PROVERBS 25: 11-18
ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE
Prudent, accurate, honest, sensitive communication is a major theme threaded through Proverbs [e.g. chapters 15 and 18]. This emphasis is mandated because words and actions are the way we relate to one another. Basically, we need to accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative. As much as it helps to have positive commands, we often need negative commands since we naturally gravitate towards doing the wrong things.
[Words are the stock in trade of persons in places of responsibility. This does not mean that all who lead, teach, or supervise others must be skilled speakers [sons and daughters of Demosthenes]. It does mean, however, that the ability to instruct, explain, express feelings, convey encouragement or correction with clarity and grace is essential equipment for all who would excel in the privilege of managing others. Work anywhere, especially in the church, is done best by persons who understand the mission and their part in it. That mission and all that it takes to accomplish it can be explained only with words. [Hubbard, David. The Preacher's Commentary Series, Vol 15. Proverbs. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 1989, S. 405].
Many of the proverbs in this section are comparisons. The wise teachers lay out two similar concepts so that we might look at them and discern the connection between the two parts. It causes us to stop and think, to savor the wisdom given.
This literary form of comparisons in these proverbs not only urges effective speech from its students, it demonstrates it by a bouquet of effective metaphors and simile(s) (25:13). Particularly noticeable are comparisons using suggestive imagery colorfully drawn from nature. Golden apples (v. 11), the refreshing coolness of snow or cold water (v. 13), wind and rain (v. 14), all work to cast their content into especially memorable form with their crafted beauty.
Usually the figure of speech is laid next to the point it illustrates without any connecting word in the Hebrew text. The form itself pays tribute to the unity of life which God's creative activity had produced. God's created order and human experience are so orchestrated that, when appropriately understood, the one can illustrate the other.
Competence seems to be the unifying theme of this chain or cluster of comparisons (CIT).
I. SPEAK AND LISTEN APPROPRIATELY, 11-12.
II. SPEAK ACCURATELY AND HUMBLY, 13-14.
III. PERSUADE PATIENTLY, 15.
IV. AVOID EXCESSIVE SPEECH, 16-17.
IV. SPEAK TRUTHFULLY, 18.
Proverbs 25:11-12 uses jewelry to illustrate the use of an appropriate and properly timed word. Proverbs 25:11 teaches us the value appropriate or wise speech. "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver."
Here we see the relationship between fine craftsmanship and a word fitly spoken. The gold and the silver can produce an item of beauty, but it needs a craftsman who takes time and talent to make it. A jewelry smith works with precious metals to cast fine jewelry. "Apples of gold" were the centerpiece of "settings" (lit., figures or images) cast in "silver."
The instructive line comes [second in the Hebrew] as an emphasis on the appropriateness and timeliness of our words. The value and beauty of a well-chosen, well-shaped "word" [or "decision"] is celebrated as though it were an exquisite art object. The right word is a delightful gift. This requires thought, wisdom, and skill. So pray and think about how you speak to others.
For many years the monetary system in the United States was based on the GOLD STANDARD, which meant that all currency issued had to be backed up by gold. Going off the gold standard in 1933 is said to have help propel the USA out of the great depression. [the government could then print all the money it wanted because it could no longer be redeemed for gold.] Since then it has paved the way for inflation and other problems for which we are still seeking solutions.
God's Word provides valuable guidelines that serve the same purpose for Christians that the gold standard did for the nation's monetary system. Many guidelines for the right use of the tongue are given in the Bible. Recognizing the value of both gold and "a word fitly spoken," the writer of Proverbs commented on their similarities.
Words can be used for good or for evil. Harsh words, once spoken, cannot be recalled. Helpful words, left unspoken, can mean wasted opportunity. Words of anger, criticism, gossip, or deceit can destroy relationships. Words that are kind, gentle, encouraging, or comforting can build friendships. Are you on God's "gold standard" when you speak or are you speaking the highly inflated words of wordiness?
Pray that God will help you to extend your influence and impact for Him by the words you speak.
Again in Proverbs 25:12 beautiful jewelry forms an illustration, this time of a wise reproof. "Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold is a wise reprover to an obedient ear."
An appropriate and properly timed word (15:23; 24:26) may sometimes may be a rebuke (1:23). Reproof is a very positive use of speech, provided it's motivated by wisdom and love. The one who gives wise reproof bases his reproof on God's wisdom revealed in Scripture. Then it can be attractive and valuable, like gold apples set against a silver sculpture or carving, or like a gold earring or other ornament.
The pairing of the two pieces of jewelry matches the pairing of the "rebuker" and the person with the "obedient [hearing] ear." The two qualities of wise counsel and ready hearing complement each other as do the matching pieces of jewelry. They compliment one another and are much more valuable together than apart. Even the choice of the jewelry is designed to highlight the truth that the rebuke of a wise tongue does little good without a receptive ear.
If you have a heart that wants to obey the Lord and learn of Him, you'll receive the word of a wise reprover as gladly as you would receive a beautiful, gold earring. We support and strengthen one another within the Christian family by both giving and receiving biblical reproof.
II. SPEAK TRUTHFULLY AND HUMBLY, 13-14.
The comparisons in verses 13–14 switch from ornaments to weather. Proverbs 25:13 teach us to communicate faithfully the original message. "Like the cold of snow in time of harvest is a faithful messenger to those who send him, for he refreshes the soul of his masters."
The cold snow here refers not to bitter cold, but to refreshment during a time of great heat and exhaustive labor. The explicit picture is the refreshment of ice or "snow" water in the heat of "harvest," [which took place in the hot months from May to October depending on the crops to be worked].
Garbled communications and misunderstood messages must have been as much of a problem in antiquity as they are now. To be competent, speech not only has to be winsome and forceful, it has to be reliable. The "faithful messenger" (Obad. 1) not only arrives where he is supposed to, when he is supposed to, but relays precisely the message he is supposed to. "His masters" believe they can count on him and when they receive the news that the correct message got through, they are refreshed as surely and thoroughly as if they discovered or drank chilled water in the heat of harvest (13:17). [Hubbard, S. 405.]
Refreshment comes to the one who has sent the trustworthy messenger. When someone asks us to represent what happened in a meeting or convey the details of a document, can we be relied on to be truthful in an age of spin and political correctness? [An unreliable messenger is referred to in 10:26 and 26:6]. The task might seem insignificant or trivial, but do it anyway. You'll not only be a blessing to him, but you'll glorify the Lord (Col. 3:23).
An employee who delivers the message for his boss, is as refreshing as a cool day in the heat of summer. If you want to be a blessing, bless your boss. Do you suppose that's how God feels when we messengers deliver His Word with reasonable accuracy? See 2 Timothy 2:15.
Proverbs 25:14 teaches us not to boast like unproductive clouds do. "Whoever falsely boasts of giving is like clouds and wind without rain." [Again the illustration comes first, although some versions reverse the lines (NKJV).]
Clouds and wind usually give farmers promise of rain. But if no rain comes, the farmers are keenly disappointed. Clouds without rain in Israel symbolized promises without substance. It speaks of show without performance, of hopes dashed, and expectations crushed. In drought-plagued years "clouds" blown in with the "wind" and yet refusing to drop their "rain."
Such is the talk of feigned generosity. A person ought not promise something if he knows he cannot follow through. It "boasts" (lit., "praises itself") of what it can not or intends not to deliver. Either the braggart wants you to believe he has money, capability, or power that he doesn't have or to think that he's generous or capable when he isn't.
Some claim that they will give presents but never keep their promises which frustrates and eventually angers the expectant recipients. The integrity which must be part of wise speaking is absent. Instead of generous refreshing, there is the drought brought by miserliness. In all our speech we must avoid this type of promising that doesn't deliver.
Fads don't produce the rain or spiritual growth they promise. Ministries based upon miracles and false prosperity promises which don't deliver eventually cause people to drift. But the Word of God is solid and practical and wonderful. That's why we're committed to learning the Scriptures and hearing what God says to us in a practical, relatable way. [Courson, Jon: Jon Courson's Application Commentary : Vol 2: Psalms-Malachi. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 2006, S. 256.]
III. PERSUADE PATIENTLY, 15.
[The three following proverbs exhort us to moderation.] Proverbs 25:15 reveals the power of patient persuasion. "By long forbearance a ruler is persuaded, and a gentle tongue breaks a bone."
The situation here is seeking to win over someone in authority over you. A "ruler" or "judge" likes almost anything better than being put on the spot. Pushiness is his public enemy. Persuading a ruler to follow some difficult course of action takes patience. The techniques of courting, [one of the root meanings of "persuaded" (Hebrew pth means "prevail upon" in Hos. 2:14; "allure, entice" or even "seduce" in Ex. 22:16)] are to win over or to change prevailing thought. [Keil, C. & Delitzch, F. Com. on the O.T. Vol. VI. Eerdmans. 1972. p. 161]
A soft gentle tongue breaking a hard bone is an unusual figure of speech. How can a tongue break a bone? The idea is that softly spoken words can accomplish difficult things. "A gentle tongue" can accomplish more than a sword when it comes to influencing a tough decision or changing the mind of an hard headed official—a task akin to breaking a bone. [Hubbard, S. 405.] It softens and breaks to pieces the hardest of our structure defenses or arguments. Patience and a gentle (lit., "soft") tongue (15:1) can be unusually influential, accomplishing far more than loss of temper, harsh words and ill manners ever can [for they only increases the resistance that they seek to overcome]. The godly wise person with quiet persistence and gentleness will win all sorts of victories that bluster and anger will never see. [This does not mean pulling the wool over someone's eyes as the fool would.]
The sagas counsel their students not to simply endorse the status quo but to choose wise and effective means when it needs to be changed. Where kings are concerned, we may counsel, but we cannot command. [Mays, James. Harper & Row, Publishers. Society of Biblical Literature: Harper's Bible Commentary. San Francisco, 1988, S. Pr 26:1.]
Although Beverly Sklover stands only 4 feet 10 inches tall, she is described as a "towering presence on the telephone." She advertises in a local newspaper as "THE NUDGE LADY," after the Yiddish word that sounds like "noodge" and stands for a chronic and persistent nag or badgerer.
For $50 the first hour, and $40 each additional hour, she'll make call after call after call to right a wrong or get someone a refund. How does she do it? The lawyer and former New York City planner says 5 years in business have taught her that yelling gets you nowhere. "I always speak in the softest voice possible," she says. "Then people have to listen."
[The Nudge Lady reminds me a little of Abigail. Her family and servants were headed for disaster (1 Sam. 25). David and his soldiers had been insulted by her husband. Faced with a crisis, Abigail became a woman of initiative. With grace and courage she appealed to David's sense of mercy. By gentleness and humility she calmed his anger, and her household was saved.]
The Lord doesn't expect us to overlook all wrongs done to us. Nor does He want us to confront others with anger and insults. His Spirit can help us to be like Abigail: gentle and courageous. Gentleness helps us make a point without making an enemy. [MRD II. Our Daily Bread]
IV. AVOID EXCESSIVE SPEECH, 16-17.
[Proverbs 25:16-17 teach that excessively indulging in tasty or good things is to be avoided. Proverbs 25:16 show another area, our appetites, which calls for self-control. "Have you found honey? Eat only what you need, that you not have it in excess and vomit it. (17) "Let your foot rarely be in your neighbor's house, or he will become weary of you and hate you" (NASV).
Honey is a symbol of something good and desirable. Which is why we are warned against excess. Just as eating too much honey can cause a problem (vv. 27; 27:7), so visiting a neighbor too often may cause him to hate the frequent visitor. Overdoing anything can be a problem. Seldom is literally, "make precious, " that is, "make it valuable" by its rarity. A person should refrain from frequently visiting his neighbor, to avoid being a nuisance, but he should visit enough so that his visits are valued.
While the possibility exists that we can overstay the welcome of our friends, Jesus is a Friend whose patience we can never exhaust, whose door is always open, whose desire is not that we drop in for a visit, but that we take up residence in Him. [Courson, S. 256]
[Each day the news from South Carolina became more bizarre concerning the scam by televangelist JIM BAKER. Media had uncovered a scam. He was overselling shares in a resort hotel, Heritage USA theme park. There was not way all the people investing in the resort could use its facilities. [He also was caught funneling $265,000 in hush money to his church secretary Jessica Hahn, in order to cover up their adulterous affair.]
Jim Baker and his wife Tammy Faye were living in extravagance. The PTL ministry consumed $500,000 per day. This allowed for incredible excesses. There were excesses in his personal life. There were cars, expensive clothes, six mansions, even an air-conditioned dog house. In arrogance he misused the money of God's people. He forgot about accountability not to mention common sense. People were at his beck and call, all in the name of Jesus.
His arrogance and excesses cost him his freedom. Because of his visibility, millions looked at him and scoffed, vowing never to have anything to do with organized religion.
Pray today that God will remove the excesses in your life that create arrogance.]
IV. SPEAK TRUTHFULLY, 18.
[Each verse in verses 18-22 have the word rash in it connecting them together.] Proverbs 25:18 brings out the frightful effects of lying by a comparisons with lethal weapons. "Like a club and a sword and a sharp arrow is a man who bears false witness against his neighbor."
Giving false testimony in court against a neighbor (6:19) can crush, divide, or pierce like a club . . . sword, or . . . arrow. The neighbor here is a broad term indicating that we're to be scrupulously truthful in all we say about others. A false tongue is a highly dangerous weapon. It escalates conflict and hostility like the weapons of death in this verse. When we lie about others we kill their reputation, assassinate their character, and even destroy their life as effectively as weapons.
By bearing false witness, a man can damage another just as surely as if he beat him with a club, sliced him with a sword, or pierced him from a safe distance with an arrow. Shading the truth, raising doubt, causing suspicion in one way or another results in grave damage. [Courson, S. 256].
In some offices, you can get fired for GOSSIPING. According to a survey [2002], the average employee gossips 65 hours a year. One Chicago firm decided to become a "gossip-free zone." They require that employees never talk badly about co-workers behind their backs. If you're caught, you lose your job.
[A ministry for people in the entertainment industry takes a refreshing alternative to gossip. They combat it with prayer. Instead of putting down famous people who get in trouble with bad choices, they encourage people to pray for them]. Among God's commands to His people is "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor" (Ex. 20:16). While this may be talking primarily about lying at judicial proceedings, gossip could also be included in the command because it violates the law of love toward our neighbor. You can never justify gossip.
Gossip feeds into our natural desires to feel superior to others and to belong or fit in, so combating it in our personal lives can be a challenge. But if we choose to love through prayer, our lives can be a gossip-free zone.
Lord, forgive us for speaking carelessly about others to make ourselves look better. Help us to think before we speak. Teach us to be loving with our words. Amen.
IN CLOSING,
Knowing what to say and when to say it is the essence of wisdom. Where does this wisdom leave us? Convicted of how short we fall? I trust so. We should also be aware of God's grace, asking for help to make progress. We need to ask Him for the strength to live wisely and grow in our likeness to the Lord Jesus Christ.
