Building a relationship
1 John 4:7-16
Introduction-
I am excited this morning to begin a new series entitled “Nuts and Bolts of life.” We will not race through this series because I think that a lot of times we take some things for granted only to find out that we don’t know as much as we think we do.
What I hope to show you from God’s Word is some basics (Nuts and Bolts) of how to live according to God’s Word and the benefits that gives us.
I said last week that I was starting this series because the giants were winning in most people’s lives instead of believers defeating the giants.
The giants are winning! Instead of using God’s word as an instruction manual, the devil uses life’s challenges to beat us up.
Today we will be looking at building relationships- image of bridege
Don’t tune me out because you think that you are a relationship expert. This society we live in has no idea about relationships. Love of God, or with others. Most people either seclude themselves and have no relationships that are worth anything because of being hurt in their past or they go full throttle from the start to realize quickly that it is not as good as they thought it was.
1 John 4:7-16- image of text
I want you to see the importance here-
From God’s Word- our instruction manual – image of instructional manual
He says that we are to love each other
He says that love comes from God
The only way that we will understand and experience God’s love is through Him.
God showed His love to us by sending His Son Jesus Christ for the sacrifice of our sins
He says that once we understand His love and acknowledge Him for starting a relationship, keeping the relationship, and expecting us to maintain that relationship
That is how we will maintain and love each other properly!
you can understand the problem that comes from those that don’t have a relationship with God.
Since our love has its source in God’s love, His love reaches full expression when we loved others.
Genuine love comes from God, and must be first directed toward God and then to others.
Image- (Vertical to God and Horizontal to man and each other.)
When we are not in a right relationship with God, it will affect how we love and maintain relationships with each other.
John 13:34- “love one another as I have loved you.”
Matthew 22:37- “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment, and the second is like it, love your neighbor as yourself.”
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Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind.
Love your neighbor as yourself.
True test of our relationship with Christ is how we relate to others.
If Jesus is first in your life, it will relate to how we treat others.
People today just want acquaintances , not relationships because they don’t want to commit. We see it at every level.
Most people today want Jesus as an acquaintance, rather than nurture an active, growing relationship with Him because they do not want to commit to that relationship.
Genie in a bottle- Call Him when you need Him. Image of genie
That spills out into every day relations!
Each and every day of our lives, we have relationship with others that have been formed through the years. Some are positive in nature, others are acquaintances, and some are quite frankly horrible relationships that have been destroyed by either our words and actions or the other persons words and actions.
What is true love and how do I know when I have found it?
What is a healthy relationship and how do I know if I should go to the next level?
These are questions we are asking ourselves!
God’s Word 1 Cor. 13:4-8
“Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boost, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails.”
This describes the characteristics of love.
This describes Christ love for us, and they can be found in right relationships also.
The problem with trying to find love in dating and building relationships with others is we don’t look for these qualities.
We look for appearance
We look for popularity
We look for wealth
These qualities are not what God used to look for us and we should not either.
So let me says this- if your relationship is not right with the Lord, that is priority one!
Image- with text
Love the Lord God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind, and all these things shall be added unto you.
Let Christ model of love be reflected back to Him and extended out to those we come in contact with.
I think there are 4 levels of relationships we will look at today.
The only relationship that I think should go from 0-60 and full throttle immediately is our relationship with Jesus Christ.
That relationship must be nurtured, but the commitment from the start should be one that is determined to draw close to God, and allow God to draw close to you.
For each of us here are the levels- image and points
Casual
Active
Friends
Close friends
Next week, we will look at intimate relationships of marriage.
Casual-
Are people you work with
Butcher, waitresses at a restaurant, newspaper boy, mailman.
People in your life, but at a distant
You would not share personal thing with them.
Active-
People in your life that you do things with (golf, bowl,) maybe go for dinner once in a while
People you see here on a Sunday morning but do not do anything else with all week.
This is not a trusting relationship, it is based upon a shared activity.
Friend-
This person the barriers begins to come down.
You do personal things with.
These are people that you pick up the phone if you have not talked or seen them in a while.
There is minor commitment there .
These are people that you chose to reach out to
You have taken a risk and opened up to them and they have responded back to you.
“The best way to have a friend is to be a friend.”
Close friend
You have reached out, they have responded back.
You know them they know you.
You know some faults of each other and you still choose to be around each other.
They say a friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else.
The person makes you laugh until you cannot stop.
Convinces you that there really is an unlocked door waiting for you to open.
Gets you through the hard times, sad times, confusing times.
You feel happy and complete because your forever friend will always be there .
Hang in there a minute!
let me tie this together for us this morning. Let see what God says because I believe He wants to bring some healing in some of you who are hurting.
Factors on how friendships are built
Friendships are based on mutual respect, trust, love, and common interest.
Friendship s take time and effort to deepen and cultivate.
Healthy and mature friendships have passed the test of time and are not instantaneous, infatuations are!
This is how we move up from stranger to close friends- some never make it past acquaintances because there is no common interest, no trust built, and no respect.
Jumping over levels to fast cause painful results
Healthy relationships are built on commitment and mutual respect, and have stood the test of time and opportunity of advancement.
Closing
People struggle with their relations with others because they struggle with their relationship with God.
People cannot forgive others, because they either feel God has not forgiven them or they are running away from God because they know what they are doing is not right.
People do not know how to commit to others because they are not willing to commit to God. They feel casual and uncommitted is acceptable
You cannot have a casual relationship with God and expect to move that relationship into a trusting and respectful one. Casual is not acceptable to God.
A relationship with no communication does not work, and calling on God only in a crisis is a direct result of our mentality of keeping God at a distant until needed.
I think that every time I preach that I should be asking you to commit to something!
God always calls each of us to a greater and deeper commitment of our lives to Him.
How is your relationship with the Lord? If you are struggling there, other relationships will suffer.
Are you moving into relationships too fast? Time, trust, respect make up friendship, you cannot move there fast.
Casual friends in deep relationships is a disaster waiting to happen. (you know what I mean)
For some of you this morning, healing will come when you realize that God has to be first, He will not accept any other.
For others, today you may need to open up your heart and let someone in, but it has to be done God’s way and in God’s timing.
Amen- Praye
