Title: You Can’t Please Everyone
Series: TRUTHS We Must Believe #2
I Thessalonians 2:4; Galatians 1:10
CHCC: August 12, 2012
INTRODUCTION:
We’re in a 4-week series called Truths We Must Believe. Last week we focused on the truth: “To err is human.” This week we’re going to talk about another truth that’s a close cousin to that one. If it’s true that “to err is human” (and it certainly IS true) then it follows that “You can’t please everyone.”
This is a truism we’ve all heard hundreds of times. But hearing and believing aren’t the same thing. The fact is that most people (including you and me) spend a lot of time trying to please everyone. Think about it. How much does the opinion of others influence what you do and say? Do you feel deeply upset if anyone has a bad impression of you? Do you ever re-live things in your mind, imagining how you must have looked to everyone else? Just about everyone has a need for approval. But that can all-too-easily turn into approval addiction. That turns us into “people-pleasers.”
Back in 1975 Rick Nelson recorded a song called “Garden Party.” The song tells about the day he learned the truth: " you can’t please everyone." Rick Nelson had been a teen heart-throb in the late 50’s, and he was invited to sing in an “oldies” concert in Madison Square Garden. The problem was, no one recognized him because he changed the way he looked, and instead of singing the familiar oldies exclusively, he also sang some of his new songs … and the crowd booed him right off the stage. That inspired this song (which is now an oldie) sing … or play video - http://youtu.be/OvRVeIeGKu0
The words of the chorus are: Well, it's alright now. I've learned my lesson well. You can't please everyone, so you've gotta please yourself.
“You can’t please everyone, so you’ve gotta please yourself.” The first part is true, but the last part is not the “final answer.” Trying to please yourself isn’t really any better than trying to please other people. We can’t live up to our own expectations any more than we can live up to everyone else’s demands. For a Christian, the goal is not to please self but to please God.
Look at I Thessalonians 2:4 Just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts. (ESV)
Obviously, we shouldn’t completely ignore other people. We need to care about everyone … and we should listen to the opinions of godly men and women. But when it comes right down to it, the only thing that ABSOLUTELY matters is whether or not we are pleasing to God. Looking good to everyone else is not nearly as important as pleasing God.
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus gave several examples of people who did their religious deeds … not to please God … but to try to please everybody else. His conclusion was, “They have their reward.” And even the earthly reward is not that great. People who try to please everyone will eventually wear themselves out!
1. Wear Out
There’s a great example of this in Luke chapter 10. Jesus and the Disciples were staying at Mary and Martha’s house. Martha was bustling around trying to get a meal ready and make everything perfect for these special guests. We don’t know if she was trying to please all of them or if she was trying to meet her own hostess standards. Whatever her motives, she was wearing herself out. And that’s what happens to any of us when we try to please everyone.
Meanwhile, Mary had joined the disciples, sitting at the feet of Jesus and listening to his teaching. Martha came in and said, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” Jesus’ answer has a lot to teach us. “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “You are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:40-42
Only ONE thing is needed – and that’s what Mary chose – to sit at the feet of Jesus and enjoy a relationship with Him. What Mary chose is to focus on pleasing God – and that is the only thing that really matters.
When we try to please everybody, we not only wear ourselves out … we’ll ruin any chance of success. Bill Cosby once said, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” He was right. Trying to please everybody means that when it comes to success, we’ll be a wash out.
2. Wash out
No matter what your job is, chances are you have to try to please someone. You probably have a boss, and you’d better please him. Depending on the job, you have customers or constituents, or patrons, or students … and you can bet every one of them has an opinion.
This is certainly true in church work. When you’re in church leadership, sometimes it seems like everyone you know has an opinion about some aspect of your job! Years ago, I was given some good advice. I read a book that said you need to beware of 2 kinds of people: those who criticize you … and those who idolize you. Both are equally detrimental.
Susan shared a quote she pulled off a friend’s Facebook page: The fastest way to forget what God thinks about you is to start focusing on what other people think about you. Look in Colossians 3:23:“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as though you were working for the Lord and not for people” (TEV)
Do you want success in your work? Then stop focusing on what other people think --- even on what your boss thinks --- and focus on pleasing the Lord during your work day. Working as unto the Lord will make you a real stand-out in any work place!
If you try to please everyone, you find yourself running in circles. Jesus certainly understood this. He said the people of his day were impossible to please. He said it was like trying to play with fussy children who can’t agree on a game, “We played the pipe for you, and you would not dance; we sang a dirge, and you would not mourn.” Matthew 11:17
In Luke 6:26 Jesus said, "It is bad when all people say good things about you. Their fathers always said good things about the false prophets.
Trying to please everyone will wear you out. It will make you a wash-out. But the most detrimental thing is that being a people-pleaser will take your focus off pleasing God – and in the end it will cause you to wimp out.
3. Wimp out
Right after Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem … only days before he would be crucified, John chapter12 records that some of the Religious Leaders actually believed that Jesus was the Messiah.
Verse 42-43 has this sad critique: Many even among the leaders believed in him. But because of the Pharisees they would not openly acknowledge their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue; for they loved human praise more than praise from God.
If we care more about pleasing people than about pleasing God, then we’ll crumble as soon as the pressure’s on. At the very time when we should speak up boldly for Jesus Christ, we’ll wimp out.
In Galatians 1:10, Paul explained this principle. He said, Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
James echo’s that sentiment when he asks, “Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” James 4:4
Jesus warned us against living for the approval of the crowd. He demonstrated the importance of this principle in his own life. Sometimes the crowd wildly accepted him … even trying to crown Him as their King.
The people cried out, "Hosanna! Hail King of the Jews!” Then … a week later, the fickle crowd screamed, "Crucify him!"
Jesus certainly understood this. He never let the opinions of people divert him from His focus on the Father’s will.
John 2:23-25 gives this interesting insight. Now while he was in Jerusalem at the Passover Festival, many people saw the signs he was performing and believed in his name. But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people. He did not need any testimony about mankind, for he knew what was in each person.
Jesus didn't trust himself to the will of the crowd. He doesn't want us to do it either. When we live for the approval of the crowd, we give away the rule of our hearts to the will of the masses.
We lose the direction in our lives. There is no way we can live to please God and live to please people at the same time.
CONCLUSION:
The Bible gives a prime example to prove the point that “You can’t please everyone.” If anyone might have been able to please everyone it would have been the only man to live a perfect life, Jesus Christ. But an ancient prophecy in Isaiah 53:3 gives the truth about Jesus’ approval rating, “He is despised and rejected by men, A man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him”
If people despised and rejected Jesus, why should any of us spend our lives trying to please people? The sad fact is that many folks have become approval addicts. For too many people, approval is the “drug” they crave night and day. But like any other street drug, the effects of approval are short lived, and the addict needs another “hit” all too quickly. It’s a vicious cycle, but treatable.
John 8:32, Jesus said, “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” Jesus Himself IS the truth. He fills those deep needs that we try to fill with people’s approval. It’s Jesus who will set you free from the exhausting and pointless quest to please everyone. And in the process you can experience the freedom of living a life that is pleasing to God.
