ROMANS 12: 14-21 [CHRISTIAN RELATING SERIES]
THE RESPONSE OF GRACE
[Luke 6:27-33]
[Last week we learned that God calls us to supernatural living which is having our outer life transformed by the inner life being conformed to Christ-likeness. In that text we looked at the believer's duty toward fellow Christians.] The next section in this list of basic characteristics of supernatural Christian living widens to include our duty to everyone, believers and unbelievers. These verses could be considered a summary of the core expectations of supernatural living. If we love the way Christ loves us we should be willing to love others. If we have experienced God's grace we are able to, and should want to, pass it on to others.
What is requested here is not difficult, it is impossible without God's grace. Remember what grace is - God's undeserved favor? By giving undeserved grace, as demonstrated in these attitudes and actions we are not excusing someone's misdeeds. What we are doing is by grace, forgiving him and loving him in spite of his sins against us - just like Jesus did and does for us.
Our passage can be broken down in the following way:
I. OUR GRACE RESPONSE TO ALL, 14-16.
II. OUR GRACE RESPONSE TO ENEMIES, 17-19.
III. OUR VICTORY OF GRACE, 20-21.
This section begins with a command that is impossible to unredeemed human nature in verse 14. "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse." The obedient Christian must not only overcome hating and retaliating against those who harm and curse him but is commanded to go even further and bless them. Paul is echoing the teaching of Jesus in Matthew 5:44 and Luke 6:27-30. So that we would not think that Jesus was simply asking for non-mistreatment Jesus explains what Agape love was capable of in Luke 6:29-30 and then continued with the reason for it in Luke 6:32-33. "Whoever hits you on the cheek," He commands, "offer him the other also; and whoever takes away your coat, do not withhold you shirt from him either. Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back" [Luke 6:29-30]. Commenting further about our attitude in such situations, Jesus explains, "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same" (vv. 32-33). This love is something the world does not have. To truly bless those who persecute us is to desire their eternal salvation.
As we would expect, the supreme example of blessing one's persecutors was given by our Lord Himself. As the sinless Son of God hung in the great suffering of sin-bearing on the cross He prayed with unimaginable mercy, "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:32). As Stephen lay beneath the bloody stones that were crushing the life out of him, he echoed those words of his Savior, saying, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them!" (Acts 7:60). Many years later Peter wrote, "For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously" (1 Peter 2:21-23).
Verse 14 continues "bless and do not curse." Beyond withholding our hand from doing them harm we are not to wish them loss or harbor ill-will toward them but are to bless them and do them good. In other words we are not to desire the outpouring of divine vengeance on our persecutors but are to bless them desiring their salvation. We should be people who have let go of all persistent attitudes of resentment, hostility and retaliation. We should utter no evil or condemning words against anyone. Have you uttered evil or spiteful words against someone?
In verse 15 we are told to enter into the feelings of others. "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep."
One way to verify that our heart is in the right place is to identify with other people so that we "rejoice with those that rejoice." Rejoicing with the brethren may seem easy but what if great good falls to our enemy? What about if their accomplishments make ours seem bare and dull?
We also need to be sensitive to the disappointments, hardships, and sorrows of others, to "weep with those who weep." This calls us to the duty of sympathy and empathy, to entering into the heartache of others. The word compassion contains the idea of suffering with others. This deep identification is not only with fellow believers, but with all those whom we have a relatively close relationship be they believers or unbelievers.
From the way Job's friends tried to console him, we learn a basic principle about giving comfort to others. It is this: A comforter's ability to help is not so much his talent for using words, but rather his capacity to be sympathetic. That's the type of understanding Job longed for when his friends began trying to correct him.
Dr. Paul Brand has beautifully, expressed this truth in his book. Fearfully and Wonderfully Made. He writes: "When I ask patients and their families, 'Who helped you in your suffering?' I hear a strange, imprecise answer.. The person described rarely has smooth answers or a winsome, effervescent personality. It is someone quiet, understanding, who listens more than he talks, who does not judge, or even offer much advice. 'A sense of presence.' 'Someone there when I needed him.' A hand to hold. An understanding, bewildered hug. A shared lump in the throat."
Sometimes, in trying so hard to say the right thing, we forget that the language of feeling speaks louder than words. That's why were told to "weep with those who weep."
Sympathy is two hearts tugging at one load. Helping others in distress begins by sharing the pain.
Verse 16 teaches us not to be partial or proud."Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation."
We are to think the same thing toward one another. This being of the same mind is being in agreement with one another because we have the mind of Christ. Believers are to agree among themselves. The way to be like-minded is to be one in spirit and purpose. Our same-mindedness at First Baptist Church is captured in our mutual mission statement, "Our church exists to glorify God by developing devoted followers of Christ who truly love God, love each other, and love people who are lost." Our motto condensed from our mission statement is "Loving God, Loving others." ["We are surrendered to making fully functioning followers of Christ that share His love with our community and world," or Our motto "Knowing Jesus, Sharing His Love."]
In order to live in harmony, it is necessary that every manifestation of pride be banished. Few kinds of pride are worse than snobbery. Snobs are obsessed with questions of status, they make economic distinction about the company they keep. We are never to be condescending but make real friends among the humble and poor. We must also not be wise in our own estimation thinking ourselves superior to fellow Christians. We must not think we know or understand in and of our own self. We are to let the Holy Spirit and the Word of God be our wisdom.
II. OUR GRACE RESPONSE TO ENEMIES, 17-20.
Verses 17-20 relay four resounding imperatives that summarize the core of Christian relating. All four say the same thing in different words. Retaliation and revenge are absolutely forbidden to the followers of Jesus. Our way of relating to our enemies is not retaliation but service. Verse 17 tackles man's natural retaliatory response. "Never pay back evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men."
The first command is to never to pay back evil for evil to anyone. We are never to move beyond the verbal curse prohibited in verse 14 to an act of revenge. Vindictiveness is the desire to get even with someone for a wrong suffered (1 Thess. 5:15; 1 Cor. 4:12f).
Even the Old Testament law of "an eye for an eye, tooth for tooth... stripe for stripe," is civil law and is not intended for personal revenge. Its intent was to take away over retaliation for any offense from occurring by those whose vengeance is fueled by hurt and anger toward a guilty party. Vindictiveness is of the world, not of the church. We are to live out our distinctiveness. Unbelievers will take note of this rarity.
A right attitude includes keeping our "affairs right in the sight of all." Lives well-ordered by consecration to God and a love for all including persecutors, will grant us an opportunity to gain respect. If our public behavior in the affairs of the world are above criticism and maybe even noteworthy it should commend us and our witness to others who witness our conduct.
Verse 18 reminds us we are to promote peace not only as peace keepers but as peace makers. "If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men."
Fulfilling our duty as a peace maker is conditional because it also depends on the attitudes and responses of our enemies. "If possible" implies that peace is not a compromise of good or truth and is not to be pursued at any price. We must do all we can to promote peace and tolerance without betraying the will of God. Paul therefore says, "so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. He knew that some people-problems may never be resolved. It takes two to quarrel but it also takes two to reconcile.
"Whether between nations or individuals, peace is two-way. By definition, a peaceful relationship cannot be one-sided. Our responsibility is to make sure that our side of the relationship is right, that our inner desire is genuinely to be at peace with all men, even the meanest and most undeserving. Short of compromising God's truth and standards, we should be willing to go to great lengths to build peaceful bridges to those who hate us and harm us. We must forsake any grudge, settle any bitterness and fully forgive from the heart all who harm us. Having done that, we can seek reconciliation honestly." [MacArthur, NT Com. Romans 9-16. Moody. Chicago. p. 202.]
Some people want to be cantankerous. They have a chip on their shoulder. They are looking for a fight. You find them in the workplace, at school, and even in the church. We can't keep them from being that way, but we can choose how to respond. The Apostle Paul says that we should try to live at peace with everyone. That can mean giving up-the right to get in an argument even when you know you are right, and even when you can prove it. It takes wisdom to know when making your point is useful to the other person; and when it just feeds their desire to have a conflict.
Just because someone is fishing for a fight doesn't mean that you have to take the bait! Instead of reacting immediately, take a deep breath and pray for that person, who is sadly trapped in a destructive' habit of picking fights to feed some unsanctified inner compulsion for conflict. You can choose to not energize that person. But note that Paul says to avoid unnecessary conflict "if possible." Sometimes, it is not possible. The other person is simply out-of-bounds in word or action. In that case, be assertive, be direct, and be tough. You do not have to let anyone violate personal boundaries. Indeed, letting some one walk all over you might be feeding their sin habit. But, generally speaking, as much as possible, strive to live in peace with all men.
Verse 19 teaches that vengeance is God's domain, not man's. "Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,' says the LORD."
So there is no misunderstanding Paul reiterates the denouncing of returning evil for evil. We who have received God's grace should ask the all-wise Sovereign Lord to extend the same grace to others.
In this day of lawsuit and incessant attempts to gain legal privileges, the command sounds almost impossible. But we are never to take our own revenge. "If a wrong has been done to us, no matter how serious and harmful it may have been, we are never qualified for or have a right to render punishment for the offense ourselves. We are to leave that to the wrath of God. Quoting from the Mosaic Law, (Deut. 32:35), the apostle reminds his readers that it is written, "‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,' says the Lord" (cf. 2 Sam. 22:48; Nah. 1:2; Heb. 10:30). In His divine time, the wrath of God will come (Col. 3:6), and just retribution awaits the unforgiven." (MacArthur, p. 202). God is not complacent toward evil, but His wrath is just and not vengeful as our to often is. God's wrath is a last resort, not a first option (Deut. 32:35).
The newspaper headline read: No END To CYCLE OF REVENGE IN MIDEAST. In the wake of suicide bombings and military retaliation, the article told of a 28-year-old man consumed with avenging his uncle's death. "When someone dear to you is killed," he said, "you can't sleep; you have to do something." But even after killing two men he considered enemies, he still had no sense of satisfaction. No one can ever win by trying to even the score.
Is there a cycle of revenge in your life today? Perhaps it's an ongoing verbal battle with a co-worker, a spouse, or a child. It may be a simmering feud with a neighbor or even someone at church. Whatever it is, our Lord wants it to end.
Revenge is a weapon of such devastating power that God alone can handle it. He said, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay." The weapon He has entrusted to us is kindness: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink. . . . Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good" (vv.20-21).
[This doesn't mean that we shouldn't appeal to courts for justice in some cases. But because God is just, we don't have to personally repay those who wrong us. With kindness and love, we can bring an end to revenge. [David McCasland. Our Daily Bread]
III. OUR VICTORY OF GRACE, 20-21.
Verse 20 instructs that we should treat our enemies in way that should win them over to Christ. "But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head."
Not returning evil for evil does not fulfill our responsibility. We are asked to minister to our enemy which may be even more difficult than not retaliating. To withhold vengeance is one thing. It requires only doing nothing. But to actually return good for evil requires actions that overcome our natural tendencies and feelings.
Yet that was the obligation of the godly even under the Old Covenant. For here "Paul quotes from Proverbs 25:21-22, citing God's centuries-old injunction: ‘But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head.'"
When someone hurts you deeply, instead of giving him what he deserves, we are to befriend him. This extension of forgiveness breaks the cycle of retaliation and opens the way for reconciliation or it may help your enemy feel ashamed for his evil hurts and change his or her ways. It will certainly free you from the heavy load of bitterness. The thought here is that forgiveness involves attitudes and actions. If you find it difficult to feel forgiving toward someone who has hurt you, try responding as we are commanded here with kind actions and the change of attitude will follow.
The phrase heap burning coals upon his head may refer to an ancient Egyptian custom. When a person wanted to demonstrate public contrition, he would carry on his head a pan of burning coals to represent the burning pain of his shame and guilt. The point here is that, when we love our enemy and genuinely seek to meet his needs," his good conscience will shame him for his hatred. Thus God expects us to leave necessary punishment to Him and busy our self in loving our enemies. [MacArthur, p. 203.] The best way to get rid of our enemies is to turn them into friends.
The Christian must not play God and try to avenge himself. Returning evil for evil, or good for good, is the way most people live. But the Christian must live on a higher level and return good for evil. Of course, this requires love, because our first inclination is to fight back. It also requires faith, believing that God can work and accomplish His will in our lives and in the lives of those who hurt us. [Wiersbe, Warren. Bible Exposition Com. Vol. 1. Victor Books. p. 556.]
In Rumors Of Another World, Philip Yancey tells a story that illustrates the kind of "revenge" Paul spoke about in Romans 12:20, when he said that showing kindness to an enemy will "heap coals of fire on his head."
When Nelson Mandela became president of South Africa, he appointed a commission to bring to trial those who had been guilty of atrocities during the time of apartheid. Any white officer who voluntarily faced his accusers and confessed his guilt would not be punished.
One day an aged woman was brought face-to-face with the officer who had brutally murdered her only son and her beloved husband. Asked what she wanted from him, she said, "Although I have no family, I still have a lot of love to give." She requested that he visit her regularly so she could mother him. Then she said, "I would like to embrace him so he can know that my forgiveness is real."
Yancey writes that as the elderly woman made her way to the witness stand, the officer became so overwhelmed with shame and remorse that he fainted. The pain that woman inflicted was not sinful revenge but the purifying fire of a God-given love that can lead to repentance and reconciliation. That's redemptive revenge. -Herb Vander Lugt
The antithesis of good and evil in verse 21, is the climatic summary of the argument. "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."
No alternative, no neutrality, no middle way is given us. If we curse (14), repay evil for evil (17) or take revenge (19) then because these are evil responses, we have given in to evil. We must not be sucked into the sphere of evil's influence and be used by it or be over come by our own evil responses. Our own evil responding is infinitely more detrimental to us that the evil done to us by others.
It is evil itself that must be overcome and that can be accomplished only with good.
If we refuse to retaliate but instead practice good toward others we will bless our persecutors (14), practice the public good (17), become active in peace-making and peace-keeping (18), leave all judgmentalness to God (19), love and serve our enemy and perhaps win him over to God (20) then we have overcome evil with good. As light overcomes darkness goodness can overcome evil.
CONCLUSION
The world at its worst returns evil for good. The world at its best returns good for good and evil for evil. The follower of Jesus Christ is commanded to return good for evil.
In our thinking and living we need both restraint and action. Both are good. It is good never to retaliate, because if we do evil uses us to do its work. It is even better though to do the positive good, to bless, minister to, seek peace with and to serve and work good so that our enemy might be converted to Jesus and become our eternal friend.
To repay evil for evil is to be overcome by evil. To repay good for evil is to overcome evil with good. This is what Jesus did on the cross. The way of the cross is God's masterpiece of love and grace.
V 17 The infamous 19th-century feud between the Hatfields and the McCoys started with a fight over a razorback hog. It turned into a vendetta that continued unabated for several decades. Members of both clans committed brutal murders, "and their fighting brought heartache to every family in the valley of the Tug Fork River, along the border of Kentucky and West Virginia.
The men who started this bitter and destructive violence, William Hatfield and Randolph McCoy, were responsible for scores of deaths, but they were never brought to justice in a court of law. Although they both lived long lives, they had to watch the suffering and death of their loved ones.
Our vengeance-no matter how right our cause may seem to us-always goes wrong. Only God has the wisdom and patience needed to punish evildoers properly., and to bring them to justice. He treads the winepress of His wrath alone (Isaiah 63:3), and He doesn't need any help from us.
We can endure life's wrongs because we know God will make things right.
I read humorous story about a little girl who was makmg angry faces at a bulldog. Her mother noticed and asked her to stop. The girl said, "But Mom, he started it!"
In one sense, the girl was. right. A bulldog naturally looks tough and mean. But the girl gained nothing by competing with him in making faces.
So too, the person who thinks he must return every angry look he sees, or repay any hurtful deed that is directed toward him, will have a never-ending and profitless job. In fact, in the end he is the one who will suffer the most.
As heirs of the grace of God, we should be gracious in our attitude toward others. The spirit of the world says, "Get even with those who mistreat you." The Spirit of Christ says, "Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you" (Mt. 5:44).
If you want to know how spiritual you are, ask yourself, "What is my attitude toward those who mistreat me? Am I kind, considerate, and loving in my words and actions toward them?"
To live like Christ is not natural; it's supernatural. Only as we yield to the Holy Spirit can we ever hope to exhibit the life of Christ. -Henry G. Bosch
He who throws mud gets dirty hands
