Modern Family Pt. 2 – Treasure Hunters
The Brady Bunch has left the building. The little house we live in no longer resembles the one on the prairie! We have moved from “Father Knows Best” to we aren’t sure daddy knows anything! The day we live is different. The climate has changed. This modern age has impacted and shaped our families. If we are not careful this modern age will even try to redefine family. We will never be able to go back to yesterday. We must learn to deal with today and tomorrow. However, even though we are in the modern age I believe there is still some old truths that modern family's need today.
So last week I told you:
Marriage matters to God and more specifically your marriage matters to Him. Not only did He institute the first marriage He was and is involved in yours right now.
Happily ever after doesn't have to be a fairy tale but does require hard and consistent work. You don't stumble into a perfect marriage or family. A bad marriage or family only becomes a good marriage/family with work. A good marriage/family only becomes a great marriage/family with work!
If we are not careful we give our marriages away.
God can give us our marriage/family back! A damaged marriage/family doesn't have to equate to a doomed marriage/family. God still has the ability to bind up the broken and turn hopeless situations
So today I want us to look at something we need to learn that modern families have forgotten/ignored and since we have failed to grasp this truth we struggle and fail to succeed in relationships!
Text:
Matthew 13:44 The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.
Ephesians 6:2-3 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
1 Peter 3:7 The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground.
1. To get treasure you have to dig through dirt!
There is no treasure without dirt.
Want you to notice that the man who found the treasure in the field didn’t just purchase the treasure. He purchased the whole field in order to obtain the treasure! If you aren’t willing to deal with the field quit trying to get the treasure! This one principle will save you a broken heart. If a person isn't willing to deal with your dirt, then why do you keep giving them access to your treasure?
Modern families understand that we are called to be and must be excavators. To get to the treasure that resides in your spouse and in your kids you have to dig through the dirt! You are going to have to get your hands dirty!
You have to purchase the whole field to get it. You have to deal with the ugly. You have to deal with the pain. You have to deal with the tough days.
Some of us never experience the treasure of your spouse or your kids because you are unwilling to deal with their field. We must become people who can handle dirt and not become sidetracked or deterred by the dirt! Some of you aren’t willing to do the hard work of digging for treasure.
This passage speaks to understanding worth! You have to make up your mind that the treasure is worth it! If you sell the treasure short, undervalue it, you won’t do the hard work of digging it out. The field will deter you and cause you to miss treasure!
Is the counseling worth it? It is if the treasure is worth it! Is the pain worth it? It is if you keep your eye on the treasure! Our problem is we want the treasure minus the dirt! Is it worth it to not say what you want to say? That depends if saying what you want to say is more important than getting treasure!
You have to buy the whole field in order to get to the treasure! You have to get all of them to get the best of them! You can tell those who aren’t willing to work on their family because instead of moving the dirt you are moved by their dirt and you run away!
We want our spouse to be perfect and they aren't. I married him because I thought he was my knight in shining armor or she was my fairy tell princess. Well they were a knight or a princess but they were covered by dirt and you have to dig through the dirt and see the knight/prince buried in the dirt o get to it!
Yeah your kids have dirt and that dirt will cause you to want to kill them, disown them, give up on them but if you can focus on the treasure then you realize the dirt is worth it! That is why some of us parents who have kids who have made mistakes can still look at them and claim they are young men and women of God . . . they have dirty days but they have a treasure in them that we refuse to throw away! Some of you need to learn this truth about yourself . . . yeah you blew it bad but that was just one of your field days . . . the treasure is still real in you!
Buy the field – make the investment. If we aren't careful on the days that the dirt is more evident than the treasure we will walk away! We all contain the glory in earthen vessels! You've got to get through the vessel to get to the glory. Get your eyes back on the treasure. Why have you lost sight of the treasure?
Every relationship would work without issue if treasure was easy to see! The ones that actually work are the ones who are willing to endure some dry holes. The ones who are willing to dig through the things that drive me crazy. The ones who are willing to do the hard work of treasure hunting!
Where our treasure is our heart is . . . if we don’t see our family as a treasure our heart will turn to another or to something else because we are treasure hunters! We will hunt treasure. See that is how it happens . . . you won’t commit adultery if you see your wife as a treasure! You won’t check out on your kids if you see them as a treasure! Without a correct view of the treasure you have at home the door opens to the possibility of being drawn away! Distance will increase! If you don’t see treasure in them you will see treasure somewhere else! Why? Because it is easier to identify someone’s treasure when you haven’t been confronted with their dirt! We are all experts at hiding our dirt until you get close! But incredibly when you go to see the treasure of that perfect one over there all of the sudden when you get close enough you discover dirt!
If you want your heart to be strongly connected to your spouse, then you better see them as a treasure. If you want to believe in your kids (even when they act like dirt), then you must see them as treasure! You have to go treasure hunting.
So how do we get to the treasure? If there is treasure in our spouse, our kids, our family how do we get through the dirt to the prize?
2. You unearth treasure through honor!
Check your honor level! We aren’t honoring the dirt . . . we honor the treasure we see in them. I can't honor them because ______ . . . you sir/mam/dad/mom/child/friend/church member don't understand honor! You are honoring the treasure in them not the dirt!
What you honor is drawn to you. What you disrespect or lack honor for will withdraw from you! What you honor will become real in your life. It is honor that unearths the treasure in them!
You would think it is enough that God instructed husbands too love their wife but He goes one important step beyond that and says husbands honor their wives. Children aren't even instructed to love their parents but importance, to the point of determining how long you will live, is ascribed to honoring their parents. We are instructed to honor authority! Love it? Didn't see that command. But honor! Why? Because it is as we honor them that the treasure that is in the middle of their dirt is unearthed! That is why I can follow leadership I don't love but still honor it and get the treasure that is contained in them. What if their dirt is a turn off . . . you can't allow that to cause you to miss the treasure!
Your family will live up to what you say and honor about them! Your kids will grow up into what you honor about them! Your spouse will grow into what you say about about them! You will never get the treasure if you keep treating them like dirt!
Some of you ladies wonder why your man keeps failing to lead or step up but you won’t honor the man in him? You can’t castrate and neuter his spiritual authority all week and then expect him to step up as the spiritual priest when you need spiritual direction and insight. How can he be a man if you treat talk to him like a little boy?
Men you can’t expect your wife to be the queen if you treat her like the maid all day long! You can’t expect her to make love if you speak hate all day long!
Some of you are only getting dirt because that is all you see. Your honor level dictates what you unearth in people.
What you fail to recognize you fail to celebrate. What you fail to celebrate will eventually exit your life. Some of you have a spouse, a child, a friend that is slowly exiting your life because you don’t recognize the treasure in them and therefore, you fail to celebrate (honor) them. Honor releases treasure!
Go back and read the account of David’s marriage to Michal and you can see this ancient lesson wasn’t learned! Michal loved David at one point so much that she helped him escape her father who wanted to kill him and she lied to her own dad about it. Then David goes out and gets the Ark of the Covenant. On the way back into town the Bible says Michal, "saw David and despised him because he danced before the Lord." The term used there is “b’zâ” and is rendered as “despised,” but the basic meaning of its root means, “to accord little worth to something.” While this action may or may not include overt feelings of contempt or scorn, the biblical usage indicates that the very act of undervaluing something or someone implies contempt. Lack of honor! Because she refused to honor David (because he acted in a way she didn’t like she had no appreciation for the treasure in him) their marriage is marked by distance and she is barren! Could be coincidence except how many of us are in barren relationships simply due to lack of honor. We can't unearth, uncover, or dig anything out of them because we don't honor them!
Hear what God said in Malachi 2:13-14 and how it addresses the lack of honor by a group of men to their wives and the awful price that is paid for lack of honor:
And this is the second thing you do: you cover the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping and crying; so He does not regard the offering anymore, nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. 14 Yet you say, "For what reason?" Because the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. In other words, lack of honor for our spouse hinders our prayers and causes God to ignore our offerings! They were married by covenant but treated their wife harshly . . . no honor.
I am telling you that your marriage would be stronger if you would show honor to your spouse. Your kids will become what God wants them to become based on the honor they sense. I don’t like everything my kids do . . . but I honor the treasure in them! When they act the fool . . . honor them. This is why Julie and I every so often will still say to our boys, "Who are you?" The answer we expect is a glimpse into the honor we place on them "Mighty man of God!" When they aren’t the perfect spouse . . . honor them. How? Help them. Serve them. Treat them with respect and care. Your honor will unearth the treasure in them. Honor in your tone. Honor in your facial expressions. Honor in your actions! Honor with your finances. Honor by making sure you make provision for them. You may not get to have the car you want, the boat you want, the dress you want but as you honor them with the provision needed treasure that can't be stolen or will never rust will appear. Honor each other with your thought life and what you watch!
It will pull the good out of the dirt!
Prayer for healing in families. Let honor be restored. Hurtful words be forgiven. Let us refocus on the treasure. Some husbands need to honor their wife again and vise versa. Need to see correctly again . . . all you see is their failure and faults. Need Jesus to show you a glimpse of the treasure again. No they aren’t all you wanted right now but if you can see the treasure you will be willing to dig again. It is time to go treasure hunting again!
