The Seriousness of Christian Marriage
(Mark 10:2-12)
Intro: There are 2 huge decisions we make in this life—maybe 3
The first most important decision---accept Jesus as Savior
Because this one decision has eternal consequences
The third most important—career
How we will make a living –support ourselves-and family
The second most important---who we marry
Because marriage is very important-
For in it we are taking another person to walk beside-share our lives
For many marriage is a big deal—but maybe in wrong way
Thousands upon thousands of dollars are spent on wedding dresses
Flowers-music-reception dinners
Extreme stress is brought about-because of all these plans
Because the couple want this big event—to be perfect
So-every aspect of it—is choreographed to “enth degree”
Yet-with all this money spent and stress expended
Very little time and effort is put into getting ready for the marriage
I get many calls from people wanting to be married at C. Harbor
I tell them I am willing—but required counseling with couple first
And when they hear that-they not call back
Why?
Because we’ve based marriage on wrong things in our nation
Things like sexual attraction—passion
Rather than commitment and compatibility
Idea that if it not work out—they just divorce
And the results—have been disastrous
Divorce rates-growing higher and higher
Lives are shattered---especially children
That’s why when Jesus was approached by some religious leaders
He spoke about the seriousness of marriage
Jesus is asked by these leaders if it is OK to divorce someone
So Jesus asks—well what did the law of Moses say
They said—well Moses said it ok---
Jesus replies-well God only allowed Moses to give
that stipulation--- as a concession
Divorce is NOT what God intends for married couples
You see in Jesus’ day—women were treated as property of men
(Its still that way in many Muslim countries)
They were property that was transferred from fathers household
And brought into the husbands household—
It was like a legal transaction----much like its seen by many today
And if the man found fault with the woman
He could write a letter of divorce-send her out of his household
But by giving her a letter of divorce—
She was free to marry another person----
Why did God allow it—to protect the woman
For if the woman was cast out with no divorce—couldn’t remarry
Thus she would have no one to provide for her
She be w/o home-income
So God allowed this as a means of protection—but not what He wanted
Now—from that-two schools of thought developed
Hillel- who permitted followers to divorce wife on whim
If she argued with husband-wasn’t what he wanted sexually
Or even if she burned t6he bread-she could be cast out
Then there was the other school of thought
Shammai-who took very strict view about divorce
It should only happen in the most extreme of circumstances
Adultery---battering—etc
So-these Pharisees were really asking Jesus
Which interpretation do you think is right
But Jesus doesn’t answer them-knows they have hidden agenda
Instead he lets them know how serious Marriage is
And by His answer to them and His disciples
We learn something that needs to be said about the seriousness
Of Christian marriage
Christian Marriage....
HAS DEFINTION
WOW have we heard all sorts of what
definitions of marriage in today’s society.
Some say that Marriage is simply a civil contract that 2 parties enter into
They go to a judge or justice of peace—get a license
Say a few words—sign a line on paper
They are married—because state says so
It’s kind of like buying a car----problem is there’s no “lemon laws!”
And because in our country this definition is so prevalent
I must have a marriage license in my possession
Before I can marry a couple
And because its seen mostly as a civil contract
Many think that it should be open to any two people
Who want to into it
But Christian marriage is different—Jesus lets us know this
He defines marriage as a holy Covenant and not a civil contract
For He says what God has joined together-no one should separate
Thus marriage is not just some sort of legal contract
Instead God is supposed to be involved---
Thus it becomes something higher—it enters into the spiritual plane
A Holy Covenant that should not be taken lightly
Or broken at whim
That’s where we are as a country today
People think “ I’ll marry this person but if it doesn’t work out
Then I’ll just toss them aside---get a divorce.”
But Christian Marriage is Holy Covenant
So much so that the Catholic church considers it a Sacrament
“An outward and visible sign of a spiritual and inward grace.”
And while we Protestants don’t see it as Sacrament
We do see it as Holy—set apart by God
Something that is to be taken seriously
That’s why –it should never be entered into lightly
You young people-as you think about getting married
Need to hear this-you should not base who you want to marry—
On how “Hot” the person is—how much you want to be with them
Or how much passionate love you feel for them
Because as the years go by—that “person’s hotness may cool”
And that passionate feel good lovey dovey feeling
May not be felt so strongly
But when u understand that Christian marriage is a Holy Covenant
You understand that is based Agape love—
based on unselfish commitment...
And Jesus also defined the two parties that constitute it
"But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.'
A Christian marriage—when he goes all the way back to creation
And Jesus says God made males and females for each other
Thus—according to JESUS-the only 2 parties that can enter into
Christian marriage is one man and one woman!!!!!
The US govt may one day allow two men or two women to marry
But---that will not be a Christian marriage-no matter who marries them
Because Jesus Himself defined marriage—not me
Therefore—if people who follow Jesus’ teachings
Are called Christians-its seems to make sense
That a Christian marriage can only be defines the way Jesus defined it!
Christian Marriage:
HAS REQUIREMENTS
a. Marriage before others…
I’ve known some married couples who still look to mom and dad
More than their spouse for support and help
And I believe this hurts a marriage!
Parents of married children can really hurt their kid’s marriages
By trying to always interfere
Now there may be some cases-they have to—
Like if you have a daughter whose hubby is beating them
Jesus showed us one of the requirements of Christian marriage when he said:“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife”
The man and the woman-when they enter into Christian marriage
Are required to reorient their lives
Around God first and spouse second
They can’t make mom or dad over spouse
Nor can they put their old buddies on same plane as spouse
Instead other than God—they should be each others first love
Putting the needs of the other over the needs of self
B. Agape Love
Paul in the famous love Chapter-
Corin 13- speak about the kind of love that should be involved
Love is not selfish---or demand its own way
The reason why many marriages fail
Is we are selfish sinful people
And want what we want---but Christian marriage
Should be based on sacrificial love
The man putting wife over self
And wife putting husband over self
Many US marriage fail because
One of the parties involved or both
Have the idea-that their needs should be met
And if their spouse loved them—they would meet them
So-if the other person doesn’t-they justify sins
Like watching pornography-having affairs
Or even abandoning the marriage all together
But that is NOT what Christian marriage should be about
C. Only Marry Other Christians (2 Corin. 6)
Another requirement for Christian marriage
Is that both people entering into it—should be Christian
Paul talks about this need in 2 Corinthians 6
Its not easy when a Baptist marries a Methodist
Because they may have there own theological tweaks
But for a Christian to marry a non-Christian is asking for trouble
Why—some say well maybe the Christian will convert the other
But it may happen the other way---
That is why I am very reluctant to marry a person who believe in Jesus
To one who flat out denies Him
Christian Marriage
HAS PURPOSE
Did you know that God intended that there was to
be a purpose in marriage?
No-it not just so we could have God’s blessing
On indulging in fleshly pleasures
And its not just so we can have kids—though that is a special blessing!
The purpose of Christian marriage is hinted at by Jesus as he said
“And the two will become one flesh.”
Now we know the physical union that happens
When a married man and woman come together
And some have thought that is what Jesus was talking about----
But I believe He is pointing out something much higher
That a man and woman who enter into Christian marriage
Should become like a well oiled machine
Running smoothly because all the part function in tandem
There should be such unity between them
That no power of hell or plan of man can split them
That children can go to one parent and get the same exact answer
As they would from the other
You see I really think God’s design for marriage
Was that it would model for lost world
The unity God desires between God and humanity
For God created humanity for Him to love
And to walk in complete harmony
A sense of one nesss between the Creator and the Created
But something happened—that messed all that up....
Which leads to my last point:
Even Christian Marriage
HAS VULNERABILITY
The issue of divorce
If you have never been through one
You do not know how deep emotional pain can hurt
It cuts to your very core
It makes you feel worthless-unloved
It makes you feel branded
Because the church has done such a poor job in dealing with it
In fact in many denominations –
treated like the second unpardonable sin.
So much so—if pastor has ever been divorced-kicked out of ministry
Never to be allowed return
Or even person feeling call of God
Not allowed into ministry—if divorce in their past
They can be a former felon-thief—drug addict-womaniser
All that can be forgiven and put into past and forgotten
If they have gotten saved since then
But if divorce is part of their moral failings
Then—that’s always held against them
Jesus acknowledged that divorce is part of human condition
Because sin is part of human condition
Because of sin in us-we divorced the very one who loved us the most
We ran from the very one who desired unity with us more than any other
So in a way—all humans are divorcées—
because we are separated from God by sin
Sin is what makes even Christian marriages vulnerable
Let me tell you what I mean
Even though Christians may be born again
They are still “in process” for moving from sinner to saint
So they have temptations and struggles with the flesh
That if they are handled wrongly can lead to divorce
For example---a man who is so bent on making name for self
Or amassing great fortune—that he neglects wife and family
To the point the family feels alone
And he gets disconnected with his wife
Along comes good-looking younger woman
Who begins to talk with him a lot
Makes him feel like he used to feel with wife of youth
Soon one thing leads to another---affair—leads to divorce
Or maybe he decides to start going out with guys after work
Even though his not much a drinker-
Begins to “throw back a few” every afternoon
You know just to be with guys
These few drinks get to be a full blown habit
And when he comes home—he’s mean
Beats his poor wife----what is she to do
Stay till he kills her?
Or maybe the wife begins to feel like hubby not pay enough attention
She’s getting older and wants to feel young again---
And the good looking man at work—begins to flirt with her
Then one thing lead to another-----adultery-divorce
All marriages are prone to have problems
And Christian marriage no different
But I honestly believe that the divorce rate among Christians
Can be zero—if we would simply repent of sin
And live as Christ taught us......
You see God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16)
Because he knows it destructiveness
For when humanity chose to listen to lies of Satan
And we ran from God---it hurt us
Divorce tears lives apart
Damages hearts
For that which was one is now torn apart
Kids suffer for it too
But there’s hope!!!!!
Even for all of us divorcées—we sinners
And this hope has a name---Jesus
For through Christ
We can all be reconciled to God
Get a fresh start
Through Christ---marriages that are on the brink
Can be restored
And through Christ—those who have ran from God
Can be made whole----be forgiven
Get a fresh start
But before they come forward
I want to open the altar up
For anyone who would like to come forward for prayer
• Maybe—your marriage is in trouble and you need to pray about it
• Maybe you have children or grandchildren’s whose marriages on rocks
• They have kids who will be hurt
• Maybe you –like me-are a divorced person
• And you just need to know God forgives you for whatever your
Part In what lead to the divorce and you are feeling far from the One whose love you need
The altar is open as we sing together
And if you need to pray—I invite you to come
