God’s Ideal in Marriage
Gen. 2:18-25
Genesis 2:18-25 (NIV)
18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.
20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.
21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh.
22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
Intro.
Marriage is not man’s invention, it is God’s idea. So let’s go back to the Bible, the instruction book and find out what God has to say about His creation. In chapter 2 we have what the scholars call a reference point. This is the first place were marriage is mentioned in the Bible. We must understand what is said in the passages that follow.
I. IT IS NOT GOOD FOR A MAN TO BE ALONE. V18.
A. Before we discuss this, I want you to notice something.
I. In Gen. 1:31 says, God saw all that He made was very good.
ii. But in 2:18 we find for the very first time that God sees something that is not good..
iii. (Not good for a man to be alone).
Application: Brother Michael responded to what God had said and married Sister Allen.
Aloneness is loneliness.
“God’s antidote for loneliness is companionship and God’s model for companionship is marriage.”
B. Before I got married I was lonely.
Illustration:
During that moment of loneliness I took a pen and wrote, “ When I am alone and feeling blue, it cheers me up to think of you. I would rather live in the solitary place than the most peopled place without you. “
When we are in loved we become poetic.”
Illustration:
There was a guy who seemed to be poetic while courting a girl. He said to the girl, “If you answer my proposal I will pick the stars in the sky and give to you. But the girl in her curiosity asked, “ How about the Sun and Moon?” The guy responded by saying, “ I could not promise them to you because I gave them already to somebody else. “
C. It is good for me because I had Eve ( is the nickname of my wife Evelyn) during the time of loneliness, but for Adam there was none. So he consoled himself by walking around and naming all the animals in the field, the birds of the air and the fish in the lake.
D.As he walked he said, “you look like a donkey, I will call you a donkey.” You look like a hippopotamus, “I will call you a Hippopotamus.” You look like a monkey, “I will call you a monkey.”
Adam spends all day walking around naming animals, birds and fish. Then Adam goes home to rest. As he rests, he watches:
i. Mr. and Mrs. Robin build their nest.
ii. Mr. and Mrs. Monkey settling for the night.
iii. And the fish spawning in the lake.
iv. Everyone has partner but Adam was alone.
V20 For Adam no suitable helper was found. “ I like the adjective suitable- meaning equal or adequate.” I believe that none among you is a suitable partner for me. That is the reason why my wife Evelyn was given to me by God because she is suitable for me.
Those animals could be of great help to Adam.
a) If he does not want to walk, he could grab the Horse.
b) He can employ the Ox to plow the field.
c) If hungry he could milk the cow to quench his thirst. But none of them can satisfy the longing of his heart.
How I pray that you sister Allen will become the suitable partner to Brother Michael.
Illustration:
After a FAMILY LIFE CONFERENCE a man came to the preacher and said, “My wife is not a helper but a botheration.” The Preacher said, “God did not create a botheration but a helper. It depends only on your attitude toward the person whom God has given you.
Note: But it is true that some wives become a problem to their husband. The nagging wives force their husbands to ask, “why I have landed with her.” Wives, repent and find ways to become a real helper to your husbands.
Application:
The same holds true with the nagging husbands. Repent also and be as a good example to the family.
I. It is not good for a man to be alone.
II. SO GOD PROVIDED A SUITABLE HELPER FOR HIM. V21-23
A. God realized that it was not good for a man to be alone.
A ) He placed Adam into a deep sleep and removed one of his ribs and created Eve.
Illustration:
It is humorously said that God brought Eve to Adam and said, “ Adam this is your madam” When Adam saw the Madam he became poetic and sang the song. ( Tune of the doxology: Praise God from whom all blessings flow).
This is now the bone of my bones;
And the flesh of my flesh,
She shall be called a woman,
For she was taken out of man. Amen…
And the loneliness of Adam was gone.
I. It is not good for a man to be alone.
II. So God provided a suitable helper for him.
III. AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. V. 24
Application Bible: God’s creative work was not complete until God made a woman. He could have made her from the dust of the ground, as He made man. God chose, however to make her from man’s flesh and bone. In so doing, he illustrated for us that in marriage man and woman symbolically become one flesh.
V 24 “ And the 2 Shall become one flesh”
Illustration:
A wife who kept on emphasizing to her husband “ now that we are one.” Yes we are one but please prepare a dinner for two.
Now that we are one. But which one is the one? Sometimes the husband says, “he is that one.’’ And the wife says so.” They are clashing with each other instead of accepting the fact that both of them should function as one.
Every decision should be made in consultation with the partner.
There should be, spiritual, intellectual, social and physical oneness. That is why the Bible says in 1 Cor. 6:14 Do not be yoked with unbelievers….
As someone said, “ If a believer marries an unbeliever he will have a problem with his father in Law, the devil.”
This was the area in which Adam and Eve failed, when Eve took the major decision without consulting Adam.
V24, This verse clarifies God purpose in Marriage.
It involves Leaving and cleaving to one’s spouse.
Note : Israelites marriage was usually Patrilocal, that is a man continued to live with his parents. It was the wife who left home to join her husband.
Leaving and cleaving means psychological and physical separation. The newly married couple is wise to establish independence from both sets of parents- to avoid in-laws problem.
Cleaving:
The word suggests the ideas of passion and permanence.
Matt. 19: 6 Whatever God had join together let no man put asunder.
Application: In order for marriage to exist- there must be a commitment to leave parents and cleave to one’s spouse from then on.
Illustration:
George Faull is the father of five– three boys and two girls. He told us that from the time his children were six years old, he warned them, “If you ever marry a non-Christian, I will not pay nor attend the wedding.” The kids all knew that expectation all through life. One of his daughters decided to test him and determined to marry a non- Christian. The wedding day came and George said that he stayed at home and cried the whole time. After the wedding, the newlyweds stopped by the house to say, “Hi” before going on the honeymoon. George said he greeted the couple with a hug, and said to his new son-in-law, “I fought hard to keep you apart. But I want you to know I’ll fight even harder to keep you together.” (I thought, “That was powerful!)
Leave his father and his mother..."
Genesis 2: 24 ( KJV)
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
It is noteworthy, there is a "cleaving" in this statement, but before the "cleaving," there is "leaving." This is about leaving your family of origin and making your own family. As vital and permanent as the child-parent relationship is, a proper husband-wife relationship warrants leaving the earlier relationship.
"...And shall cleave unto his wife..."
This is about marriage as God intends it, and this involves leaving and cleaving.
I am emphasizing this point because of our close family ties in the Philippines. I have observed that even when children are married and they have their own families, they still enjoy the companies of their siblings and parents. Please spare your wife from conflicts with the in-laws. Leave your parents and siblings and establish your own family.
Vv. 18-25 teaches us much about marriage.
1) God instituted it. V
2) God intended it to be monogamous. (not monotonous )
3) One woman completed Adam.
4) God intended marriage to be heterosexual. He created a man and a woman. Marriage is for a man and a woman. He created Adam and Eve (Not Adam and Steve).
No same sex marriage in the Bible. I was very disappointed when I heard that most of the States in America legalized same sex marriage and some so called religious groups subscribed to it.
5) God designed a role for the couple.
a) A husband must be the head of the family. Not a headache.
b) The wife should take a submissive role.
Matthew Henry excellently described our roles so well. “Not made out of his head to top him, not out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved.”
This fourth point is not included in my manuscript during the wedding ceremony but could be of great help to emphasize God’s ideal in marriage. You can refer to the outline of Keith Krell entitled Party in Paradise.
IV. God’s Ideal in marriage also involves Transparency. V25
Note: When the husband shows love and concern for the wife, the wife will find no difficulty in submitting to her husband.Chapter 2 ends with the following: “And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed” (2:25). The climax of creation is this: the man and his wife were both naked. How appropriate!
The naked condition of Adam and Eve does not just describe their unclothed, physical appearance. It also refers to the physical and psychological oneness and transparency that existed in their relationship. Physically they were naked; they shared their bodies with each other openly. Psychologically they were not ashamed; they hid nothing from each other. They were at ease with one another without any fear of exploitation for evil. Transparency should increase with trust, commitment, and friendship. It involves communicating what we know, think, feel, and are with the person or persons we choose. We should not be transparent with everyone, however, only with people who commit themselves to us. A transparent person is an open and vulnerable person.
Conclusion: The first wedding ceremony was quite simple – it was not as glorious celebration like today that marks the modern day wedding celebration. But I believe it was a successful one because they had the presence of the Living God who blessed it. Always include God in your relationship and you will have a happy, happy home.
No relationship here on earth will be successful apart from Him.
Note: Again, I don’t claim originality in this sermon. If I missed to recognize your contribution to this sermon please inform me so that I can visibly put your name in this manuscript.
