“God’s Love – our Life”
July 29, 2012
John 3:16-17
Last Sunday I talked a little bit about love, how it is our need in our church and in each one of our lives. We need love like a fish needs water. We need love like we need air. We really can’t live without it. We all readily realize and accept that. We have a basic knowledge of the kind of love we need. Sometimes it is warm and fuzzy and makes us feel secure. We need that kind of love.
Last week I didn’t speak so much on that kind of love. I didn’t speak on the receiving of love. I spoke more on us expressing our love for others. We don’t do so well at that. We say we love everyone in the whole world – then treat our mates or our friends or our church family harshly. And why not? That is what we have been taught by our elders – right? As young Christians, learning how to be Christians, our parents, pastors or older Christians in the church demonstrated that you can be holy and harsh at the same time. They gave us the verbal testimony of holiness and then proceeded to be mean spirited in some way. How many times have we seen a supposedly mature Christian rip us or someone else to shreds – sometimes in the name of God.
Friends, this ought not to be – yet I am afraid it is the norm in most churches. The Bible tells us what love is like. I mentioned these Scriptures last week – but let me share them again.
1 Corinthians 13:4-6
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Galatians 5:22-23
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control...”
I have always felt that this verse should read “The fruit of the Spirit is love...” Then the expression of love is joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Many Biblical scholars agree with me – but the point we need to see is that if we are Spirit filled, the fruit expressed through that relationship is love. God is love. And the expression of love is joy – when our flesh tends to depression or sorrow. It is peace when our flesh tends to anxiety. An expression of love is kindness when we naturally want to be mean. It is kindness when we want to hurt someone. It is goodness – when our natural inclination is to be bad. An expression of love is faithfulness when our natural desire is to be unfaithful, inconsistent, and erratic. It is gentleness when our natural instinct is to be harsh. Love is especially expressed in controlling our self when we naturally would be out of control emotionally.
It is important to realize our dual nature – flesh and spirit. Paul writes:
“But I say, walk in the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other to keep you from doing the things you want to do.” Galatians 5:16-17 (NEV)
Paul says in verse 14 and 15: “For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ But if you bite and devour one another watch out that you are not consumed by one another.”
Because we are born fallen, depraved and lost – our first instinct is almost always wrong. Our first inclination is almost always the wrong thing to do. Even after we are saved and entirely committed to God – we have to train ourselves how to act in a Christlike manner. It isn’t the natural thing to do. We have to realize God’s will ‘spiritually’ then intellectually CHOOSE to reject our fleshly instinct and CHOOSE to do what the Spirit leads us to. We have to train ourselves in godliness daily. This is a maturing process.
Can you be a Christian and be immature? Certainly! But too many long time Christians who know the Christian language and are familiar with the Bible never mature into Christlikeness. Just because you are old doesn’t mean you are mature. And just because someone has been in the church their whole life or has even gone to a Christian college doesn’t mean you should imitate them. People will lead you astray even with good intentions. Our example needs to be Christ. Our code of conduct needs to be God’s Word. We need to be seekers of Christ. We need to be followers of Christ. We need to be Christlike in all we do.
Having said that, let me share with you the three ‘C’s’ of love the Lord gave me this week. I have to tell you I was a little anxious; a little worried, about this sermon. Love is a huge subject. I realize I can’t do it justice. I will leave out stuff and not deal with certain aspects of love. I was frustrated. So I kind of threw up my hands and laid my concerns before the Lord – and almost instantly He place these three words on my heart. Commitment, Communication, and Consistency. Let me share what I learned.
First, love is expressed best in commitment. We see that in God’s love toward us. He says,
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified... for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you or forsake you.”
Deuteronomy 31:6
“The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you or forsake you...” Deuteronomy 31:8
“For the sake of His great name the Lord will not reject His people...”
1 Samual 12:22
“...I am with you always – to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20
“...nothing in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:39
God first demonstrated His love for his people with a promise of commitment. A loving relationship must always be based on commitment. You are going to disagree, get mad at each other, be disappointed in each other – and all the rest. And if your relationship is not based on commitment it will be destroyed. A loving relationship must be based on commitment by both parties – otherwise it will disintegrate. It will fall apart. It won’t last. All earthly relationships are imperfect – because we are human with natural wrong tendencies. If we are not committed to ‘death us do part’ our relationships won’t last. That is why there are so many divorces. That is why there are so many church hoppers. That is why there are so many immature Christians. We lack commitment and our relationships are so shallow.
Can I encourage you to make a commitment to, or renew your commitment, to God, to the church, to your marriage partner and to whatever relationship you want to last. A loving relationship must be based on commitment.
Secondly, a loving relationship must be based on healthy communication. Once we are committed in our relationship – then we must choose to communicate in a healthy way. What is healthy communication? God tells us. First, it is often.
Jesus taught us to pray daily. He said, “Give us today our DAILY bread”. David prayed morning, noon, and night. We are to pray ‘always’ on ‘every occasion’.
So rule one is to communicate often. Secondly, you need to commit to rule two which is to never be derogatory. The Word says,
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up – according to their needs- that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29
No ‘unwholesome’ talk; no ‘corrupt communication’; no destructive or hurtful words should ever come out of your mouth. We need to ask ourselves “Is this going to be destructive or constructive?” “Is this going to put them down or lift them up?” And sometimes we can be so hurtful and insulting without ever raising our voice or use a swear word. Again, older Christians have taught us this, you can tear someone up, insult them, humiliate them, belittle them, in a Christian way. In other words, if we claim to be holy; if we claim to be loving – we can rip and slash away. No! Don’t ever do it! It is never okay to be hurtful with your words or in your tone or the volume of your voice. The rule is ‘nothing derogatory come out of our mouths.’
The third rule is to speak the truth – in love. The Word says,
“Speak the truth in love...” Ephesians 4:15
“Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself or you also may be tempted.” Gal. 6:1
We have an obligation to correct our brothers and sisters if they get caught up in error or just aren’t conforming to the Word of God. Being unconcerned and uncaring is not being loving. Loving yourself so much you don’t want to take a chance on conflict is not obeying the law of love. So we need to speak – but it must be in love – GENTLY!
Communication is so important in a loving relationship. It takes work. It is a choice. We need to control our flesh when we don’t want to communicate or we want to talk – but not communicate. When we raise our voice - we are not communicating. We are trying to force our will on someone. We are trying to bully someone into our way of thinking. Tone and volume is a test. When it is raised – communication has ceased. You need to back off and get emotions in control – then go back when you can calmly and gently proceed. God communicates to us mostly in gentle quiet ways. We need to do the same.
Lastly, a loving relationship is consistent. The theological term would be faithfulness. The Word of God says we can’t please God without faith. And He is our example of faithfulness.
“Who is like you, LORD God Almighty? You, LORD, are mighty, and your faithfulness surrounds you.” Psalm 89:8
Be glad, people of Zion, rejoice in the LORD your God, for he has given you the autumn rains because he is faithful. He sends you abundant showers, both autumn and spring rains, as before.” Joel 2:23
“God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.” 1 Corinthians 1:9
God is faithful. He is our example. And He asks us to be faithful, too. In fact, a loving relationship is not possible no matter how badly one party wants it, if one is unfaithful. Do you remember all those words of commitment the Lord spoke to His people? “I will never leave you or forsake you” etc? Well the relationship fell apart, didn’t it? It wasn’t because of God. He never left. But his people did. And the loving relationship fell apart. A relationship takes two faithful people. God wants us faithful in our marriages. He wants us committed to them. He wants us faithful and committed to our church. He wants us faithful to individuals in the church family.
What does it mean to be faithful? With God and with our mates it means no one else before them. In church it means being faithful in attendance with our time, talents and tithe. A loving church relationship means commitment and consistency. It means you are faithful. You can be depended on. Do you have that kind of relationship?
The thing that makes us different from the world is our love relationships. And love relationships means commitment, communication, and consistency. May we be that kind of people.
“They will know we are Christians by our love”
