For the purposes of this morning I’m going to assume that none of you knows about the illness that left me almost bed ridden for 7 months back in 2008. I’ve only met some of you recently and so that seems to be the best way to proceed. When I visited Kenya recently I said, “I have 1 wife and 3 children and I’m sure you’re glad it is not the other way around.” This was greeted with chuckles. I worked in the Banking Industry for 14 years between 1986 and 2000 before spending two years at a Church of England Vicar factory, known as Trinity College Bristol. For the last 6½ years I have been and will continue to be the Vicar here.
I was first ordained, or licensed as a Minister in June 2002 in Winchester Cathedral and after 10 years of service we are allowed to apply for a sabbatical or extended study leave. I took mine from 25 June to 6 October 2012 and I’m sure what I learned and experienced will stay with me for the rest of my life.
A few weeks ago I was preparing a version of this talk for my Dystonia Support group and I was very aware that my head was pulling towards my right shoulder; a reminder of this frustrating Dystonia thing began to affect my health just four months after I moved here. The Dystonia in my neck is treated with Botulinum Toxin and my only complaint is that despite 4 years of Botox into my neck I still don’t have the neck of an 18 year old! When I was finally diagnosed in June 2008 with cervical or neck dystonia I sent an email to some friends. One of them, a joker, my good friend Ian Fletcher said, “That explains it Warner. We’ve always known you were a massive pain in the neck!”
I wonder how you react to such a joke. To me, with a sense of humour that helps me to make sense of life, or sometimes just to make nonsense of life, that joke helps me to laugh. Even though technically the joke is on me, because Ian knows it is precisely my type of humour it actually shows me he cares. However, people without dystonia don’t tend to find it funny.
In June 2008 before diagnosis I was almost bed ridden. Walking, sitting, and moving around, was agony in the neck region. So, the sofa, or the bed were the only semi-comfortable places for me. Fast forward two years and in June 2010 I completed a 5 km fun run in aid of St. Luke’s Hospice, although both of my sons thrashed me in a sprint to the finish line!
As I considered my progress, I recalled that during 2008, the worst year of my life physically, I had grown and developed as a person. Whilst horizontal, I had listened to more music, read more books, and listened to more talks on the internet, than ever before in my life. Physically, I hadn’t run or walked for months. However, in my mind and my spirit I was making progress along the road of life. There were days when I felt mentally low, but the sense of peace and purpose in my life, and the sense of progress as a person were tangible. Why? And why did I not feel as peaceful 2 years later after completing a Fun Run?
After discussion with people I know and trust, and a helpful conversation with a colleague I’d never met before I applied for a Sabbatical, and came up with a title. In some ways the title is ironic. There is a tinge of humour in it, but the title is entirely serious, especially in the light of my experiences, your experiences, and the lives of many other people – Paralympic athletes for example. The title was: How do we run the race when we can’t run? The Bible talks about the life of faith being like a race (12:1), and it’s more like a marathon, not a sprint. The Bible talks about training our mind, training our character, training the person that I am; as an athlete trains and prepares for the games (1 Corinthians 9:25-26).
My Sabbatical or Extended Study Leave had to include certain elements: Renewal, Retreat and Rest. I was able to enjoy all three in abundance, and I am very grateful to you, my clergy colleagues, and to the Bishop, for agreeing to my request. Thank you!
So what did I do? I began with a retreat at a Roman Catholic Monastery – St. Augustine’s in Chilworth, Surrey. It was a wonderfully quiet, peaceful and relaxing time and I especially enjoyed my conversations with Brother Thomas, a monk from Madagascar. The hospitality of the monks was humbling, and their way of life was such a challenge.
During my stay at the Monastery I read a book written by Sandra Lacey, widow of a poet and actor called Rob Lacey. Rob and Sandra were married in 1995. Rob died in 2006 aged 36 and Sandra’s very moving book is called, ‘People like us: Life with Rob Lacey’.
Sandra is a Christian, and Rob lived the Christian life with all of its ups and downs. He was diagnosed with bladder cancer just shortly after their wedding in 1995 and I would like to read three excerpts from Sandra’s book. First, some additional wedding vows penned by Rob (pages 70 and 71).
Second, the day that Rob received his devastating diagnosis (page 74); and third, a poem written by Rob in 2000 as he became more determined than ever to live life to the full, to run the race set before him whatever the future might hold (page139).
I find that biographies in particular move me in a way that academic books don’t. A story of life against the odds is my favourite type of book; for example Charlie Wedemeyer. Some of you already know that Charlie was an American Footballer turned coach. Aged 30 he was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease and given 12 months to live. 15 years later Charlie was confined to a wheelchair and paralysed. However, he could still communicate with his eyes, and he continued to coach a team, passing on instructions to his wife using eye movements. Charlie’s Christian faith and determination to live life was an inspiration to me, not surprisingly. By comparison I have so much, and I have many choices available to me.
A few weeks into my study leave I slowly read through an old book by Mary Craig called ‘Blessings’, written in 1979. Mary’s second child Paul was born with a condition known as Gargoylism, or Hurler’s Syndrome. Life was incredibly hard for Mary, but in her book she writes about how her life and her perceptions changed when she began volunteering with a charity that helped survivors of the Holocaust. Mary spent occasional weeks serving at the Sue Ryder foundation home in Cavendish, Suffolk. Later, she spent time in Poland with Sue Ryder and in her book Mary explains how she learnt so much from Holocaust survivors. People who had suffered so much had so much to give (read page 108).
During my time away from work I spent two weeks at the New Wine Christian Conference at Shepton Mallet in Somerset. For the second week I was serving on team at Our Place – a venue firstly for children with Special Needs, but also as a refuge for their parents.
It was a wonderful week. Initially I had no clue as to what I could possibly offer. However, once I started playing and fooling around and treating the children just like I would treat my own children as far as possible, I got on fine. On one occasion our group leader was praying for the children. We were all sat in a circle with quiet music in the background. Our team leader wrapped a cloak gently around their shoulders one by one, prayed for them by name, and moved on to the next child. About 15 minutes later a boy with Down’s Syndrome came over to me. He wrapped the same cloak around my shoulders, bowed his head, mumbled some words, and said, “Amen.” He then removed the cloak and went off to play but a few minutes later he came back, put the cloak around my shoulders, bowed his head, put his hands together, and prayed again. It was a most profound moment! I could tell you many other stories about a boy brain damaged from birth and a boy with severe Cerebral Palsy but we may not have time today.
I also spent 10 days serving as a Games Pastor during the Paralympics. Based just outside Stratford station we were there to make a difference during the games. We spent a lot of time talking to Police Officers and shop owners, but also helping people who were disoriented or upset, praying with people if that’s what they asked for; and when asked, telling people the reason we had volunteered as Games Pastors. I chatted to Victoria Arlen, Ellie Symond’s swimming rival, a coach with the Iraqi team, a Doctor with the Hong Kong team, and two athletes with the Rwandan team – all inspiring in different ways.
In September I spent a week in Kenya, living with Maxwell - Vicar of Ciamanda, the Parish that Christ Church has a partnership with. I could do a whole talk about my visit but for today I just want to say that people with so little seem to be able to be so incredibly generous with the little that they have. Maxwell & Pauline will visit the UK September 2013.
As I watched Victoria Arlen’s story I had tears rolling down my cheeks. Such a beautiful girl, a top swimmer, suddenly struck down by a virus that has left her paralysed from the waist down; but I noticed this quote on the video from Antonio Smith: “Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” Or how about this one from Josh Billings: “Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.”
The pivotal point of my sabbatical was the story of Nick Vujicic, born without arms and legs. His book ‘Life without limits’ blew me away! At the age of 10 Nick considered suicide by drowning himself in the bath but changed his mind as he believed God was telling him he had a plan and a purpose for his life. Nick is now an inspirational and motivational speaker. He swims, sings, skateboards, scuba dives and skydives! He says, “Come walk with me, the man with no arms and no legs.” Let’s watch his music video:
We get one life before meet face to face with our creator. Nowhere in the Bible are we told that faith in God equals an easy life without sickness, sin, sorrow or suffering. No. Faith in God begins with an awareness that there is more to life. There is a Creator who made us and loves us. We all face different challenges, different disappointments, things that hold us back or get in the way of trusting in Him; but we have a saviour – Jesus – who has lived a human life perfectly, even to the point of suffering death on a cruel Roman cross, despite being innocent. He committed no sin; no deceit was upon his lips. We think his father Joseph died whilst Jesus was still young, leaving his Mother Mary as a young widow. The people of his Home town rejected him. He committed no crime. He was falsely accused. The religious leaders said he was a child of the Devil. People told lies about him at his trial. He was spat upon. He was sentenced to death. He was nailed to a tree. His friends ran away and deserted him.
When he died Jesus could not move. His muscles were useless and he could no longer suck in air.
We get one life. We get one God-given opportunity to ‘run with perseverance the race marked out for us’ (12:1). God does not promise in this life to take away sickness, trouble or adversity, but he does promise to walk with us and to take us through it. ‘Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for you are with me’ (Psalm 23:4).
I came to the end of my study leave with more questions than I began; but I know that I’ve been inspired and encouraged by many people to make the very best of this life, to the glory of God.
Let’s Pray.
