August 5, 2012
Handling Hurts
Psalms 23:5
Have you been watching the Olympics? They’re amazing to watch. To see the pure joy of winning, to see someone reach a goal is so cool. Individual and team accomplishments and their celebrations.
Then to watch some athletes, like American, Jordyn Weiber, recover from tears and devastation, as she regained her smile, is moving.
Then there are those athletes that you want to cry for, like the South Korean fencer who lost because the clock stopped working and her opponent was given extra time; and then won.
As we continue our look at Psalm 23, in life we will suffer pain and hurts. We live in a fallen world and imperfect world; and we need to know how to handle the hurts which come into our lives ~ physically, emotionally and spiritually. Sometimes it’s an accident, or it could be intentional damage, maybe it’s a disease we didn’t ask for or want. The bottom line — we all experience pain. Whether it’s our fault or not. Life can bring great joy, and it can bring tremendous pain. So, David wrote ~
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup overflows.
So, how do we handle pain? Most of the time, we handle our pain the wrong way. As I thought about how we handle pain, I came up with at least 5 WRONG ways to handle hurt and a few RIGHT ways.
The 1st wrong way we handle our hurts is to ~
1. IGNORE THE PROBLEM
This is the macho man approach to pain. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the expression and I’ve used it too, “Just suck it up.” Yes, there are times we need to face difficult times, but too many times, we’re guilty of telling kids ~ Pretend your pain doesn’t exist. Hope that it will go away. Be a man, grow up. There are several ways we do this:
Deny the pain – It didn’t really hurt; or I’m not mad.
Delay the pain – I’ll deal with that later. I don’t get mad I get even.
Minimize the pain – It’s no big deal. It didn’t hurt so bad.
Ignoring our hurt never heals it. We like to say, Time heals all wounds – but if we don’t bring healing to the wound, then time will make the wound worse. Denying it, delaying it, minimizing it turns minor problems into major ones. Wounds become infected and spread when they aren’t dealt with. Ignoring our pain doesn’t help, it makes things worse.
2. RUN FROM THE PROBLEM
This is the Chicken approach. Escape. Retreat. Run as fast as you can. For most people, it’s natural, and it’s human nature. We see people like Elijah running from Jezebel, Moses running from Pharoah. Jonah running from God. The prodigal son running from his father. When we feel pain we run. But there are those moments in life when we need to confront it and deal with it.
When people hurt they run. We not only hide, but we find vices, most which are not healthy. Things like sitting and watching television, movies. Alcohol and drugs, shopping, divorce, porn, food or other addictions. Hoping to find relief wherever we can. But when we return the problem is still there. Running doesn’t solve it.
3. HIDE THE PROBLEM
Many of us are good at this. We wear a mask. We don’t tell anyone we hurt. We’re great at camouflaging our pain. When someone asks if we’re OK, we lie and say, ‘everything’s fine.’ We don’t like to admit our hurts. If we admit we’re hurt, it means we’re admitting we’re human and not in as much control as we’d like. It means we’re vulnerable and we don’t like admitting that.
Everybody has hurts. You’re not alone. You’re not even the only one with the hurt you have. Share your hurt in a place which is safe.
4. WORRY OVER THE PROBLEM
Sometimes we hover over our hurt like a mother hen hovers over her chicks. Worry is an attempt to control the uncontrollable. There are things in your life that you can’t change. You’re not God – so why try to be? Often times when we worry, we’re playing the pain over and over again in our life. Paul wrote ~
"Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God." Colossians 3:2-3 (NKJV)
Notice that Paul tells us why we should set our minds on heavenly things: For we died, and our lives are hidden with Christ in God. If Christ is really in charge – why worry?
Worry never solves problems. It never heals hurts. The more you worry, the bigger the problem seems to get.
5. BECOME BITTER ABOUT the PAIN
Bitterness never makes you better. Yet sometimes when people hurt us we become bitter. In many respects, bitterness is a way to control our pain. We get angry and clothe ourselves in self pity. We don’t let anyone in, we condemn the world and those who hurt us. We tell anyone who will listen and sympathize with us. Yet, in the end, bitterness hurts you more then it hurts the person you’re bitter against. Bitterness is self destructive behavior. It’s a poison that will kill you.
Anger and bitterness never heal hurt. It’s okay to become angry, that’s a God given emotion, but we can’t get stuck there, because that leads to bitterness.
Those are 5 WRONG ways to handle hurt, I’m sure there are more. So, what does heal my hurt?
RIGHT WAYS TO DEAL WITH HURT
Now the first thing you absolutely must do to allow verse 5 to work in your life is to admit you’ve been hurt. Admit the pain is real. Again, whether it’s your fault, someone else’s, or the world’s fault. It doesn’t matter, you have to admit your hurting and suffering.
When you do that, this is where Psalm 23 comes back in ~ You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup overflows.
Circle the word “You”. “You” is found in this verse two times. Each time “You” is there with a specific plan. YOU prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. YOU anoint my head with oil. Who is the You? “You” is the Lord Himself. He’s the one who can heal your hurt. So the 1st thing you need to do is:
1. LET JESUS PROTECT YOU
Sheep have many enemies – dogs, wolves, coyotes, bears, ticks, flies, snakes. Sheep are very defenseless. They don’t run fast. They don’t have sharp teeth. They don’t have claws. They need protection; and the Shepherd provides that.
The job of the Shepherd is to lead, feed and oversee. Part of overseeing the sheep is to protect them. God says let Me handle those who have hurt you. Let Me set things straight. Let Me take care of your enemies. Let Me set a table before you – even in the presence of your enemies. Look at what Paul said in Romans 12:17-19:
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
Part of having faith in God, is trusting that He will protect you – even from your enemies. The longer you try to get revenge, the longer you’re not trusting God; and the longer it will take for healing to take place. Let me also add, God’s means of justice is not always our means for justice. God’s wrath comes out in many different forms and in His timing, not ours.
2. LET JESUS HEAL YOU
There are two reasons Shepherds put oil on the heads of sheep – to soothe and to heal. One of the worst enemies of sheep are flies, fleas and ticks. Have you ever been irritated by biting flies? Sheep get irritated too. The flies will bite the sheep so much that they will start bleeding. Then, the bleeding attracts more flies.
Let me add this - The nose fly lays its larvae in the nose of the sheep and as the larvae develops they cause an itching which makes the sheep go crazy. Imagine what something crawling around in your nose would feel like? The remedy is for the shepherd to pour and rub a mixture of linseed oil, sulfur and tar on the sheep’s head which keeps the flies away.
Another habit of sheep is that they love to rub their heads together. This causes a scab, which leads to a highly contagious disease caused by a microscopic parasite. The remedy was to put a mixture of oil, sulfur, and spices on the sheep’s head.
The anointing of the head of the sheep may be compared to the anointing of the Holy Spirit on our lives. Just as the anointing of the oil to the sheep’s head brought contentment, so the anointing of the Holy Spirit brings the potential for power and peace in our lives. He is our true source of contentment.
In Philippians 4:11, Paul said “I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances.” His contentment came from the presence of the Holy Spirit in his life. Today, most people struggle to find contentment, so we try to find it through material things. Our contentment should come from a relationship with God, rather than something we can purchase. Therefore, our contentment is based on our relationship with Him, rather than anything this world can provide.
The Good Shepherd always seeks to bring healing. Sometimes He heals by sending people to us. Sometimes He heals by making His presence unmistakably known in our lives. Sometimes healing takes place quickly, sometimes it takes time. Sometimes, it occurs in death. That’s the ultimate healing. But God always heals if we trust Him.
And even when we’ve been totally healed there are scars. There are always scars after you’ve been hurt. You have a choice when you look at those scars – you can either look at the scars and remember the hurt – or you can look at the scars and remember the healing . . . and proclaim, “my cup overflows!” That’s your choice. You can focus on the hurt or focus on the Healer.
The third thing you can do is:
3. LET JESUS BLESS YOU
In the Bible an overflowing cup is a symbol for total satisfaction. It represents that all my needs are cared for. I am totally taken care of. I am totally blessed.
I’m not just a little blessed – I’m totally blessed! I’m super sized bless! My cup is up to the brim and spilling out. My cup is overflowing.
“How does Jesus bless you?”
Are you living an overflowing life? Are you living in God’s abundance? Are you living in God’s victory? Let me tell you, if we have Jesus as our Savior we should be able to say MY CUP IS OVERFLOWING!! But do we?
Our cup overflows with ~ HOPE ~ Paul wrote
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 (NKJV)
Do you abound in Hope? We sing about it don’t we? “My Hope is built on nothing less – then Jesus’ blood and righteousness. I dare not trust my sweetest frame – but wholly lean on Jesus name.” But do we believe it and live it?
OUR cup runs over with LOVE
In 1 Thessalonians 3:12, Paul wrote ~ And may the Master pour on the love so it fills your lives and splashes over on everyone around you, just as it does from us to you." (MSG)
Do you believe God loves you? He loves you so much that He died for you. Believe it or not . . . it’s true, Jesus died for you to give you life.
My cup runs over with JOY
In John 16:24 we read ~ Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask in my name, and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.
We are always to ask in God’s name, not according to our wants and whims. If our asking is part of God’s will we will receive. God is the One who will cause our cup to overflow. Lastly,
Our cup overflows with Holy Spirit POWER
In Ephesians 3:21, Paul wrote, Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us,
