God’s Instructions for Fathers
Various scripture within the text for each point
Intro: Three boys in the schoolyard were bragging about who had the better father:
The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, and they give him $100.”
The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, and they give him $1000.”
The third boy says, “My Dad is ever better than that. He scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a sermon, and it takes 6 or 8 men just to collect all the money!”
. Young ones are usually proud of their dad’s aren’t they.
. One day mother chanced by the nursery and noticed her husband standing in rapt contemplation by the crib of his sleeping son. Silently, she watched him for a awhile, wondering what thoughts raced through his mind as he looked at his own flesh and blood asleep in the crib. At last she slipped into the room and put her arm through his and asked "What are you thinking of, dear?" He came to with a start. "Oh, I was just wondering how in the world they can make a crib like this for $24.95."+
. Sometimes dads see things form a different perspective.
. You know there are shelves in book stores just full of opinions on how to be a good parent and especially a good dad. As I studied and meditated and prayed through a sermon for Fathers Day I realized that the only instruction book we need is God’s word.
. The bible has much to say about being a good father. I would like to share a few of them with you this morning,
. Number 1, Love your Wife
. Look at eph 5:25-28: 25For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the bchurch. He gave up his life for her26to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.27He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.28In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies.
. Men, your children watch how you treat their mother.
. They learn how to love by watching how you love.
. If they see you show disrespect for your wife … your son will carry that into his marriage.
. If you verbally or mentally or physically abuse your wife … your daughter will expect that in her marriage.
. If you treat their mother like she isn’t worth very much … you are degrading the home, the family, and marriage … which they will carry into their future homes, families & marriages.
BUT …
.If they visibly see you show love and respect to their mother … your son will learn how to be a good husband and father himself.
. If you honor your wife … your daughter will never be satisfied with a man who dishonors her.
. If you cherish their mother as a valuable part of not only your life, but their life … they will carry that model with them for the rest of their lives.
. I watched a family disintegrate in front of my eyes and I believe that it started with how the husband treated the mother and allowed the children to mimic Him.
. Sadly those children are grown now and the scenario is repeating itself in the lives of the grown children.
. Fathers and husbands, Love your Wife.
. Number 2: Don’t Expect Perfect Children
. Col. 3:21 says; Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.
. Just like there are no perfect fathers … there are no perfect children … AMEN?
.Fathers, don’t EXPECT your children to be perfect. Don’t expect them to meet all of your expectations … to fulfill all of your goals for them … to be what you want them to be.
.Too many fathers try to live out their own lives through their children. They want their sons to be the football stars that they could never be. They want their daughters to marry into money & success that they never achieved.
.Every child is different … they are not a clone of you (Thank God!). It’s natural for a child to make mistakes … spill their milk … accidentally break things … do poorly on a test … get angry …
.They’re not perfect … like YOU were when you were a kid! ACCEPT your children for who they are … whether they are clumsy or athletic … scatterbrained or brainy … shy or a motor-mouth … goofy or sophisticated …
.Instead of constantly criticizing their imperfections, acknowledge their imperfections … and love them. They aren’t perfect … they will never be perfect … don’t expect them to be perfect.
. Don’t expect perfect children
. Number 3: Enjoy Your Children
.Psalm 127:3 ; 3Children are a gift from the LORD;they are a reward from him.
. Children are given to us to enjoy , not to be a burden ,not to avoid, not to ignore , but to enjoy! In order to enjoy them, you’ve got to be with them … have fun with them … share your life with them.
. I have heard it said many times that the quality of time is what’s important not the quantity.
. That’s hogwash. It’s the quality and the quantity that’s important.,
. You can’t spend five minutes with them and say that was quality time.
. The quantity of time you spend with them tells them how important they are to you.
. Enjoy being a father. Spend time with them.
. There are so many people in this world that crave a relationship with a father they never had.
. In his book, What’s So Amazing About Grace , Phillip Yancey tells the story of Ernest Hemingway. Hemingway grew up in a very devout evangelical family, and yet there he never experienced the grace of Christ. He lived a libertine life that most of us would call "dissolute"… but there was no father, no parent waiting for him and he sank into the mire of a graceless depression. A short story he wrote perhaps reveals the grace that he hoped for. It is the story of a Spanish father who decided to reconcile with his son who had run away to Madrid. The father, in a moment of remorse, takes out this ad in El Libro , a newspaper. "Paco, meet me at Hotel Montana, Noon, Tuesday… All is forgiven… Papa." When the father arrived at the square in hopes of meeting his son, he found eight hundred Pacoes waiting to be reunited with their father. Was Paco such a popular name? Or was it the burning desire to have a relationship with that father that brought these men to the square.
. Fathers enjoy your children.
. Invest your life in their life.
.Number 4: Listen To Your Children
. Proverbs 1:5; “A wise man will hear and increase in learning…”
.Give them you’re undivided attention.
. Two elderly ladies were sitting on the front porch one evening. One was listening to the crickets chirping. The other was listening to a choir rehearsing in the church across the street. The latter said to the former, "Isn't that heavenly music?" "Yes," said the first woman. "And I understand they do it by rubbing their legs together."
. We need to truly listen to what our children are saying.
. When they have a problem … when they are worried … when they are sad … when they are lonely … they don’t need cartoons, or a video game, or their best friends Dad … they need YOU!
Get involved with your children, and know what’s going on in their everyday life. Listen to them … even when they‘re not saying anything, they are speaking volumes. Be the kind of father that they can come to and say anything that’s on their mind … without being criticized for it.
. You know that’s a hard thing to do.
. Listening without criticizing. It has taken me years to understand this concept. My sons who are both here may say that I still don’t grasp the concept.
. We want to see them succeed and have happy lives that sometimes all we want to do is tell them what to do and we don’t listen to them.
. If you listen to them when they’re small and their problems are small … and then they’ll come to you when they’re bigger, and their problems are bigger.
. The proverb says that when we listen, we will learn.
. Not only will we learn what is going on in their lives we can learn and glean things from our children.
. I have found that sometimes they have insights that I haven’t thought about.
. Fathers, listen to your children.
. Number 5: Provide For Your Children.
. 1 timothy 5:8: But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.
. Even the lost provide for their families … but… you can’t be a good father and not provide for your children.
I don’t mean that you have to give them everything they want … that’s 1 of the WORST things you can do. We are living in a generation of children whose parents have given them everything through an attitude that they want them to have a better life than they have or have had. There’s nothing wrong with wanting good things for your children but I’m afraid that in this process they have adopted the idea that everything is supposed to come instantly. That they don’t have to work and save and wait on some things in their life.
. We do an injustice to our children when we give them everything and they never learn what it is to work and save for something.
. Too many fathers think they can buy off their children with Things… and thus relieve themselves of the guilt for not being the kind of father they ought to be … that they can buy their way out of Biblical fatherhood.
. I have told you a little about growing up on that chicken farm. Let me share some other things with you.
. We grew up poor although I didn’t know it until I was in my teens. My dad had a good job and also raised those chickens that still haunt me to this day. Even though he did all of this there were still seven of us boys and our mom to provide for. For years we took a bath in the kitchen sik with water my mom had heated on the stove. We didn’t have indoor plumbing until I was around 12 years old. As I look back, I can see that life was hard but at the time it didn’t phase me at all.
. You see, I had all that I needed. My father, my dad provided for his family. We always had food and although our clothes may not have been new, they were clean. Dad taught me the value of getting up every morning and going to work and about meeting the needs of his family.
. While he could not give me all my desires, he provided what I needed.
. We don’t have to give our children everything but we must provide what they need in life.
. God instructs fathers to provide for their children.
. Number six: Be A Positive Role Model.
. Proverbs 22:6; Direct your children onto the right path,
and when they are older, they will not leave it.
. You are a role model for your children … like it or not … good or bad … they will, to one degree or another, model their lives after you. You have inherited some of your father’s characteristics … your children are inheriting some of yours.
. Play Imitation video by veracity project. Available at sermon central
. Whether you know it or not (or mean to or not), you are influencing the lives of your children, and your children’s children.
You are a role model … a good father will be a good role model.
. God’s instructions say that we should train our children what is right and they will not forget what you have taught them.
. Number Seven: Pray.
. Pray for yourself and for your children.
. 1 Chronicles 16:11; Search for the LORD and for his strength;
Continually seek him.
. You don’t have all the answers to their questions … you can’t solve all their problems. You don’t have all the wisdom, love and patience to be the father you ought to be. Without God’s help, you can never be the father God wants you to be.
You need help! You can’t do it by yourself …
. Pray for wisdom in your efforts to be a Godly father.
. Pray for your children.
. You can’t be with your children all the time … God can. You can’t protect them wherever they go … God can. You can teach them right from wrong, but you can’t be there when it’s put to the test … God can.
Pray for your children! Lift them up to God to do for them what you can’t do. As parents, we aren’t perfect, and we make mistakes. If we had to do it all over again, we would do things differently. Maybe we’ve done the best we could … we did what we thought was right … we raised our children the best we knew how. Now what you need to do is:
PRAY FOR THEM … because your Heavenly Father loves them as much as you do … and He has more experience than you do. Pray that God the Father will take your well-intended efforts at fatherhood … and use them to bring your children into His loving arms.
Conclusion
. It’s not easy being a good father.
. It takes hard work, hard praying, and making hard decisions. You can’t do it alone. God doesn’t expect you to. God doesn’t want you to. Don’t leave Him out of your adventure in fatherhood.
. Heed Gods instructions to fathers.
Invitation
. *** To my Christian brothers and sisters, thank you for taking the time to read this sermon. I ask that you take another second and score this for me. I am always open to feedback so that I can continue to grow in the proclamation of God’s word.
May God bless you as you continue to strive to walk worthy of His calling.
. Sources:
The Holy Bible, NLT
Main points and some of content came from: How To Be A Good Father; Ray Scott, Sermon Central
