November 4, 2012
Morning Worship
Text: James 4:1-10
Subject: Submitting to God
Title James Part 7: Conflict Resolution in the Church
Last Week in our James series I talked to you about how the words you speak will affect both your relationship with God and with one another. Let me begin by asking you a question. What is the one thing that the New Testament says will be the determining factor that shows the world that we are Christians? We will love one another. There are ten places in the New Testament where the phrase, “love one another” is found. And in each case that same love is shown as the defining characteristic of what it means to be a Christian, at least from an outward perspective. 1 John 4:11-12, 11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
The passage in James that we read today deals with the lack of love in the church. There were conflicts and James gives us a good outline for conflict resolution, not only in a church setting, but also in our personal relationships.
Love is the foundation of who we are. If you are in Christ, you have God’s love in you. It is up to you to allow it to flow out of you in order to be and experience the abundant life that God has in store for you.
Read James 4:1-12
I believe this is God's Word…
I believe it is for me…
I accept it as mine…
I appropriate it to my life today…
As we go through this passage today I want you to understand that I am not condemning anyone or trying to point a finger. There are no motives or hidden agendas. . I am just continuing with our series in James.
Conflict Resolution in the Church:
1. Recognize that there is a problem… Isn’t that the first step in taking care of any problem that you might have? If you don’t see it as a problem then why would you want to fix it? 1What causes fights and quarrels among you? Once you have done that then understand the source… Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? A little boy asked his father,” Daddy, how do wars start?” And his dada replied, “well son, take for instance World War 1. It began when Germany invaded Belgium.” Mom had been listening to the conversation and felt the need to add her two cents worth, “Why don’t you tell him the truth? It began when someone murdered Archduke Ferdinand in 1914.” “Who is telling this story, you or me?” with that Mom left the room in a huff slamming the door behind her. When the dishes in the cabinets finally stopped rattling the little boy said, “Dad, never mind. I think I understand how wars get started.” What kind of battle is this? It is a spiritual battle. The war of the flesh against the spirit man. The word translated as “desires” is the same word used to refer to the philosophy of life in which pleasure is the chief goal. So what James is saying is that the problem is the desire to have personal satisfaction regardless of what it costs. Now, look at how deep it goes. 2You want something (in the flesh) but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. Do you think that these people were actually killing one another? It is possible I suppose, but I think that what James is trying to say is that the quarrels and battles that are taking place are not coming from a place of love but instead, a place of hatred. 1 John 3:15, 15Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him. Look at the last part of verse 2. You do not have, because you do not ask God. In spite of all their own efforts to get what they wanted the truth is that they were going about it in the wrong way. They were killing (hating) and coveting, quarreling and fighting instead of praying. Verse 3 gives us some real insight to the mindset of the Christians that James was addressing. 3When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. Oh God I come to you today concerning Sister Jones. Lord would you open her eyes so she can see how awful she looks when she starts crying and shouting out in the middle of church. Doesn’t she see how much it bothers everybody?” Folks, that is asking with wrong motives. That is asking God so you can have it your way instead of trying to find out what He wants.
2. Recognizing that you may be a part of the problem… I heard someone comment the other day that they didn’t know how anyone who claims to be a Christian could vote for someone who belonged to a certain party. Their reasoning being that the opposition party would seem to support our stand on moral issues. The root of the problem is this; a large portion of those who claim to be Christians think in the same way that the world thinks. Their moral compass has somehow gotten off “north” and has begun to point south. For instance, more Christians than ever perceive social drinking as acceptable. I had a friend when I worked in construction, who came from a good Catholic family and he told me a story about an uncle who was looking through a Sears catalogue and accidentally flipped the pages and ended up in the bra and underwear section. His immediate response was that he needed to go talk to the priest and confess his sin. Now that may seem like a funny outdated story, but it is indicative of what the culture of the church has become. 4You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. I can understand how difficult this is for new Christians. Because of our culture and the fact that, unlike previous generations, the church seems to no longer be the center of our relationships, when someone gets saved it seems that they kind of get left out there on their own. But this is talking about all of the church. Older and younger Christians. We have a responsibility to think like God and not like the world. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5, 4The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. Our thoughts and actions should be obedient to whom? To Christ! 5Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely? Any Christian who claims allegiance to Christ and yet loves the things of the world commits spiritual adultery. And the Holy Spirit is jealous. He wants to have control of our lives. 1 John 2:16, 16For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. Have you ever stopped and thought about why people will go to hell? Is it because of their sin – what they do? Yes and no! It is their sin that causes the breach in the God/man relationship, but it their failure to do anything about their sin that creates the end result. People will go to hell because they choose not to have a personal relationship with the Living God through Jesus Christ His Son. Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God… But verse 6 says, But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Who is us? Faithful Christians who understand that we have been changed into new creations and are willing to allow God to continue to change us. We must become humble enough to see that we don’t have all the answers, but he does.
3. Recognizing the answer to the problem… H.L. Menken wrote, For every complex problem there is a simple solution--and it is always wrong. Proverbs 14:12, There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. But James tells us that there really is a simple solution to problems in our relationships – both personal and with God… 7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. There you go… Does it get any simpler than this? There are two sources. God and the devil. You have two choices… either God’s way or the devil’s way. Do you know that many times the devil’s way will make more sense to you? That is why we need to pray about everything. Do you realize how much heartache could be prevented if we would pray about everything? Most of you know that I am the presbyter for section 6 of the Northern Missouri District of the A/G. It’s not something that I have aspired to, but it is a position I have been voted into and I accept it and the responsibility that comes with it. There have been times when we have had to deal with situations in other churches and the only way that I knew how to deal with them was to pray for God’s wisdom in each situation. I try to submit myself to God, and do you know He has never failed me yet? 8Come near to God and he will come near to you. Isaiah 55:6, Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near This is a call to repentance.. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Look at the promise given in verse 10, 10Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
So what is James trying to say here and what does it have to do with solving relationship problems?
1. If there are problems don’t try to hide them. They won’t go away on their own. There are many different types of “step” programs to help people with various types of disorders. The twelve step program used by AA. In every one of programs that are intended to help someone escape the bondage of an addiction, the first step is confessing that there is a problem and that you can’t solve it on your own. The truth is that it is much easier to try to mask the problem than it is to take steps toward fixing it. And here we are talking about problems in relationships.
2. Admit that you may be part of the problem. There is an old adage that says if you are not part of the solution then you are part of the problem. You know, the churches that I talked about that I sometimes have to work with… they are just big dysfunctional families. And there is always one or more that is at the root of the problem. If your problem is in your relationship with God you must confess your sin. If you do not you cannot think that you will ever experience the abundant life that Jesus came that you might have. Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God… If your problem is within the church or in a personal relationship go to God in prayer to find out how He would have you handle it.
3. Find the answer. … 7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Our relationship with God and with others must be rooted in love. Love is the defining characteristic of who we are. Love covers a multitude of sins.
Allen Peterson writes,
Newspaper columnist and minister George Crane tells of a wife who came into his office full of hatred toward her husband. "I do not only want to get rid of him, I want to get even. Before I divorce him, I want to hurt him as much as he has me."
Dr. Crane suggested an ingenious plan "Go home and act as if you really love your husband. Tell him how much he means to you. Praise him for every decent trait. Go out of your way to be as kind, considerate, and generous as possible. Spare no efforts to please him, to enjoy him. Make him believe you love him. After you've convinced him of your undying love and that you cannot live without him, then drop the bomb. Tell him that you’re getting a divorce. That will really hurt him." With revenge in her eyes, she smiled and exclaimed, "Beautiful, beautiful. Will he ever be surprised!" And she did it with enthusiasm. Acting "as if." For two months she showed love, kindness, listening, giving, reinforcing, sharing. When she didn't return, Crane called. "Are you ready now to go through with the divorce?"
"Divorce?" she exclaimed. "Never! I discovered I really do love him." Her actions had changed her feelings. Motion resulted in emotion. The ability to love is established not so much by fervent promise as often repeated deeds.
Is it time to repair and restore broken relationships?
10Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
