DO YOU HAVE EEYORE SYNDROME?
INTRODUCTION: "Good morning, Pooh Bear," said Eeyore gloomily. "If it is a good morning; which I doubt." "Why, what's the matter?" "Nothing, Pooh Bear, nothing. We can't all, and some of us don't. That's all there is to it." "Can't all what?" said Pooh. "Gaiety. Song-and-dance. Here we go round the mulberry bush." Basically, Eeyore’s stance was it wasn’t a good morning but for no particular reason. And his excuse for his gloom? Well, everyone can’t be in a good mood. Could your nickname be ‘Eeyore’? Are you known as ‘Negative Nellie’ or, ‘Gloomy Gus’? Being a negative person and being a Christian is not a workable combination. Let’s see what we can do about that.
1) What’s going on in our negative minds?
• We’re thinking the worst. Eeyore, “There’s only one rain cloud in the entire sky and somehow I’m not surprised it’s raining on me.” Are you the type of person who is looking for or expecting the worst in every situation? Pessimistic is defined as, "a tendency to stress the negative, or unfavorable, or to take the gloomiest possible view." We can become so negative that we can even take a positive situation and turn it into a negative. Eeyore, “It works. I didn’t expect it to. “I know it’s going well now but I’m just waiting for the bottom to drop out’. We talk ourselves into misery, gloom and doom. We can’t enjoy the good things in life because we’re just waiting for them to turn sour. The joy of life gets stolen from us because we blot out the sun and place a dark cloud over everything. Basically, if we want to bad enough, we can find something negative about anything. The pessimist says, “My cup runneth over; what a mess!”
• We turn being negative into a positive thing. Eeyore, “I never get my hopes up so I never get let down.” In our Eeyore syndrome, we get to the point where we’ll justify our negative attitude. “But it’s good to be this way. That way I don’t get my hopes up. This way I won’t be so disappointed when something bad happens.” We think it’s just wise self-protection to think this way but actually it’s just negativity disguised as wisdom. It’s a defense mechanism. Chances are we’ve been hurt so much in the past that we decide we’re not going to allow ourselves to be hurt again. So we develop this defense mechanism of never getting our hopes up; lest we fall hard and break-again. But no matter how we dress it up, it’s still negativity. And we don’t have to live this way-depriving ourselves of life’s joys.
• We use absolutes. Pooh: Have you ever had one of those days when you just can't win, Eeyore? Eeyore: Yup, I know how that feels. I could see Eeyore going on to say, “One of those days? That describes all of my days!” When bad things happen to you, do you use words like ‘always’ or ‘never’? Do you say things like “I can never win”, or, “This always happens to me”? Or what about words like ‘nothing’ or ‘everything’? “Nothing ever goes right for me”. “Everything’s a mess in my life”. Not that every use of absolute words are in a negative sense, but they often are. In this usage we see everything from a negative perspective. If we were to really step back we would see that it obviously wasn’t true. Even if we would intellectually acknowledge that, we would still need to take a look at why we tend to go to absolute statements when something bad happens. In the right frame of mind we would conclude that everything isn’t a mess yet when difficulties arise we see things in an absolutely negative way.
• What’s the use in trying? Eeyore: It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it. Christopher Robin: There now. Did I get your tail back on properly, Eeyore? Eeyore: No matter. Most likely lose it again anyway. “I’ll try but it won’t do any good.” This is where we have developed a self-fulfilling prophecy about our lives. If I conclude that I’m going to fail chances are, I will. This is where the Eeyore syndrome has taken its toll and it has debilitated us to the point of giving up. This can happen in our relationship with God. We haven’t gotten what we want form God so we develop a pessimistic attitude about prayer. “I’ll try but it won’t do any good.” The pessimist says God won’t answer my prayer. This also transcends into living for Jesus. We get discouraged when we try to do the right thing but since we feel we’re failing miserably, we eventually say, “What’s the use in trying anymore? I give up.” Then, unfortunately, we develop a pessimistic attitude about ourselves. Eeyore, the old grey Donkey, stood by the side of the stream, and looked at himself in the water. "Pathetic," he said. "That's what it is. Pathetic." We conclude, in our gloomy state, that we’re just pitiful beings who will never get it right. What’s the use in trying anymore?
2) How can be more positive?
• Choose it. Eeyore, “All of us can but some of us don’t; it’s as simple as that.” It’s not about wondering if I can think positive; it’s choosing to do so. All hope is not lost; misery is not our fate. We can change that negative thinking if we want to. If we are going to change then we need to choose to focus on positive things. Phil. 4:8, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.” Think about such things. Dwell on these. Fill your heart with these. Even in a negative situation we can think of such things. Not to ignore reality but to lend perspective; to gain balance. To have hope, to be optimistic, to keep from being pessimistic. Think of what is lovely or what could become lovely in the tragic situation. What is the praiseworthy thing in the disaster? To keep ourselves from becoming filled with negativity in a world that is filled with it we will need to think about the things of purity and holiness.
• Be an optimistic realist. Part of our problem is that we think negatively of optimistic people. We think they all have their head in the clouds and are not looking at things realistically. Although that might be true of some, that doesn’t mean you can’t be a realistic optimist. Instead of having an, ‘always expect the worst’ attitude, the optimistic realist says, ‘hope for the best but plan for the worst’. We are hopeful and enthusiastic about the possibilities rather than thinking everything bad that could happen will. Walt Disney, “I always like to look on the optimistic side of life but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter.” Part of being an optimistic realist is in understanding that bad things are going to happen; that’s life. However, the bad things in life don’t have to tear us down. 2nd Cor. 4:7-10, 16-18 [look at Paul’s perspective here. He presents the reality but follows that up with the optimistic reality]. John Maxwell, “When confronted with a difficult situation, a person with an outstanding attitude makes the best of it while he gets the worst of it.” Have you ever met someone who always saw the good in something? Someone who always looks on the bright side. They’re realistic but optimistic as well. D.L. Moody told about a Christian woman who was always bright, cheerful, and optimistic, even though she was confined to her room because of illness. She lived in an attic apartment on the fifth floor of an old, rundown building. A friend decided to visit her one day and brought along another woman—a person of great wealth. Since there was no elevator, the two ladies began the long climb upward. When they reached the second floor, the well-to-do woman commented, “What a dark and filthy place!” Her friend replied, “It’s better higher up.” When they arrived at the third landing, the remark was made, “Things look even worse here.” Again the reply, “It’s better higher up.” The two women finally reached the attic level, where they found the bedridden saint of God. A smile on her face radiated the joy that filled her heart. Although the room was clean and flowers were on the windowsill, the wealthy visitor could not get over the stark surroundings in which this woman lived. She blurted out, “It must be very difficult for you to be here like this!” Without a moment’s hesitation the shut-in responded, “It’s better higher up.” This lady understood the optimistic reality of 2nd Cor. 2:16-18.
• Be an optimistic unrealist. Eph. 3:16-21. Look at all the positive words Paul gives to them-he wishes that they would be strengthened with the unrealistic power of the Spirit, that they would know the unrealistic love of Christ, that they would be filled with the unrealistic fullness of God. Then the unrealistic verse 20. Being an optimistic realist is a good thing. However, if we believe that God can do the impossible then we also have to think unrealistically as well. And if we remember the ways in which he has done the impossible in our lives, it will be easier to think beyond the boundaries. This way of thinking rejuvenates and motivates the soul.
• Understand the power of positive thinking. In the Eph. 3 passage the word, ‘power’ was used three times. The power of the spirit that enables us to have the power to understand the vastness of Christ’s love along with the power that accomplishes more than we can imagine. We need to be thinking positively so that power can be at work within us, accomplishing great things for Jesus. However, not only is the power of positive thinking great for us from a spiritual standpoint, it also is beneficial from a practical standpoint as well. In 2004, Fox News reported on a study where researchers studied 1,000 people aged 65-85 to determine the importance of a positive attitude in dealing with life. After almost 10 years of follow-up, they found that people who described themselves as optimistic had a 55 percent lower risk of death from all causes and a 23 percent lower risk of heart-related death. The study found that optimistic people tend to be more physically active, drink less and smoke less. They also cope with stress more effectively. There’s a quote that goes, “In the central place of every heart there is a recording chamber; so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, and courage, so long are you young. When the wires are all down and your heart is covered with the snows of pessimism and the ice of cynicism, then, and only then, have you grown old.” The power of positive thinking has numerous benefits. Let’s overcome our Eeyore syndrome so we can be free from our doom and gloom cynicism and pessimism and become spiritually optimistic instead.
