EXTREME HOME MAKEOVER: FATHERS EDITION
Scott Bayles, pastor
Blooming Grove Christian Church: 6/17/2012
For the past six weeks now, we’ve been talking about giving our homes an extreme makeover according God’s blueprints for life, marriage and family.
About a decade ago, home makeover mania started sweeping the nation. Since then, dozens of these TV shows have cropped up with teams of experts that come in and remodel or redecorate rooms or whole houses. There is Extreme Makeover Home Edition, Trading Spaces, Clean House, Curb Appeal, Design on a Dime, Divine Design, and many more. And that last one is what we’re looking for—a Divine design.
Can you imagine going on one of these shows and discovering that the so-called experts didn’t have a design or blueprint to work from? They were just going to wing it and see what happened? You might think twice about letting them inside your house! Yet, so many singles and married couples try to build their homes—their lives, marriages and families—without ever consulting the Master Architect’s divine design. Two people just hammering away under the same roof, trying to build their home based on two different sets of incomplete and imperfects plans—it’s often a mess!
Let’s look once more at our anchor verse for this series. The Bible says, “Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted” (Psalm 127:1 NLT). When you leave God out of the building process, in other words, you are bound to fail. And if there is one area of life that I don’t want to fail in, it’s at home—with my family.
I’m glad that this series is ending on Father’s Day because fathers are so important when it comes to family. For Father’s Day, Ashley gave each of the kids a “Pop Quiz about our Pop.” She interviewed each of them and wrote down their answers for me. Let me share some of their answers.
• How old is dad? 7 (Abby) 11 (Sarai)
• How much does your dad weight? 75lbs (Yeshua), 100lbs (Sarai)
• How tall is Dad? 11’5” (Sarai), 10’2” (Yeshua)
• My Dad is great at… running in circles (Abby)
• Dad likes to cook… donuts (Abby)
• His favorite thing to eat is… cheeseburgers and Oreos (Sarai)
• My dad’s favorite things to do are… teach about God and spend time with his family (Yeshua).
When my kids tell me that my favorite things to do are teach about God and spend time with my family, I know I’m doing something right! Being a father is easily the greatest joy of my life.
I heard one this week about three boys in the schoolyard bragging about who had the better father. The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, and people give him $100.”
The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, and they give him $1000.”
The third boy says, “My Dad is ever better than that. He scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a sermon, and it takes 6 or 8 men just to collect all the money!”
Sadly, in our day, a lot of dads aren’t living up to their responsibilities. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, more than 25 million children do not live with their fathers and more than a third of these children will not see their fathers at all during the course of a year. Studies show that children who grow up without responsible fathers are significantly more likely to experience poverty, perform poorly in school, engage in criminal activity, and abuse drugs and alcohol. Roughly 70% of incarcerated males have had little or no interaction with their fathers.
That’s why dads are so important. It’s nearly impossible to build a stable home without a dad. God knew that when he drafted the design for the family. Dads are so important that God chose to reveal himself as our heavenly Father. And it’s God who teaches fathers how to be a good dad.
This morning, I just want to share with you three characteristics of a good dad that we learn from our Heavenly Father. First, a good dad adores his kids.
• ADORE YOUR KIDS
Anyone who’s ever been to church ought to know that God loves us. He adores us. If he had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If he had wallet, your photo would be in it. The Bible actually says, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1 NIV).
You are a child of God. Before you knew you needed adopting, God had already filed the papers and selected the wallpaper for your room. And as our Father, God lavishes his love on us.
What children need today is a dad who adores them and who lavishes that love on them in real, tangible ways! They need a dad who will…
• . . . play catch, enjoy tea parties or wrestle on the carpet with them.
• . . . laugh till their belly hurts and tears fall from their eyes while secretly creating memories that last a lifetime.
• . . . place an out-of-tune preschool concert or a ten-year-old’s baseball game on life’s agenda because of the infinite worth of those playing.
• . . . listen eye to eye and with both ears, even if it means getting on one knee.
• …put them on their shoulders in crowded mall or at a ball park in order to give them a better view.
• . . . love at all times, because love is a gift freely given and not a reward for service well done.
• . . . love the Lord with all their heart, soul, and mind and know that the rest is just details.
And eight-year-old was once asked the difference between love and true love. He said, “Love is when Daddy reads me a bedtime story. True love is when he doesn’t skip any of the pages.” Dads, adore your kids. Don’t skip any of the pages. Lavish your love on them the way God has lavished his love on you.
Furthermore, good dads admonish their kids.
• ADMONISH YOUR KIDS
A little boy was misbehaved badly. Not only had he misbehaved but he also been disrespectful to his mother, so his daddy turned him over his knee and spanked him. With tears in his eyes he ran to his mom, saying, “Mama, you should have married Jesus. Jesus LOVES the little children!” While it is very true that Jesus loves the little children, he also approves of loving discipline.
The Bible says, “My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights” (Proverbs 13:11-12 NLT).
How do you keep a 1-year-old from heading toward the DVD player? What should you do when your preschooler throws a fit? How can you get a teenager to respect your authority as a father? Whatever the age of your child, it’s important to be consistent when it comes to discipline. If dads don’t stick to the rules and consequences they set up, your kids aren’t likely to either. Children thrive the best in an atmosphere of genuine love, undergirded by consistent, compassionate discipline. Raising your kids with loving discipline will teach them to respect authority, respect other people, and most importantly to respect God.
But admonishing your kids isn’t just about time-outs and spankings; it’s also about taking advantage of teachable moments that happen every day.
Max Lucado once told about one such teachable moment. As he took communion one Sunday morning, Max heard a small boy behind him asking, “What’s that, Daddy?” The father explained the meaning of the bread. Then he prayed. The boy was quiet until the cup was passed, then he said again, “What’s that daddy?” His father again explained. Then he prayed.
When Max turned to give him a knowing smile, he realized the dad sitting behind him was David Robinson, NBA basketball player for the San Antonio Spurs. On his lap was his six-year-old son. Less that 24 hours earlier David had led the Spurs in scoring in a playoff game. In 24 hours he’d be doing the same in Phoenix. But sandwiched between nationally televised, high-stakes contests was David, the dad—explaining communion to David, the son.
Which do you suppose matters most? What will make the biggest difference? Watching his dad play basketball or hearing him whisper a prayer?
Dads, admonish your kids! Give them consistent loving discipline. Firmly but gently correct them when they need it. And make sure to teach them what matters most in life. Admonish your kids. Finally, good dads applaud their kids.
• APPLAUD YOUR KIDS
Dad, you need to be your kid’s number one fan! You need to encourage them, to praise them, and applaud them. How often do you as a dad just encourage your kids and tell them how awesome they are and that you’re proud of them? Because, they need to hear that. That’s what God does for us.
The Bible says, “May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father encourage you and strengthen you in every good thing you do and say. God loved us, and through his grace he gave us a good hope and encouragement that continues forever” (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 NIV).
As dads, we need to give that same encouragement, strength, and hope to our kids. The Bible warns dads, saying, “Fathers, do not nag your children. If you are too hard to please, they may want to stop trying” (Colossians 3:21 NCV). God knew when he designed the family that kids would crave their father’s approval.
As a young pastor, Jerry Steen worked at a rock quarry in Celina, Ohio. Each night when he came home, his boys would look at him and say, “Boy, dad, you sure are dusty!”
He’d smile at them and say, “Yes, I sure am dusty.”
Then one Saturday morning, Jerry went outside to wash the car and saw his oldest son, four years old at that time, picking up some small stones in the drive and rubbing them onto his pants. Jerry asked, “What are you doing?”
His son said, “I want to be dusty like you dad.”
Dads, if a son would look up to his father for being dusty, he’ll look up to you for anything. Your kids love you and want to be just like you. Don’t be too hard to please. Applaud your kids. Make sure they know you’re proud of them.
Conclusion:
I know that there are many more characteristics of a good dad that we could list this morning, but here are three that are vitally important for dads in need of an extreme home makeover: (1) Adore your kids—lavish your love and affection on them. (2) Admonish your kids—correct them, discipline them and teach them. (3) Applaud your kids—pat them on the back and let them know you’re proud of them.
Let me add just one final thought to all this too. Dads, if you don’t take your role as the spiritual leader of your family seriously—then don’t count on your kids having a meaningful relationship with God.
Statistics tell us that in families where mom is a regular church-goer but dad isn’t, only 37% of the kids will attend church even sporadically when they grow up. On the other hand, in households where dad attends church regularly, regardless of whether or not mom does, 78% of the kids will still attend church when they grow up.
As Austin L Sorensen once said, “A Child is not likely to find a father in God unless he finds something of God in his father.” Please take that to heart and remember our anchor verse: “Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted” (Psalm 127:1 NLT).
When God is building your home, you can bet it’ll be amazing!
Invitation:
As our worship team comes up to lead us in praise, if your family is in need of an extreme home makeover and you’re ready to start building your home according to God’s blueprints—why don’t you come talk to me about it. As a church, we can pray for your family together and we can help you figure out the next steps…
