part of their selection process and so does St. Lawrence University.
(source: http://www.princeton.edu/pr/news/97/q2/0425orch.html)
Illustration #2 – “The Voice”
There is a show on television called “The Voice.” The concept is simple, there are four well-know and accomplished musical artists who listen to auditions and then select (or not) these new talents in order to help them become stars in their own right. The interesting thing is that the four artists cannot see the ones who are auditioning. They must decide whether to offer their services merely by listening to the singers’ voices. That way they are not swayed by appearances, etc.
God’s love is practiced in a similar manner as these “blind auditions.” When God’s love fills a congregation (or an individual follower), the church will love like this. The church will love all people simply because they are ones “for whom Christ died;” not because they are like us and easy to love.
Can you say it with me?
Love … is not rude, it is not self-seeking
WRAP-UP
Let’s compare these two versions of love.
Version #1:
• Love seeks fulfillment at your expense.
• Love “punishes” you for not caring enough.
• Love is concerned about “how this benefits me.”
Version #2:
• Love seeks your welfare at a personal expense.
• Love rewards you for coming just as you are.
• Love is concerned about how it can benefit you.
As I look at these it is very clear which illustrates the world’s love and which illustrates God’s love; particularly as seen so fully through Jesus Christ.
What is less certain is which one illustrates my understanding of love. That’s where the rubber meets the road isn’t it?
I wonder if this is why many people today have no desire to “give their life to Jesus.” I wonder if they view love (and hence, God) as selfish and self-seeking – like “The Borg.” They have no inclination whatsoever of being “used” by a selfish God.
Maybe, just maybe, if they saw God’s love in action through His people (self-giving and serving) they might understand exactly what the cross of Christ is all about.
In Jesus’ great prayer in John 17 he prays: “I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them” (John 17:26).
He who has ears to hear,
Let him hear
Let’s read our “Congregational Covenant of Love” together.
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** Much of the material for this sermon is derived from two specific books. 1) Darin Hufford’s “The Misunderstood God” and Henry Drummond’s “The Greatest Thing in the World.”
This sermon is provided by Dr. Kenneth Pell
Potsdam Church of the Nazarene
Potsdam, New York
www.potsdam-naz.org
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Congregational Covenant of Love
Heavenly Father, you have taught us that you are love and your Spirit has poured your love into our hearts.
Because you are patient and kind
We will be patient and bear with one another (Ephesians 4:2)
Because you do not envy
We will seek to make peace and build up one another (Rom. 14:19)
Because you are not boastful or proud
We will give preference and honor to one another (Philippians 2:3)
Because you are not rude and self-seeking
We will accept and encourage one another (Rom. 15:13-17)
Because you are not easily angered and keep no record of wrongs
We will forgive others just as we have been forgiven by you (Col. 3:13)
Because you do not delight in evil but do rejoice in truth
We will be loving yet truthful with one another (Ephesians:4:25)
Because you always protect, trust and hope
We will look after the interests of one another (Rom. 12:10) and carry one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2)
Because you always persevere and and never fail
We will be devoted to one another in brotherly love (Rom. 12:10)
We thank you for showing us how to love and
We will reflect that love in our care for each other. Amen.(1 Cor. 12:25)
