CONSTRUCTION ZONE
(Father’s Day)
Eph 6: 1-4 (p 829) June 17, 2012
INTRODUCTION:
I want my sons to love their wives like I love their Mother…I want my son’s-in-laws to love my daughters like I love their Mom.
As a husband, and father I want to “give them a target to shoot at (not literally). I want to give them a goal to work toward. Give them a pattern that they can see clearly, Billy Graham said, “Do that and you give your children something that gold and silver cannot buy.”
I love being a Dad…I love being a Granddad, (Pawpaw) even more…but. Father’s day has that bittersweet taste to it…because my target, my pattern, my goal to work toward left this earth in 2004.
But one of the reasons I want to be that kind of example for my children, and grandchildren is because of the example he was for me…
It breaks my heart to see the effects of absentee fathers…or maybe ever worse…”abusive and unhealthy” fathers…I can’t even imagine what that’s like because of what my earthly father did for me…loving, generous, self-scarifying..Faithful to my mom and God and His country…that’s what Dad constructed in me…
He was the primary teacher of what it means to be a Man…Here’s what one guy said were the top 10 reasons to be a man…
10 You know stuff about tanks.
9 You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
8 If someone forgets to invite you to something he can still be your friend.
7 You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
6 If another guy shows up at the same party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
5 One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
4 There is always a game on somewhere.
3 Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with, “So…notice anything different?”
2 If something mechanical doesn’t work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
1 You can do your nails with a pocketknife.
That’s why it’s good to be a “Man”!!!
Hey, some of us had great examples of what it means to be “a man”…others had horrible examples…or no example at all…Some of us had “step dads” that stepped into the breach…or “mentors” that socially adopted us “along with the real sons” I almost feel guilty because of the Dad I had…how good he was, how secure he made us all feel.
I cannot explain why I received that blessing…and maybe you didn’t or why God would allow you to go through all you’ve been through to get here ….But…
You are here WOW…our past effects us…and sometimes prepares us…but it does not have to define our future.
So, fathers, mentors, brothers, men…and those of you who love us (women and children).
Here’s the question...what are you building…what does your construction zone look like? How is god building you and how are you constructing the pattern for others?
You see we as men are either headed for spiritual revived or extinction…Daddy’s will become dinosaurs
Joe Maxwell, writing on the web site called ibelieve.com, summarizes the state of fatherhood in an article entitled, “Dads: The New Endangered Species.” Here’s what he says: “In other words, guys really want to be good dads more than ever, but they aren’t changing much. When the good news is combined with the bad, it seems that fatherhood in the United States is poised for either a great awakening or a gory collapse.”
Here’s the first brink in constructing godly homes…
I TEACH WHAT’S RIGHT…AND OBEY IT
“Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.”
Children are taught by example much more than words…words are important, but actions speak louder.
Advertisers on T.V. know it…whether it’s the little boy playing with the Chevy Silverado truck until his dad gets home in the real one…or the Father and Son setting on the couch…eating and drinking the same stuff…until the Mom replaces the sugaree soda with water.
Parents can be schematic…children follow their lead.
The average child will ask 5000,000 questions from the time they start talking to the age of 15. Answering those questions is important, but much of the answers are caught rather taught. Kids learn from what they observe. Our life style is the lesson.
Paul tells us dad’s “bring up” your children in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Here’s a heavy duty question for us as Dad’s “Is my spiritual life worth imitating?” Do my children see one in prayer…bible Study…Church…Caring for others?”
Sunday school, Vacation Bible School, camp, they’re all important…but our Godly father is worth more than a dozen Sunday school teachers.
The book of Proverbs tells us “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it” (22:6)
Children will make the choice to obey…or rebel. And because each of us has “a sinful nature” from birth…rebelling is a built in commodity!
So we discipline to teach and mold our children...not just control and punish.
Folks,
II RSPECT DOESN’T COME NATURALLY TO THE REBEL.
Children….Honor…children obey….
Why…”Well it’s the first of the 10 commands with a promise…1st) so it may go well with you” 2) So you may enjoy long life on earth.”
We will either learn to respect authority and honor it…or we will spend our entire lives “fighting it”
Mark Twain Said…”When I was a boy of 14 my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I go to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in 7 years.”
Mark Twain also had a unique plan for bringing up children…He said, “when your son turns 13 put him in a barrel and tie him through the knothole…when he turns 16…plug up the knothole!”
Our children…all children are rebels…because our children…all children are sinful by nature…so are all parents.
God our Father teaches us to respect Him many times with discipline…Listen,
Hebrews 12: 5-11 (p 852)
God doesn’t punish us to control us… He disciplines us to train us…shape us…protect us…
What happens when children have no discipline? They never learn to respect authority….life becomes a constant rebellion… (Some become proud of how good they are at rebelling) …It will not go well with them…and many will not live long lives.
I understand we live in a very broken world…and God’s ideal doesn’t exist for many of you…divided families…weekend Dads or part time…Dual standards or the temptation to bug your kids love…guilt…single Mom’s…single Dad’s…Please, Please, Please!!...Take God’s grace and forgiveness for your past…you cannot change it or reshape it…but the past doesn’t have to become the future…become the Man or Woman God will shape you to be in your salvation…if restoration is possible…restore!!!If not be God’s instrument and minister as a redeemed Dad or Mom.
“It’s O.K. to make mistakes but don’t get stuck in yesterday! (Philips Craig and Dean…”Nothing to prove”)
Here’s the hope we have as Mom’s & Dad’s the right things we teach, the genuine life in Christ we try to model…even the discipline we impart…
It’s a foundation our children can return to after their rebellion…it’s a truth they can find security in after the walk in the darkness…My hope is the “Now” isn’t forever…and that God isn’t through...when I think things are hopeless…training, discipline, teaching, sometimes takes time to take root.
Eph 6:4 says via the message translation “Don’t keep on scolding and nagging your children, make them angry and resentful…
It’s so hard not to let anger and control become our motive for discipline…but it’s essential, we as fathers keep our eyes on the “prize” … I’m training my children, preparing my son…building my daughter. Not so she is under my thumb…but so she’s under God’s wing.
ILL-Here is the sad confession of one father. “I took my children to school but no to church. I taught them to drink but no of the living water. I enrolled them in Little League but no Sunday school. I showed them how to fish but not to be fisher of men. I made the Lord’s Day a holiday, rather than a holy day.”
“I taught them the church was full of hypocrites and made the greater hypocrite of them and me.
“I gave them a color TV bur provided no Bible. I handed them the keys to the care but did not give to them the keys of the kingdom of God. I taught them how to make a living but failed to bring them to Christ who alone can make a life.”
Our job as Dad’s isn’t to build great athletes… (They’ll just thank Mom at the end of the game anyway!)
Our job is to build the Kingdom of God and pave the road so our children can enter it…All the while still knowing “we’re still under construction…we’re few from perfect OURSELVES… (Let the quilt flow) but we will not forget “the big picture.” while teaching our children how to hit a fast ball.
Are you a coach…or a critic…that’s the question of Eph 6:4
ILL.-A man by the name of Jim Burton said these words about being a father. “When I was young, baseball was my life. You can imagine the excitement I felt when my oldest son began playing. This game would be one our main bonding mechanisms. If my son would just listen, I could help him be a great baseball player. Learning to read curve balls, shift his body weight with the swing, steal bases, turn double plays – these things separate the amateurs from the pors.”
Burton said, “a pattern developed in our relationship. Because of my familiarity with the game, I saw every mistake my son made. In addition, I knew how to correct them. “So post-game drives home became a critique of how to improve his game. It soon got old for my son. One night he finally said, “DAD COULD YOU NOT START BY TELLING ME EVERTHING I DID WRONG. Tell ME WHAT I DID RIGHT FIRST.”
Please know not all rebellion is external…if you become the “critic”…the controller…you might modify outward behavior in your child, but the rebel within is “exacerbated” and the internal rebel might be even scarier than the external one…because that will surface later in life…but rest assured it will surface.
Let me end with one final building block of truth..
III IT’S HARD TO FINISH WELL
It’s a blessing when my children obey me…it’s an honor when I see them choose eternal things…or values that are really really important to me and their mother.
I would share its not easy to be my child…a preachers child…and to exist in the fishbowl of judgment that sometimes goes with the territory.
But Kair and I have as our goal that our children really love Jesus…not just look like they love Jesus…that has been the building plan in our home..
I’m no through with that building quite yet, but my youngest will be 21 her next birthday..so I’m getting closer…what will honor me more than anything is to see her, and her future husband, as well as my others..teaching their children to know what’s right..and obey it…she’ll have to deal with her own rebel…we all do as dad’s and Mom’s …but I want to finish as well as my Dad.
[My Dad died of lung cancer in 2004…he battled cancer for 5 years, as well as a large aneurisms. But the lung cancer and other cancer was discovered in December of 2003….He died Mar 2, 2004….barley 2 months later…He weighed 136 pounds before this…in the later stages… barley 100 lbs… a month before he died my Mom and He celebrated their 57th wedding anniversary…My Dad didn’t say “I love you a lot…” but he was a generous romantic…deeply in love with my Mother till the day he died…So on December 19th he drove himself to Turfland Mall about 2 miles from their house)…and with a cane made it into Leroy’s jewelers to pick out a Ruby Ring for my Mother…and then he tried to pay for it on his VISA…it wouldn’t go through…his VISA was declined…he remembered why…
Do you know why? Because he’d cancelled it so my Mom wouldn’t have to deal with that stuff after his death…He’d forgotten amid the medicine for the cancer…so Mom came up and paid for her anniversary ring…
That’s how I want to finish…just like that Dad!]
