Title: Doing Unto Others Who Don’t Look, Act or Think Like Me…
Text: Matthew 7:12
Purpose: Message about getting along with others (Golden Rule)
Introduction
• Past Monday, 1/21/13 was President Obama’s Inauguration
• Many times in famous speeches, there are memorable quotes
- JFK: “Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country.”
- FDR: “All we have to fear, is fear itself”
- Pres. Reagan to Mr. Mikhail Gorbachev: “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall….”
If you were looking for a verse that somewhat summarized the teaching of Jesus on the Sermon on the Mount to this point it would be the verse Matt 7:12
TEXT: Matthew 7:12
12 “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.”
Question:
1. We’ve come through the political season, and there are very clearly two sides to this issue.
2. Next week, the Super Bowl will be between Baltimore Ravens and San Francisco 49’ers, and there will be two sides.
3. Even in religious world, there are many sides, theologically, stylistically, socially
Question: What things do they say never to talk about when you are in a social gathering?
1. Politics
2. Religion
Why? Because people hold very deep and sensitive opinions on both. And you are likely to get into a discussion that you may or may not agree with.
Question: Can people who may disagree on religion and/or politics, to name a few, get along?
• It’s one thing to think you’re in the majority of opinion, but what if you’re in the minority? Are you a bad person/ Do you still belong?
• Have you ever felt like that in a situation?
• How did Jesus handle the situation?
Background:
• Passage falls between 7:1-6 where Jesus teaches on being discerning without being judgmental
• Verse 7-11 talking about effective praying
• Followed by verses beginning in v. 13 about making a decision to follow Christ.
• Right in the middle Jesus talks to us about ethics and personal relationships.
Question: How do you get along with other people, not like you?
- They don’t look like you, talk like you, think like you?
Now it’s interesting to note that this passage usually had been quoted for years in history, philosophy, and even religiously from the negative stand point.
NEGATIVE: “I won’t do to others, what I don’t desire them to do to me. Live and let live. You leave me alone and I will leave you alone.”
• From this standpoint, it tells me to refrain; it involves nothing more than NOT doing certain things, which is not that difficult.
• A person could satisfy the negative form by simple inaction
• But this negative form stems from a selfish attitude
• Defined this way, it’s as far as the sinful man can go
• It essentially is an expression not of love, but of self-interest.
• The motivation basically is selfish, refraining from harming others in order that they will not harm me.
So rather than risk something, I’m going to do nothing. That way it doesn’t require anything from me. So we set up these little defense mechanisms. “You don’t mess with me, I won’t mess with you.” That way the default and responsibility is on the other person. Then if they do something, I can react or retaliate. Then it’s not my fault.
And that was the prevailing thinking up to this point. But then came along Jesus. And like so many times in the Sermon on the Mount, he changes it. He gives us something new.
• He frames this principle not from the negative side, requiring nothing from me, but to the POSITIVE side, which requires me to respond in love.
Jesus says, “Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you”
It’s more than just treating others as the law allows, but rather we must treat them as love demands.
Jesus said in John 13:34-35 “34 So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. 35 Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”
You and I are going to be judged by the same yardstick we apply to others. If we see good in others, nearly everyone will see good in us.
How we treat others is not to be determined by how we expect them to treat us or by how we think they should treat us, but by how we want them to treat us.
Illustration: For years, the basic instrument was the harpsichord. Keys were depressed; a giving string is plucked, much like a guitar. But the tone it makes in that way is not pure, and the mechanism is relatively slow and limiting.
Sometime during Beethoven’s times, someone made a change, rather than pluck the string, a hammer would strike the note. That minor change made a major improvement to the musical world. (1)
Same kind of thing here. What was a negative, none participatory principle, became a positive, engaging principle of love’s interaction.
The Golden Rule is a willingness to take considerable risk. One has no guarantee that people will respond in kind when approached with generosity and good will.
Illustration: Difference between the positive and negative
Setting: Court room, witness stand
• Swearing to tell the truth, and nothing but the truth differs greatly from swearing to abstain from telling lies. The latter, abstention from lies is disinterested in finding out what the truth is in court case in general. (2)
So Jesus has moved the conversation from the negative inaction, to the positive action of engaging love of one another.
Practical Examples of treating others the way we want to be treated:
What would happen if we applied this principle to the following?
• Conversations:
A. How do we want people to treat us when we are talking with them?
a. I don’t want to be interrupted
b. I want the other party to listen (They don’t have to agree, but do they understand what I’m saying?)
c. I want them to be engaged, interested, involved
B. How then shall I respond?
a. Be patient and listen to when people talk
b. Don’t try to formulate your response
Stephen Covey: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (3)
Communication is the most important skill in life. You spend years learning how to read and write, and years learning how to speak. But what about listening? What training have you had that enables you to listen so you really, deeply understand another human being?
If you're like most people, you probably seek first to be understood; you want to get your point across. And in doing so, you may ignore the other person completely, pretend that you're listening, selectively hear only certain parts of the conversation or attentively focus on only the words being said, but miss the meaning entirely. So why does this happen?
Because most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand. You listen to yourself as you prepare in your mind what you are going to say, the questions you are going to ask, etc. You filter everything you hear through your life experiences, your frame of reference. You check what you hear against your autobiography and see how it measures up. And consequently, you decide prematurely what the other person means before he/she finishes communicating.
Seek first to understand, then to be understood
C. Scripture: James 1:19-20
“Understand this, my dear brothers: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.”
• Marriages
A. What do we want from our spouses?
a. Someone to love us, to value us, to complement us.
b. Someone to love us unconditionally during our good days and bad days
c. Someone who will listen to us, and give us feed back
d. Someone who will bring the best out in us, to support us, and help us to grow.
B. How shall I respond?
a. Too many start with the selfish ideal that it’s all about them.
i. Well they don’t do this, they don’t do that.
ii. He/She doesn’t love me any more
b. Question:
i. Do you listen when your spouse is talking
ii. Do recognize when your spouse needs help or encouragement
iii. Do you make an conscious effort to support and love the way they need to feel your affection
c. Scripture
i. Philippians 2:3-4 “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.
ii. Eph. 5:21 “…submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
1. Wives submit
2. Husbands love your wife
A lot of marital strife can be avoided if we practice, putting other people first. So submit to one another.
• Relationships (Politics, School, Underprivileged, Church)
A. How do we want to be treated
a. That we have value
b. That we have worth
B. Scripture
a. Ephesians 5:15-18 “So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit.
b. Hebrews 10:24-25 “Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.”
c. James 4:11 “Don’t speak evil against each other, dear brothers. If you criticize and judge each other, then you are criticizing and judging God’s law. But your job is to obey the law, not to judge whether it applies to you.”
d. 1 Peter 3:9 “Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing.”
Think how simple Jesus’ teaching is here? Think of how it affects every area of life?
In essence, Jesus is going to say in the next couple of verses, that you have a choice. You can’t live this way without Jesus. It has to begin from within. It’s something that pours out of you.
Your attitude speaks volumes:
Attitudes are powerful, for good or ill. They can supply the positive power to overcome incredible odds, or they can prompt negative response that can destroy any relationship in our lives.
Emotions are also a forceful motivator, but they can change rapidly and are not the best foundations for decisions and actions.
Beliefs are the framework for our actions; but even beliefs do not always lead to action, unless they’re emotionally charged. Attitudes are the launching pads for the most important actions and reactions in life. Attitudes are not the way the winds are blowing, but the way our sails are set. (4)
The experience of holiness does not mean that there will always be perfect harmony among the Spirit filled. (Acts, you’ll find the story of Paul and Barnabas, and John Mark and what happened over a disagreement)
There is no sin in misunderstanding and differences of opinion. There may be sin in our attitude concerning them. (5)
Conclusion: (6)
It was February 20, 1962, when a man by the name of John Glenn circled the earth in outer space three times; and we thought it was tremendous. We followed. We listened. We saw him on television. And if you listened carefully, you would have heard from a man in Houston who was guiding John Glenn. He said to him, “Your attitude must be changed a few degrees.”
At first you might think, “that’ a slip. He doesn’t mean that. He means ‘altitude.’” But if you talk with someone in the aeronautics division, he would tell you, “He meant exactly what he said. He meant that John Glenn’s attitude must adjust itself to where he was- the position of an aircraft in relation to a given point of reference, usually on the ground level.”
If you take a tour of the Johnson Space Center in Houston, there is a place called Mission Control. There the guide will point out five computers where specialists sit. Each of them is an authority in a different part of that mission, but they cannot talk to the astronauts in outer space. In front of these five is one person who gets all of the information from them. He is an astronaut himself, and he is the only one who talks to those in out space. He speaks their language, and he knows how to communicate.
And then it dawns on us. “Yes, there are many who have information, many who have ideas. But it is all channeled through the Holy Spirit who speaks to us. It is he who says, “This is the way, walk in it- to the left, to the right. This is what I want you to do- listen.”
1. Hebrews 12:14 “Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord.
2. Colossians 3:12-15 “Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.”
Closing Questions
1. How will you get along with others this week who don’t look, act, or think like you and me?
2. Does your attitude need an adjustment
3. What would happen if we tried to apply this: Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.
4. Would your conversation change? (Marriage, relationships)
Footnotes
1. John McArthur, Commentary on Matthew, pg 446
2. Hans Dieter Betz, “Sermon on the Mount” Hermeneia- A Critical and Historical Commentary on the Bible. Fortress Press, Minneapolis, 1995, pg 510
3. Stephen Covey, “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.” https://www.stephencovey.com/7habits/7habits-habit5.php
4. Everett Leadingham, “A Christian’s Attitude Toward Attitude” (Beacon Hill Press of Kansas City, MO. 1995, pg 11-12
5. IBID, pg 77
6. IBID, pg 130
