Forgiveness, Celebration, and Embrace
Father’s Day June 17, 2012
Intro:
I find father’s day quite a difficult day to preach. There are lots of reasons – first is the great diversity in our various experience of father. Some here today had wonderful, affectionate, Godly fathers and so today is a day of warmth and celebration and thankfulness, while others had absent, distant, incompetent, or even harmful fathers and so today is a day of sadness and loss. Second, some of us celebrate the way that our husbands are good to our children, while for others that is also a source of pain. Third, some of us, myself included, are fathers and desire desperately to be the wonderful, affectionate, Godly fathers that we know our children need, yet it is hard to be that in a culture that pushes us in other directions, offers virtually no good examples or role-models, and that traps us with so many other expectations that form our identities.
So it is hard, yet it is vitally important: not the holiday – that is largely a marketing tool for makers of tacky ties. But rather, the entire idea of father is vitally important. Especially if we are to really, deeply know the God who calls us to Himself as children and who describes Himself as our Father.
And so, this morning, I want to spend some time on this difficult, emotional idea. My goal is that some of us would be deeply thankful and praise God for our good experiences; others would experience some healing and restoration; and that still others of us would have some guidance and encouragement in what it means for us to be fathers to our children.
Galatians 4:4-7 (NLT):
This morning’s Scripture is Gal. 4:4-7. 4 But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law. 5 God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children. 6 And because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, Abba, Father. 7 Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child. And since you are his child, God has made you his heir.
Starting with Sin:
I don’t want to be a heavy, but I feel the need to start with sin. Sin has wrecked all sorts of stuff. Tainted life itself with all kinds of poison. Twisted incredible gifts of God into some painful things. Fatherhood is one of those things that has been deeply affected by sin. We all know that; we’ve all experienced that either personally or in others we care about. But now here is the truth: Jesus has broken the power of sin. Jesus came to restore relationship, chief among those relationships being the one between us and God as our Father. Jesus came to heal that, to make it good and pure and safe and wonderful again. Jesus came to heal whatever pain we may have experienced, set us free through the power of forgiveness, and clear the way so that we could have a whole, healthy, positive experience of God as our Father. So while we start with the reality that sin has made a mess of life, Jesus comes and heals, redeems, restores, reconciles us back to life and wholeness. Jesus even rescues the whole concept of fatherhood.
This is the meaning of Gal 4:4-5. It is about Jesus coming, at just the right time, to buy freedom. To set us free. To see us really, truly, free. From all our slavery to sin. God sent Jesus, Jesus defeats sin that sets us free from slavery, and clears the way for adoption.
We must act, though, in order to experience this reconciliation, and the actions are twofold: forgiveness and acceptance.
Let’s start with forgiveness. If we don’t forgive, we keep ourselves locked in a cage of pain. Sometimes we think forgiveness means letting the offender off the hook, letting them go scott free, taking away a punishment that is rightly deserved, and so something in us (namely, the God-given hunger for justice) resists that kind of forgiveness. It’s because we have our definition wrong. Forgiveness is not letting the offender off the hook. It is not sweeping hurt under the carpet. It is not pretending everything is good now. No! Instead, forgiveness is this: facing the wrong, feeling the hurt, knowing that justice demands that the one who caused the hurt experience the same hurt themselves as punishment, and then making the critical choice: to let retribution go. To choose to give up the right to hurt back. And here is the most glorious thing: forgiveness sets us free, far more than it sets the one who hurt us free.
Linked very closely with the action of forgiveness is the action of acceptance. See, just as choosing not to forgive keeps us locked in a cage of pain, so also choosing to not accept the reality of our experience keeps us locked in a cage of longing for the impossible. Holding on to a wish that things had been different or continuing to hold on to the it’s not fair emotion is not healthy or helpful. The answer is acceptance. Yes, we wish things had been different. Yes, it is not fair. Yes, others had it better. But, and I don’t mean to be harsh, those thoughts are irrelevant. And not helpful. Life has been what it has been. The past is the past, and nothing can change or undo the past. But today – now that is a different story! Healing and freedom come with acceptance. I never had a father, I grew up in a single parent family with only my mom and my brother. And I have accepted that – it is a fact – it continues to impact me and has shaped who I am – and I accept that also.
And that acceptance sets me free from the cages. I’m not stuck in pain, and I’m not stuck longing or wishing that things had been different. They weren’t; this is who I am and guess what? (and here is some good news!) It is ok. In fact, it is pretty good even!
So now I’m going to pause. It would be kind of dumb of me to talk about forgiveness and acceptance and then not create space for response, space for God to do the work that only His Spirit can do, of leading us to forgiveness, helping us with acceptance, and then filling us with freedom.
So I want to guide us in prayer. If there are painful emotions associated with your experience of father, join in whole-heartedly. And if not, then would you please pray for those of us who do? Would you intercede for us, would you stand mightily beside us in prayer, would you pray that this morning, right now, the Holy Spirit would move in power and lead us to forgiveness and acceptance and freedom? Let us pray.
Almighty God, would you first reveal to us, by the power of Your Spirit, any places of pain that remain, any places where we have not yet forgiven and accepted. (space and time)
Next, Holy Spirit, would You help us to feel the very real pain, to see how it has crippled us, and to know that justice demands punishment. (space and time)
Now, Holy Spirit, would You give us power to forgive and to accept. To release. To exhale. To drop the fist that justice calls us to use to inflict pain. And to let go. (space and time)
Finally, Holy Spirit would you flood us with freedom and joy. (space and time).
The road to freedom and health lies through forgiveness and acceptance. I pray that you may have experienced that this morning. If it goes deeper, then I urge and encourage you to create space to continue to explore the power of forgiveness and acceptance – with a professional Christian counselor if you need structure and guidance. Just don’t waste more life stuck in any of those cages – God has too much more great stuff in store!
On to Guidance:
From forgiveness and acceptance, let us next move to guidance. How are those of us who are fathers supposed to live and act and relate to our kids? And how are the rest of us to support and encourage and strengthen the fathers we know and need?
Here I find a nugget of gold in the last verse of today’s Scripture: Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child. And since you are his child, God has made you his heir.
Here is the nugget of guidance: live like an heir of the King of the Universe. Men, you and I, especially as fathers, are not the weak, helpless, bumbling fools depicted in TV and movies. We are not Homer Simpsons, we are not marginalized individuals whose job is solely to care for our loved ones financially, and we are not expendable.
Here is some sobering, yet empowering, news: we shape our kid’s eternity by our character. That is scary, on one hand. It is a lot of responsibility! Yet, on the other, it is empowering. We make a difference. We matter. Even if our kids are old and have families of their own, they still look at us as their father, and their relationship with the God of the Universe is shaped by our character. What an incredible privilege. And what an awesome responsibility.
The only way we can do such a thing is by living as Gal 4:7 instructs: as an heir of the God of the Universe. Have you ever actually grasped what that means (for all of us, not just those of us who are fathers)? The Lord Almighty, the Creator, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, the King of Kings, says we are His children, and thus His heirs. So let us live like it! As if we are princes – with power and ability to bring change and to impact the lives of others. Princes with the ability to determine what is good and right and then empowered to live that justice. Princes with the charge and the emotional and spiritual resources to be that which our children need us to be above anything else: men of God.
Time for an honest, difficult question: if a perfect stranger, in complete anonymity and 100% confidentiality, asked your children if their father was a man of God, what would they answer? Does your character as a man and as a father reflect the character of the God we follow? And do they know you well enough to see that?
If you hesitate, then I call you to repent. Nothing is more important than that we men and fathers are men of God – children and heirs of God – and that we live authentically with that restored and active and demonstrated relationship with God as the very core of our identity: God’s adopted children. I call us to stop fooling around with petty sin. To give up all the stupid things we waste time on, because we feel not needed or insecure about how to parent or we feel rejected and judged by our spouses or we feel pushed away by our children. In the big picture, what will really matter to us is not the size of a bank account or the next promotion or the faint fleeting praise of some manager. What will really matter to us is to have our family look us in the eye and recognize us as men of God.
Now, if you are not a father can I ask you to do two things for those of us who are? Most of all, would you pray for us. This is what matters most, this is where the healing and power come from, and this is where God can shape you as well as you pray for us. Above anything else, pray for us.
Second, would you believe in us. We don’t need you to tell us all these things I’ve just talked about. We don’t need to be reminded or nagged to be more spiritual. We already live in a world that tells us that fathers are bumbling idiots, and most of us care enough that we see our mistakes and shortfalls clearly already. And we probably have some good ideas about what we need to do to make those changes, so we don’t really need you to tell us those things either. We need you to believe in us. To support us. To find every and any little good thing and celebrate it and praise it and encourage it. By and large, the negative messages deflate us and demotivate us and sink us deeper into the place of feeling helplessness where we retreat and give up. But the positive messages, that you believe in us, that we are doing some things right, those are powerful motivators.
So pray for us, and believe in us.
Celebration:
The final word for today is one of celebration. This I find in verse 6: And because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, Abba, Father.
Those of us who had good Godly fathers can identify warmly with this verse. You had a daddy. This association is positive and inviting for you, and brings you close to God. And so we should celebrate that, thank God for such a wonderful gift, and if this man is still living then you should let him know how deeply appreciative you are. This is truly great cause to celebrate.
And now here is the most glorious part of this whole passage, and this whole morning: we all get to celebrate, because according to the passage we all have the same heavenly Father. Let’s set aside, for the moment, our earthly father and turn our thoughts and attention and cause for celebration towards our heavenly Father. The even better part, according to the passage, is that we do not do this celebration on our own, but rather in response to the gift of God – namely the Holy Spirit in our hearts – which prompts us to call out.
So all we need to do is open our hearts, invite the Spirit, and then respond together (our spirit and The Spirit). And our response is one of joy. One of warmth. One of feeling welcome, acceptance, cleansing, belonging, purpose, significance, safety, and of experiencing a pair of mighty strong arms wrapping themselves around us, hugging us close, delight in God’s eyes, as He says, welcome, my child, my beloved, adopted child, my heir.
Now the celebration begins, with God the Father at the center. The center of the feast. The center of our attention. The center of the music and dancing and laughter. God our Father invites us into the warmth of His home, our home, into the feast and the party, and says come, be healed, be forgiven, be set free from the cages, be set free from the slavery, bask in My love.
Conclusion:
4 But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law. 5 God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children. 6 And because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, Abba, Father. 7 Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child. And since you are his child, God has made you his heir. Let’s live like it.
