Title: Being Gracious People
Text: Colossians 3:12-14 (3:1-15)
Thesis: The garments of your new nature in Christ are to be worn in your home, at church and in public… these garments are attitudes that translate into actions as you interact with others.
Series Title: Living with others at home and at church: How to walk hand in hand when you don’t see eye to eye.
Introduction
We have now transitioned from the old garments worn before we were in Christ. Those attitudes and actions of your old nature were likened to filthy rags that needed to be stripped off and burned. Anger, rage, malicious behavior, denigrating and vulgar speaking are to be removed and discarded… not laundered and put back in the closet. Therein is part of the problem with Christians… we become followers of Christ and receive a new nature but we keep some of the old stuff around just in case we wish to go rogue and relapse into our former and un-Christ-like ways.
Our text begins by giving us three good reasons for putting on the garments or characteristics that are to be exemplified in our new life in Christ: “Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves…”
God wants us to live into this new life in Christ because:
1. God chose us!
2. God set us apart or consecrated us making us holy!
3. God loves us!
And now that you and I are aware of those things we are encouraged to live into who we now are… God wants us to live into this new life. So now, having stripped off and discarded those old garments we are ready to get dressed in our new wardrobe… the wardrobe God picked out for us.
And here is what God’s Word says about getting dressed in this new wardrobe. Understanding that attitudes lead to actions he begins with a series of attitudes and outlooks that will influence and guide our behavior.
I. Attitudes of Gracious People
Clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Colossians 3:12
The metaphor in our text is that of “getting dressed.” Depending on the translation words are used like “put on” or “Clothe yourselves” or as Eugene Peterson puts it in The Message, “dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you.”
It seems there is an outfit for every sport. Footballers wear helmets, pads and the team jersey. Biker riders were helmets and those silly pants that make the look like they have a loaded diaper. Baseball players were their gloves, baseball caps and team uniforms. Grooms and groomsmen wear tuxes. Men and women in the military wear the uniforms of their respective branches of the service. Christians put on the garments that reflect who they are as Children of God.
Before we actually unpack what each of these attitudes looks like it is pertinent to note at the onset that every single attitude translates into a way we will relate to others. These are garments are designed for wearing in public. These attitudes set the tone for how we will live and work together in our homes and in our church.
The first item of clothing we are to put on is:
A. Tenderhearted mercy (Compassionate) A good antonym for tenderhearted mercy or compassionate would be cold-hearted.
This was of particular importance in the Colossian culture where animals, aged people, disabled people, simple minded people and even to a certain extent women and children were not treated humanely. It was a culture in which anyone or thing considered imperfect was, if not mistreated and abused, literally discarded.
To be tenderhearted and merciful… to be compassionate was to be tender toward the suffering and the miserable. Tenderhearted mercy or compassion does not look with indifference upon the less fortunate, the disadvantaged, the marginalized and destitute.
As a caregiver I can assure you that there is a danger of becoming calloused and insensitive to suffering. In some ways caregivers steel themselves against feeling too deeply because there is so very much suffering and sadness in the world.
Dr. Mary Poplin told of an experience she had during an extended visit with Mother Teresa’s Missionaries of Charity in Calcutta. There was a five-month old infant who was deformed, constantly sick, and often miserable. The babies had all been fed and were falling asleep in their bassinettes, and as she was getting ready to leave she glanced at the infants on her way out the door and noticed undigested formula was dripping out of this child’s bassinette. He had lost his entire 8 ounce bottle of formula. She looked around the room for a nurse aid, someone, anyone… but there was no one who was not already busy with other children.
So Dr. Poplin, with no little struggle, decided to stay and clean up the mess. She put on her apron again, lifted the baby out of his bassinette and held him on her shoulder as she gathered the dirty sheets and wiped up the mess. And as she worked she heard a muffled sound, tears where pouring from his eyes and the only sound he could make was a convulsive sob. Dr. Poplin’s heart broke as she realized the little guy had much greater needs that to simply be cleaned up… she repented of her insensitivity, bathed his little misshapen body, dressed him, held him close, rocking him and speaking lovingly to him as he fell asleep.
It may be something of an awkward illustration but the fact remains we cannot say we are Lake Wobegan perfect where all of our children are above average, the woman are all good looking and all the men are handsome. Not everyone is adorable. Not everyone is fun to hang with. Not everyone is fit… much less healthy. We’re just people and as such require compassion from time to time.
Perhaps as we live together in our homes and at church we would do well to ask God to give us hearts that are tender and compassionate… hearts that not only see the room full of babies but pause to lovingly care for the sickly, sobbing, misshapen one among us.
B. Kindness is one of the Fruit of the Spirit found in Galatians 56:22. It is another compound word that means good but more than that in that it is a goodness that is kind.
There are many people who might perceive of themselves as “good” people but they are not necessarily “good and kind” people. A person can be a righteous person but if that person looks down on or fails to see the other person as they are that person is self-righteous good but is not good in a kind way. Over the years I would guess that the most unkind things said to me have been uttered from the lips of good people.
Police officers are held to a higher level of conduct and rightfully so… and whenever an officer is accused of excessive use of force or whatever they come under the scrutiny of the public. The stories we hear are usually less than complimentary. In my reading this week I came across a news story from the Indianapolis Star titled: “Small gesture on busy street alters view of police.”
While walking back to his office after lunch a man noticed two burly Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department officers. Between them, sprawled on the hood of one of the patrol cars, his arms at his sides, was a shabbily dressed man in his late 50s. He was weak and shivering and it appeared that all his worldly possessions were in a pile on the sidewalk.
The older officer was stooped over in front of the man as his partner looked on. It appeared the officer was patting the man down but then he saw that the officer was tying the man’s boot laces. Because the homeless man was in such bad shape that he could not lace his own boots. As the officer lifted one dirty boot and then the other, resting the man’s foot on his own pant leg tying his laces, the younger officer spoke gently with the man trying to determine what kind of help the man needed.
The officers were good but more than good… they were kind. From a disposition of kindliness they acted in kindness toward the man.
C. Humility is a challenging word to understand as Christianity introduced a new way of being humble. Humility was typically reserved for referencing servility and groveling. It was not a good thing to be a door mat people walked on or a person who lived and worked in servile roles or a person who was a groveler. The humble in society were treated contemptuously. But in Christ we see humility in a new and positive way.
Certainly one aspect of humility is to have an honest perception of yourself and to not think too highly of yourself.
On one occasion someone asked Winston Churchill, “Doesn’t it thrill you to know that every time you make a speech the hall is packed to overflowing? “ It is quite flattering,” replied Sir Winston. “But whenever I feel that way, I always remember that if instead of making a political speech I was being hanged, the crowd would be twice as big.” (Norman McGowan, My Hears with Winston Churchill, Souvenir Press, London)
When Christians are asked to put on humility it means we understand three things:
1. God is the Creator
2. Man is the created and in the presence of God, man must be humbled.
3. People in the presence of other people then see other people as Children of God and among the Children of God there is no place for arrogance or superiority complexes or looking down the nose at others.
Alex Haley, the author of Roots has a picture in his office showing a turtle sitting atop a fence post. It is an unusual picture and always captures the interest of those who visit his office. When asked about the picture Haley explains, “The picture is there to remind me of a lesson I learned a long time ago. If you see a turtle on top of a fence post, you know he had some help getting there. So whenever I get to feeling, ‘Wow! Haven’t I come a long way and accomplished a lot,’ I look at that picture and remember how I got here.’“
Being humble is about understanding that we all Children of God and none of us is better than any other.
D. Gentleness, also a Fruit of the Spirit, is often translated meekness.
Humorist J. Upton Dickson wrote a book called “Cower Power” for a group he had founded and named “DORMATS,” i.e., “Dependent Organization of Really Meek and Timid Souls.”
Their motto was, “The meek shall inherit the earth – if that’s okay with everybody.”
Actually he was pointing to a very common misconception and understanding of what it really means to be a gentle person. Gentleness or meekness is really a very powerful way of being. It is steel-like strength under control. It may be thought of as self-restraint or a refusal to react with the force of power.
At the community meeting regarding the rezoning of our property so Hope House can purchase the land and develop their campus in the future, we were treated to a perfect example of gentleness or meekness or self-restraint.
On several occasions there were moments of incivility when Lisa could have reacted to some of the comments that were directed at her but she simply laid down the microphone and left it there on the table until the speakers had said their piece. And then she would pick up the mike and say, “that’s a good question,” or “thank you for your comments” and then respond quietly and civilly.
She did not raise her voice. She did not correct the errors and accusations. She did not respond in kind. She was gentle and even tempered.
But neither was she dissuaded from her sense of call and her vision for what God has in mind of Hope House. I am anxious to see if indeed the meek do inherit the earth.
Gentleness evidenced by civility goes a long way in our homes and in the life and ministry of our church in helping us walk hand in hand when we do not see eye to eye.
E. Patience is another of the Fruit of the Spirit. The person who wears patience and behaves with patience never loses patience with another. This kind of patience is longsuffering in the face of insult and injury. The fact that some people seem un-teachable or foolish never drives the Christian to cynicism and despair. The patient person never mistreats or insults or is driven to demean another person.
According to a traditional Hebrew story, Abraham was sitting outside his tent one evening when he saw an old man, weary from age and his journey, coming toward him. Abraham, in keeping with Mid Eastern culture rushed out to meet the old man and invited him into his tent where he washed his feet and gave him food and drink.
The old man immediately began eating without saying any prayer or blessing. So Abraham asked him, “Don’t you worship God?” The old man replied, “I worship fire only and reverence no other god.”
At that Abraham became incensed, grabbed the old man by the shoulders and threw him out of his tent into the cold night air.
When the old man had gone, God called to Abraham and asked, “Where is the old man?” And Abraham replied, “I forced him out because he did not worship you.”
God answered, “I have put up with him these eighty years although he dishonors me. Could you not endure him one night?”
Some people seem to be insufferable but if God can be patient with them… can we not be patient one night?
Our attitudes do indeed become actions. When we have compassion in our hearts we will act with compassion. When we have kindness in our hearts we will act kindly toward others. When we have gentleness in our hearts we will act with gentleness. When we have humility in our hearts we will walk humbly with our God and others. When we have patience in our hearts we will act with patience toward others.
But out text does specifically speak to two actions that are part of our God given wardrobe that are essential to walking hand in hand when we do not see eye to eye.
II. Actions of Gracious People
Make allowances for each other’s faults, and forgive everyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Colossians 3:13
A. Make allowances for (be Forbearing or Bear with) is very challenging but essential behavior for the Christian. To be a forbearing or long-suffering or understanding person is to understand that having been forgiven by God we must be equally understanding of the humanness of others.
B. Forgive. To forgive is to give up resentment or to grant relief from payment. It means to freely pardon and no longer hold an offence against another.
Last week I told a story about Clara Barton who was asked, “Why would you invite that woman to your party? Don’t you remember what that woman did to you?” And Clara replied, “No, I distinctly remember forgetting that.”
When God forgives, no matter how much you have fouled up the past, we receive the forgiveness that is ours. In Christ God really forgives us… our sins are removed, blotted out, forgiven and forgotten, trampled underfoot and deep sixed in the ocean, cancelled and nailed to the cross. And when we forgive, we do the same.
In his book Lee: The Last Years, Charles Bracelen Flood reports that after the Civil War, Robert E. Lee visited a Kentucky lady who took him to the remains of what was once a beautiful old tree in front of her house. She went on about the broken limbs and scarred trunk and the destruction brought to the old tree by the Union artillery fire. She looked to General Lee for a bitter word condemning the north for destroying her tree. Then after a brief silence, Lee said to the woman, “Cut it down, my dear Madam, and forget it.”
When we bring forbearance and forgiveness into our relationships we can walk hand in hand when we do not see eye to eye.
Conclusion
I know very little about fashion other than what I think looks good and what doesn’t. The “Fashion Police” do seem to know a lot about what goes together and what does not so when they single out a celebrity on the Red Carpet they will talk about her hair, her gown, her shoes, her make-up and her accessories and whatever else they deem important. Something as little as a shade of lipstick that matches the color of a handbag may be the thing that ties the whole outfit together.
In our text today, it is love that ties our God-given wardrobe together.
“And above all, clothe yourself with love, which binds us together in perfect harmony.” Colossians 3:14
In every loving earthly relationship the love is bi-lateral or reciprocal… it goes both ways. But the kind of love God wants us to clothe ourselves in is a special God-like love. The Greek word for God-like love is “agape.” Agape love is a one-way-love. It is a unilateral love. It is a love that loves even when it doesn’t get loved back.
It’s the love spoken of in Romans 5:8 which reminds us that “God demonstrated his love for us by sending Christ to die for us even while we were still sinners.”
Some commentators think that love is what makes all the compassion, kindness, gentleness, humility, forbearance and forgiveness possible… love is what binds them together in a package, so to speak, so all of these Christ-like attitudes and actions emanate out of a heart of love. And they have a point:
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices when the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
So it sounds like what we’ve been talking about is all wrapped up in one word… love. But it is a love that not only binds these attitudes and actions together, it is a love that binds people together in loving relationships.
Writer and NPR commentator Heather King, a recovering alcoholic who has come to faith in Christ, reflected on her initial experience with the church: My first impulse was to think, My God, I don't want to get sober (or in the case of the church, worship) with THESE nutcases! (or boring people, or people with different politics, taste in music, food, books, or whatever). Nothing shatters our egos like worshipping with people we did not hand-pick …. The humiliation of discovering that we are thrown in with extremely unpromising people!—people who are broken, misguided, wishy-washy, out for themselves. People who are… us.
But we don't come to church to be with people who are like us in the way we want them to be. We come because we have staked our souls on the fact that Christ is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and the church is the best place, the only place, to be while we all struggle to figure out what that means. We come because we'd be hard pressed to say which is the bigger of the two scandals of God: that he loves us—or that he loves everyone else. (PreachingToday.com, Adapted from Heather King, "The Better Church," Shirt of Flame blog, 10-23-11)
When God says we are bound together in love it means we are chained together or tied together or linked together or glued together by the love of God. As different as we are, we are bound together with the love of God and it is the love of God in us and through us that ultimately makes it possible for us to walk hand in hand when we do not see eye to eye.
