Title: The “Ought” of Love!
Text: I John 4:7-21
Thesis: Love is at the core of what it means to be a Christian.
Series: The second in the series from I John 4:7-21, “The Christian’s Litmus Test”
(If there were one decisive factor in determining the reality of one’s Christianity… what would that test be? A confession of faith and doctrinal purity? Would the test be ethical or behavioral… a holy life? Good works? Unconditional, Christ-like love?)
Introduction
This week I ran across a few bloopers recorded on hospital patient charts that may or may not be real… but here are a few examples:
• Patient refused autopsy.
• Patient became very angry when given an enema by mistake.
• Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
• Patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
• Patient is numb from her toes down.
• Patient’s skin was moist and dry.
• Patient is under our car for physical therapy.
• Patient has occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
• Patient was alert and unresponsive.
• Lab tests indicated abnormal lover function.
This morning I want to speak to the condition of having abnormal lover function…
In I John 4:11 our text states, “Since God loved us that much (see verse 9), we surely ought to love each other…” So it would seem that God’s love for us literally compels us to love others. As recipients of God’s love we then “ought” to love others.
But the fact that we “ought” to love others does not make it so.
There is at least one reason why the “ought” isn’t.
I. There is a reason people who “ought” to love, don’t.
“I tell you, her sins – and they are many – have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But, a person who is forgiven little, shows only a little love.” Luke 7:36-50
Once, while having dinner in the home of in influential religious leader named Simon, an immoral woman of the city came into the home and began to anoint Jesus’ feet with expensive, perfumed oil. And as she did so, she wept and kissed his feet and dried them with her hair. Simon reacted just like most of us would react if anyone, much less a known prostitute, came in and began to anoint someone’s feet. Simon was flabbergasted and said to himself, “If Jesus was really a prophet he would know that the woman touching him is a sinner!”
Just as we readily pick up on what others are thinking in given situations, Jesus knew exactly what Simon was thinking. Jesus then spoke to Simon and told a parable about a man who forgave the debts of two men, both of whom owed him money. One man owed him 500 pieces of silver or 500 denarii. A denarii was the equivalent of a what a laborer would earn in a day. So the man owed the equivalent of what a man would earn in 500 days or nearly a year and a half of earnings. The other owed a much lesser amount, 50 days earnings.
In the story Jesus said that the man owed the money “kindly” cancelled the debt of both men. Then Jesus posed the question, “Which man do you supposed loved him most after that?” Of course the obvious answer was, “I suppose the one for whom he cancelled the larger debt.”
Jesus went on explain himself, “I tell you, her sins – and they are many – have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But, a person who is forgiven little, shows only a little love.” Luke 7:36-50
So, John points out in our text today that since “God has showed how much he loved us by sending his only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him… since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other.” I John 4:9 and 11
The man in the parable could not love like that woman loved because he had little or no sense of his own wretchedness. He only knew he believed he was a lot better person than was the woman, presumed to be a prostitute. He could not and he would not do such a selfless and sacrificial thing for Jesus or anyone else, for such a spectacle was well beneath his dignity… And as Jesus, not so subtly pointed out, it was because he loved little.
That is why we find the word “ought” in our text today. “Since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other…” The word “ought” means “to owe.” There is a certain compulsion to love others.
It is that sense of owing that puts a negative spin on the “ought” of loving.
II. There is a negative side to the “ought” to love.
“Don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. God loves a person who gives cheerfully.” II Corinthians 9:6-9
The text I have cited is one that I think of as containing a transferable concept. The context in II Corinthians 9 is about how Paul wants the Christian community living in Corinth to feel about their giving of financial assistance to the Christian community living in Jerusalem… who had fallen on very hard economic times. (In our culture it might be a crisis resulting from a hurricane, tornado, earthquake, flood, etc.) He is encouraging them to be generous in their support of others who are in need. But he does not want anyone to give a dime if they are reluctant to do so or feel like they are being compelled or pressured to give.
Paul knows, just as we all know, It takes the joy out of giving if our perception is that we have to give. And the concept is transferable to other forms of giving including the giving of our love to another. It takes the joy out of loving if we think we have to love. If we love because we “ought” to love it is hardly a joyful expression of love.
There is certainly a negative side to owing someone… we do not like to be indebted to anyone. We’ve all thought it, heard it or perhaps even said it, “You owe me.” We may well decline an offer of help because, “we do not want to owe anyone.” The old idiom comes to mind: “Neither a borrower nor lender be.”
NASCAR I was reading about NASCAR driving teams and sponsors in the sports section of the Denver Post this week so NASCAR came to mind. NASCAR is an example of how advertisers sponsor a driving team. “Always searching for an opportunity to display their logos to 75 million American NASCAR fan consumers… corporations leap at the chance to support NASCAR events. And in return for their money, company logos will be prominently displayed on the cars, equipment and uniforms.” (sports.whatitcosts.com/sponsor-nascar-team)
If a NASCAR car owner takes a begrudgingly takes a sponsor’s money and does not represent the interests of that sponsor, the sponsor can call up and say, “Hey, you owe me.” So when corporate sponsors like Furniture Row, 5-Hour Energy, Fed Ex, Bushes Beans or Home Depot give a team money they expect to get something back… like lots of advertising in the winner’s circle.
A NASCAR car owner needs to be absolutely delighted to have received sponsorship and more than happy to represent the sponsors of the racing team.
We fully understand what it means to buy and receive political influence and we understand what it means to buy and receive advertising… because it is owed. I’m sure we have all said something like, “I don’t want to do it but I have to because I am indebted to them.”
Ideally, the “ought” of given or loving is not to be perceived as a drudgery but it can be.
However, just as there is a negative side to “ought,” there is a positive side.
III. There is a positive side to the “ought” to love.
“For we know how dearly God loves us because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with love.” Romans 5:5
Owed “ought” is not the kind of “ought” spoken of in our text. It is not the “ought to” that compels us to love because someone is reminding us that we “owe” them big time. It is not the kind of “ought” that is imposed on us outwardly. It is an “ought” that constrains us inwardly. No one is making us “pay it back,” so to speak. But because we have received we are inwardly moved to or are constrained to love. It is the inner response of the man who has just been forgiven a huge amount of money. It is the inner response of a woman who has found love in an unforgiving world.
Remember last week, we learned that God is love and that love comes from God. The “ought” to love does not call for us to give anything we have not received from God. “For we know how dearly God loves us because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with love.” Romans 5:5 (The old KJV puts it, “…because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit which is given unto us.”) God has filled our hearts with His love.
The love spoken of in our text is not a dutiful love we conjure up and say, “Well, because God loves me so much I need to pony up a little love.” It’s not an, “I owe, I owe, so off to love I go…” love. It is a love that wells up within us and because God’s Spirit has already poured it into our hearts, it overflows to others.
Giving Soda to Our Grandchildren Our children do not let our grandkiddos drink a lot of pop. They are into healthy juices and fruit smoothies and so on. However they likely have some Coke in the pantry. So imagine a scenario where our daughter asks me, “Dad, would you like a coke?” And I would say, “Yes.” So she gives me a glass of coke. It so happens that one of the grandkiddos knows I have a glass of coke and sidles up to me and whispers, “Can I have a sip?” And I whisper back, “Yes you may,” and we commence to share the coke.
My grandchild has not asked me for anything more than what was given to me. I share coke out of the abundance of coke I have been given. That is how it is with the love of God… we simply share love from the abundance of God’s love that we have been given.
So when the bible says, “Since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other…” it means our natural response is to love out of the love we have received.
Seinfeld Episode I am sometimes fascinated by the way things work be it a machine or a relationship. I remember a Seinfeld episode where Jerry and George are in a coffee shop. As they talk George confesses having made a major gaff in his relationship with his girlfriend. He said, “Well, it’s all over now. I really slipped up. You have no idea how fast these things deteriorate where there’s an ‘I love you’ out of the bag. You can’t have a relationship where one person says, ‘I love you’ and the other person says, ‘Let’s get something to eat.’ I’m never saying ‘I love again unless they say it first.’”
The way it is supposed to work is when one person says, “I love you,” the other person is supposed to say “I love you” back.
Machines are supposed to work. Relationships are supposed to work. Game plans are supposed to work. Electricity is supposed to work. So we are frustrated when things don’t work the way they ought to work. And when things don’t work the way they ought to work we have to do some trouble shooting to see why the-ought-to, isn’t.
The “ought” of it is that love is supposed to work.
IV. There is a problem when the “ought” isn’t or doesn’t work.
When we become followers of Christ we invite Christ into our lives… the Holy Spirit of God literally comes to live in us. That is what our text speaks to when it says, “if we love each other God lives in us…”
We can do a litmus test of our thoughts, words and deeds by simply asking, are these thoughts, words and actions loving? And if we realize that rather than loving the other we actually are pretty much disinterested in them, are disconnected, or even despise them, we have abnormal love function.
John is saying that since the Spirit of God lives in us and has filled our hearts with the love of God, what we express to others ought to be love. That’s the way it is supposed to work…
The key word here is “lives.” It may be translated abides, tarries, continues or remains.
So, when love isn’t happening…
A. At worst, God is not living in our house and there is no love of God in that person’s heart.
B. At best that person has issues that are not allowing God’s Spirit to live out God’s love through them. And when I say “issues” I mean sin. By “issues” I mean there are attitudes and/or actions present in a person’s life that reflect his or her life is not under the influence and guidance of the God’s Holy Spirit. When we are unloving it does not mean God doesn’t live there… it means he doesn’t have the run of the place. It means we’ve locked God up in the back bedroom and limited his influence in our lives.
In Ephesians 4 Paul encouraged a group of Christians to no longer live the way they used to live in their pre-Christian days. He said, “Throw off your old sinful nature and former way of life… instead let the Spirit of God renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God – truly righteous and holy.” He continues by telling them to stop doing that stuff and “do not bring sorrow to [or grieve] God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead be kind to each other, tender hearted, forgiving, one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Imitate God, therefore in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Jesus Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.” Ephesians 4:20-5:2
If we wish to make sure the Holy Spirit continues to take up residence in our lives and have the run-of-the-house, so to speak, there are some things of importance we need to be aware of.
It is important that Christians be self-aware, spiritually sensitive, and receptive to counsel and willing to change.
The person who really wishes to become the person God want them to be will be sensitive to his or her own thoughts, words and actions and act to ensure he or she continues to live in the Spirit.
• That person will be sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s convicting.
• That person will be open to the counsel of other godly people.
• That person will be willing to change.
• That person will be receptive of the presence and influence of the Holy Spirit.
Love really is at the core of what it means to be a Christian and in order to ensure that love is at the core of our lives we have to take our house/life back.
Conclusion:
On Tuesday evening 9News Wants to Know ran an investigative report about the growing trend of parents being forced to get a formal eviction notices from a judge in order to evict their adult children who moved home and then refuse to move out.
One story was of a woman who invited her son to move home when he lost his job. He did. And then he invited his friends to store their stuff in his mother’s home if they needed a place to leave stuff. He invited his friends to use his mother’s home to shower and do laundry. He invited his friends over to eat his mother’s food and so on… In a bad way the son had moved in and made his mother’s home his home. So his mother was forced to take legal action to regain control of her own home and rid herself of an unwanted guest.
When we become followers of Christ we invite Christ into our lives… the Holy Spirit of God literally comes to live in us. That is what our text speaks to when it says, “if we love each other God lives in us…” If we are not loving we likely need to do some evicting in order to make room for God to live out his life in and through us.
When we invite God into our lives we do not give him the spare room in the basement and a key to the back entrance. When we invite God into our lives we invite God to make himself at home. Our life is God’s house. God has the run of the place. And when God has the run of the place he fills the place with his love.
Love really is at the core of what it means to be a Christian. “Since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other…”
