We’ve been told that Time heals all wounds.
Our unwillingness to confront sin, or talk about broken relationships confirms that at least some of the time, we follow this advice.
But as we know, time does not heal all wounds. Come with me to the Church of the Holy Sepulcher in Jerusalem. Roman Catholics, Greek Orothodox and several other denominations consider it the place of Christ’s crucifixion and burial. Each denomination stakes claim to various parts of the church, which has been a source of conflict for centuries. As you approach the church, there is ladder strangely leaning on one of the balconies. It’s been there at least since the middle 1800’s. No one dares move the ladder because it might lead to an international incident.
SOURCE: http://atlasobscura.com/place/immovable-ladder-church-holy-sepulchre
Closer to home, I read of a man still seeking revenge after 30 years! SARATOGA SPRINGS, N.Y. (AP) "Police say a 30-year grudge boiled over when a former elementary school teacher littered the driveways of former co-workers and bosses with roofing nails and splattered paint on their garage doors. Thomas R. Haberbush, 72, pleaded guilty last Tuesday to one count each of stalking, criminal mischief and criminal tampering, all misdemeanors. Police said that three former school board members, a retired principal and a retired assistant principal at Caroline Street Elementary School were among the nine victims Haberbush targeted over the past two years. Their car tires were damaged by roofing nails that Haberbush threw in the driveways, police said. "It’s very bizarre to carry around a grudge for nearly 30 years," said Saratoga Springs police investigator John Catone. "At least now there can be closure for all those people he terrorized." Police said Haberbush had been angered after receiving poor work reviews. Saratoga County assistant district attorney
Time does not heal all wounds.
This sermon focuses on the broken relationship of Jacob and Esau. We will learn that broken relationships must be healed through confession and forgiveness in a way that honors both TRUTH in judgement and GRACE in forgiveness.
DEEP WOUNDS CAUSE GREAT PAIN.
Esau is wounded when his mother Rebekah and brother Jacob conspire to deceive him and their father. This story is contained in Genesis chapters 27-32.
The story begins with Rebekah, who has a serious character flaw of deception. We see her acting deceptively in at least three stories.
The first is the possible deception regarding Esau’s birthright. We studied this last week and discovered that Esau “returned from the open country” when he was hungry. This might refer to him coming home, where no doubt Rebekah would have been, and who might have influenced Jacob to deceive Esau and have him relinquish his birthright.
Rebekah’s second act of dishonesty is the deception of Isaac’s Blessing. We are familiar with the story as it is told in Genesis 27:1–10 "When Isaac was old and his eyes were so weak that he could no longer see, he called for Esau his older son and said to him, “My son.” “Here I am,” he answered. " "Isaac said, “I am now an old man and don’t know the day of my death. " "Now then, get your equipment—your quiver and bow—and go out to the open country to hunt some wild game for me. " "Prepare me the kind of tasty food I like and bring it to me to eat, so that I may give you my blessing before I die.” " "Now Rebekah was listening as Isaac spoke to his son Esau. When Esau left for the open country to hunt game and bring it back, " "Rebekah said to her son Jacob, “Look, I overheard your father say to your brother Esau, " "‘Bring me some game and prepare me some tasty food to eat, so that I may give you my blessing in the presence of the Lord before I die.’ " "Now, my son, listen carefully and do what I tell you: " "Go out to the flock and bring me two choice young goats, so I can prepare some tasty food for your father, just the way he likes it. " "Then take it to your father to eat, so that he may give you his blessing before he dies.”"
The third deception of Rebekah is the deception of Jacob’s Departure. In this part of the account found in Gen 27:45-46, Rebekah knows that Esau is intent on killing Jacob because of his trickery regarding Isaac’s blessing. She wants Jacob to flee to her brother Laban, hundreds of miles away, but she knows that Jacob cannot simply break ties with his father Isaac. She tricks Isaac into sending Jacob away by complaining to Isaac about the Canaanite women in their land. Isaac then sends Jacob away, thinking the idea was his own. The scene reminds me of a similar scenario in a modern film, “My Big Fat Greek Wedding.” In one scene, the daughter needs daddy’s permission to leave the family business. Knowing he would never give it, the wife and daughter conspire to get the father to do something when he thinks it was “his idea.” I wonder if the writers of that script were familiar with this story from the Old Testament!
The pain of this deception causes Esau to hate his brother.
Genesis 27:36 "Then he said, “Is he not rightly named Jacob, for he has supplanted me these two times? He took away my birthright, and behold, now he has taken away my blessing.” And he said, “Have you not reserved a blessing for me?”"
Genesis 27:41 "So Esau bore a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing with which his father had blessed him; and Esau said to himself, “The days of mourning for my father are near; then I will kill my brother Jacob.”
It is not hard to see how Esau would be wounded to the very core of his being by the deception of his own brother and mother!
Wounds like can change the course of our lives. Unless we know how to deal with these kinds of wounds, our lives can become captive to pain and bitterness.
DEEP PAIN REQUIRES GREAT FORGIVENESS
The deeper the pain, the greater the forgiveness required to heal our souls and keep us from all encompassing bitterness. This is no small task. We read in Proverbs 18:14 "The spirit of a man can endure his sickness, But as for a broken spirit who can bear it?"
Again, we read of the difficulty in winning back someone who has been deeply offended. Proverbs 18:19 "A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a citadel."
In the end, Esau does forgive Jacob. After years of separation, they are united again in Genesis 33:1-4. But it is not time that heals their wounds. It is a change of heart in Jacob, who appeases his brother with gifts reflecting his guilt of having taken Esaus’ rightful possessions. Even though reconciled, years of friendship were lost. Children were born that never knew one another. Memories were forfeited to the refusal of stubborn pride. Such is the result of broken relationships. We are the ones who suffer.
Scripture reminds us of the importance of healing, forgiveness and restoration. Forgiveness is the mark of a Christian. Christ is our example. He forgave us of an infinitely greater degree of offence than anything that anyone will ever do to us. Because of this, we are commanded to practice forgiveness and to be in unity with our brothers and sisters.
At the end of a powerful parable about forgiveness, Jesus concludes the story by saying in Matthew 18:35 “My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”"
Minor offences should be overlooked (Proverbs 19:11 "A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression.") but serious offenses must be reconciled.
Reconciliation must be based in TRUTH. Restitution must be made when it is necessary. We see this in Zaccheus. Even though he is a new believer in Jesus and his sins are forgiven, he properly recognized that the debts that he owed must be repaid. He says in
Luke 19:8 "But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.”"
The book of Philemon is a great text to demonstrate forgiveness and restoration. Paul encourages his friend Philemon to forgive his run-away slave Onesimus, who has now become a follower of Jesus and thus, the spiritual brother of Philemon. In Paul’s appeal, he recognizes that Philemon is legally due restitution, and offers to pay it himself. Paul does not ignore the debt, but rather offers a way to satisfy Onesimus’ obligation to Philemon. Philemon 18 "If he has done you any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me."
We are called to peace! Hebrews 12:15 "See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled;"
Colossians 3:15 "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful."
Matthew 5:9 "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God."
James 3:18 "Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness."
RECONCILING A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES GREAT COURAGE
Jacob follows the voice of God. God had told Jacob that he must return to the Land that He promised. After years of separation from Isaac and Esau, Jacob follows God’s commands and returns to the Land of Canaan. This is a major step in Jacob’s life and an act of obedience. The only thing hindering him from returning was his broken relationship with Esau. But Jacob comes to the point of putting God’s will before the obstacles of human circumstances. In doing this, Jacob is acting out in faith rather than fear, and God blesses him for doing so.
God’s command to Jacob was clear. He was to live in Canaan.
Genesis 28:15 "I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”"
Genesis 32:9 "Then Jacob prayed, “O God of my father Abraham, God of my father Isaac, Lord, you who said to me, ‘Go back to your country and your relatives, and I will make you prosper,’"
Genesis 31:13 "I am the God of Bethel, where you anointed a pillar and where you made a vow to me. Now leave this land at once and go back to your native land.’ ”
Restoration with Esau was required in order for Jacob to return. Jacob takes the following bold steps to help that restoration occur.
1. JACOB INITIATES RECONCILIATION. Gen 32:1-5
Rodney Buchanon, in a sermon titled “Families and Forgiveness” (sermoncentral.com) tells us of an ancient door on display in St. Patrick’s cathedral in Dublin, Ireland. The rough hewn door has a rectangular hole hacked out in its center. It is called the “Door of Reconciliation,” and gives rise to the Irish expression of “chancing one’s arm.” In 1492, two prominent Irish families, the Ormonds and Kildares, were in the midst of a bitter feud. As the feud grew and turned into an all out fight, the Earl of Ormand was besieged by the Earl of Kildare. The Earl of Ormand and his family and followers took refuge in the chapter house of St. Patrick’s cathedral and bolted themselves in. However, as the siege wore on, the Earl of Kildare concluded the feuding was foolish. Here were two families worshiping the same God, in the same church, living in the same country, trying to kill each other. So Kildare called out to the Earl of Ormand and pledged that he would not seek revenge or indulge in villainy — he wanted the Ormands to come out and the feud to be over. But the Earl of Ormand was convinced that it was a scheme full of treachery and refused to come out of the cathedral. So Kildare grabbed his spear, chopped a hole in the door with it, and thrust his hand through. There was a tense moment until his hand was grasped by another hand inside the church. The door was opened and the two men embraced, thus ending the family feud. From Kildare’s noble gesture came the expression: “chancing one’s arm.”
Jacob was “chancing his arm” by returning to Esau. He did not know if he would be received or killed, but he takes the initiative and makes the first step. Sometimes, that’s all that it takes!
1. JACOB CONFRONTS HIS OWN FAILURES. Read the narrative in Gen 32:22-39. It contains the story of Jacob wrestling with the Lord and not letting Him go until he blessed him. This time, Jacob is seeking God for a blessing, and not trusting his own deceptive ways. This marks a major turning point in the life of the Patriarch.
3. JACOB FACED HIS GREATEST FEAR, AND HIS GREATEST PERSONAL CHALLENGE. It is difficult to recognize our own points of failure and even more difficult to admit them. But Jacob would NO LONGER BE THE DECEIVER! He puts it all out in order to be reconciled.
4. JACOB TRUSTED GOD FOR THE RESULT. In Gen 32:9-12, Jacob precedes his human action in returning to Canaan with a deeply personal prayer asking God to lead him.
The wrath of Esau is appeased by God’s grace, through Jacob’s confession, restoration and bold faith. There is a positive end to this story, and also a powerful lesson to us.
THE DEEP PAINS OF OTHERS ARE NO MATCH FOR THE GREATER GRACE OF GOD!
Rebekah conspired
Jacob deceived
God still accomplished his plan!
God still blessed Jacob!
God still blessed Esau!
God still preserved the line for the Messiah
And God will bless you as you learn that broken relationships must be healed through confession and forgiveness in a way that honors both TRUTH in judgement and GRACE in forgiveness.
