Some of you have been married many years – much longer than me and my wife…some 30 years…some 40…one couple over 50 years. Isn’t that amazing! But how long have you been married to the Lord? How is that marriage? He is much more passionate about your relationship than you ever could be for your spouse – after all he gave himself for your love. Could there be any greater demonstration of his love? And on the day that you responded to him, there was a far greater celebration than any earthly wedding. All of heaven rejoiced when you received Christ as your Savior.
So he is very passionate about that relationship and jealous about having you to himself and that you continue to love him, serve him and give him glory.
The second most important relationship that you have in life is to your spouse. You are united in spirit, soul, and body to that one person. You also have a great celebration and passion for that person.
At the same time, our enemy, Satan has no greater passion than to destroy our first marriage - that relationship with the Lord. He doesn’t want you giving honor, glory, and praise to Jesus. And one very crafty way he does that is found here in the book of Malachi: by attacking covenant relationships of marriage. This is a two pronged attack which begins with those who are yet unmarried.
1. Marrying outside of the family of God. (2:10-12)
God created us to marry – to bond with the opposite sex and live as partners for life. But when marriage gets in the way of our first love, the Lord God, then something is seriously wrong. How does that happen? First of all through romantic relationships with those who are not believers.
Why is this so dangerous? Why can’t two people have two different belief systems and be tolerant of each other in marriage? Isn’t that what marriage is all about – compromise?
Malachi has some strong words to say about this because this is exactly what was happening to the Jews when this was written. They were marrying outside of the faith. Now we’re not talking Lutherans marrying Baptists or Methodists marrying Pentecostals. This is someone who doesn’t believe in the Lord God marrying a believer.
Malachi says that - It profanes the worship of the Lord.
Malachi 2:11 Judah has profaned the sanctuary of the LORD which He loves and has married the daughter of a foreign god.
The scripture says “profaned.” The word means that something is polluted. Now people are not garbage. God loves all people and desires them to be saved. But the point is that if you’re not forgiven by God and cleansed of your sin through faith in the complete work of Jesus Christ who died for you on the cross, you are bearing on your shoulders the entire burden of sin, shame, and death. You are covered by the filth of sin and have no access to God. But on the other hand, a believer is said to be a temple of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit dwells in the life of a Christian. And how can you bring in a non-believer to the temple of God?
Marriage is not evangelism
A common reason to marry a non-believer? I will bring him or her to the Lord! Maybe that’s the intention – but most often reality is the opposite – you will suffer and have to compromise YOUR faith.
During the rehearsal for her wedding a nervous bride was having a difficult time remembering all the details. Her kind pastor took her aside at the end of the night and said, “When you enter the church tomorrow, you will be walking down the same aisle you’ve walked down many times before. Concentrate on the aisle. And when you get halfway down the aisle, concentrate on the altar. And, when you reach the end of the aisle, your groom will be waiting for you. Concentrate on him. Focus on the aisle, then look at the altar, and finally, lock eyes with your man. That’s all you have to do.”
That seemed to help a lot, and on the day of the wedding, the beautiful but nervous bride walked flawlessly down the aisle. But people were a bit taken aback as they heard her repeating these words during the processional, “Aisle, alter, him. Aisle, alter, him. I’ll alter him.”
Scripture encourages us to have relationships in this world in order to share the gospel – we become all things to all men to reach them with the message of salvation. But marriage is not for the purpose of bringing someone to salvation. It’s a covenant which bonds Spirit, Soul, and Body. You are literally one flesh. It is a commitment of two people who are going the same direction in this life and the next one. It’s a knitting of souls together.
This is why it is such a contradiction if one person who is covered by the righteousness of Jesus Christ; one lives for the glory of Jesus and the spouse is serving something or someone else. Who reigns in the marriage? Who is lord? Jesus is certainly not lord over a mixed marriage – he can’t be because half of the body is not submitted to Him. No one can be half in the light and half in the dark – it’s an impossibility. And so also, Christ will not have full reign in such a marriage.
Serving God or Satan
Look at what is written in 2 Cor. 6:14-16 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15 What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God;”
Now I can’t imagine a Christian man or woman who is in love saying their beloved serves Belial (or Satan). After all, not every non-believer is a Satan worshiper. And certainly the Scripture isn’t saying that.
But then what is the Lord saying here? He’s saying that anyone who does not serve Christ is ultimately serving the purposes of the enemy who is Satan. It doesn’t mean that person is horribly evil, masochistic, and vulgar. Not at all! But if you are not serving Jesus Christ, if he is not your Lord, than whose side are you on?
You might say, “I’m on my own side!” That means that you are against God. Either you serve God or you are against him. It doesn’t matter if you serve self, Allah, Buddha, your TV, bank account, or computer. If you are not serving God, you are on the side of the enemy. There is no third alternative. It’s black and white – we either serve God and his purposes or we ultimately are serving the enemy and his purposes without even realizing it.
Making the choice
So it all comes down to a major decision in life – what is more important? The Lord God or a relationship with someone who is serving the enemy of God. Joshua confronted the people of Israel at the end of his life. He knew that they had that choice to make. He knew that the easiest route was to compromise – to join the people who live in the land. Marry their beautiful women and men. Farm side by side with them and unite. But he saw the horrible consequences – the Lord would be profaned! They would leave their first love!
And so he challenged them: Joshua 24:15 And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the LORD, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD." Notice that he didn’t give them a third or fourth option. He didn’t say “choose if you will serve the Lord, or if you will serve your self, or if you will serve these gods.” No! Because it’s either serve the Lord or serve the enemy. Decide!
2. Unfaithfulness within marriage (2:13-15)
There is a second area in which the enemy successfully attacks our relationship to God and that is by attacking our present marriage. If he can destroy our faithfulness to our spouse, he can also damage our relationship with God. They are intertwined. God first, and spouse second. Those two relationships rule over all others on the earth.
Read with me 2:13-15…
• Marriage is a “companionship” – a partnership of life (14)
There are many important aspects about marriage that are crucial in this short passage. First, Malachi makes the point that marriage is companionship – a partnership of life. In Genesis Eve and Adam were created to be helpers to each other – side by side not for part of life but a lifetime.
Those who are married have to realize that your spouse has gifts, abilities, strengths where you have weaknesses and vice-versa. I’ve seen that myself as I can be totally blind to a problem or an issue but it’s my wife who sees it and brings it up. Now the key is seeing those differences not as annoyances but as assets. Receive the unique insights and abilities and differences of your spouse as a blessing from God. If not, you will drive each other apart and there will be no companionship.
• Marriage is a “covenant” of faithfulness (14).
Malachi also teaches us that marriage is a covenant. It’s a vow as much as a relationship to God is a vow to worship only one God and serve Him. This is not like any friend or acquaintance in life. Marriage is a vow of faithfulness to that one person. The moment when we view it as something else – a relationship that we can get out of, we open the door for disaster. Why? Because then instead of working through problems and growing together through that, we simply say, “this isn’t working! I don’t get along with you anymore. Let’s divorce!” No! This is a lifelong covenant of faithfulness.
• Marriage impacts your relationship to God
Thirdly, Malachi teaches here that when we are unfaithful in marriage we are sinning against God and our relationship with him is in danger.
Read with me verse 13-14a. What happened to the Jews at this time? There were believers – in this case they were priests - who married and worshiped God and yet many were unfaithful to their spouses.
Notice the attitude of the believers from that time: Why aren’t you accepting me? They were religious and offering sacrifices and worshiping in the temple and were still rejected by God and didn’t know why.
It’s amazing that people of God that can seem so faithful can be totally blind to something that is obvious to God as sin. And it took at that time this strong confrontation from the Prophet to cause them to see how they are dealing treacherously with their spouse by finding another love. The confrontation was so strong, that they were crying out to God in the Temple.
Blind spots
This can easily be the case for any one of us and I’m not even talking about marriage. We can have blind spots - areas in our behavior or lifestyle that we have compromised for so long that we don’t see anything wrong in it. But God sees it and knows sin for what it is. We don’t see anything wrong.
That was a wake-up call for these Jews – “You are mistreating the precious partner and companion I gave you for life and you expect me to bless you? Wake up!”
We all have various blind spots. We have areas in our life that are not in order and we don’t see it. But God does. Maybe for you it has to do with some aspect of your marriage. Or maybe it has to do with a lack of compassion for someone. Or maybe you’ve compromised morally in an area for so long that you don’t think twice about it.
A couple years ago I was confronted with a blind spot as I drove down Stoltzman Road. A policeman stopped me for speeding – 10 miles over the limit. I was thankful he let me go with a warning. But it was a wakeup call from God. Not that I was worried about getting caught or paying a fine. But it was a wakeup call that I realized that I consistently disregarded the law. Why? because everybody does it. It’s acceptable. And I realized its hypocrisy.
Now, that’s just me and my personal conviction from the Lord. But we all have blind spots and these are areas which limit our effectiveness as a witness, as a testimony, and in our relationship with the Lord. And more importantly, when blind spots are revealed and we confess them, great things happen.
1. Giving up the idea of marriage to an unbeliever is a great sacrifice and yet God will provide an even greater blessing in the end!
2. Faithfulness to your spouse through thick and thin is a lot of work and sacrifice, but will result in making you more like Jesus and you will be blessed and be a greater blessing to your spouse than ever before.
3. God will open doors of testimony through your life
Friends, pray that God would reveal to you areas that need confession and change. And when you see them, don’t give excuses. Confess and follow after the leading of the Lord. He only wants the best for you – he is your first love!
