The heart of Forgiveness
Matthew 6:14-16
Introduction
I want to continue our series “Nuts and Bolts of life.” We have looked at several areas of our lives that we depend on God to give us guidance and direction.
This morning I want to look at forgiveness, and with it also un-forgiveness.
What is it and what it is not.
How it affects you and how it affects those who have wronged you.
Jesus in the sixth chapter of Matthew speaks directly to the Jewish believers.
He says that when you pray, don’t pray like the hypocrite that are just seeking attention.
Jesus teaches us the Lord’s prayer that most of us learned as a child and we will recite it here: (Matthew 6:9)
Our Father in heaven
Hallowed be your name
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us today our daily bread
Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors
And lead us not into temptation but delivery us from the evil one
Leading into our text this morning from Matthew 6:14-15
“For if we forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Here would be a great time to pray this morning that the Lord would help us with this passage.
Prayer-
Peter spent time with Jesus and he did not get it right. You know the story.
Jesus, how many times should I forgive? Seven? Seven is the Jewish custom, but Jesus blowing them out of the water said no, 70 X7.
Showing them not the importance of the number or how many, but forgiveness is the end result.
Parable of the unmerciful servant who was forgiven a great debt by his master after asking for mercy and upon receiving it went out to one of his servants that owed him much less and showed no mercy.
Hurting people hurt people! That is what they do!
People today are hurting, the baggage that most carry is enough to break the camel’s back.
Dog eat dog
I’ll get you before you get me!
So bitter that most are quick to throw the hammer down on someone just to show them who is boss.
As Christians, God expects us to handle our lives different .
Being Christians has never been about being better, it is about being different.
Christians should understand the cost of forgiveness and be willing to show that same mercy to someone that has wronged us.
It is realizing that we had a debt that we could not pay and Jesus paid the debt for us. Then going out and living that life to others.
Once we realize it and live it-
Hope replaces our hurts.
Healing replaces bitterness.
Hang on, I did not say that was easy and I didn’t say we could do that by ourselves.
I did however say that God demands it for our lives.
So what is forgiveness?
By definition, it is a pardon. Someone receives something that they did not deserve. Just like you received forgiveness and you did not deserve it.
I believe forgiveness is a choice.
A decision of our will motivated by our obedience to the Lord and His command to us to forgive.
The Bible instructs us- forgive as the Lord forgives you!
How do you forgive when you don’t feel like preacher!
You make a decision to forgive and you forgive by faith.
We trust God to do the work in us that needs to be done so the forgiveness will be complete.
Illustration-
Years ago, I shared that I struggled with God when my mother was diagnosed with cancer. God, I am 800 miles away, and I don’t understand what is happening here! I called some board members and I was making plans to go home for awhile. My mother decided that she needed to do this by herself and almost daily I was in contact with my brother. I was upset at God. No, I was mad at God! He knew it, so why hide it. God seeing mad and telling me that he knew she was my mom, and that He loved her more than I did.
God sees our heart.
God knows our heart
God made our heart.
God can change our heart.
Forgiveness must take place so healing can begin.
No matter what the outcome, forgiveness needs to happen.
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Col. 3:13)
By faith, believe that He will do what He says that He will.
“Being confident of this, that He who begun a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil 1:6)
I believe that God honors our commitment to obey Him, and our desire to please Him when we choose to forgive.
How will we know that we have truly forgiven?
Lewis Smedes in a book “forgive and forget” says that “when you release the wrongdoer from the wrong, you get a malignant tumor out of your life. You set a prisoner free, but you discover that the real prisoner was yourself.”
Waitress messes up your order or spills a little coffee on you, you may be upset, but you won’t have lasting scares.
Person breaks your table lamp, you forgive because you know it was an accident.
Forgiveness is hard! You need God’s help! The pain is real!
In college, we had a course on grief.
The 5 stages of grief.
1. Denial or isolation
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
These are the 5 steps you will go through when traumatic things happen in your life! Guaranteed!
I understood them then and their logic when I was studying. Then something traumatic happened and I found myself living within each of those stages.
I needed God’s help at that time and felt the hurt of each one of those stages.
I remember that grieving time is a personal process that has no time limit or one right way to get through it.
I needed God to help me through the process and I needed Him to help me endure the pain.
I needed God to help me forgive the un-forgiveables of my life.
What happens when we don’t forgive?
We get bitter.
We get eaten up inside by the actions and words of someone else.
We allow someone else to take control of our lives because we are obsessed with what has happened.
Romans 8:28
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”
Forgiveness is an act of faith! (repeat)
We forgive because God told us too.
We forgive because we want healing.
We forgive others, not because we want to forget, but that we want to move forward.
It is not for the other person, it is for ourselves.
Putting whatever it is in God’s hands, because He knows best.
Forgiving is not letting someone steal our joy.
Jesus says it is not easy- that is why we need his help. It is not a one- time thing.
Forgive until the matter is settled between you and God
It is okay to be angry. Just direct it properly.
It is okay to have questions, but be seeking God’s answers.
Prayer is the best way to break down a barrier or wall of un-forgiveness.
Don’t wear your feeling on your sleeve, understand that you are not perfect and nether is anyone else.
Closing,
There is a book called “landmines in the path of the believer”
Guess what one of the landmines is? Un-forgiveness.
Refusing to forgive leaves the door open for bitterness, depression, resentment.
Close that door! And open your heart to the Lord.
Forgiveness always seems so easy, when we need it, and so hard when we need to give it.
Fresh start Devotionals
Maybe this morning, you would be willing to let God begin healing you of past hurts that affect you today.
You don’t pretend that they are not there! There real and you need God to heal that hurt.
You don’t need to put on that false face- you need God to place hope where hurt was.
You give up your right for revenge to the Lord, so he can heal you and deal with that person or situation.
The scriptural way to deal with hurt is not to deny it, but bring it to God’s light so that it can be healed.
Action steps to forgiveness
1. Acknowledge the hurt- don’t make excuses.
2. Ientify the emotions- tell God what you need this morning.
3. Set boundaries- ask God how to keep this from happening again.
4. Make a commitment to forgive and move on with God’s help.
Clara Barton- the founder of the Red Cross said, “I choose to move on.”
Why don’t you do the same this morning?
God will help you
