Opening illustration: Play a video on imitation.
Introduction: Now in this text of Scripture Paul compares himself to a father of the Corinthian believers. He was not their biological father, but he was a spiritual father to them. He was instrumental in bringing them to faith in Christ. Through Paul’s gospel they were born again. And like a father he loved them, taught them, set an example for them, admonished them, and was even willing to discipline them like a father. So even though this text deals primarily with being a good spiritual parent in terms of witnessing and discipleship, I believe we can glean some good guidelines for parenting our children today. So those of us who are fathers or mothers of children under our care would do well to listen carefully to what Paul has to say here. It is not known whether Paul ever returned to Corinth, but it is likely. In 2 Corinthians 2: 1, Paul writes that he had decided not to make ‘another painful visit,’ implying that he had had a previous painful confrontation with the Corinthian believers. From this passage it is evident that the Corinthians had many tutors but only one spiritual father, Paul.
What are the marks (character) of a godly dad?
1. Mentor to be IMITATED (vs. 14-17)
Paul states clearly that each one of us may have many teachers or tutors but the one who makes the most profound and lasting impact is the father. The Corinthians had many tutors but they could not do what Paul had done; none of them could beget them to life in Jesus Christ. The mark of a spiritual father is that he begets ... he begets. Verse 15, "Though you have ten thousand instructors in Christ, you have a lot of teachers, not many fathers. No, for in Christ Jesus I alone have begotten you through the gospel." Paul says I am your spiritual father first of all because I led you to Christ that is begetting. And really that’s where being a spiritual father has to start. A father is somebody who has a child, would you agree to that? You don’t have a child, you’re not a father. You may be a husband, you may be a man, but you’re not a father. But you become a father when you produce an offspring. There are some Christians who are not spiritual fathers. They have never produced a child. They have never begotten anybody in Christ. They have never led anybody to Jesus Christ. They are not a spiritual father. And in a sense, they are a living contradiction to what a Christian is. A Christian is a living thing. And one of the characteristics of a living thing is the ability to do what? To reproduce. And so a Christian should be reproductive. Every believer should be a spiritual father in the metaphorical sense, bringing somebody to Christ. Set an example which must be followed.
Paul says in v.16, “Therefore I urge you, imitate me.” [Literally, it is “become mimics of me.”] Likewise, Paul said in 1 Cor. 11:1, “Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.” Paul lived an exemplary life before other believers, and so he taught by example. In fact, what we see has a greater impact upon us that what we hear. And without a good example, a parent’s teaching cannot be effective. And our children are more likely to follow what we do than what we say. Furthermore, little children learn first by example, then by explanation. Paul not only could say, “Do as I say,” but also, “Do as I do.” This also means that you need to spend time with your children so they can see your example in everyday life. Someone has said, “So live that when your son speaks of you he will stick out his chest instead of his tongue.”
Many of you have had wonderful fathers but still a number of you haven’t and some of you have literally not known who or what a dad is like! Apparently he is the one who sets the example for all in the family. Not that he is an all perfect flawless dad but he is the one whose heart is all out for God and then his family. The matter of setting an example is especially difficult with our children. After all, when we disciple those outside our families, they often see us only in ideal situations, where it is easy to act spiritual and mature. But our children see us in all of our moods, attitudes, and actions. Children have a way of imitating their parents, either for good or for ill.
Illustrations: What kind of an example are you setting? Well what would you do in the following situations -
(i) A motorist tailgates you, and then cuts in front of you just before you both stop at a red light. Do you get his attention and give him some choice words or a hand gesture?
(ii) When taking the family to places that offer discounts to children, do you ever tell your kids to shave a year or two off their ages?
(iii) You are about to embark on a trip to Disney, and your child will miss school. Do you tell the teacher the reason for the absence, or do you make up an excuse like they are sick, or they have to go to a funeral?
Listen, parents should set a good example, but when they don’t, you follow your Heavenly Father. Your highest obligation is to follow Him. A bad example does not give you the excuse to do wrong. And because of our failure in this regard, at least 3 times in the Old Testament God told the Israelites “Do not be like your fathers …” (2 Chron. 30:7; Ps. 78:8; Zec. 1:4). Sometimes parents are not the example they should be. Someone said, “If you can’t be a good example - then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.”
Illustration: A young boy looked up at his grandfather and wondered aloud, “Grandpa, how do you live for Jesus?” The respected grandfather stooped down and quietly told the boy, “Just watch.” As the years went by the grandfather was an example to the boy of how to follow Jesus. He stayed rock-steady in living for Him. Yet the grandson often lived in a way that was not pleasing to God. One day the young man visited his grandfather for what both knew would be the last time. As the older man lay dying, his grandson leaned over the bed and heard his grandpa whisper, “Did you watch?” That was the turning point in the boy’s life. He understood that when his grandpa had said, “Just watch,” he meant, “Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.” He vowed that from then on he would live as his grandfather did - striving to please Jesus. He had watched, and now he knew how to live.
Is somebody watching you? When people watch your life what do they see? What are your priorities? What are your views? Are there younger Christians who need to see that it is possible to live for Jesus every day and in every way? Challenge them - and yourself. Challenge them to “just watch.” Then show them the way.
2. Man of few words but a Man of ACTION (vs. 18-20)
Speaking of that, we see here an illustration of the serious problem of a lack of parental respect. Do your children see you as all talk and no action? Do you warn your children of what the consequences will be if they do wrong, and then do nothing to impose the consequences? Do you make threats, and not carry out your threats? You say, “I’m warning you for the last time,” and then it became clear that it wasn’t really the last time. If you’re not careful, you will begin to sound like the modern mother who shouted at her spoiled son, “This is the last time I’m going to tell you for the last time!” It doesn’t take long for your children to loose respect for you. Without strong leadership in the home, your children will think that they can get by with “murder.”
Now the flip side of this issue can also be a problem. Sometimes children are all talk and no action. Some children can talk a good game but their lives don’t back it up. Paul says in v.19, “But I will come to you shortly, if the Lord wills, and I will know, not the word of those who are puffed up, but the power.” No doubt, the Corinthians had all sorts of excuses and arguments for their behavior. But Paul was not looking for words, but spiritual power in their lives. Faith that does not result in right living may have many words to support it, but it will have no power. So parents don’t accept excuses too often. Promises to do right are not enough. We need to see right conduct in our children, not good arguments. Teenagers, you want your parents to trust you. Well trust is built upon a pattern of right action, not just talk.
All right, if we’re to be a spiritual father we beget, we love, we admonish, we set the example, we teach ... and one more and we’ll be done ... we discipline. We have to discipline. I mean, when it’s time to use a rod, we use a rod. We have to come to those that we’ve led to Christ and we have to deal with them. I can think of many times in my own life with people that I’ve done this, when I’ve discipled somebody and I’ve just sat them down and I’ve just said, "You know, it grieves my heart to tell you this because I love you but you are out of line and there’s going to have to be some changes in your life. Your testimony is not what it ought to be. You’re not living by the principles." And you really come down to grips with this and sometimes there’s some tears shed and sometimes there’s some pain but when it’s all done you’ve done what’s right because you’ve confronted them with what has to be done.
Look at verse 18, now he says, "Some of you are puffed up as though I wouldn’t come to you." The Corinthians had a puffed-up problem. They had pride. We saw that last time. And some of them were really proud. You know, they were saying, "O boy, you know, Paul won’t dare come around here. He won’t show up around here. You know why? Man, we’ve got control of this baby, he’s afraid ... he’s afraid to show up. See, we’ve established new groups, Cephas group, Apollos group, Christ group and Paul has pretty well faded, he won’t show up around here." They were really proud and boastful.
And so, he says some of you are puffed up, you don’t think I’m coming but I will come shortly. Then he throws this in, "If the Lord will." He knew to throw that in because a lot of times when he planned to go somewhere he never got there. "And I’ll find out then not the speech of them that are puffed up but the power. I’ll find out who is all talk and who is real when I get there. You people talk a great game but I’m going to find out who is real, not who is just talking." Paul moves on to a challenge. These Corinthians can talk enough; but it is not their high-sounding words that matter; it is their deeds. Jesus never said or affirmed that ‘By their words you will know them.’ He said, ‘By their fruits you shall know them.’ The world is full of talk about Christianity, but one is worth a thousand words. It is one thing to serve on a committee and talk; it is another thing to serve Christ and act.
In our body of Christ, today we need some spiritual fathers and mothers who will step up and help others grow in Christ. What if I telephoned this week and said, “I have a baby Christian who needs to grow. Can you help?” What would you say? How would you respond? Paul would say, “There’s only one right answer: be a father or mother.” Today, will you begin to look for one person who you can help in his or her spiritual walk? Would you set an example for these young men and women? It is high time the dads (and even moms) stop saying, ‘Do as I say’ without exemplifying but would rather say, ‘Do as I do.’
3. DISCIPLE to make Right Choices (v. 21)
Did you notice there’s no answer there in verse 21? Why isn’t there any answer? Who had to make the answer? The Corinthians! The choice is yours. I’ll come and if it needs to be a rod, it’s going to be a rod and some heads are going to roll. That’s right. But, I could come in love and gentleness, it’s up to you. This is a great illustration of a loving father who is going to use the rod when he needs to use it, who’s going to discipline when he needs to discipline and who’s going to love in gentleness when that’s called for. But the decision is theirs.
Have you ever told that to your children? Have you ever said, "Look, the choice is yours"? "You can obey me and everything will be great, but you don’t obey me and the consequences you pay." That’s what he’s saying. God laid the laws down; you obey ... great, fine. You don’t ... the rod.
And so, the spiritual father bares his heart. I care about you, he says. I begot you. I love you. I seek to see a change in your evil behavior. I want the pattern of my life to be the example for you. Paul cared about them ... so much so that he was willing not only to teach them but to discipline them, to bring them into conformity to that pattern. That is as it should be.
Illustration: The Billionaire Donald Trump was asked what was the best thing he’s ever done.
He said, “Well, I’ve created four beautiful children. You mean, other than that?” Indeed, being a good father or mother is one of life’s most important privileges. But being a father or mother is also one of life’s most difficult responsibilities. And I suppose that raising good children is more difficult now than it was in previous generations. We need help. It is easy to become a biological father, but hard to become a really good father. Some of you were taught parenting skills by the example of your own parents. Others are pretty clueless when it comes to parenting. So I want to turn your attention to the Word of God for guidance concerning this very important responsibility.
Application: Dad, which kind of father do you want to be? Will you make the commitment to be the kind of father that we have read about today? It could make a real impact on your children if you make a public commitment to become the kind of father God wants you to be. For some, the best thing you could do for your children is to give you heart and life to Jesus Christ. Or perhaps you need to move your membership to this church, where your wife and children are members.
My prayer for us, for me, for you, for all of us is that we would become in the fullest sense spiritual fathers. Wouldn’t that be exciting? Why aren’t we busy reproducing? There may be ten thousand instructors, all kinds of people that are teaching and giving input. Not many fathers. A Christian who isn’t spiritually fathering somebody is a contradiction. My prayer for us is that we would all become spiritual fathers.
