What Makes a Good Father
Proverbs 17:6
When asked what is a good father? One replier said, “A good father is one who provides and is always there when the child needs him.” 1 Timothy 5:8 tells us “… if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an infidel.” We live in a day in which many men have abandoned their responsibility of providing for their wives and children. But being a good father is more than just bringing home a paycheck and meeting the physical needs of your children. It’s not enough to just be a good father according to the world’s standards; fathers need to be the spiritual leaders in their homes.
I. A good father is an example of what means to be a man of faith.
A. Psalm 22:4-5 “Our fathers trusted in You; they trusted, and You delivered them. They cried to you, and were delivered; they trusted in You, and were not ashamed.”
B. From one generation to another, we pass on the faith, we are to point to Jesus Christ.
C. 1 Corinthians 16:13 “Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong.”
D. We need men who have both a knowledge of God’s Word and the conviction to follow that Word: Men of faith who aren’t afraid to live their faith before the world and in their homes consistently 24/7.
E. 1 Kings 22:42-43 “Jehoshaphat was thirty and five years old when he began to reign; and he reigned twenty and five years in Jerusalem. And his mother's name was Azubah the daughter of Shilhi. And he walked in all the ways of Asa his father; he turned not aside from it, doing that which was right in the eyes of the LORD:
F. Ken Hemphill tells the story of what took place at his church when he was pastor of FBC of Norfolk. He was out on the sidewalk welcoming people as they got out of their cars. About 3rd in line was a father & his teenage son. The father had a golf shirt on, and he evidently was dropping his son off at church while he went to play golf. The pastor could hear the teenage boy complaining and asking why he had to go to church. He replied, “When I was growing up my daddy took me to church every Sunday, and you are going to church as well.” Then the boy replied, “Well, it doesn’t look like it did you any good for you, did it?” - copied
G. Research has established that parents can have a significant impact on the religious beliefs and practices of their children. In one recent study it was found that fathers who frequently attend church (over three times per month), discuss religion at home, and are committed to their religion have sons who follow the same pattern concerning religious values and behavior. Interestingly, fathers who did not do these three things had an inconsistent pattern of influence over their son’s religious responses. - Dr. Michael Green, Kindred Spirit, Autumn, 1989
II. A good father exhibits purity and holiness
A. 1 Timothy 2:8 “I desire therefore that the men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting.”
B. God wants us to be pure in everything we think, say, see and do. God is looking for a few good men who aren't afraid to strive to live holy lives.
C. Malachi 4:5-6 “5Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD: and he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.”
D. Someone has said:
1. When the Father is right the Children will be right
2. When the children are right the home will be right
3. When the home is right the nation will be right.
E. Proverbs 20:7 “The just man walks in his integrity: his children are blessed after him”
F. The greatest need in the world is for holy men who will not be bought or sold, who recognize sin for what it is and refuse to be entangled by its tentacles: men who will stand for the right when others do not.
III. A good father establishes boundaries
A. Proverbs 22:28 “Do not remove the ancient landmark Which your fathers have set.”
B. Many boys and girls grow up and never see their mom and dad set out a boundary line for their actions.
C. Proverbs 29:15 “...a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.”
D. The findings of an interesting study done on school children by “Focus on the Family” reveals that a group of educators decided to remove the chain-link fences from around the school playgrounds. They believed the fences promoted feelings of confinement and restraint. The curious thing they noticed, however, that as soon as the fences were removed, the children huddled in the center of the playground to play. Conclusion: Children need boundaries. (Dr. James Dobson).
E. Every parent who loves their children establishes rules. We need to teach our children that there are BOUNDARIES … rules & regulations.
F. Ephesians 6:4 “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture (training) and admonition (discipline) of the Lord.
G. When a father establishes boundaries his child’s character is strengthened. Our children need to know there is a difference between what the world says is okay and what God says is okay. They need to know that there is an omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, unchanging God who has given us a standard of conduct to live by—the Bible and that keeping God’s commandments and standards invites God’s blessings and violating them invites His discipline.
H. We need to learn as parents how to say no; to say to our children you can’t have everything that you what or go wherever you want.
I. Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
IV. A good father educates his children in the way of the Lord
A. Psalm 34:11 “Come, you children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD.” (AMP = “I will teach you to revere and worshipfully fear the Lord.”)
B. We need fathers who will teach their children to love and fear the Lord.
C. Psalm 78:1-4 “Give ear, O my people, to my law; incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings of old, which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, telling to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and His strength and His wonderful works that He has done.”
D. 1 Corinthians 4:15-17 “For though ye have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet have ye not many fathers: for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel. Wherefore I beseech you, be ye followers of me. For this cause have I sent unto you Timotheus, who is my beloved son, and faithful in the Lord, who shall bring you into remembrance of my ways which be in Christ, as I teach everywhere in every church.”
E. Our teaching must never be “Do as I say not as I do”: It should be “Follow my example.” Our teaching must be correct, continual, and consistent.
F. The old saying that actions speak louder than words is so true when it comes to teaching our children. The example we live has much more influence on them than anything we could ever say. Children learn by what they see their parents doing.
G. The wife of a prominent lawyer who had been under deep conviction for several days gave the following account of her conversation at a prayer meeting. "Last evening my little girl came to me and said, `Mamma, are you a Christian?' `No, Fannie, I am not.' She turned and went away, and as she walked off I heard her say, `Well, if Mamma isn't a Christian, I don't want to be one.' And I tell you it went right to my heart, and I then gave myself to Christ."—Sunday School Times.
