Illustration
A young bride was at her wedding rehearsal and was visibly shaken and nervous; overwhelmed by the details that she had to remember. And the pastor realized this and pulled her aside after the practice and said, "This is all you have to do. When you come in for the wedding, all you have to think about is getting down the aisle. When you are half way down you can see the altar, the place of prayer. Focus on the altar once you can see it. And as you get to the front, you can see the groom. Now all you have to do is focus on your groom and the rest of the service you will be fine. This seemed to have helped. She went home and the next day she came back for the wedding. And as she was walking in some of the people who came to the wedding were a bit disturbed because they heard her saying over and over again "Aisle, altar, him...aisle, altar, him...I'll alter him!"
Marriage is sometimes like that!
READ Col.3: 18 -- 4:1
Paul has been talking about who we are in Christ and how we should behave on who we are in Christ. The family and the workplace are where God reveals His nature to the world. We cannot divorce our faith from our behavior in these foundation stones upon which the edifice is built. How we behave in these places has a direct impact on how people perceive Christ.
It begins with wives. He says, "Wives submit to your husbands as it is fitting in the Lord." It means to bring yourselves under, in the context it means bringing yourselves under the authority of someone else.
In this passage the wives are asked to bring themselves under the authority of their husbands. This is her role. "As is fitting in the Lord" means "because this is how a woman who is in Christ behaves." Some have taken that and said, you submit to your husband when it right or when you feel he has this spiritual leadership -- No. Peter also says this in I Peter, wives are to do this because she might win the heart of her unbelieving husband to the Lord by her chaste behavior. That means your husband will be drawn to Christ because of your testimony. It has nothing to do with your husband being right or spiritual or really being a good leader, it means that this is what you are supposed to do in this relationship.
I Cor 15:27 says the same word "bring yourselves under subjection" and is used 4 times concerning Jesus. "He has put everything under His feet." The word "Under" is to place yourself under authority.
I Cor. 15:28 -- Jesus has all authority as it says in Matthew 28:18-20. He has authority over all universe therefore you go and make disciples! This passage says that the one who gave that authority is God, but Jesus Himself is under the authority of God.
So we see that God the Father and God the Son, God the Father is in authority over Christ and Christ is in authority over us.
In Hebrew 2:5 - It is not to angels that he has subjected the world to come, about which we are speaking.
So ladies, when you place yourself under the authority of Christ, you are imitating Christ, who placed Himself under the authority of God, the Father. I am saying in obedience to the command given here, you are imitating Christ, following in His footsteps.
Col. 3:19
The word "love" here is the same word that you find in most places in the NT. "God so loved the world..." Agape love is absolute, whole-hearted devotion. John says in the Gospel of John, "People did not receive Jesus because they loved darkness than the light." One can be whole-heartedly devoted to darkness in such a way that it will keep them from accepting what God asks them to do. It will keep them from believing what God wants them to do because you want to do what you feel like doing. And you do not want to bring yourself under anyone's authority. So you reject Christ.
Husbands love your wives. Be absolutely, whole-heartedly devoted to your wives. Embrace your wife to the exception of other options.
So love your wife as Christ loved the church. How did Christ love the church?
READ John 13:1 -6
The love that we are called to love with, gentlemen, in order to help your wife to be everything that she has to be is, you have to sacrifice something that you were desiring -- your ambitions and desire. Maybe you have to humble yourselves. This is the kind of love that God has called us to. This is not a self-serving love.
Back in California when I heard my pastor talking on this passage, he said it this way, "There is really just two rules you have to bear in mind. And really only one you have to bear in mind. Wives, you have one rule, to bring yourselves under the subjection of your husbands. Husbands, you have one rule, love your wives as Christ loved the church." Then he said, "Isn't that easy?" Simple isn't it? The problem is it is not so easy and we will talk about it later on.
Col. 3:20
This is the first commandment with a promise -- that it may go well with you. Obeying your parents is just the right thing to do. They have gone through everything that you have gone through most likely. And they have survived. They have made a lot more mistakes than you have made, and hopefully they have learnt from it. So it is simply wise to be obedient to your parents.
Luke 2 -- Jesus went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient. And He grew in wisdom, stature and favor with God and man. There is a direct connection between our obedience to our parents and the glorification of God.
Col. 3:21
We as men are commanded to love our wives even if our wives are obedient or not. We are called to love our wives even if by nature they do things that causes us to be bitter. There are no excuses to this.
A lot of people say that a woman who is loved by her husband is going to find it easy to submit to her husband. But I know also of some husbands who have loved their wives very well, but their wives have not responded so well. There is still no excuse.
In our relationship with our children -- you come home from work. You have the stresses of the day. You come home after this and your kids want to bother you about this and that and you are not very patient with them or kind. You provoke them. I have seen fathers being very mean to their kids just to get them bothered. I have seen a lot of this in America. We as fathers have to love our kids and lead them by example.
Courage means you have heart. Discouragement means you lose heart; you lose that fire - that drive to move forward. We as men can blow the flame into a great inferno into our children, or we can blow the flame out.
Col. 3:22 -- 4:1
Illustration
There was a missionary in Africa, who had established an organization and was trying to run a ministry with these people doing the work. He got very frustrated with them, because he learnt that when he wasn't there they wouldn't work and when he was there, they would work. This man actually had a false eye. He got frustrated with the people, so he took the false eye out and he set it on the table and he said, "I am going to keep watching you." And he left. When he came back, they were still busy and working. A few days later he came and saw that someone had put a hat over his eye, and they were all just sitting there lounging.
Paul is always pointing us to our relationship with Jesus; the way we treat people is in direct relationship to how we are in relationship to Jesus. Not that we have good feelings about the person we are serving, but because we love Jesus, we love them.
In that context, 50% of the Roman population was slaves. Obviously that means at least half of them were slaves and the rest of them were masters in the church. In the Roman world, it would have been just like an employer/employee relationship. In general, "a slave" was the "employee" of the master. The slave had less rights than most of the employees today. That is why it was radical that Paul told the masters to treat them as human beings because they are brothers and sisters in Christ. And also probably the church must have been the only place where the master and the slave were getting together on an equal ground in that culture. Many felt that because of the Christian church, slavery in Rome eventually disappeared. But this teaching was to teach within the context to behave in a Christian manner. How does a Christian behave as an employer?
There is one person in my congregation who is a business man who thinks that every Christian must run a business, because it is in that situation you find out what God is really like and what it means to be a Christian. How do we treat employees? What policies do you establish? How do you lead people -- the sheep that God has entrusted to your care?
These are the "house rules." We have it in Colossians, Ephesians...the same set of guidelines.
I like to suggest four things in trying to deal with the difficulties of this passage.
1. These commandments are to meet the needs of other people.
My pastor used to say, "The greatest need of the employer is to have workers that you can trust. The greatest need of parents is to know that their children are safe and healthy, because they have learnt to obey the wisdom of the elders. The greatest need of the husband is to be in-charge. The great need of a wife is to be loved." And as we obey these commandments that God has given to us, we are helping the other person be what God has called them to be. We are meeting the needs that they have.
2. We are commanded to do what we will not do by nature. The Bible does not say much about wives loving their husbands. Women are better at it than men are. Yes there are exceptions. I think that most women find it difficult to be submitted to their husbands.
Why does the Bible say to not be afraid? Because we are afraid, right? Jesus commanded us to make disciples, why? Because we will not do that unless we are told to, right?
Jesus has given each of us our roles, the commandment that we need because by nature we will not do these things.
3. We do what we are told in these relationships in obedience to God and for no other reason.
In other words, 7 times in this short passage, Paul refers to the Lordship of Jesus. We do what we are commanded here, not because there is some cultural mandate or pressure, but simply out of our love for God. We may never understand the reasons why these commandments are given. We are not given promises too. It does not promise employees that if you are faithful and working hard, you will be promoted. No. It says be faithful and work hard, because you are serving God in your job.
4. The issue is whether we are going to have faith to do what God has commanded us to do, no matter what the outcome is. Is Jesus our Lord or not? You will miss out on the blessings that He has designed as a part of these guidelines, if you choose to ignore the guidelines.
Some practical application tips from Pastor Bryan Bill in the US:
1. Wives, tell your husbands today that with God's help, you are going to follow his lead.
2. Husbands, think of one thing you can do today to put your love into action, even if you do not feel like it. If you have any bitterness toward her, confess it to God and her and get over with it.
3. Children, practice first time obedience. Say something like this, "Yes mom, I will obey." Instead of pouting or yelling.
4. Parents, ask your children this week one thing that you have been doing that exasperates them. Get alone with each child to reaffirm your love.
5. Employees, try to picture Jesus as your boss this week. Think through how your work would be different with him behind the desk of your supervisor.
6. Employers, pray for your employees by name everyday this week. At the end of the week, ask each one if you think you are treating them fairly.
The way we love and submit in the home, the way we work in our jobs, the way we treat our employees, are all a reflection of our relationship with God. As Paul put it, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord and not for men."
