I. EXORDIUM:
Are you a quarrelsome person?
II. AUDIENCE PROFILE:
Believers
III. OBJECTIVES:
To show proof that strife can be avoided and stopped.
IV. TEXT:
Proverbs 20:3 (Amplified Bible)
It is an honor for a man to cease from strife and keep aloof from it, but every fool will quarrel.
V. THESIS:
Strife can be avoided.
VI. TITLE:
Avoiding Strife
VII. EXPLICATION:
A. Author: Solomon
B. Chief Purpose: to give moral instruction
C. Key text: Proverbs 1:4 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
These proverbs will give insight to the simple, knowledge and discernment to the young.
D. Key thought: fear of the LORD
VIII. MAIN BODY:
A. What is strife?
The word "strife" came from the Hebrew word: "riyb rib" meaning "a contest", controversy, adversary, a quarrel. So to avoid strife, avoid the challenge and contest.
Proverbs 17:14 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
Starting a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so stop before a dispute breaks out.
Proverbs 20:3 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
Avoiding a fight is a mark of honor; only fools insist on quarreling.
B. Causes of strife or quarrel:
1. Hatred
Proverbs 10:12 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
Hatred stirs up quarrels, but love makes up for all offenses.
2. Pride
Proverbs 13:10 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
Pride leads to conflict; those who take advice are wise.
3. Contentious spirit
Proverbs 26:21 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
A quarrelsome person starts fights as easily as hot embers light charcoal or fire lights wood.
4. Anger
Proverbs 29:22 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
An angry person starts fights; a hot-tempered person commits all kinds of sin.
5. Foolish questions
1 Timothy 6:4 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
Anyone who teaches something different is arrogant and lacks understanding. Such a person has an unhealthy desire to quibble over the meaning of words. This stirs up arguments ending in jealousy, division, slander, and evil suspicions.
James 3:16 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.
C. Our attitude to prevent strife:
1. Thinking of others as better than you. Selfishness and impressing others will disappear from you.
Philippians 2:3 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.
2. Know the causes and stop before strife happens.
2 Timothy 2:14 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
Remind everyone about these things, and command them in God’s presence to stop fighting over words. Such arguments are useless, and they can ruin those who hear them.
3. Be kind to everyone, and be patient with difficult people. Everyone deserves your kindness, it's natural while a difficult person deserves your patience.
2 Timothy 2:24 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people.
4. Don't be jealous, don't pretend with boasting and lying.
James 3:14 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying.
D. Good quarrels:
1. Paul vs. John Mark
Their quarrel: John Mark left Paul in one of his journeys
Acts 13:13 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
Paul and his companions then left Paphos by ship for Pamphylia, landing at the port town of Perga. There John Mark left them and returned to Jerusalem.
Acts 15:37-38 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
Barnabas agreed and wanted to take along John Mark.
But Paul disagreed strongly, since John Mark had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in their work.
After: He wanted Mark to come to him for he's helpful in his ministry. Paul changed his mind about John Mark.
2 Timothy 4:11 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
Only Luke is with me. Bring Mark with you when you come, for he will be helpful to me in my ministry.
Colossians 4:10 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
Aristarchus, who is in prison with me, sends you his greetings, and so does Mark, Barnabas’s cousin. As you were instructed before, make Mark welcome if he comes your way.
2. Paul vs. Barnabas
Their fight: They parted ways.
Acts 15:39 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
Their disagreement was so sharp that they separated. Barnabas took John Mark with him and sailed for Cyprus.
After: He mentioned Barnabas making him an example.
1 Corinthians 9:6 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
Or is it only Barnabas and I who have to work to support ourselves?
Galatians 2:1 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
Then fourteen years later I went back to Jerusalem again, this time with Barnabas; and Titus came along, too.
3. Paul vs. Peter
Their fight: Paul opposed Peter because of his hypocrisy not with his racial discrimination.
Galatians 2:11-12 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
But when Peter came to Antioch, I had to oppose him to his face, for what he did was very wrong.
When he first arrived, he ate with the Gentile Christians, who were not circumcised. But afterward, when some friends of James came, Peter wouldn’t eat with the Gentiles anymore. He was afraid of criticism from these people who insisted on the necessity of circumcision.
After: He called Paul beloved brother.
2 Peter 3:15 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
And remember, the Lord’s patience gives people time to be saved. This is what our beloved brother Paul also wrote to you with the wisdom God gave him—
4. Moses vs. Aaron
Their fight: The golden calf.
Exodus 32:21-22 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
Finally, he turned to Aaron and demanded, “What did these people do to you to make you bring such terrible sin upon them?”
“Don’t get so upset, my lord,” Aaron replied. “You yourself know how evil these people are.
After: Moses never mentioned to the LORD that the perpetrator of idolatry namely the golden calf was of Aaron's idea.
Numbers 17:10-11 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
And the Lord said to Moses: “Place Aaron’s staff permanently before the Ark of the Covenant to serve as a warning to rebels. This should put an end to their complaints against me and prevent any further deaths.”
So Moses did as the Lord commanded him.
And Moses was present in Aaron's burial day.
Numbers 20:23-28 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
There, on the border of the land of Edom, the Lord said to Moses and Aaron,
“The time has come for Aaron to join his ancestors in death. He will not enter the land I am giving the people of Israel, because the two of you rebelled against my instructions concerning the water at Meribah.
Now take Aaron and his son Eleazar up Mount Hor.
There you will remove Aaron’s priestly garments and put them on Eleazar, his son. Aaron will die there and join his ancestors.”
So Moses did as the Lord commanded. The three of them went up Mount Hor together as the whole community watched.
At the summit, Moses removed the priestly garments from Aaron and put them on Eleazar, Aaron’s son. Then Aaron died there on top of the mountain, and Moses and Eleazar went back down.
5. Martha vs. Mary
Before: Martha even approached the LORD about Mary.
Luke 10:40 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”
After their fight: Martha kept her usual ministry of serving in the kitchen.
John 12:2-3 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
A dinner was prepared in Jesus’ honor. Martha served, and Lazarus was among those who ate with him.
Then Mary took a twelve-ounce jar of expensive perfume made from essence of nard, and she anointed Jesus’ feet with it, wiping his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance.
6. Pilate vs. Herod
It was because of JESUS, the Peace Maker.
Luke 23:12 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
(Herod and Pilate, who had been enemies before, became friends that day.)
E. Bad quarrels:
1. Abraham's herdsmen vs Lot's herdsmen
Genesis 13:7 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
So disputes broke out between the herdsmen of Abram and Lot. (At that time Canaanites and Perizzites were also living in the land.)
2. Herdsman of Gerar vs Israel's herdsmen
Genesis 26:20 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
But then the shepherds from Gerar came and claimed the spring. “This is our water,” they said, and they argued over it with Isaac’s herdsmen. So Isaac named the well Esek (which means “argument”).
3. Tribe of Judah vs. 10 tribes of Israel
2 Samuel 19:43 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
“But there are ten tribes in Israel,” the others replied. “So we have ten times as much right to the king as you do. What right do you have to treat us with such contempt? Weren’t we the first to speak of bringing him back to be our king again?” The argument continued back and forth, and the men of Judah spoke even more harshly than the men of Israel.
4. Pharisees vs. Saduccees
Acts 23:7-9 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
This divided the council—the Pharisees against the Sadducees—
for the Sadducees say there is no resurrection or angels or spirits, but the Pharisees believe in all of these.
So there was a great uproar. Some of the teachers of religious law who were Pharisees jumped up and began to argue forcefully. “We see nothing wrong with him,” they shouted. “Perhaps a spirit or an angel spoke to him.”
IX. CONCLUSION:
Think of others better than yourself.
Philippians 2:3 (New Living Translation, Second Edition)
Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.
And if worst comes to worst, they became your enemies, still pray for your enemies.
Matthew 5:43-44 (New Revised Standard Version)
"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.'
But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
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